View Full Version : Hate health anxiety!!!
Just that really. I was going to post this in the HA forum but didn't want to get distracted reading lots of thread titles that will just make it worse, so I hope it's ok to post it here.
I can't function today. I've not eaten or drank anything, I see the world going on as normal but I don't feel a part of it. I've been shaking, and can't relax, at all.
I have SO many health worries it's overwhelming, I always was a worrier but this particular aspect of anxiety came and went and a few years ago I really had it under control and accepted that maybe I wasn't about to drop.
Over the last 6 months or so it's all come back, I could think of 10 things right now that I fear I have and I'm pretty much convinced on all of them. Probably more if I went through my entire body from head to toe. To make it even worse I have a real fear of doctors, hospitals, tests...even the words 'scan', 'test', 'investigate' etc make my heart rate go up and I literally freeze.
When I tell someone one of my worries they say "Oh you should just go get it checked out" and I panic even more. It's getting there to get these tests done I can't physically do. It's an absolute nightmare :weep: So instead I'm left with my thoughts spinning around my head and planning for worst case scenarios. Then I get angry at myself for putting things off and think that if I'd only gone when I first noticed I could have saved myself.
Can anyone relate at all to this diatribe? I'm sorry it's so long I just have very few people I can talk to, I was discharged from CBT because I was ill and couldn't make 2 sessions and there is no decent free counselling local to me. I can't afford private.
Don't care if I get no replies, just going to talk to myself. As it helps slightly to get my thoughts out somewhere. Been very anxious again all day today, I'm so worried I have something severely wrong with me. My thinking is: all these illnesses or diseases have to happen to someone in the world, why wouldn't it be me? Or someone I care about?
I hate this, 15 years ago my obsessions were about things 'out there', so asteroids, black holes, end of the world prophecies, war. I barely spend any time worrying about any of that now and it's all about health and myself. It's so self indulgent and I know I'm a joke to some people.
Hi Crystal,
A lot of people on these boards would agree with a lot of what you say. Thing is it's time to start challenging those intrusive health anxiety thoughts. You can seek reassurance from others but ultimately it's you thats in control.
Make the positive choice to label those thoughts as unfounded, irrational and unhelpful and move on to more useful tasks.
It's not easy, especially at first but you can regain control.
Hi jebdog thank you for replying. You're right, I know it and I do actually know the best thing to do it's just sooo hard putting it into practise!
How do we know which thoughts are irrational and the anxiety 'speaking' and which ones are legit? This is what I have trouble with, and then throw in my fear of medical settings and tests and I'm a complete fuuck up :wacko:
Benisfked123
10-01-17, 21:51
I honestly can relate in ways, except I got my worries checked out as I just want to know I'm fine. what have you convinced yourself you've had? I've convinced myself I've got heart disease, brain tumour., my lungs collapsing soon. Basically all that good stuff
How do you find the bravery needed to go get them checked out? I'm in awe of anyone who faces their fears like that, it seems impossible for me.
Oh god, sorry you're worried about all those things :weep:
I worried as well about a brain tumour for a very long time, I did eventually force myself to see a neurologist though as it was ruining my life. At the moment I'm scared of got some kind of whole body infection as a complication from the flu I had 2 weeks ago, I'm scared I've got cervical, uterine, ovarian cancer, basically any female cancers. Pelvic inflammatory disease, early onset dementia, heart failure, high blood pressure, diabetes type 2, liver failure, kidney problems, possible DVT, a heart rythym disorder, eye problems (not specific I just don't think they're right), hormone imbalances.
OMG it's ridiculous isn't it. Some of these I'm only slightly concerned about, others are ruling my thoughts day in day out. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, this fear.
I think no one is fond of medical setting or tests. So there is nothing unusual about that.
It's a tough question and depends on the severity of the symptom but as you've said most are health anxiety and you've identified that. Don't google and make the positive choice to move on with something useful and stop worrying. It's really difficult but possible with time.
---------- Post added at 22:20 ---------- Previous post was at 22:17 ----------
All of those you list seem quite irrational to me based off having the flu.
But it's no good me saying it. You need to acknowledge it to yourself and drum the message every time a thought pops up until it hits home.
