View Full Version : If you want to recover like I do.
Not sure this is the right sub forum for this post, so mods feel free to move it!
Any way I want and need to recover as I cant not go on year after year and no changes, So any one else in the same boat lets do this together either post here or pm thanks :)
Clydesdale Epona
10-01-17, 11:38
Hi there bigboyuk :) I'm currently in the midst of turning over a new leaf this year so I'd be happy to go through the journey with you
Hi there bigboyuk :) I'm currently in the midst of turning over a new leaf this year so I'd be happy to go through the journey with you Ok sounds good thank you :)
This is awesome, im kind of already on this journey. Two questions for you both...
What does recovery look like to you?
How will you know when you get there?
mezzaninedoor
10-01-17, 13:39
For me, recovery is an interesting thing for us all.
SLA is right to ask 'What does recovery look like for you', as for me recovery isn't really about recovery as with my condition the talk is about being 'stable and able' to navigate my condition. I only know that I'm there because I'm managing 95%+ attendance at my workplace without my private life going into meltdown.
Theres talk with BiPolar that the reovery rate is only 20% so the above is a more sensible proposition for me.
This is awesome, im kind of already on this journey. Two questions for you both...
What does recovery look like to you?
How will you know when you get there?Hmm good points raised SLA the first one needs a bit more clarification please!
The second one oh I will know all ready been there last year :) Percentage wise (for depression) is good well for me if things pan out for me, if they don't then there's no change and I will still be where I am right now. I reckon there should have been a third question what will change your current position? And I even know the answer to that too!! Cheers
I'll clarify my question a little.
How do you see the process of recovery going? What steps need to be taken today/tomorrow to get the ball rolling?
The second one oh I will know all ready been there last year
Great, so what does that feel like?
I reckon there should have been a third question what will change your current position? And I even know the answer to that too!!
Fantastic! So what is it?! :D
I'll clarify my question a little.
How do you see the process of recovery going? What steps need to be taken today/tomorrow to get the ball rolling?
Great, so what does that feel like?
Fantastic! So what is it?! :D Ahh not got used to using the multi quote on here yet but will have to give it ago, but not today. Ok thanks for the clarification :) I see it going good, in fact very good if the steps taken/being taken work out! The steps to be taken for me are making new friends Meet ups etc that sort of thing was in that position last year and I felt so good my lonliness which doesn't help my depression was both infact very low Yay:yesyes:. But now because of a huge set back iam back to my old self follow,
makes sense. And in answer to my new third question that everyone should be asking themselves. in my case see above, and keep seeking what ever you need to change and in my case seek new friends easy wish it was :) Thank you Cheers
Clydesdale Epona
10-01-17, 15:00
Honestly as far as what recovery looks like to me, it's me being and stable and able to cope, i'd love to be able to just cope well so i can give 100% to my job, maybe go to college? and start getting into my passion properly, my biggest dream however is the simply cope. we all get bad days and i'm happy with that, i'm just right now aiming to break them down so i don't constantly live like it(if this makes any sense :roflmao:) as far as what steps i have to take i'm currently in the process of just sorting out my wellbeing, i'm in a current state where i'm sleeping late and staying in bed quite late, and just kind of lacking in my own health and things like that, i'm also so tired i don't have energy for anything(which i'm guessing is also from my little depression spurt) i'm hoping once i sort that out i'll get a better idea on the rest x
as far as knowing when i get there i'm just going until i'm satisfied really x
That's great!
The reason I ask these questions is its important to know what actually "recovering" looks like. How will you be different as a person?
as far as knowing when i get there i'm just going until i'm satisfied really
Perfectly acceptable!
Sometimes "knowing what it feels like when you get there" is the only way forward.
Wishing you both all the best.
Clydesdale Epona
10-01-17, 16:38
Thank you! at the moment watching your videos is very helpful whenever i feel like i lose motivation i give your videos and a watch it really helps x
Prehaps those who subscribe to this thread can help each other out and encourage each other just like Aiden said :)
Catherine S
10-01-17, 20:38
But isn't helping each other what we are doing on the forum already though? Or is the point to create a smaller group. Yes it makes sense Bboy.
Cath ☺ x
I'll clarify my question a little.
How do you see the process of recovery going? What steps need to be taken today/tomorrow to get the ball rolling?
Great, so what does that feel like?
Fantastic! So what is it?! :D
But isn't helping each other what we are doing on the forum already though? Or is the point to create a smaller group. Yes it makes sense Bboy.
Cath ☺ x Yes of course we do already but was thinking along the lines within this thread for those who want to recover hints and tips etc What works, what might not work think it's a great idea my self I need and want to recover and not be saying the same things in 12 months time : Cheers
Catherine S
10-01-17, 23:31
Absolutely, a smaller group on its own thread works well Bboy. At least you are being positive and proactive and determined to make your life better. I'm in, and i'll help where I can. Starting with the tea and buscuits :D
Cath ☺ x x
Clydesdale Epona
11-01-17, 00:24
Tea and biscuits are a necessity to groups so I'm glad of that :roflmao: actually speaking of tea I've got my earl grey right now haha x
Catherine S
11-01-17, 00:32
I love Earl Grey too Aiden. I've been a decaf tea drinker for many years because it helps my palpitations, but if i'm in a café that doesn't have decaf tea, which tends to be less common than decaf coffee, I will always ask for an Earl Grey as an alternative :)
Hope you're feeling ok tonight
Cath ☺ x
Clydesdale Epona
11-01-17, 00:49
I'm a bit of enthusiast myself, i have like 20 different herbal teas in my cupboard :roflmao: i generally drink decaff as well :)
i'm feeling pretty good tonight thanks Cath, dealing with my annual new years rough patch at the moment but i'm slowly getting over it, i hope you're feeling alright x
Catherine S
11-01-17, 01:05
Goodcto hear you're having an up day/eve, hopefully the good days will eventually outweigh the bad days, thats all we can ask for. I'm doing ok thank you Aiden, my sleeping pattern could be better but i'm going with the flow at the mo' :D
Your horses must keep you sane. Looking after them must keep you grounded? I love horses for just being horses, but sad to say that I'm so scared of them. When my daughter was a little girl, we'd take some apples up the lane near our house to feed the horse that was kept in the field there, but try as I might I couldn't bring myself to get within 3ft of it, so it was Emma who gave it the apples. But I really loved that horse...from 3ft away.
Cath ☺ x
GlassPinata
11-01-17, 01:19
If I'm honest, what I REALLY want is a life where I never find another worrisome symptom on my body. I want a promise that I am going to live to age 90, in perfect health, and then get hit by a bus and die instantly.
But that is not realistic, of course.
So yes, i suppose i do want- or NEED- to try and recover from my health anxiety.
It is ruining my life, so much worse than any physical illness ever has.
Catherine S
11-01-17, 01:37
Exactly right GP, the nature of HA is that we tend to jump too far ahead to what might be wrong, but in reality, if the unthinkable was to actually happen we deal with it, as has been proven so many times.
I was talking to someone on here just today, who's anxiety previously about her heart was through the roof. She'd had some test results that indicated something wasn't quite right and was referred to a cardiologist who, when presented with her results was able to reassure her that it's really not as bad as it seems. He explained everything to her and suggested a few more tests and she relayed this information to us quite calmly, compared to the panic of not knowing and living with her anxiety filled imagination.
What i'm trying to say, probably badly, is that we are the strongest people around, we have to be...look at what we have to cope with every day. We feel like crap most days but we get up and face the day with what little strength we have. We carry on because we have no choice, it's all we can do and we do, day after day and night after night. I mean let's not mess about here, we're bloody fab!
Cath ☺ x
Clydesdale Epona
11-01-17, 01:40
Goodcto hear you're having an up day/eve, hopefully the good days will eventually outweigh the bad days, thats all we can ask for. I'm doing ok thank you Aiden, my sleeping pattern could be better but i'm going with the flow at the mo' :D
Your horses must keep you sane. Looking after them must keep you grounded? I love horses for just being horses, but sad to say that I'm so scared of them. When my daughter was a little girl, we'd take some apples up the lane near our house to feed the horse that was kept in the field there, but try as I might I couldn't bring myself to get within 3ft of it, so it was Emma who gave it the apples. But I really loved that horse...from 3ft away.
Cath ☺ x
I'm with you on the sleeping pattern that's one of my biggest rough patch issues at the mo, my sleeping pattern is sloppy and I'm so fatigued haha
I actually got my volunteering opportunity from taking a 4 week horse course for my anxiety, when you're simply brushing or stroking a horse it seems as though your problems just disappeared into thin air, its very relaxing, I understand what you mean by the fear I'm better now through exposure but at first I was terrified, I still am quite scared to this day thanks to my anxiety, riding is an issue sometimes but one day i avoided riding and any activities with the kids, and only did basic mucking out and surprise surprise on the way home i got briefly crushed by the bus doors which lead to a sprained arm and broken dignity :roflmao: after that I've kind of seen how there's not much point in being overly anxiously over certain things because some things are just bound to happen haha x
Hey looks like you have already settled folks in :cool: Iam not normally up this early,
but one of the cleaners in a chemists has left last week I have been asked to cover for triple time :yesyes: so will be back later :)
Clydesdale Epona
11-01-17, 07:44
Oh yay for a triple shift! haha :yesyes:
Oh yay for a triple shift! haha :yesyes: Yes indeed it should be a extra £50 plus which will go on the current pay run bonus but now I am tired and still got my normal contract to do so just having a coffee and then get my other one done :) Cheers
mezzaninedoor
11-01-17, 14:52
I'm with you on the sleeping pattern that's one of my biggest rough patch issues at the mo, my sleeping pattern is sloppy and I'm so fatigued haha
Im struggling again with my poor Sleep hygiene, its all gone to pot.
