How can we make doctors listen to our concerns?

[PaulaMS]

Hi Everyone

Ive recently joined the site to get help and advice on how to support someone living with anxiety. My partner Petesy uses this site regularly and find it's beneficial.

Just now Im struggling to understand why when we go to see Petesy G.P for various issues he is always just told its your anxiety. I feel that this make Petesy not want to go and speak to his G.P as its always the same.

Today he has been really calm and suddenly I made him a cup of tea and his right arm and hand (never had issue with this in past) started to really badly tremor. I instantly thought you need to get that checked out but he said no I'll just be told it's anxiety related. This shocks me as Ive MS and when I'm relapsing I tremor. Im not saying he has MS as I know the odd of us having a this condition would be extremely rare probably more chance of winning the lottery.

But this started a huge conversation between us about why doesn't his G.P doesn't investigate other things other than anxiety when he has these weird things happening to him? He agrees with me that he believes other things should be investigated. I feel that because he has anxiety on his medical record this used constantly as the reason for his issues.

So the point in my post is what can I do to make his doctor listen to our concerns? For me when I was diagnosed with MS. I had an odd tremor went to my own G.P and raised my concerns. I was initially told it nothing to worry about possible a trapped nerve and told they would refer me to an neurologist which I was told would be around 13 weeks wait. 2 weeks later I fell had no idea how it happened but my leg just gave way I think. It was then my doctor then sent me to A&E as he was concerned as I had a slight tremor in my left leg when he examined me and within a week I was diagnosed with M.S. Basically my scan had shown old and active lesions and neurologist had stated that I have been living with M.S for quite some time.

I just feel that them not listening to him is just prolonging Petesy from getting the best help.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Paula

[Petesy]

Just noticed you posted this :hugs:.. It falls into the boy who cried wolf category., and now I'll need to wait for an appointment probably for a week with my practice.. Shocking!!

Thank you ;-)

[swgrl09]

Aw, I just want to say that it's lovely to see a supportive partner on here. It's hard... I mean we go to doctors for reassurance a lot and it's learning to walk the delicate balance between getting something checked out and reassurance-seeking.

I guess all doctors are different. Some are wonderful and take you seriously despite the anxiety, some brush it off. I've so far had good doctors, but you never know. I mean here in the USA we can always get a second opinion, but for somebody with HA that could be feeding the beast too ...

[Sam Winter]

I agree with swgrl09, it usually depends on what kind of doctors you get, mine is pretty good but after an ultrasound he kind just left my reflux and dysphagia as it was because he put it down to anxiety but his understudy has got me seeing a gastro expert soon because she thinks it silent reflux, it does quite suck when they don't hear you out properly, often makes me feel like a child who doesn't understand anything, like i may have anxiety but i can still sense when something isn't right x

[PaulaMS]

Thank you for your reply.

It's just so difficult I understand that symptoms of anxiety can be tremors, numbness etc. I just feel that because Petesy has that on his medical history everything gets automatically associated to his anxiety being the cause without an proper investigation.

A lot of his symptoms that they say are caused by his anxiety are symptoms I suffer with but luckily for me I have been taken more seriously. It makes me wonder if I had a history of anxiety before I was diagnosed with M.S would I have actually been taken seriously.

I think we will have to wait and see how long this hand tremor last and be more vocal of our concerns with his Doctors as really it's so hard to watch him suffering and that feeling of nothing being done. I don't want him to feel he can't go to doctors when he concerned about something because he does feel palmed off with the same response.

For all the years Petesy has suffered with numerous symptoms very little investigation has been done.

It's really frustrating.

Paula

[Catherine S]

Hi Paula, do you not live together? Can Petsey not change doctors, perhaps register with the doctor who took your symptoms seriously?

Petsey. .see comment above.

ISB

[PaulaMS]

Yes we live together, my doctor isn't the local doctor in our area. Ive only ever seen the 2 doctors at my doctors surgery, I've been registered there since I was a baby and im now 32.

I did see about moving Petesy to mines but they have in the last couple of years implemented the rule all new patients need to be living in the local post code area to the practice.


I would have liked to have changed him to mines as at my practice there is only 2 doctors as it's very small surgery so you can build up a decent relationship with the doctors.

Paula

[Carnation]

Hi PaulsMS,

If you ask Petesy about me, he will tell you that I have helped him out on a few issues as a sufferer myself.

The answer to your question and is so common in these circumstances.
When you are diagnosed with Anxiety, the GP's tend to put almost everything down to Anxiety. You have to push for further investigation. It's a bit of 'cop out' situation.

Saying that, you can get tremors, weakness and all sorts through anxiety and panic attacks in some cases, so Petesy does not have to think the worst.
BUT! It should be checked out further anyway as it will eat away at you.

Also check whether it may be medication related, because this can be the case sometimes.

Really nice, by the way, what you have just done for your O/H. :)

[PaulaMS]

Hi Carnation

That's exactly how I feel that it's a cop out situation. Ive even started to attend more appointments with him as he feels like they don't listen to him and he needs that extra support.

Im not an medical expert but I know Petesy and I know when he's anxious or paniced about something without him even having to say anything to me.

I worked right up until April and there was times in the past when I would come in from work and Petesy would tell me things and I admit I would think "come on Petesy it's your anxiety". My thinking has completely changed as I see more first hand now what he's been going through and just want to get him more advice and help.


Paula

[Carnation]

Go with him next time Paula; if you can?
If you still don't have any joy, then contact the neurology department direct and explain your concerns. x

[Capercrohnj]

I'm having issues with my gastroenterologist. I have Crohn's and at least 3 fistulas that you can see (if he actually looked) and he doesn't seem concerned and acts like they are in my head. Um no you can see them and I have extreme pain and constant leakage from them. Ugh they have been there for 2 years and most people have them surgically fixed within a few months. He finally sent a referral to a surgeon but in Canada wait times are so long. Just waiting on my MRI report to prove him wrong.

[PaulaMS]

Yeah Carnation that's what Im going to do, I'll be making sure I go with him.

Thanks

Paula

[Carnation]

You have to stick together on stuff like this and the two of you together can accomplish more.
My partner is a sufferer too, but not as bad as me and in a different way.
We help each other and sometimes compare notes. :D
We always go to the Docs together now. It also acts as having a witness. :winks:

[PaulaMS]

That's like us as I have little moments of anxiety when my M.S flares up but no where near as bad as Petesy.

We can drive each other crazy most day but also keep one another sane when we need to aswell.

Paula

---------- Post added at 21:12 ---------- Previous post was at 21:06 ----------


I'm having issues with my gastroenterologist. I have Crohn's and at least 3 fistulas that you can see (if he actually looked) and he doesn't seem concerned and acts like they are in my head. Um no you can see them and I have extreme pain and constant leakage from them. Ugh they have been there for 2 years and most people have them surgically fixed within a few months. He finally sent a referral to a surgeon but in Canada wait times are so long. Just waiting on my MRI report to prove him wrong.

That must be so frustrating. Im glad you finally have a referell hopefully it's not too much longer you have to wait.


Paula