Benisfked123
10-01-17, 22:27
I think it's as I'm only 16 and I'm scared of having something terribly wrong with me, so I decided to get it all checked out. I had kidney failure when I was about 11 so I'm used to hospital settings etc. Just got to force yourself it will be worth it to find out you're okay!
Sorry to hear about your worries! I'm sure you'll get better. I found distracting myself is key to recovering
You're right, googling is a bad road to go down and no good ever seems to come of it. So am making a conscious decision not to do that with most of those fears.
Oh they are not all based off the flu, some of them are from months ago, a couple are more recent but I think the death of two people I know who are my age over the past month has triggered me really badly. And then as silly as it is having the flu hasn't helped either, I've had to rest and stop doing the things I do every day so had no routine and too much time on my hands to think. I'm still not well from it now and can't force it but going to try to get back to normal tomorrow as I can't spend another day sitting and obsessing like this.
---------- Post added at 22:34 ---------- Previous post was at 22:29 ----------
I think it's as I'm only 16 and I'm scared of having something terribly wrong with me, so I decided to get it all checked out. I had kidney failure when I was about 11 so I'm used to hospital settings etc. Just got to force yourself it will be worth it to find out you're okay!
Sorry to hear about your worries! I'm sure you'll get better. I found distracting myself is key to recovering
Ah you're so young to be worrying like this, it's no fun is it! :weep: That must have been tough when you were 11 to go through something like that, I suppose it could go either way, being in hospital could give you a fear of them or make you used to them.
I have an appointment on Friday for one thing on the list lol, so am going to try to work through them.
Thanks so much for posting.
Benisfked123
10-01-17, 22:50
No problem and good luck! Hope you get the answers you want :)
GlassPinata
10-01-17, 23:51
Just that really. I was going to post this in the HA forum but didn't want to get distracted reading lots of thread titles that will just make it worse, so I hope it's ok to post it here.
I can't function today. I've not eaten or drank anything, I see the world going on as normal but I don't feel a part of it. I've been shaking, and can't relax, at all.
I have SO many health worries it's overwhelming, I always was a worrier but this particular aspect of anxiety came and went and a few years ago I really had it under control and accepted that maybe I wasn't about to drop.
Over the last 6 months or so it's all come back, I could think of 10 things right now that I fear I have and I'm pretty much convinced on all of them. Probably more if I went through my entire body from head to toe. To make it even worse I have a real fear of doctors, hospitals, tests...even the words 'scan', 'test', 'investigate' etc make my heart rate go up and I literally freeze.
When I tell someone one of my worries they say "Oh you should just go get it checked out" and I panic even more. It's getting there to get these tests done I can't physically do. It's an absolute nightmare :weep: So instead I'm left with my thoughts spinning around my head and planning for worst case scenarios. Then I get angry at myself for putting things off and think that if I'd only gone when I first noticed I could have saved myself.
Can anyone relate at all to this diatribe? I'm sorry it's so long I just have very few people I can talk to, I was discharged from CBT because I was ill and couldn't make 2 sessions and there is no decent free counselling local to me. I can't afford private.
I feel that way too, some days.
It's like, "How many f@cking types of cancer can one person have, because I'm pretty sure I've got all of them, plus AIDS."
Then I try to look at it from a realistic perspective: I'm 44, objectively in perfect health, have never had a serious health issue.
But that's how things look from the outside. From in here, from inside my own head... every part of me shows symptoms of some disease, most of them terminal.
I hate health anxiety. I am right there with you. It has certainly stolen the best years of my life.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and visit my younger self, twenty years ago, and say, "Quit wasting your life on this! You aren't sick! Everything you're worried about is going to turn out to be nothing, and you're going to miss all the fun because of this anxiety!"
But then I'd have to add: "Look! Here you are, twenty years later, and not a bit better. Worried about the same old things, plus some new ones. Still healthy, but still miserable, wasting time, and missing all the fun."
:(
It's hard when you know the answer, but are absolutely unable to apply it to your own life.
It's like, "How many f@cking types of cancer can one person have, because I'm pretty sure I've got all of them, plus AIDS."
That really made me smile because I can relate to that exact sentence :D:scared15:
It's true all you say, from the outside people must think we're not quite right for focusing on all these seemingly invisible issues. But in our heads it's so real!