Problem is I'm not even sure I'm fatigued just that I feel tired and I also feel heavy having put on loads of weight in last 6 months.
I know my Meds are part of my tiredness issue BUT
Sleep is so so odd, last night I went to bed, very tired, with nothing on my mind as far as I could tell, yet it was 3.30am) until I got to sleep and then it was broken
Saw my CPN today and he didnt really have any great help with sleep apart from encouraging me to get back to a regime at my Gym
Im struggling again with my poor Sleep hygiene, its all gone to pot.
Problem is I'm not even sure I'm fatigued just that I feel tired and I also feel heavy having put on loads of weight in last 6 months.
I know my Meds are part of my tiredness issue BUT
Sleep is so so odd, last night I went to bed, very tired, with nothing on my mind as far as I could tell, yet it was 3.30am) until I got to sleep and then it was broken
Saw my CPN today and he didnt really have any great help with sleep apart from encouraging me to get back to a regime at my Gym I know with me I get chronic fatigue it's part of my condition, so I have to try and manage it the best I can, by knowing my limits :) Also with out being personal having all the extra weight on you cant help as I can relate to that :) Are you a comfort eater ? As for sleep problems I suffer these too, my body may be tired but if I have a over active mind then my sleep goes out of the window big time, so suggest trying a mental work out on your brain tire it out
if that doesn't help then try some natural herbal sleep remidies like Klams :) You have nothing to lose Good luck let us know how you get on please!! Cheers
mezzaninedoor
11-01-17, 16:02
I didnt think I was a comfort eater but I might be
I used to sit around the 98-100 kg which isnt slim but I could cope with
In the last 6 months I have shot up to 116kg and I now have belly dangle which I hate
:( I need to get to grips with it as the weight is now affecting my mood as well
I have a Gym membership, need to find some motivation from some where
My CPN seems to think that my Quetiapine might be partly to blame as well so iev got to overcome that making me hang on to weight as well as my poor eating habits of late :/
Meds can definitely cause weight gain. I gained over a stone on Fluoxetine and over a stone on Paroxetine. My eating and exercise habits never changed at all.
I didnt think I was a comfort eater but I might be
I used to sit around the 98-100 kg which isnt slim but I could cope with
In the last 6 months I have shot up to 116kg and I now have belly dangle which I hate
:( I need to get to grips with it as the weight is now affecting my mood as well
I have a Gym membership, need to find some motivation from some where
My CPN seems to think that my Quetiapine might be partly to blame as well so iev got to overcome that making me hang on to weight as well as my poor eating habits of late :/ Well did you eat more when you were down or your condition overwhelmed you if you answer yes then you re a over eater. Ouch that's some weight gain for your physical well being health and diabeties you need to get the weight off I did about 5 years ago I was 16 stone my back hurt a lot I couldn't breathe very well so glad I have got down to 70KG or 11 stone :) I was trapped and helpless before and I felt bad :eek: I now have one less worry to concern my self with :)
Come on set this mini group up so we can discuss each other problems and help each other :)
mezzaninedoor
11-01-17, 17:07
Thanks for the encouragement folks, Im really going to try
Clydesdale Epona
14-01-17, 01:43
I'm glad of that, trying's the best thing we can do :hugs:
Hey Mezzaninedoor, I've been trying to motivate myself to get up and get more active too. I don't know if it's just that I don't have the metabolism I used to have, or what, but the past two years I have gained a decent amount of weight. I also got into a job where I sit all day. It's not at the point where I think I am unhealthy, per say, but looking at pictures I can tell a big difference and feel poorly about myself.
But it's this depression that makes it so hard to try. Anxiety is energizing and it's not as hard to get moving (for me at least). But when my depression kicks in, it is so hard to get off the damn couch. I don't even want to walk the dog and that isn't a good sign. Winter is also a factor, making it that much harder to get out with her. I know it's good for both of us though.
We have a gym nearby that isn't too expensive. I have been telling myself I would sign up for two months now. I make excuses - I'm tired after working full time, I don't have time, etc. I am struggling with motivation!
So for me recovery is not just anxiety but depression too. I think I am handling my anxiety relatively well, considering I have been off my medication since Thanksgiving. Depression has been a tougher battle.
Catherine S
14-01-17, 02:07
Some meds interfere with insulin levels apparently, and insulin controls excess sugar in our system so if insulin levels are out of whack, it stands to reason that sugar levels will be too. Resulting in weight gain. I know that beta blockers affect insulin because it says so on the tin :)
ISB
Hey Mezzaninedoor, I've been trying to motivate myself to get up and get more active too. I don't know if it's just that I don't have the metabolism I used to have, or what, but the past two years I have gained a decent amount of weight. I also got into a job where I sit all day. It's not at the point where I think I am unhealthy, per say, but looking at pictures I can tell a big difference and feel poorly about myself.
But it's this depression that makes it so hard to try. Anxiety is energizing and it's not as hard to get moving (for me at least). But when my depression kicks in, it is so hard to get off the damn couch. I don't even want to walk the dog and that isn't a good sign. Winter is also a factor, making it that much harder to get out with her. I know it's good for both of us though.
We have a gym nearby that isn't too expensive. I have been telling myself I would sign up for two months now. I make excuses - I'm tired after working full time, I don't have time, etc. I am struggling with motivation!
So for me recovery is not just anxiety but depression too. I think I am handling my anxiety relatively well, considering I have been off my medication since Thanksgiving. Depression has been a tougher battle.
You don't need motivation. You just need to start really small. Go for a 2 minute walk outside...
Come back. Next night, 4 minutes. Just make a start.
I know it seems difficult, because you have put all of these mental barriers in the way "no motivation, depression, tired etc"....
One thing I have learnt lately is that motivation is a bit of a myth. Sometimes you just have to get on and do something without the motivation.
And a good way to do that is to start very small. Because it doesnt take much motivation to walk for 2 minutes.
Once you actually start, the mental barriers start to fall down, and you make progress.
SLA, I do agree with you. We can't wait around for our motivation to show up and kick us in the pants. I make excuses and barriers for myself and in the end I think I get to a point where justifying not doing it takes more mental energy than if I just got up and tried.
That happened last night. Long week of work, tons of excuses. It's cold, I'm tired, tomorrow, my pain is acting up, etc. I didn't go to the gym but I did an indoor exercise video for a half hour. Better than nothing.
Today I plan to take the dog for a decent length walk (half hour at least) and do some exercises at home. The only issue with the cold is sometimes my toes go numb despite the layers I wear ... it's a genetic thing. My dog isn't a cold weather dog either and sometimes I try to walk her and she will refuse or will not let her paws stay on the ground! It's funny actually. So if she won't do it, I gotta find another way. I am going to try buying healthier food and stick to it more.
I hope to have some accountability here. This is a good idea for a thread. Hope everybody else is hangin in!
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ISB I've heard that too about meds. I'm not sure which ones. I recently got off both lexapro and my birth control pill. We'll see. I'm not expecting that to help too much with the weight issue though because both of them I had been on and not gained weight when I was a little younger.
SLA, I do agree with you. We can't wait around for our motivation to show up and kick us in the pants. I make excuses and barriers for myself and in the end I think I get to a point where justifying not doing it takes more mental energy than if I just got up and tried.
That happened last night. Long week of work, tons of excuses. It's cold, I'm tired, tomorrow, my pain is acting up, etc. I didn't go to the gym but I did an indoor exercise video for a half hour. Better than nothing.
Today I plan to take the dog for a decent length walk (half hour at least) and do some exercises at home. The only issue with the cold is sometimes my toes go numb despite the layers I wear ... it's a genetic thing. My dog isn't a cold weather dog either and sometimes I try to walk her and she will refuse or will not let her paws stay on the ground! It's funny actually. So if she won't do it, I gotta find another way. I am going to try buying healthier food and stick to it more.
I hope to have some accountability here. This is a good idea for a thread. Hope everybody else is hangin in!
---------- Post added at 04:47 ---------- Previous post was at 04:44 ----------
ISB I've heard that too about meds. I'm not sure which ones. I recently got off both lexapro and my birth control pill. We'll see. I'm not expecting that to help too much with the weight issue though because both of them I had been on and not gained weight when I was a little younger. I think sometimes 'we' justify our selves by making excuses half the time. I think though lack of motivation doesn't help either :) So your weight have you checked out your BMI (Body Mass Index) I See you have a dog!! What breed is he/she? Cheers
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The idea behind this thread is 2 fold at least one to mentally challenge every one who joins this thread, to get on the road to recovery 2. To actively help each other not only mentally, but practicallly too where ever possible :) Cheers
mezzaninedoor
14-01-17, 13:26
You don't need motivation. You just need to start really small. Go for a 2 minute walk outside...
