nietweer
09-01-17, 23:54
Im a 31 year old male, generally healthy.
Around 3 years ago, I had my 1st panic attack. I was playing tennis and after 30 secs of exercising, my heart was pounding in my chest already as if I was exercising already for hours. It was probably caused by something as minor as caffeïne, stress, alcohol the day before, etc.
But as anxious as I was, I couldn't let it go and I played for 2 hours straight with a heavy pounding heart while constantly paying attention to it to see if something was wrong. At the end of the session, I felt a couple of 'mis beats' or PVC's.
I went home and had a panic attack. Sweating, racing thoughts, feeling of impending doom, you name it. A couple of days later I had an even worse one and was unable to drive home. Just had to lay down and wait it out. Just really feeling scared about there being something wrong with my heart and body.
Now I have to admit that before my 1st attack, I was already pretty hypochondriac and also measuring my heart rate often. But from that moment on it became an obession. In the upcoming years there were days when I'd measure my heart rate more than 100 times.
Every beat which wasn't 100% in sync or every rate which was just a bit off, was a cause for concern. Googeling, more measuring, etc.
It toke me a while before I 'trusted' my heart and myself (my mind) again, before I could take up exercising again. But I did. I played some heavy tennis matches and they got easier and easier. After a while I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with my heart, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to play those matches without any problems. I started to enjoy life again.
Until one year later I got one more panic attack. This time, I was more afraid that my mind would be able to influence my heart rate. I was literally scared to think about my heart, afraid that I would be able to cause missed beats or a heart attack with my mind, just by thinking about it.
As you can imagine I went crazy for some time and the anxiety got worse for a couple of weeks.
I decided it was time to do something about it. I've read many books, 'The ********** being the the best one and most helpful of them, and I've started to push myself to out there and continue to keep doing the things I became afraid of. I decreased measuring my heart rate and checking for symptoms and it did got a lot better.
There is just this one thing I can't seem to beat. It's exercising.
I mostly feel pretty good now, until my heart rate goes up to about 120 bpm or higher.
For some reason I am not 'aware' of my heartbeat up until around 120 bpm, but from 120 bpm and upwards on I can 'feel' my heart pounding in my chest even though I'm not measuring.
Does anyone recognize this? It's 99% sure just my anxiety and hyperawareness, but it's very inconvenient for me.
Because the moment I start to feel my heart pound, I am no longer able to relax or enjoy the stuff that I'm doing such as exercising or playing tennis.
It's just too 'overwhelming' for me to feel it pound in my chest and it brings me in a loop of not wanting to think about it to make it worse, but ending up doing it even more.
So yea, I have avoided playing tennis and exercising vigirously for about a year now and I hate myself for doing it. I overcame 90% of all my fears, but this one seems to be the only one still standing. My ****ing heart anxiety.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? How did you overcome it?
Deep down inside I know the only thing that I can do is exercise everyday until I get used to the feeling of a pounding heart. Probably I will notice it even less after a while, but who knows.
But even deeper down I'm still scared I guess that I shouldn't feel my heart pound at those rates and that there might be something wrong.
Does anyone of you had a similar experience? And did you get used to the feeling of your pounding heart after a while? Or did you stop feeling that altogether? Any tips or advice?
I hate it also because exercise is healthy and I am way to inactive now in my daily life. On top of that, I loved tennis as a game and would love to be back on the courts again feeling happy and lively.
Thanks everyone for listening. Anything that can help is appreciated.
Around 3 years ago, I had my 1st panic attack. I was playing tennis and after 30 secs of exercising, my heart was pounding in my chest already as if I was exercising already for hours. It was probably caused by something as minor as caffeïne, stress, alcohol the day before, etc.
But as anxious as I was, I couldn't let it go and I played for 2 hours straight with a heavy pounding heart while constantly paying attention to it to see if something was wrong. At the end of the session, I felt a couple of 'mis beats' or PVC's.
I went home and had a panic attack. Sweating, racing thoughts, feeling of impending doom, you name it. A couple of days later I had an even worse one and was unable to drive home. Just had to lay down and wait it out. Just really feeling scared about there being something wrong with my heart and body.
Now I have to admit that before my 1st attack, I was already pretty hypochondriac and also measuring my heart rate often. But from that moment on it became an obession. In the upcoming years there were days when I'd measure my heart rate more than 100 times.
Every beat which wasn't 100% in sync or every rate which was just a bit off, was a cause for concern. Googeling, more measuring, etc.
It toke me a while before I 'trusted' my heart and myself (my mind) again, before I could take up exercising again. But I did. I played some heavy tennis matches and they got easier and easier. After a while I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with my heart, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to play those matches without any problems. I started to enjoy life again.
Until one year later I got one more panic attack. This time, I was more afraid that my mind would be able to influence my heart rate. I was literally scared to think about my heart, afraid that I would be able to cause missed beats or a heart attack with my mind, just by thinking about it.
As you can imagine I went crazy for some time and the anxiety got worse for a couple of weeks.
I decided it was time to do something about it. I've read many books, 'The ********** being the the best one and most helpful of them, and I've started to push myself to out there and continue to keep doing the things I became afraid of. I decreased measuring my heart rate and checking for symptoms and it did got a lot better.
There is just this one thing I can't seem to beat. It's exercising.
I mostly feel pretty good now, until my heart rate goes up to about 120 bpm or higher.
For some reason I am not 'aware' of my heartbeat up until around 120 bpm, but from 120 bpm and upwards on I can 'feel' my heart pounding in my chest even though I'm not measuring.
Does anyone recognize this? It's 99% sure just my anxiety and hyperawareness, but it's very inconvenient for me.
Because the moment I start to feel my heart pound, I am no longer able to relax or enjoy the stuff that I'm doing such as exercising or playing tennis.
It's just too 'overwhelming' for me to feel it pound in my chest and it brings me in a loop of not wanting to think about it to make it worse, but ending up doing it even more.
So yea, I have avoided playing tennis and exercising vigirously for about a year now and I hate myself for doing it. I overcame 90% of all my fears, but this one seems to be the only one still standing. My ****ing heart anxiety.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? How did you overcome it?
Deep down inside I know the only thing that I can do is exercise everyday until I get used to the feeling of a pounding heart. Probably I will notice it even less after a while, but who knows.
But even deeper down I'm still scared I guess that I shouldn't feel my heart pound at those rates and that there might be something wrong.
Does anyone of you had a similar experience? And did you get used to the feeling of your pounding heart after a while? Or did you stop feeling that altogether? Any tips or advice?
I hate it also because exercise is healthy and I am way to inactive now in my daily life. On top of that, I loved tennis as a game and would love to be back on the courts again feeling happy and lively.
Thanks everyone for listening. Anything that can help is appreciated.