I know what you mean, if we could go back to us in our twenties we could say, "Look you're actually ok, don't waste any more time on this worry!" then we would, and it would be good to get into that mindset now.
It is hard to force your brain to be a certain way though, and yes I'm the same and know how I'd be to someone I knew who was like this and would look at it logically. As always, we are often too close to see it objectively.
We just have to keep going somehow.
Just writing for my own records really so I can keep track of how I'm feeling. I couldn't sleep last night for worrying that something awful was going to happen. I never used to care what my temperature was but this is a new one since having flu, I'm constantly checking just by feeling my face and head. Our thermometer has broken and I'm not buying a new one because I know what I'll be like, but it's like I've become obsessed by it.
I'm constantly analysing major areas of my body for signs that it's ok, or not. Wish I could speak to someone about this but I don't have anyone that I want to put this on, the kind of listening I really need is not fair to ask of family or the couple of friends I have.
This is no life at all, it's a constant state of 'emergency' in my brain and it's exhausting and I'm frightened and sick of it :( I can barely remember when life used to be fun, but I know it used to be and would love just one day of that emotional freedom.
When I tell someone one of my worries they say "Oh you should just go get it checked out" and I panic even more. It's getting there to get these tests done I can't physically do. It's an absolute nightmare :weep: So instead I'm left with my thoughts spinning around my head and planning for worst case scenarios. Then I get angry at myself for putting things off and think that if I'd only gone when I first noticed I could have saved myself.
Thing is, getting stuff checked out is the only way to give you reassurance as long as you accept the diagnosis of anxiety.
Can anyone relate at all to this diatribe? I'm sorry it's so long I just have very few people I can talk to, I was discharged from CBT because I was ill and couldn't make 2 sessions and there is no decent free counselling local to me. I can't afford private.
I had my last bout of CBT via the phone. It's worth asking if phone CBT is an option.
Thing is, getting stuff checked out is the only way to give you reassurance as long as you accept the diagnosis of anxiety.
I had my last bout of CBT via the phone. It's worth asking if phone CBT is an option.
Hi Nora sorry I've only just logged in and seen this. Thank you I'm going on Monday so will ask Dr for this option, many thanks :flowers:
Just updating for myself to look back on, anxiety has taken a bad turn and I've had some quite extreme emotions and reactions to things regarding my son. Feel like I can't be bothered anymore to think as thinking is too exhausting.
Went to GP yesterday, she has given me diazepam just a few to get me through this time. Also been re-referred to CBT so pleased about that.
I took a diazepam and slept for 3 hours this afternoon, just wanted to zone out and forget the world, feel like I'm happy to never speak to another person again. Have stopped shaking which is good, as that was making me believe I had yet ANOTHER illness, it's too exhausting.
Need a break from my stupid brain.
Scared tonight, wish this would stop ffs :( :( :( :( If it's not me I'm worrying about it's my son.
roseanxiety
19-01-17, 01:09
Crystal, I can totally relate to your fear of tests, scans etc. I have the same fear. I think I have all these serious illnesses and I can't bring myself to go to the dr for anything. I am literally TERRIFIED.
GlassPinata
19-01-17, 01:29
Crystal, I can totally relate to your fear of tests, scans etc. I have the same fear. I think I have all these serious illnesses and I can't bring myself to go to the dr for anything. I am literally TERRIFIED.
Me too. :(
Crystal, I can totally relate to your fear of tests, scans etc. I have the same fear. I think I have all these serious illnesses and I can't bring myself to go to the dr for anything. I am literally TERRIFIED.
Me too. :(
Glad I'm not the only one feeling like this. Well not glad but you know what I mean...less alone. It's a never ending cycle of despair in the pit of your stomach isn't it.
I really really need someone to talk to today - am in a very bad place and so worried about my son.
Is it normal with anxiety to be told one thing by a doctor but then start to doubt it and feel like they might have missed something? It's just I know that does actually happen, it's not like it's pure fiction. The NHS is overstretched and seemed so chaotic at an appointment my son had, I'm sure she just wanted to get rid of us. Am I being incredibly dismissive and rude saying that? If so I am just overwhlemed with panic and can't think straight :weep:
Am having very dark thoughts today, don't want to keep going like this it is no life.