Come back. Next night, 4 minutes. Just make a start.
I know it seems difficult, because you have put all of these mental barriers in the way "no motivation, depression, tired etc"....
One thing I have learnt lately is that motivation is a bit of a myth. Sometimes you just have to get on and do something without the motivation.
And a good way to do that is to start very small. Because it doesnt take much motivation to walk for 2 minutes.
Once you actually start, the mental barriers start to fall down, and you make progress.
Yes, its interesting as the current thinking at work is that small incremental changes get you success. Its the same strategy that David Brailsford has used with the UK cycling team.
Im guessing that we can get there that way with our own health.
Catherine S
14-01-17, 13:48
Also, for those who want physical support as well as mental support, perhaps we can share health and fitness tips, in a straightforward easy to understand way? Such as healthy eating tips:
Healthy pancakes - American style! (Makes 2 saucer size or 4 small)...Recipe 1.
Take 1 large banana and mash with a fork (this releases the natural sugar)
Lightly beat 2 eggs together (any size) also with a fork
Beat eggs and banana together until reasonably smooth
Pour or ladle the mixture into a hot pan sprayed with zero calorie oil or similar, and cook for a few minutes each side. Serve as is, or with a drizzle of honey, or fruit and natural yoghurt topping etc.
There's no flour or added sugar, just eggs and banana. I didn't think it would work, I thought it would taste like a banana omelette but surprisingly it does make pancakes :D
ISB
I actually have everything needed to make that recipe ISB! Thanks! :)
BigBoyUK - Yep, my husband and I got her last year from a rescue agency. She is a big ol' mutt. She's part boxer, part beagle so she essentially looks like a hound dog with a bigger chest. She weighs about 60 pounds. She's a love bug and will cuddle all the tie, which is great, but the hound in her has her chasing squirrels and any other small animals all the time! Today I got all ready to take her for a longer walk and bundled both of us up (she has a winter coat because her fur is short, haha). We got about halfway to where we were going and she turned around and started pulling me home. She really does hate the cold. In the summer I take her hiking, which is great for both of us but winter can be challenging.
Any other dog-lovers/owners here? She definitely helps my mood, that's for sure.
I have had my BMI checked and I am now in the overweight category and never was before. So it's an adjustment for me. BMI is kind of a frustrating measurement though because I feel like it is not really accurate about health. You can have a lot of muscle and be classified overweight - though I am not one of those people. I also try to not focus on the numbers because I have a tendency to get obsessive. I won't let myself own a scale and am just going by what I am told at the doctors or I will truly make myself crazy.
My mood seems a little better in the morning. Sometimes I think by Friday night I am just so drained that I get depressed but having a good night of sleep has helped a little.
I actually have everything needed to make that recipe ISB! Thanks! :)
BigBoyUK - Yep, my husband and I got her last year from a rescue agency. She is a big ol' mutt. She's part boxer, part beagle so she essentially looks like a hound dog with a bigger chest. She weighs about 60 pounds. She's a love bug and will cuddle all the tie, which is great, but the hound in her has her chasing squirrels and any other small animals all the time! Today I got all ready to take her for a longer walk and bundled both of us up (she has a winter coat because her fur is short, haha). We got about halfway to where we were going and she turned around and started pulling me home. She really does hate the cold. In the summer I take her hiking, which is great for both of us but winter can be challenging.
Any other dog-lovers/owners here? She definitely helps my mood, that's for sure.
I have had my BMI checked and I am now in the overweight category and never was before. So it's an adjustment for me. BMI is kind of a frustrating measurement though because I feel like it is not really accurate about health. You can have a lot of muscle and be classified overweight - though I am not one of those people. I also try to not focus on the numbers because I have a tendency to get obsessive. I won't let myself own a scale and am just going by what I am told at the doctors or I will truly make myself crazy.
My mood seems a little better in the morning. Sometimes I think by Friday night I am just so drained that I get depressed but having a good night of sleep has helped a little.Hmm I can see that but sometimes scales can help if you have a routine when you weigh your self and only do this once a week then adjustments can be made to your life style :) Yes Iam a dog lover and owner too. Have a beautiful Staffy Bull Terrier don't believe what the press says about them they aren't a dangerous breed atall infact they are love bugs too :) and are great with kids and that's why they are sometimes called the 'Nanny' Breed. But they aren't for the faint hearted or weak willed owner as they are head strong and need a firm but positive leader and she is now 10 years old is so gentle in every way but very playful too :) had her from 8 weeks old and started basic house rules at this age I can even put my hand in her bowl while she is eating and there's no aggression from hey why?
because I am the provider of her food and even this training done from day one, so important to start early on with training!! Cheers
Hmm I can see that but sometimes scales can help if you have a routine when you weigh your self and only do this once a week then adjustments can be made to your life style :) Yes Iam a dog lover and owner too. Have a beautiful Staffy Bull Terrier don't believe what the press says about them they aren't a dangerous breed atall infact they a love bugs too :) and are great with kids and that's why they are sometimes called the 'Nanny' Breed. But they aren't for the faint hearted or weak willed owner as they are head strong and need a firm but positive leader and she is now 10 years old is so gentle in every way but very playful too :) had her from 8 weeks old and started basic house rules at this age I can even put my hand in her bowl while she is eating and there's no aggression from hey why?
because I am the provider of her food and even this training was form day one, so important to start early on training!! Cheers
I agree completely! I have heard so many positive stories about the breed and it's really all about how a dog is raised I think. Any dog - golden retriever, lab - can learn to be aggressive. Yours sounds like a wonderful companion :)
I know what you are saying about the scale and measuring. I have been considering that my anxiety has some OCD traits though so some issues like that can really get to me. I would have to be really strict about it with myself (i.e. only weighing in weekly at a certain time) and I don't know if I trust myself to stick to that just yet.
I agree in regards to BMI. I'm a 'healthy' BMI but I'm jigglier than when I had a BMI of 24.7 and weighed 18 lbs heavier! I feel like those 18lbs must also have included a bit muscle as I no longer have those line things you have on the side or your thighs. I've no tone on my thighs whatsoever (unless I tense but think that's cheating ha).
I agree completely! I have heard so many positive stories about the breed and it's really all about how a dog is raised I think. Any dog - golden retriever, lab - can learn to be aggressive. Yours sounds like a wonderful companion :)
I know what you are saying about the scale and measuring. I have been considering that my anxiety has some OCD traits though so some issues like that can really get to me. I would have to be really strict about it with myself (i.e. only weighing in weekly at a certain time) and I don't know if I trust myself to stick to that just yet. It's like when I see them on the streets even if I haven't seen a particular one before I am a magnet and must go and say hello never met a bad one yet unless they are owned by young lads and you can see the difference when they rear up and get aggressive I don't go any where near them. but most other older owners have well brought up staffs and I will make a huge fuss of them and look at the body laungauge of the dog then get squat down and get showered with kisses :)
Ha one person walked passed and said you should never do that as they can turn in a instant Yeah right I have meet many staffs from the older owners that have them and haven't met a bad one yet :) So part of my recovery is to meet other dog owners too on here for walks and general dog chat too. I believe it will happen for me too!! Cheers
That's really awesome that you approach them so comfortably! I haven't met a bad one either, honestly. Only one dog has ever come after my dog aggressively and that dog was a boxer (which mine is half boxer anyway, have met plenty of nice ones). That was pretty scary. The usual owner typically takes the dog to the other side of the street because he knows his dog isn't very friendly, but somebody else was walking it that day and it charged at my girl. I have to say she held her own lol and luckily neither of them were hurt, but they both are strong dogs so neither of us owners wanted to get in the middle and get hurt. Eventually I got a hold of her leash and was able to pull her away.
Do you have a dog park near you? I found that was a really nice way to get out with her and meet other dog owners nearby. It was a good group of regulars who were there repeatedly, so you got to know each other.
I agree in regards to BMI. I'm a 'healthy' BMI but I'm jigglier than when I had a BMI of 24.7 and weighed 18 lbs heavier! I feel like those 18lbs must also have included a bit muscle as I no longer have those line things you have on the side or your thighs. I've no tone on my thighs whatsoever (unless I tense but think that's cheating ha). You mean bingo wings Lol ;)
---------- Post added at 14:46 ---------- Previous post was at 14:33 ----------
That's really awesome that you approach them so comfortably! I haven't met a bad one either, honestly. Only one dog has ever come after my dog aggressively and that dog was a boxer (which mine is half boxer anyway, have met plenty of nice ones). That was pretty scary. The usual owner typically takes the dog to the other side of the street because he knows his dog isn't very friendly, but somebody else was walking it that day and it charged at my girl. I have to say she held her own lol and luckily neither of them were hurt, but they both are strong dogs so neither of us owners wanted to get in the middle and get hurt. Eventually I got a hold of her leash and was able to pull her away.
