anxietysmymiddlename
08-01-17, 08:34
Hi guys, i have been having issues with not necessarily depression.. but a feeling of deep thinking about just myself and how i am..
I feel strongly that i have aspergers syndrome. I know im not overthinking about having such a condition. Because it and other disorders tend to run in my family. Like ocd for example.
I just dont feel normal. I am so far from it. And this bothers me so much guys.
What i am like is i tend to be very narrowminded in the things i talk about. If someone's talks about something i always seem to take the conversation back to where i want to talk about.. for example guitar. (I am a musician and love my music)
I just have a hard time communicating with people in a certain levels. Like when they ask me a question i tend to have difficulty getting right words out and sounding like an idiot. I wouldnt even consider myself anti-social. Its just kinda hard for me.
Now that characteristic isnt all to bad but theres more.
Like i am very VERY impulsive. I tend to get very worked up over small things and i have very bad mood swings. I can either be extremely happy and goofy or angry and sad. Also can say very mean things when im angry. Like my filter is gone and i cant hold it back.
I also have very poor academic grades because i literally cannot comprehend what i am being taught. I am mainly only good with specific sciences and history because i am very interested and strong in those.
Its just sad. How i feel is just hopeless on myself... because of how i am it costs me my relationships, a girl i truly cared for at the time told me she couldnt deal with me because of the way i am, specifically me "showing my emotions too much"... i just cant have that connection without the other person turning out to hate who i i i am. I seem to have a genuine connections with only a few people. Like family and my band mates. And can get pretty attached to people. Which i consider a good trait because i really care about people. But they get sick of me and throw me away anyway.
I just look around me and notice how different everyone else is. And then How messed up i am. I just want to be normal. My mom i talked to her about it all the time. She thinks its just a typical 17 yearold guy act. Which i dont believe that at all. All 17 year old guys act way different than i do.
Im just so messed up. How can i accept myself? I just dont like myself..
I feel strongly that i have aspergers syndrome. I know im not overthinking about having such a condition. Because it and other disorders tend to run in my family. Like ocd for example.
I just dont feel normal. I am so far from it. And this bothers me so much guys.
What i am like is i tend to be very narrowminded in the things i talk about. If someone's talks about something i always seem to take the conversation back to where i want to talk about.. for example guitar. (I am a musician and love my music)
I just have a hard time communicating with people in a certain levels. Like when they ask me a question i tend to have difficulty getting right words out and sounding like an idiot. I wouldnt even consider myself anti-social. Its just kinda hard for me.
Now that characteristic isnt all to bad but theres more.
Like i am very VERY impulsive. I tend to get very worked up over small things and i have very bad mood swings. I can either be extremely happy and goofy or angry and sad. Also can say very mean things when im angry. Like my filter is gone and i cant hold it back.
I also have very poor academic grades because i literally cannot comprehend what i am being taught. I am mainly only good with specific sciences and history because i am very interested and strong in those.
Its just sad. How i feel is just hopeless on myself... because of how i am it costs me my relationships, a girl i truly cared for at the time told me she couldnt deal with me because of the way i am, specifically me "showing my emotions too much"... i just cant have that connection without the other person turning out to hate who i i i am. I seem to have a genuine connections with only a few people. Like family and my band mates. And can get pretty attached to people. Which i consider a good trait because i really care about people. But they get sick of me and throw me away anyway.
I just look around me and notice how different everyone else is. And then How messed up i am. I just want to be normal. My mom i talked to her about it all the time. She thinks its just a typical 17 yearold guy act. Which i dont believe that at all. All 17 year old guys act way different than i do.
Im just so messed up. How can i accept myself? I just dont like myself..