---------- Post added at 11:49 ---------- Previous post was at 11:02 ----------
Please anyone..can anyone say ANYTHING to me? Not felt this bad in a while.
---------- Post added at 11:50 ---------- Previous post was at 11:49 ----------
Even just to tell me what you're doing today..I don't want to share this all with people I know, they are sick of me.
I hope it all gets better. I too am worried about my health so your not alone.
Thanks for replying. Aghh I'm sorry you're going through it too :( what a load of balls it is. If it helps feel free to vent am happy to listen :)
Crystal17,
I know when I get anxious I get nauseated and lose my appetite and that makes me think I am sick or that I am in danger. It feeds itself. On and on.
I went through bad HA for about 18months and then last year it got a lot better (as other anxiety things rose up instead). Now my HA is back a bit and I am doing my best to straddle that line between self-soothing and needing reassurance.
I mean, you don't want to run every time something feels off, but you don't want to sit on something that can be addressed.
It's a vicious thing.
Here's 3 things I try and remember that my therapist (and doctor) have told me in past...
1) Not every sensation is a symptom
2) Possibility vs probability. (My head hurts. Is is POSSIBLE it's a tumor? Hm. maybe a teeny tiny miniscule percentage is it PROBABLE that it's the weather, that I slept poorly, that I have been looking at a computer screen too long. MUCH more likely.)
3) If I DO seek reassurance from a health professional BELIEVE THEM. If they explain why they believe "x" I try and remember that it's their job to address things like this and they wouldn't want to put their job in jeopardy by overlooking something or mistreating the issue. That is in no one's best interest.
Hope those things can help.
-Dora
Hi Dora thanks that helps loads, I'm so grateful to you for replying as yesterday and today have been very bad days anxiety wise and I've felt so cut off.
The possibility vs probability is excellent, I'll really try to remember that one! I will instantly think that it has to be the most terrifying thing, don't know why guess it's the nature of anxiety.
The third one I am struggling with at the moment, I'm starting to doubt what a doctor has said and think she made a mistake possibly as she was getting frustrated and wanted me and my son out of there.
Need to get a grip somehow!
roseanxiety
22-01-17, 01:44
Thank you Doraflora for sharing what your therapist said! "Not every sensation is a symptom." I have been repeating that like a mantra all day today as I have been in an anxious state for a couple weeks now. It has really been helpful.
You are both welcome!
Sometimes it's hard to tell ourselves that.
And the ultimate goal will be to not have to remind ourselves because we don't pay attention to those sensations as much, but while we're building those skills it's a nice reminder.
Princess23
23-01-17, 16:06
Hi Crystal you are not alone , I basically think I'm having a heart attack when I drive past a hospital , let alone go in it and I talk the consultant to death when they are checking me out as worried they might say mmmm that's not right!! I have seen a neurologist, rheumatologist etc as I have loads of weird and wonderful symptoms.. going to ge my eyes checked out next month as I have convinced myself I have an eye disease, have eye ache, floaters , stinging eyes, weird sensations and I'm sure I see things out corner of my eye.. my life is run by anxiety and I loathe it, waiting to get help from uplift but been on the waiting list for 9 months!!!!!!!.. I can relate to how you feel, I also am terrified of what the specialists will say... chin up and know it's not just you xx
Hi Princess, thank you so much for your reply sweetie :hugs: I'm sorry I missed it, not been on here in a few days. It's nice to know I'm not alone in these fears - not nice to know another person is suffering of course, but helps if there's people who 'get it'.
Eyes - aghhhh I relate to you on that one, had a major eye phobia for years and hate opticians, far more than the dentist! It's just exhausting isn't it? Sending strength to you, I really do know what it's like.
UPDATE: I had a really bad morning yesterday, one of my fears is my son being hurt on his way to school. He was a bit late so I agreed to walk with him halfway so he had someone to walk with (I also do this sometimes to check he's ok) and said goodbye to him at the halfway point.
I walked almost all the way home then got a surge of extreme anxiety that something had happened. Heard two ambulances race past in the direction of the school. Even though I had to go out somewhere in an hour and needed to get ready, I RAN all the way to his school, tried to call them twice as well on the way and couldn't get through.