Do you have a dog park near you? I found that was a really nice way to get out with her and meet other dog owners nearby. It was a good group of regulars who were there repeatedly, so you got to know each other.
Oh My story similar to yours was at a dog park but after what happened to my girl had never gone back. And sadly it was a puppy staff and its mother any way my staff was off leash as normal picking up some nice scents along the way up came the puppy probably over 12 weeks old an bit my dogs ear she warned it off but she didn't bite back the pup ran off and along came the mother head as big as foot ball tried to fight my girl so I had to take a chance
and got as close as I could to it and growled back at it it ran off too LOL
the owners was to girls in their late teens WTF ??? And said to me your dog shouldn't have been of it's lead Er I snapped back and said my dog was minding it's own business now do one. And have never been back to that dog park terrible :eek: So like I said earlier it's usually the younger owners that are the problem. Cheers
Carrie8484
14-01-17, 17:36
If I'm honest, what I REALLY want is a life where I never find another worrisome symptom on my body. I want a promise that I am going to live to age 90, in perfect health, and then get hit by a bus and die instantly.
But that is not realistic, of course.
So yes, i suppose i do want- or NEED- to try and recover from my health anxiety.
It is ruining my life, so much worse than any physical illness ever has.
I feel like this.
I'm trying to accept that the best way to live is in the here and now.
I can't control whether or not I get cancer (my biggest fear) but as 1 in 2 people get it these days, there is no hiding from it really, so all I can do is try and focus on the NOW rather than next year/5/10 years time, and appreciate being alive and working on what is going right for me currently x
I think you have absolutely the right approach here, Carrie. This thread is good because it is a positive one whereas the HA board on here is a nightmare and so unhelpful.
I also think that focussing away from the doom and gloom of the anxiety/depression spectrum and sharing interests is a refreshing change for the better.
I think you have absolutely the right approach here, Carrie. This thread is good because it is a positive one whereas the HA board on here is a nightmare and so unhelpful.
I also think that focussing away from the doom and gloom of the anxiety/depression spectrum and sharing interests is a refreshing change for the better. Hey thank you I actually feel I have helped some members I didn't even think I would get replies to it :) Cheers
It's a really good, helpful and supportive thread,BigBoy and that's what we need on NMP. There's far too much negativity and enabling elsewhere.
I feel like this.
I'm trying to accept that the best way to live is in the here and now.
I can't control whether or not I get cancer (my biggest fear) but as 1 in 2 people get it these days, there is no hiding from it really, so all I can do is try and focus on the NOW rather than next year/5/10 years time, and appreciate being alive and working on what is going right for me currently x
This has been a struggle for me too. Cancer is also my biggest fear. If we are going to get it, we are going to get it. All we can do is be smart (i.e. annual check-ups, sunscreen, etc) and live in the moment because right now we don't have it! So why waste that time?
Carrie8484
14-01-17, 19:42
I agree, well done big boy for starting this thread , it's getting some nice support already .
I hope this year is a good one for you, I think you're getting off on the right foot with it x
And pulisa I will pm you , not been on much the past few weeks xx
---------- Post added at 19:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:39 ----------
This has been a struggle for me too. Cancer is also my biggest fear. If we are going to get it, we are going to get it. All we can do is be smart (i.e. annual check-ups, sunscreen, etc) and live in the moment because right now we don't have it! So why waste that time?
I agree. It's out of our control re cancer. We can be scared for the rest of our lives or we can live for the 'now' which we both seem to agree is what we should do ! Let's give it our best shot this year x
Good to see you back, Carrie and you've made great inroads into your HA! xx
I agree, well done big boy for starting this thread , it's getting some nice support already .
I hope this year is a good one for you, I think you're getting off on the right foot with it x
And pulisa I will pm you , not been on much the past few weeks xx
---------- Post added at 19:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:39 ----------
I agree. It's out of our control re cancer. We can be scared for the rest of our lives or we can live for the 'now' which we both seem to agree is what we should do ! Let's give it our best shot this year x Thank you both
for your kind comments I will work out my fee later lol !!
And Carrie You are doing great on your HA too keep going. BTW sent you a pm regarding new pen pal from Portugal Written a very long post and any one else care to look at it seems too genuine for words Cheers
I feel like this.
I'm trying to accept that the best way to live is in the here and now.
I can't control whether or not I get cancer (my biggest fear) but as 1 in 2 people get it these days, there is no hiding from it really, so all I can do is try and focus on the NOW rather than next year/5/10 years time, and appreciate being alive and working on what is going right for me currently x
Beautiful.
When things REALLY get on top of me, and sometimes they still do, I focus on the next 5 minutes. (If you've ever looked at the board behind me in my videos, you'll see a great example!!)
Struggling to sleep? 5 minutes of just letting go of every thought and emotion.
Need a break? 5 minutes. Cup of tea and a biscuit, and nothing else. Just enjoy that....
Need motivation? 5 minutes of listening to a great song, or video on youtube.
May right a book on it one day. May have already started. :winks:
Carrie8484
14-01-17, 21:07
that's a great bit of advice jason!
spending 5 minutes to 'ground' yourself, district yourself, or even appreciate what you have right now, this moment, and knowing everything negative is temporary no matter how bad it may feel at the time - can be great comfort/help and can really help you re focus.
my HA is going to be an uphill struggle but so what .. i have to start somewhere! taking one day at a time, enjoy the small things in life - going for coffee on my own, listening to music i haven't heard for years, taking a drive to the park and breathing in the fresh air - even watching the birds in my garden. i want to soak it all in. that's all i'm going to do rather than get overwhelmed with my health, work, the future...
and surrounded by lovely folk like you it will be much nicer to do xx
Catherine S
15-01-17, 01:00
That's really good advice SLA :) 5 minutes is enough time to distract and divert negative thoughts and feelings.
ISB
Yeah, I use that with depression too. I sometimes wake up and dread going into work, feel like I will never get through the day. I have 7-8 hour long appointments back to back every day with 5 minutes between each. But I try to break it down and just focus on one appointment at a time. Eventually I get to the end of the day.
In other news I may be in for a promotion, which will change my role a little. I will have about 1/3 of the appointments I see now, which will be a huge relief. I will be more in a managerial role and that has it's own challenges, which I think I am up for. I'm hoping I can make some positive changes in my workplace to improve health of the employees. I was supposed to get the formal offer Friday, but the person was out sick who does it. So this should happen tomorrow officially.
Yeah, I use that with depression too. I sometimes wake up and dread going into work, feel like I will never get through the day. I have 7-8 hour long appointments back to back every day with 5 minutes between each. But I try to break it down and just focus on one appointment at a time. Eventually I get to the end of the day.
In other news I may be in for a promotion, which will change my role a little. I will have about 1/3 of the appointments I see now, which will be a huge relief. I will be more in a managerial role and that has it's own challenges, which I think I am up for. I'm hoping I can make some positive changes in my workplace to improve health of the employees. I was supposed to get the formal offer Friday, but the person was out sick who does it. So this should happen tomorrow officially. Hey that's good :) Really good luck tomorrow for you and you will do fine I m sure let us know how you get on!!!XX
That sounds very exciting and must be well deserved! Hope you get the official news tomorrow!
Thanks!! I'm feeling good about it.
Clydesdale Epona
16-01-17, 01:34
I just thought i'd give a little update on myself as i had my third therapy session this week after waiting three-four weeks over the christmas period,
i'm coping well, my insomnia ain't dead but it's reducing. my care for my wellbeing is also slowly improving and i'm eating solidish food twice a day as well as my shakes which is also great, i'm seeing a comedian on the 24th, i bit the bullet and decided to go after all which is inspiring for me, i've gotten more work done today than i have in months so i'm really chuffed, i haven't googled in 2 months and lastly my therapist told me i need to practice some sillyness because i spend most of my time on others so this week is all about me, i'm supposed to do whatever i want and actually pay attention to my wellbeing which i'm finding the hardest at the moment but we're getting there.
with strength and hope we will get there x :)
It sounds like you really are taking a lot of steps towards your own wellbeing, Aiden01. I'm glad you are finding therapy helpful! And not googling in 2 months is awesome - believe me, I know how hard that can be. Sometimes it is easier to help others than focus on ourselves, but in the end we are the ones who are suffering that way when it gets to be too much.
mezzaninedoor
16-01-17, 10:46
Its great to hear of success stories in play
We often hear so much about the tribulations BUT some of us are always succeeding to some degree
Catherine S
16-01-17, 13:12
Todays health tips for mind and body....Recipe idea No.2
Instead of mashed potatoes, try mashed cauliflower. Just separate the florets and boil them in chicken or veggie stock instead of plain water, and no need to add extra salt as the stock is seasoning enough. Drain really well, then add just a little butter and mash with a fork. Very tasty and not so heavy as potatoes. If you can't stand cauliflour why not try sweet potato mash.
Also, blow the cobwebs off those old fitness dvds and have a laugh while you have a go. Or if you're up for a walk get out there and breathe in a bit of mother nature.
Keep the faith folks :yesyes:
ISB ☺ x
Thanks for the tips :) I've heard buffalo cauliflower can be substituted for buffalo chicken, although haven't tried it myself yet. I have been increasing my fruits and veggies. I love snacking so I'm trying to snack on blueberries etc instead of leftover Christmas candy! Those Reese's cups get me though...
Busy day ahead. I'm trying to approach it with a positive attitude instead of dread. I'm going to take on this busy day and kick its butt.
Halfway through and I got the official offer for a promotion! It goes into effect one week from today. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited.
I am so glad this thread have took off :) But I feel so rough today don't want to talk about on this thread so will open another thread up l8r going to need loads of support TIA :)
Thanks! Hope you're ok, Bigboyuk, I'll see if I can find your other thread.
Catherine S
17-01-17, 01:11
Swgrl really good news, well deserved I would think too, and hopefully a little less stress :yesyes:
Bboy, hope you're ok too. As Swgrl said, we'll look out for your thread :huh:
ISB x
Congrats on your promotion!
And hope things aren't going too bad bigboy.
Hi Folks just posted the new thread under Virtual Hugs not very good at the URL thing as such yet It's called Been Run Out Again By Member on Here. Thank You :)
Thanks, Keekee! I'll try to have a look, BigboyUK. At work so apologies if I am not able to respond too well from my phone.
Thanks, Keekee! I'll try to have a look, BigboyUK. At work so apologies if I am not able to respond too well from my phone. That's ok I understand to well regarding phone and forum(s) postings its a nightmare so no worries :)
Hey all, just checking in. I thought this was a nice thread for some motivation! I'm doing alright. It's been a light work week for me, so that has helped. I got selected for Jury Duty and actually had to serve on the trial, so I had a few days out of the office.
Tomorrow it's back to work and then the march in Washington DC Saturday. I'm excited but my anxiety is ramping up too ... crowds, what if something happens, long bus ride down and back, etc. I'm trying to focus on the positive that this is something I believe in and am proud to be a part of.
You obviously truly want to be a part of this march and it's something you will be able to look back on with pride and gratitude that you were there..Of course there are risks but there are risks with everything and security will be high. You will have an experience to remember despite the niggling anticipatory anxiety..I'm sure you'll tell us all about it when you can and have a memorable day tomorrow!
mezzaninedoor
20-01-17, 10:57
I really hope the march goes well and makes an impression on the powers that be.
Do tell us tales of the march afterwards, would be great to hear, I haven't been on a march since 'rock against racism' in the early 80's !!!!
Thanks, I will! My little state is sending 80 buses of women and I'm sure some men too. I've never done one and want to be more involved! I'll be going with my sister, which is good and bad, as she has the potential to kick my anxiety up too ... as families so often do.
I really hope you had a very positive experience and good on you for getting involved.
Yes from me too good luck and get those banners high in the sky LOL :) Cheers
I'm back and it was an amazing experience, even more humbling seeing cities across the globe marching in solidarity with us. My sister and I took a 7 hour bus to D.C. and my state sent about 80 buses of people. It was so crowded and hectic but so worth it. Even in the crowds everybody was supportive, polite, happy to be there. I got a chance to talk to my state representatives and that was a cool experience too. People of all backgrounds, ages, shapes and colors celebrating diversity.
Exactly right GP, the nature of HA is that we tend to jump too far ahead to what might be wrong, but in reality, if the unthinkable was to actually happen we deal with it, as has been proven so many times.
I was talking to someone on here just today, who's anxiety previously about her heart was through the roof. She'd had some test results that indicated something wasn't quite right and was referred to a cardiologist who, when presented with her results was able to reassure her that it's really not as bad as it seems. He explained everything to her and suggested a few more tests and she relayed this information to us quite calmly, compared to the panic of not knowing and living with her anxiety filled imagination.
What i'm trying to say, probably badly, is that we are the strongest people around, we have to be...look at what we have to cope with every day. We feel like crap most days but we get up and face the day with what little strength we have. We carry on because we have no choice, it's all we can do and we do, day after day and night after night. I mean let's not mess about here, we're bloody fab!
Cath ☺ x That's so true Cath and it doesn't matter what MH condition(s) we have to put up with we are brilliant to have survived each day :yesyes: Cheers
Right ok I have spoke to changes and you just call in at the Stoke Office they also do help with hoarding and can put me in touch to get practicable too :) Which isn't a cop out by any means just need some help so may be this is this start of something new iam done with the negative thread may even delete soon then it's gone for ever :) Cheers
Catherine S
23-01-17, 14:15
Great news Bboy, it's really sounding positive and I hope it really does mean changes are happening. I'm all for healing the body as well as the mind so.....
My healthy recipe for today comes courtesy of Mr Nigel Slater. Peppers & Tomato Bake.... Recipe No.3
(Serves 2 - oven temp UK 180c / Gas 4. Oven temp farenheit approx 325)
2 large red peppers cut lengthways and scraping out seeds
4 cherry tomatoes halved
2 cloves garlic sliced
4 tablespoons of olive oil
Small bunch of basil
Salt & pepper (optional)
Feta cheese crumbled
Lay the peppers like little boats in an ovenproof dish. Place the tomato halves in each boat along with garlic slices, chopped basil leaves, olive oil and salt and pepper to taste if required. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes, until the peppers soften. Crumble the feta over and bake for further 10-15 mins.
Can be eaten as is, or with rice, pasta or salad.
ISBxx
:yesyes: xThank you Carnation appreciated X
---------- Post added at 15:19 ---------- Previous post was at 15:14 ----------
Great news Bboy, it's really sounding positive and I hope it really does mean changes are happening. I'm all for healing the body as well as the mind so.....
My healthy recipe for today comes courtesy of Mr Nigel Slater....Peppers & Tomato Bake
(Serves 2 - oven temp UK 180c / Gas 4. Oven temp farenheit approx 325)
2 large red peppers cut lengthways and scraping out seeds
4 cherry tomatoes halved
2 cloves garlic sliced
4 tablespoons of olive oil
Small bunch of basil
Salt & pepper (optional)
Feta cheese crumbled
Lay the peppers like little boats in an ovenproof dish. Place the tomato halves in each boat along with garlic slices, chopped basil leaves, olive oil and salt and pepper to taste if required. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes, until the peppers soften. Crumble the feta over and bake for further 10-15 mins.
Can be eaten as is, or with rice, pasta or salad.
ISBxx Yes me too They recognise hoarding as a illness/condition and said on the phone they know it can take over your life so sounds really good I really hope so :) Hey may try this recipe seems simple enough to do and would cook it in my Halageon oven much faster warm up time haven't used my convential oven now for over 3 years waste too much time and money :) Thanks ISB X
Catherine S
23-01-17, 15:48
Oh you have a halageon? Cool. I've often wondered about getting one, if they're good or not so good. I believe they cook almost everything. Can you give a bit of info about it BB? Thanks.
ISB :) x
Oh you have a halageon? Cool. I've often wondered about getting one, if they're good or not so good. I believe they cook almost everything. Can you give a bit of info about it BB? Thanks.
ISB :) x They are fab and yes you can cook a full roast dinner and all the trimmings too :) They have a fan built in so even cooking all round and come with many accessoires too like a glove some have a metal extension ring so a 11 litre oven can become 15 litre meaning you can cook more they even come with cook books and cooking dishes like a steamer dish etc so do shop around. including Aldi and Lidl so if you shop there pick up the special buys book type mag that comes out every week Hey they even have a cleaning mode too. HTH do get one so many pluses to get one!! Cheers XX
---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:41 ----------
I Have deleted that negative thread it had to go :) Thanks to all who offered support Cheers XX
Catherine S
23-01-17, 17:33
Thanks for info BB, and we'll done for moving on :yesyes:
ISB ☺
Thanks for info BB, and we'll done for moving on :yesyes:
ISB ☺My Pleasure ISB and yes one has to move on :) Cheers
Going today to first Changes meeting at 1:30 today so will post here about it later :) Cheers
Nice to hear, BBUk!! How was it?
I haven't been on much this week. Been working long hours transitioning to my new promotion while still working my prior role. Hopefully next week is a little easier. I am impressed at how I am handling the stress, although at this point in the week I am drained.
One more day.
Hope your meeting went OK bigboy.
Nice to hear, BBUk!! How was it?
I haven't been on much this week. Been working long hours transitioning to my new promotion while still working my prior role. Hopefully next week is a little easier. I am impressed at how I am handling the stress, although at this point in the week I am drained.
One more day. Hi swgr109 It went well for the first one got there 1/2 hr late but wasn't too worried quite a small group as well I normally don't have a problem with larger groups, but thought I will try and go to a meeting that has a few people attending. only 4 ppl and 1 coordinator :) It's a Peer Support Group so it doesn't matter if some one has Anxiety and some one else has Depression And you can talk if you want when asked but you don't have to :) and you each have to set a goal for the next meeting, mine was,to be at the next one :)
At the end we are recited the Senerity Prayer as used by various 12 step programmes groups. After the meeting had ended went out side and one of the members was there was having a smoke, offered me one it was one out of a packet which I don't like so I said no thanks but we chatted for a while
So yes it went well for my first one. There's another meeting this afternoon in
the same building and it's still a PSG one too :) I may go.As for my other problem it looks as though there still could be some praticible help with it I really hope so as I cant not attempt to do this on my own :) Thanks for asking! Glad you are getting through the week ok cant be easy playing 2 roles
but yes last day today :) Cheers
mezzaninedoor
27-01-17, 09:43
Glad things are going well. Its good to hear of success in getting better ........