Got to the school and nothing looked out of place but then I thought maybe he's already on the way to hospital so phoned the school again, finally spoke to someone who said he was there and fine.
Cried all the way home (1 and a half miles) and my legs were like jelly so could barely walk after the adrenaline rush and all the running which I'm not used to (need the gym :blush:) Got home and had a bright red rash on my face, neck and chest and collapsed on the sofa crying. I took a diazepam and fell asleep for 3 hours, cancelled going out :(
Feel like I can't live like this, that is not a normal reaction is it??
Just updating again for myself - things have been less intense in some ways but more so in others.
Feeling very anxious tonight, issues with my son are making me feel scared, sad and out of control. I'm shaking a bit, worried about my own health so much.
Honest rhetorical questions - is life this 'dark' for everyone? Is it supposed to be like this, like it's good up to a point and then your eyes are opened and you realise it's actually a big con and not very nice at all?
I wanted to lend my support to you. I have had various times of HA in my life, and spent money on doctor's visits and tests I didn't need to have done only for them to come back normal then only for me to doubt the diagnosis, thinking they missed something. I've had strep throat for a few days now, which sucks by itself but I feel that when I get sick my anxiety and depression gets worse. My current worries aren't HA related, they are more along the existential, aging, passing of time, dying sort of fears but it's still an obsession just like HA worries are obsessions in our minds. As for the last question, I find myself wishing I could go back to the blissful ignorance of being a child. I have been saying for a while now that I feel like these new worries have awaken something in me that has shown me the harsh reality of life and of the world. I have a lot of dark thoughts about it all and it terrifies me, but I try to fight it with positivity even though sometimes I end up breaking down crying over it, but I also a lot of the time end up feeling somewhat better just fighting back with positivity. I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to, and I wish you well.
Wishitwouldstop
04-03-17, 22:29
Hey. I have worries in nearly every aspect of my life. My health is one. I fear so much ill die and death scares me soo much. Right now im scared i have breast cancer because one of my boobs hurt. (Most likely a muscle has been pulled due to over stretching) but if its not gone in a few days im going to get it checked out. My biggest health worries are cervical cancer and breast cancer. Luckily im not to scared about getting it checked i have been so many times getting myself checked. Everytime has been fine. Its just my head. But the doctors are great they say if i have any worries to get checked out. It will help put ur mind at ease xx
I wanted to lend my support to you. I have had various times of HA in my life, and spent money on doctor's visits and tests I didn't need to have done only for them to come back normal then only for me to doubt the diagnosis, thinking they missed something. I've had strep throat for a few days now, which sucks by itself but I feel that when I get sick my anxiety and depression gets worse. My current worries aren't HA related, they are more along the existential, aging, passing of time, dying sort of fears but it's still an obsession just like HA worries are obsessions in our minds. As for the last question, I find myself wishing I could go back to the blissful ignorance of being a child. I have been saying for a while now that I feel like these new worries have awaken something in me that has shown me the harsh reality of life and of the world. I have a lot of dark thoughts about it all and it terrifies me, but I try to fight it with positivity even though sometimes I end up breaking down crying over it, but I also a lot of the time end up feeling somewhat better just fighting back with positivity. I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to, and I wish you well.
Hello, I'm very sorry for the extremely late reply :huh: I haven't logged in for a while as I didn't expect any replies to be honest and have been trying not to focus too much on things. But anxiety is back, and it's so bad I could scream.
I really relate to what you say, about wishing we could go back to the ignorance of childhood. It seemed like the world was 'good' then but now it all feels so black somehow. I feel for you, when you say you try to fight back wit positivity as it seems like it's all we can do. Yes it does feel like obsession doesn't it? Absolutely hate it, I feel frozen at the moment and can't speak or write much. Thank you for your kind words.
---------- Post added at 18:59 ---------- Previous post was at 18:55 ----------
Hey. I have worries in nearly every aspect of my life. My health is one. I fear so much ill die and death scares me soo much. Right now im scared i have breast cancer because one of my boobs hurt. (Most likely a muscle has been pulled due to over stretching) but if its not gone in a few days im going to get it checked out. My biggest health worries are cervical cancer and breast cancer. Luckily im not to scared about getting it checked i have been so many times getting myself checked. Everytime has been fine. Its just my head. But the doctors are great they say if i have any worries to get checked out. It will help put ur mind at ease xx
Hi thank you and I relate very much to your worries, they are ongoing aren't they and really debilitating. I admire your strength in going to get them checked out, I wish I could do that :weep: that's lovely that the doctors you see are understanding, it does mean a lot doesn't it when we're scared.
Right now I'm paralysed with fear. I'm scared of 2 or 3 things that I feel are wrong with me but more than that I'm scared about my son and it's the worst bloody feeling in the world. I want to talk to someone but am scared to type the words.
I just feel like, these horrible illnesses have to happen to someone, so why not us? Can anyone help me? I'm in a bad way and feel like throwing up.
Hey, I'm feeling in a bad way too. I feel extremely similar to the way you do, that 'someone has to be the one to get these horrible diseases' and I always think knowing my luck it'll be me. I've had so many moments where I've thought I've had cancers, so engines more than one or heart conditions or both. I can't bare looking at my stomach and chest as I can see them nice to my heartbeat and I always freaking me out. I've had bowel problems for the past three years which is most likely lbs but I've worried about bowel cancer. I started feeling better in terms of health anxiety after I panicked yesterday I woke up today feeling good and positive until I was reading a news article when the next suggested article was about I young 20- something woman was misdiagnosed with ibs when she actually had ovarian cancer. Now I feel like I'm in the middle of what I call an 'healthy anxiety attack' because when I worried I could have it I suddenly felt really unwell because of the anxiety. I felt so panicked and my heart was beating faster, my vision was a bit blurred I felt weak and suddenly fatigued. Luckily I've managed to calm myself a little bit I still can't get these fears out of my head! I need help I just can't keep worrying and feeling ill like this. I completely understand how you feel x
---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:18 ----------
Sorry for some spelling mistakes there! If you need someone to talk to you can always PM me I know exactly how you feel and it's horrible x
Hi,
I'm sorry to read how your feeling. I ask my doc every 12-18 months or so for a 'check up'. OK, it's really unpleasant at the time but when it's over it does help my health anxiety. It gives me something to keep coming back to when I'm anxious - 'I've had a check-up and I was OK'.
Hey, I'm feeling in a bad way too. I feel extremely similar to the way you do, that 'someone has to be the one to get these horrible diseases' and I always think knowing my luck it'll be me. I've had so many moments where I've thought I've had cancers, so engines more than one or heart conditions or both. I can't bare looking at my stomach and chest as I can see them nice to my heartbeat and I always freaking me out. I've had bowel problems for the past three years which is most likely lbs but I've worried about bowel cancer. I started feeling better in terms of health anxiety after I panicked yesterday I woke up today feeling good and positive until I was reading a news article when the next suggested article was about I young 20- something woman was misdiagnosed with ibs when she actually had ovarian cancer. Now I feel like I'm in the middle of what I call an 'healthy anxiety attack' because when I worried I could have it I suddenly felt really unwell because of the anxiety. I felt so panicked and my heart was beating faster, my vision was a bit blurred I felt weak and suddenly fatigued. Luckily I've managed to calm myself a little bit I still can't get these fears out of my head! I need help I just can't keep worrying and feeling ill like this. I completely understand how you feel x
---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:18 ----------
Sorry for some spelling mistakes there! If you need someone to talk to you can always PM me I know exactly how you feel and it's horrible x
Hi Libra, thank you so much for posting :hugs: aghh it's sooo damn hard isn't it? The way you describe your symptoms, I totally understand, and it's almost like we have the anxious thoughts and then anxiety symptoms which seems to confirm something is wrong? It's good to hear that someone understands my thinking - not 'good' of course but helps to relate, and thank you yes I may PM x
---------- Post added at 21:41 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------
Hi,
I'm sorry to read how your feeling. I ask my doc every 12-18 months or so for a 'check up'. OK, it's really unpleasant at the time but when it's over it does help my health anxiety. It gives me something to keep coming back to when I'm anxious - 'I've had a check-up and I was OK'.
Hi Dave, I'm so sorry you suffer too :weep: seems there are a lot of us that do. How do you find the courage to have a check up? I physically can't, I will be sick and in such a state that I can't go, it's even worse when it's to do with my son.
How do you find the courage to have a check up?