That's great bigboy, yes making sure you go next week is a good goal too. It's also great that you don't have to speak if you don't want to.
Glad things are going well. Its good to hear of success in getting better ........ It is and it's one step nearer to where I want to be :) Thank you
---------- Post added at 11:04 ---------- Previous post was at 11:02 ----------
That's great bigboy, yes making sure you go next week is a good goal too. It's also great that you don't have to speak if you don't want to. Yes moving forward now >>>>> :) They even have social groups too! And they are open to suggestions for new social events!!! Thank you KeeKee
Carrie8484
27-01-17, 15:43
great to hear your progress Dave!
keep going my friend x
great to hear your progress Dave!
keep going my friend x I am going to Carrie to many years of loneliness need a change now :) XX
Catherine S
27-01-17, 18:51
Well done Bboy, great news and I hope it leads to some good friendships too :yesyes:
Healthy Recipe for today is....Mackerel and Potato Salad (serves 2 - 558 calories per portion).....Recipe No.4
Put 175g of new potatoes, skin on, into a saucepan and gently boil for around 15 minutes or until they are fork-soft. Let them cool, then slice thickly.
Take 200g smoked mackerel fillets, remove the skin and flake into a bowl. Add the potatoes and 4 finely sliced spring onions, and 140g small cooked beetroot cut into wedges.
In a separate bowl hand whisk 2 tablespoons of olive oil with the juice of 1 lemon and a little salt & pepper, then pour this over the mackerel salad, toss together and sprinkle over the zest of half the lemon.
You can also sprinkle seeds such as caraway or sunflower, or chopped walnuts etc.
Enjoy :)
ISB x
Carrie8484
27-01-17, 19:01
That recipe sounds nice ISB
I may give it a go next week when im back from my conference.
Thanks
Do you enjoy cooking Dave ? I like to cook when i have time and time and im not rushed or stressed (not often at the minute sadly)
Catherine S
27-01-17, 19:07
Thanks Carrie, I've put a few on the thread so far. Hopefully others will share some of their favourites too. Nothing too complicated, just easy to make and full of goodness for tired minds and stressed out bodies :)
ISB x
Well done Bboy, great news and I hope it leads to some good friendships too :yesyes:
Healthy Recipe for today is....Mackerel and Potato Salad (serves 2 - 558 calories per portion)
Put 175g of new potatoes, skin on, into a saucepan and gently boil for around 15 minutes or until they are fork-soft. Let them cool, then slice thickly.
Take 200g smoked mackerel fillets, remove the skin and flake into a bowl. Add the potatoes and 4 finely sliced spring onions, and 140g small cooked beetroot cut into wedges.
In a separate bowl hand whisk 2 tablespoons of olive oil with the juice of 1 lemon and a little salt & pepper, then pour this over the mackerel salad, toss together and sprinkle over the zest of half the lemon.
You can also sprinkle seeds such as caraway or sunflower, or chopped walnuts etc.
Enjoy :)
ISB x Thank you ISB I am hoping this too and much needed help to declutter my house the coordinator is trying to put me in touch with a CPN but would have thought I would need dr referral for that. But I will keep pushing for some help on this. There was a good doc n last night it's called 'Tonight' on ITV usually a couple of things are covered one was hoarding the other was waste food not only thrown away by us but by supermarkets etc so well worth catching up on the ITV Hub :)Cheers
---------- Post added at 19:21 ---------- Previous post was at 19:15 ----------
That recipe sounds nice ISB
I may give it a go next week when im back from my conference.
Thanks
Do you enjoy cooking Dave ? I like to cook when i have time and time and im not rushed or stressed (not often at the minute sadly) I do cook everynight using my Halogen oven but it's mostly frozen stuff still better then Mc Donalds etc :)Will have try that first recipe that was posted Prehaps in the title edit at the end Recipe#2 etc so when members check via email notifications it will be shown Just a idea :) Cheers
Catherine S
27-01-17, 19:27
I had a community psychiatric nurse many years ago, for help with my health anxiety which became much worse during withdrawal from tranquilisers and I found it hard to be outside of the house. His name was Tony and he helped me so much in my recovery. I still remember alot of his wise words today.
ISB :)
---------- Post added at 19:27 ---------- Previous post was at 19:24 ----------
Yes good idea re the recipe edit, will do
I had a community psychiatric nurse many years ago, for help with my health anxiety which became much worse during withdrawal from tranquilisers and I found it hard to be outside of the house. His name was Tony and he helped me so much in my recovery. I still remember alot of his wise words today.
ISB :)
---------- Post added at 19:27 ---------- Previous post was at 19:24 ----------
Yes good idea re the recipe edit, will do How ill do you have to be before you get one? I cant see changes putting me in contact with a CPN!! Cheers
That sounds like a really nice group, BBUk! I'm glad you went and plan on returning. Sounds like a nice group of people who get what it's like to struggle sometimes but want to make changes.
In the USA there are home health care agencies that a doctor can prescribe and insurance sometimes covers - it depends on the insurance. You can have a visiting nurse come and help with your meds, check on you, etc. Your doctor has to determine you need it and work with your insurance.
Glad to hear of your progress Bigboyuk :yesyes:
Catherine S
28-01-17, 00:02
Bboy, I think at that time my doctor referred me to the mental health team because of me having difficulty leaving the house, and the CPN came to the house because I couldn't face going out. My friends took my children to school and picked them up, and my ex did the shopping. But if I think if I was able to leave the house I doubt if I would've been allocated a CPN.
It took about 18 months to get over withdrawal from the tranquilisers, and then later when I was well enough I became a volunteer for MIND, helping others to get through the same withdrawal, both over the phone and house visits.
ISB ☺
Wow, ISB I give you a lot of credit for getting to where you are now and also being a volunteer. People who have been through it can be so helpful to others.
---------- Post added at 19:51 ---------- Previous post was at 19:48 ----------
This is a recipe for vegetarian chili (from allrecipes.com) - I have made it a few times and it is really good! I'm not a vegetarian but it was quick to buy ingredients and dump in the crock pot... and I thought it might be healthy.
1 (19 ounce) can black bean soup
1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1 (16 ounce) can vegetarian baked beans
1 (14.5 ounce) can chopped tomatoes in puree
1 (15 ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained
1 onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon chili powder, or to taste
1 tablespoon dried parsley
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon dried basil
In a slow cooker, combine black bean soup, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, baked beans, tomatoes, corn, onion, bell pepper and celery. Season with garlic, chili powder, parsley, oregano and basil. Cook for at least two hours on High.
Catherine S
28-01-17, 01:01
Thanks swgrl, and for the recipe too...it's my kind of meal with either rice or a jacket potato with sour cream on top :D
ISB x
Yes and cheddar cheese!!!
That sounds like a really nice group, BBUk! I'm glad you went and plan on returning. Sounds like a nice group of people who get what it's like to struggle sometimes but want to make changes.
In the USA there are home health care agencies that a doctor can prescribe and insurance sometimes covers - it depends on the insurance. You can have a visiting nurse come and help with your meds, check on you, etc. Your doctor has to determine you need it and work with your insurance.
Thanks swgr109 yes what ever the condition is it's a mixed bag :) I am going to have to look in to it a bit further but will ask the coordinator next week Thanks again for asking!
---------- Post added at 09:50 ---------- Previous post was at 09:47 ----------
Glad to hear of your progress Bigboyuk :yesyes: Thanks Carnation, I should have gone back ages ago in hind sight too many wasted years have gone, can get those back :eek: Cheers
---------- Post added at 09:57 ---------- Previous post was at 09:50 ----------
Bboy, I think at that time my doctor referred me to the mental health team because of me having difficulty leaving the house, and the CPN came to the house because I couldn't face going out. My friends took my children to school and picked them up, and my ex did the shopping. But if I think if I was able to leave the house I doubt if I would've been allocated a CPN.
It took about 18 months to get over withdrawal from the tranquilisers, and then later when I was well enough I became a volunteer for MIND, helping others to get through the same withdrawal, both over the phone and house visits.
ISB ☺ Yes but doesn't CPN's deal with other MH problems too? Like I know in May of last year dr's now have to recognise hoarding as a illness/condition saw it on a documentary! Cheers
I don't know what the UK uses but we use DSM V to diagnose mental health conditions and Hoarding Disorder is definitely a recognized condition now.
I don't know what the UK uses but we use DSM V to diagnose mental health conditions and Hoarding Disorder is definitely a recognized condition now. I don't know either so may be my coordinator will know? Wasted too much of my life trying to sort out this problem,prehaps things will start moving along a bit now :)
I would have thought that you would need to be referred by your GP to a Community Mental Health Team in order to be assessed for a CPN but things might have changed now?