As I have a check up about every year, I think I'm probably alright anyway, as it's only 12 months or so since my last check-up! I take 4mg diazepam about an hour and a half before seeing the doc. I don't worry too much waiting 2 weeks for the follow-up appointment to hear the results of the blood tests as I know the doc will contact me immediately if there's anything really serious. So the nearer I get to the 2 week appointment the more confident I am that there's nothing serious.
Added: I always see the same doctor. A woman doctor who I feel fairly comfortable with. I tried a few docs at my practice before settling on one.
Thank you Dave for explaining a bit more. That does actually make sense and I can maybe try some of these tips. I have diazepam too, for when I really need it and did actually make myself go and have a smear test a couple of months ago, took 4mg before. I have a lovely female GP who I only ever see and understands me. My biggest fears right now are blood tests and things to do with my son. I'm seeing her next week though so will bring this up to her and see if she can suggest anything so I can maybe do it a step at a time.
Thank you and sending good thoughts your way! x
Posting once again for my own record (quite sad thing to do probably:blush:)
There's so much horrible stuff in the world, London yesterday is just horrific and I've thought a lot about the innocent people caught up in it.
Guess I'm feeling guilty that I'm so anxious when there's worse things happening. I'm just not coping, every day there are these massive 'spikes' in anxiety and adrenaline, don't know how to describe it. Mostly about my son. He might be ok for a while and I can relax but then there's something else stressful and it sends me over the edge again. I can't imagine a day where I don't feel like this, all I know for sure is that it's NEVER been as bad as this, nowhere near.
RhiannaLouiseHerbert
10-05-17, 22:30
Hello lovely. Yeah I'm the exact same I have so many symptoms but not sure whether it's anxiety or actually something wrong. But then I'm PETRIFIED of tests. I had a smear done 10 days ago and my mum rung me at work to say I had a letter. No lie I was SO SCARED that I was shakin violently and couldn't even hold the phone whilst I was talking to her. It wasn't my results though so a panic over nothing. I was meant to have a blood test to check my hormone levels but I won't even go for that. I just dunno what to do anymore. How are you doing now? Any better. ? Xx
Hello lovely. Yeah I'm the exact same I have so many symptoms but not sure whether it's anxiety or actually something wrong. But then I'm PETRIFIED of tests. I had a smear done 10 days ago and my mum rung me at work to say I had a letter. No lie I was SO SCARED that I was shakin violently and couldn't even hold the phone whilst I was talking to her. It wasn't my results though so a panic over nothing. I was meant to have a blood test to check my hormone levels but I won't even go for that. I just dunno what to do anymore. How are you doing now? Any better. ? Xx
Hi I'm so sorry for missing this, I've been offline for ages. Sorry to hear your anxiety is bad, it sounds awful and I really relate to you. Do you have any help for it?
---------- Post added at 18:48 ---------- Previous post was at 18:47 ----------
I'm not doing good, I've got horrendous anxiety and need to talk to someone, but I don't think I'm overreacting, I'm genuinely worried about my son and don't even know what to type as I feel 'frozen' and just petrified.
UPDATE:
Increased my Sertraline by 50mg but it's not helping tbh. My peace of mind depends on my son - if he's not ok then I'm not ok. If he was incredibly happy then I like to think I'd be doing a lot better.
Saw a psychiatrist a few months ago but all she was interested in was increasing my meds, due to see her again in a few weeks. Am seeing a private counsellor too which helps a lot, don't know what I'd do without her actually.
I have such an EXTREME sadness in me, I keep reminiscing about the past and even thinking about times when I was struggling and in conflict, I was still overall happier than now! How weird is that, at the time I thought I was suffering but life was good - my beautiful son was happy and now he isnt.
mrsgilby569
08-09-17, 20:26
Hello Crystal,
I have just read all your posts and it was like I had written them all myself. I had a crappy year in 2016 and I ended up with awful health anxiety after I went to the doctor about my periods (they had stopped) She then looked all concerned and asked if my lower back hurt... (do you know where this is going... ) So she referred me to have an ultra sound done and ca-125 (this is a blood test to check for OC) Mine came back 41 (should 35 or lower). That was it my life was over,I have never experienced pain in my life (I'd rather give birth) I went through 4 months of every cancer you can think of. I went to London and had an MRI on my spine,a mamogramme and brought loads of tests online to check for bowel cancer. It was exhausting.... I have a toddler and a 12 year old too both hard work lol.