Well need to get this thread going again!!! Any way second meeting at changes a few more returning members who hadn't been for a few weeks so 6 this time with admin from changes and a coordinator and a visiting staff member from is it Changing Minds? Any way I decided to speak when I was asked if I wanted too and felt so much better :) after wards considering I felt cr@p all this morning and getting to know people better there and one person is willing to meet in a local café for a coffee next week:D
:yesyes: Cheers
Congratulations on sticking with it and speaking up this week! It can be scary at first, but I definitely think it can be pretty powerful when we feel ready. Let us know how coffee goes :)
I agree, we should keep this going. During the week I have been really busy and not on here as much adjusting to my new role at work. I tend to show up more on the weekends (and Thursday AM, as I head to work later). But it's a great place to really be positive and focus on making changes.
I have not been sticking with eating healthy ... I hate to say it! There have been some get togethers with friends that get in the way and I hate cooking. My husband is a better cook than me, so when he is home, I don't really do as well as I should. That should be my goal this weekend - try to actually cook something once in a while.
Congratulations on sticking with it and speaking up this week! It can be scary at first, but I definitely think it can be pretty powerful when we feel ready. Let us know how coffee goes :)
I agree, we should keep this going. During the week I have been really busy and not on here as much adjusting to my new role at work. I tend to show up more on the weekends (and Thursday AM, as I head to work later). But it's a great place to really be positive and focus on making changes.
I have not been sticking with eating healthy ... I hate to say it! There have been some get togethers with friends that get in the way and I hate cooking. My husband is a better cook than me, so when he is home, I don't really do as well as I should. That should be my goal this weekend - try to actually cook something once in a while. Thanks I will certainly do that :) As for cooking I do this every night. And think you should really have a go even if it's something really simple you actually might enjoy it:yesyes: Set this is a goal as changes every week gets every member to set a goal each week :) You can do this! Believe in your self:D
Thanks I will certainly do that :) As for cooking I do this every night. And think you should really have a go even if it's something really simple you actually might enjoy it:yesyes: Set this is a goal as changes every week gets every member to set a goal each week :) You can do this! Believe in your self:D
Thank you, I really do need to and to follow through. It's easy to just order out or eat crap, but I will probably feel physically better if I do in addition to emotionally.
Thank you, I really do need to and to follow through. It's easy to just order out or eat crap, but I will probably feel physically better if I do in addition to emotionally. That's ok:) Yes know what you mean,fraid it's this mad modern world we live in, which I don't really care for a lot. Try one of those recipes that have been posted on this thread! Good luck!! Cheers
Excellent 3rd meeting and again some new returning members who all had their own stories to tell really good and on the 21 Feb a social do at the cotton mill pub for a meal so looking forward to that and there will be no changes talk there :):mad::yesyes:
MyNameIsTerry
04-02-17, 06:04
I don't know what the UK uses but we use DSM V to diagnose mental health conditions and Hoarding Disorder is definitely a recognized condition now.
WHO ICD- 10 like the US. Hoarding isn't considered specific, it's under OCD. I've never seen many threads about it here but OCD UK will have plenty of covet for it.
(Just noticed this from Bigboyuk's link about his Changes meeting, so I haven't read the rest)
---------- Post added at 06:04 ---------- Previous post was at 06:01 ----------
I would have thought that you would need to be referred by your GP to a Community Mental Health Team in order to be assessed for a CPN but things might have changed now?
We're in the same city, pulisa, it's IAPT or CMHT here so you are right. Some GP's have mental health services being set up but I doubt they are CPN. Unless it's changed in the last few years?
I know Changes are connected to Healthy Minds. Unless things have changed, Healthy Minds being the IAPT just sign you out once therapy is done so it's left with the GP.
Who knows but if Dave gets help, hopefully someone can get him there. :yesyes
WHO ICD- 10 like the US. Hoarding isn't considered specific, it's under OCD. I've never seen many threads about it here but OCD UK will have plenty of covet for it.
(Just noticed this from Bigboyuk's link about his Changes meeting, so I haven't read the rest)
---------- Post added at 06:04 ---------- Previous post was at 06:01 ----------
We're in the same city, pulisa, it's IAPT or CMHT here so you are right. Some GP's have mental health services being set up but I doubt they are CPN. Unless it's changed in the last few years?
I know Changes are connected to Healthy Minds. Unless things have changed, Healthy Minds being the IAPT just sign you out once therapy is done so it's left with the GP.
Who knows but if Dave gets help, hopefully someone can get him there. :yesyes Well the post is above you I know it's quite short but it was extremely helpful to say the least. Why not CPN Terry? I know some one I know has a CPN currently so wether it's a funding or future funding problem I don't know, but I Have asked changes for specific help with my hoarding and realise these things can take a while to set up so I am going to be patient on this :) Cheers
MyNameIsTerry
04-02-17, 10:22
Dave, it's just that IAPT providers have two grades (or did last I looked) and neither were nurses. A nurse can decide to become a therapist/councillor and go through the same training but there is no stipulation that IAPT workers are trained nurses. I've seen some go into therapy when I've looked around on registers.
So, CPN's work with the CMHT or they work on the psychiatric wards (like up at Bradwell).
It just means you get referred into the CMHT like pulisa says and this means you have access to what they call a multidisciplinary team. This is nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers & wellbeing people (I think).
CMHT's were originally for more serious stuff like schizophrenia, bipolar etc. They had to take on anxiety & depression but at a lower priority. Obviously if someone is under a section, this is their territory. IAPT came in as a way to help us but the cost was lesser trained people offering limited therapy, CBT being the main one. CMHT's are trained to offer lots of different therapies because they deal with the full range of mental health conditions.
I was once referred by my GP and the nurse said they would assess me quickly but then it's in the queue. Pursue what you need but don't pin everything on it as there are delays. You are already setting goals, I just mean don't stop to wait for them and do what is right for you. You could possibly fill in gaps with the Changes courses.
Dave, it's just that IAPT providers have two grades (or did last I looked) and neither were nurses. A nurse can decide to become a therapist/councillor and go through the same training but there is no stipulation that IAPT workers are trained nurses. I've seen some go into therapy when I've looked around on registers.
So, CPN's work with the CMHT or they work on the psychiatric wards (like up at Bradwell).
It just means you get referred into the CMHT like pulisa says and this means you have access to what they call a multidisciplinary team. This is nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers & wellbeing people (I think).
CMHT's were originally for more serious stuff like schizophrenia, bipolar etc. They had to take on anxiety & depression but at a lower priority. Obviously if someone is under a section, this is their territory. IAPT came in as a way to help us but the cost was lesser trained people offering limited therapy, CBT being the main one. CMHT's are trained to offer lots of different therapies because they deal with the full range of mental health conditions.
I was once referred by my GP and the nurse said they would assess me quickly but then it's in the queue. Pursue what you need but don't pin everything on it as there are delays. You are already setting goals, I just mean don't stop to wait for them and do what is right for you. You could possibly fill in gaps with the Changes courses. Yes I understand this a friend of mine who comes over for a couple of hrs on a saturday(really nice Guy) for a chat suffers for Schizophrenia has CPN wether the visit him at home or he goes to a centre for this I don't know, but would think it would depend on the patients needs etc?? So yes patience is virtue and will certain stick with changes for the long term as seems to be offering me what I am looking for too Cheers
MyNameIsTerry
04-02-17, 11:20
I think it was mentioned earlier about how they will come & support you. I remember one member here telling me her CPN worked on getting her out of the house and into shops & supermarkets. Some people go to see them but it's less constricted by rules like IAPT have where they expect agoraphobic patients to visit the offices.
I think that's really good. Therapy is good but it's hard facing things like this and having someone there can help. Also, I tended to put my goals off and I think we are more likely to force ourselves for others than ourselves. It's not just feeling shame either, it's that we are caring and don't want to let people down. Just like how we spring into action supporting someone but struggle with ourselves, if you know what I mean?
If you can get it though, go for it! It's all good help.
I think it was mentioned earlier about how they will come & support you. I remember one member here telling me her CPN worked on getting her out of the house and into shops & supermarkets. Some people go to see them but it's less constricted by rules like IAPT have where they expect agoraphobic patients to visit the offices.
I think that's really good. Therapy is good but it's hard facing things like this and having someone there can help. Also, I tended to put my goals off and I think we are more likely to force ourselves for others than ourselves. It's not just feeling shame either, it's that we are caring and don't want to let people down. Just like how we spring into action supporting someone but struggle with ourselves, if you know what I mean?
If you can get it though, go for it! It's all good help. I am not ashamed one bit asking for help it's the only way forward now for me. It's 2 fold it will help but it will also provide me with some much needed company too :) I absolutely know what you mean :) plus it takes you mind off things too while helping others. I will press on bit now and get a few chores done down stairs :) Cheers
Terry, it's so annoying here because we have to use both DSM V and ICD-10. I probably whined about that some other time on here. I don't know why we don't just get on board with just ICD-10 like everybody else. So we bill with the ICD -10 code, but also have to include the DSM V version. :doh: Usually they line up but not always.