I don't know about you lot but has this affected your breathing? Mine is all over the place and when I lay down or put pressure around my chest or back it restricts my breathing even more (Doctors says this is classic anxiety) But I don't know?.
I have also been prescribed with 50mg of Sertraline (I am too scared to take).
Anyway... I have overcome most of my health anxiety and I think I did this by reading lots of books about anxiety/depression,I kept telling myself it's only anxiety,the main thing that helped even though at the time was terrifying was I had all the symptoms checked out. I had a long massive list. I am still a little worried about the blood test coming back higher but I've been checked by scans and I know from speaking to alot of prefessionals that this test does not mean I have anything and rely on it.
I really hope you all get through this,It's the worst experience of my life and I have only had for a little while.
Always talk to people about it too,I found this has really helped me I was so lucky to have good friends.
Good luck xxx
Hello Crystal,
I have just read all your posts and it was like I had written them all myself. I had a crappy year in 2016 and I ended up with awful health anxiety after I went to the doctor about my periods (they had stopped) She then looked all concerned and asked if my lower back hurt... (do you know where this is going... ) So she referred me to have an ultra sound done and ca-125 (this is a blood test to check for OC) Mine came back 41 (should 35 or lower). That was it my life was over,I have never experienced pain in my life (I'd rather give birth) I went through 4 months of every cancer you can think of. I went to London and had an MRI on my spine,a mamogramme and brought loads of tests online to check for bowel cancer. It was exhausting.... I have a toddler and a 12 year old too both hard work lol.
I don't know about you lot but has this affected your breathing? Mine is all over the place and when I lay down or put pressure around my chest or back it restricts my breathing even more (Doctors says this is classic anxiety) But I don't know?.
I have also been prescribed with 50mg of Sertraline (I am too scared to take).
Anyway... I have overcome most of my health anxiety and I think I did this by reading lots of books about anxiety/depression,I kept telling myself it's only anxiety,the main thing that helped even though at the time was terrifying was I had all the symptoms checked out. I had a long massive list. I am still a little worried about the blood test coming back higher but I've been checked by scans and I know from speaking to alot of prefessionals that this test does not mean I have anything and rely on it.
I really hope you all get through this,It's the worst experience of my life and I have only had for a little while.
Always talk to people about it too,I found this has really helped me I was so lucky to have good friends.
Good luck xxx
Oh my goodness Mrsgilby, that sounds like such an ordeal for you! :weep: I can't even imagine...just having all those tests sounds terrifying, I really think you are SO brave to do that. You should be incredibly proud.
Yes my breathing can be all over the place tbh, especially at night. In fact as I'm falling asleep I have a fear that Im stopping breathing and sometimes it then feels like its happening.
Really hope you're doing ok now, sorry for such a late reply. Thank you for sharing your experience and please do share more if you feel you can xx
***UPDATE***
Am not doing good AT ALL. I have physical anxiety symptoms most days, I worry all the time, I have severe health anxiety but now not only is it about me but it is FIXATED on my son's health. It's unbearable - when I get into a spin I can't eat, I can't drink, I can't relax/sleep, I can't hold a conversation, I can't go outside. I feel like something is going to happen and I can't stop it and can't protect him properly :(
I have no one to talk to anymore, feel so lonely with this.
Crap update I know, mostly writing this for my own records really as it must be so boring for others reading it!
Is there anyone who can talk to me?
Hi Crystal I know how you feel I am exactly the same especially tonight hence sitting up reading. My anxiety is sky high not helped by the fact I think I may have a chest infection
roseanxiety
11-03-18, 12:20
Is there anyone who can talk to me?
Hi Crystal, just curious if you’ve been able to muster up the courage to go to a doctor?? I have been getting worse with my fear of this to the point of not being able to schedule a teeth cleaning or eye exam because of the intense fear that they will “find something” that needs to be checked out further. I need both an eye exam and a dental exam and can’t make myself schedule either.
Have you overcome this? and if you did, how did you?
Or if anyone else reads this, please offer help if you can.
Thank you.
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