I am glad you sound a bit better BigBoyUK than earlier this week. I hope you can find a good team to come out and help you. Some people with certain diagnoses here can get a mental health team that comes out (beyond just the nurse) but they only cover some more severe conditions. I wish there was more available.
I've been trying to be positive but I am feeling quite low lately. I have been super irritable and exhausted. I know my "time of the month" is coming any day now and it is probably that, but it just won't get here! I am not pregnant, have taken tests, so I am just annoyed now. I want to get it over with. Some people know I got off my birth control pill so we could try for a family a little while ago, but getting used to what I am like off that is really hard. I had been on it so long that this is like a rude awakening. Sorry for the men on here if that is too much info, I'm just getting fed up and want it to just show up and get it over with!
I'm having a hard time again with my sister too. I have written on here in the past about how she can be manipulative, needy, and downright mean sometimes to me. I have really increased my boundaries with her for my own good, but she's been going through a hard time lately. I have been reaching out to her just to be supportive (something she never does for me) and I feel like she is being manipulative again. For ex she never wants to just spend time with me, she wants to use me for a free babysitter. I will invite her over or ask if she wants to do something, then she will somehow twist it into her going and doing what she wants and leaving me with the kids. This isn't just sometimes, it is legit all the time. I haven't spent actual time with HER in years. Or she will ask questions in a way that doesn't give me an opportunity to say no, such as saying "Hey what are you doing today?" and I'll say "Nothing" and then she'll say "Will you babysit? I am dying! I can't handle it!" and then I feel like an ass if I say no. When we are together, it's always about her. I could go on ...
So yesterday I reached out to her because she is going through a lot with her job and offered to come over with wine so she can vent, etc. I have stopped doing this because she exhausts me. She said "I'm tired tonight, but how about tomorrow?" and I said sure, that's fine. And you guessed it, it turns into "Great, can you watch the kids so I can do a few things?" .... Last weekend we had a party scheduled for my dad's birthday, but he canceled it because of a stomach bug. She calls right away going "Hey are you home now that the party is canceled?" When I said yes, the first response is "Will you watch the kids so I can go to a movie?"
I love my nephews, I really do, but they aren't my kids. And yes, I want to start my own family, but that's different. Sometimes I just want to spend time with my sister and not just be valuable for what I can do for her. But when I said no in the past, she ripped me a new one and called me all these awful things, said I do nothing all day, just watch TV with my dog. She never apologized.
Sorry for the long rant. I just feel like she uses me and if I can't do what she wants, I am worthless to her. But then when I set a boundary and distance myself, I feel guilty. So I am going over to babysit today, but I am resentful for it because I asked her if SHE wanted to spend time together and she twisted it.
Terry, it's so annoying here because we have to use both DSM V and ICD-10. I probably whined about that some other time on here. I don't know why we don't just get on board with just ICD-10 like everybody else. So we bill with the ICD -10 code, but also have to include the DSM V version. :doh: Usually they line up but not always.
I am glad you sound a bit better BigBoyUK than earlier this week. I hope you can find a good team to come out and help you. Some people with certain diagnoses here can get a mental health team that comes out (beyond just the nurse) but they only cover some more severe conditions. I wish there was more available.
I've been trying to be positive but I am feeling quite low lately. I have been super irritable and exhausted. I know my "time of the month" is coming any day now and it is probably that, but it just won't get here! I am not pregnant, have taken tests, so I am just annoyed now. I want to get it over with. Some people know I got off my birth control pill so we could try for a family a little while ago, but getting used to what I am like off that is really hard. I had been on it so long that this is like a rude awakening. Sorry for the men on here if that is too much info, I'm just getting fed up and want it to just show up and get it over with!
I'm having a hard time again with my sister too. I have written on here in the past about how she can be manipulative, needy, and downright mean sometimes to me. I have really increased my boundaries with her for my own good, but she's been going through a hard time lately. I have been reaching out to her just to be supportive (something she never does for me) and I feel like she is being manipulative again. For ex she never wants to just spend time with me, she wants to use me for a free babysitter. I will invite her over or ask if she wants to do something, then she will somehow twist it into her going and doing what she wants and leaving me with the kids. This isn't just sometimes, it is legit all the time. I haven't spent actual time with HER in years. Or she will ask questions in a way that doesn't give me an opportunity to say no, such as saying "Hey what are you doing today?" and I'll say "Nothing" and then she'll say "Will you babysit? I am dying! I can't handle it!" and then I feel like an ass if I say no. When we are together, it's always about her. I could go on ...
So yesterday I reached out to her because she is going through a lot with her job and offered to come over with wine so she can vent, etc. I have stopped doing this because she exhausts me. She said "I'm tired tonight, but how about tomorrow?" and I said sure, that's fine. And you guessed it, it turns into "Great, can you watch the kids so I can do a few things?" .... Last weekend we had a party scheduled for my dad's birthday, but he canceled it because of a stomach bug. She calls right away going "Hey are you home now that the party is canceled?" When I said yes, the first response is "Will you watch the kids so I can go to a movie?"
I love my nephews, I really do, but they aren't my kids. And yes, I want to start my own family, but that's different. Sometimes I just want to spend time with my sister and not just be valuable for what I can do for her. But when I said no in the past, she ripped me a new one and called me all these awful things, said I do nothing all day, just watch TV with my dog. She never apologized.
Sorry for the long rant. I just feel like she uses me and if I can't do what she wants, I am worthless to her. But then when I set a boundary and distance myself, I feel guilty. So I am going over to babysit today, but I am resentful for it because I asked her if SHE wanted to spend time together and she twisted it.Hi Iam actually feeling miles better not just a bit :) Interesting story re your sister we actually had a exact same story in the meeting yesterday the only difference was it was mother and son He wont help him self and mum has had enough of it So I was surprized by the coordinators advice let him get on with it on his own so I spoke out and said well it is a family member blood is thicker than water but looking at it the coordinator advice was right you are going to have to start looking after you now :) Cheers
Hi Iam actually feeling miles better not just a bit :) Interesting story re your sister we actually had a exact same story in the meeting yesterday the only difference was it was mother and son He wont help him self and mum has had enough of it So I was surprized by the coordinators advice let him get on with it on his own so I spoke out and said well it is a family member blood is thicker than water but looking at it the coordinator advice was right you are going to have to start looking after you now :) Cheers
I am glad you are feeling really good! That's gotta be a nice relief for you :)
You're right, really. I have tried to do that a lot more than I used to - in the past, when family would say "jump!" I'd say "How high?" and have been much better about it. I guess I can still fall into my old habits though. I would want family support if I was struggling so that's why I reached out, as well as feeling guilty. Sometimes I still think I am a bad sister, but at the same time she isn't being a very good sister to me.
So I am going to go babysit but only because I love my nephews. I can't do it more than I feel comfortable with.
I am glad you are feeling really good! That's gotta be a nice relief for you :)
You're right, really. I have tried to do that a lot more than I used to - in the past, when family would say "jump!" I'd say "How high?" and have been much better about it. I guess I can still fall into my old habits though. I would want family support if I was struggling so that's why I reached out, as well as feeling guilty. Sometimes I still think I am a bad sister, but at the same time she isn't being a very good sister to me.
So I am going to go babysit but only because I love my nephews. I can't do it more than I feel comfortable with. Thanks well tbh with you I didnt think it was right till the coordinator explained why! Next time make plans and go out your self she is hardly going to leave the kids on their own, in other words do it when it suits you:yesyes: Cheers
MyNameIsTerry
05-02-17, 05:36
Hi Iam actually feeling miles better not just a bit :) Interesting story re your sister we actually had a exact same story in the meeting yesterday the only difference was it was mother and son He wont help him self and mum has had enough of it So I was surprized by the coordinators advice let him get on with it on his own so I spoke out and said well it is a family member blood is thicker than water but looking at it the coordinator advice was right you are going to have to start looking after you now :) Cheers
The coordinators are trained to host the sessions but that's all. They do a NVQ2 or 3, can't remember which. So, any advice they give will be their own untrained opinion.
---------- Post added at 05:36 ---------- Previous post was at 05:08 ----------
Terry, it's so annoying here because we have to use both DSM V and ICD-10. I probably whined about that some other time on here. I don't know why we don't just get on board with just ICD-10 like everybody else. So we bill with the ICD -10 code, but also have to include the DSM V version. :doh: Usually they line up but not always.
I am glad you sound a bit better BigBoyUK than earlier this week. I hope you can find a good team to come out and help you. Some people with certain diagnoses here can get a mental health team that comes out (beyond just the nurse) but they only cover some more severe conditions. I wish there was more available.
I've been trying to be positive but I am feeling quite low lately. I have been super irritable and exhausted. I know my "time of the month" is coming any day now and it is probably that, but it just won't get here! I am not pregnant, have taken tests, so I am just annoyed now. I want to get it over with. Some people know I got off my birth control pill so we could try for a family a little while ago, but getting used to what I am like off that is really hard. I had been on it so long that this is like a rude awakening. Sorry for the men on here if that is too much info, I'm just getting fed up and want it to just show up and get it over with!
I'm having a hard time again with my sister too. I have written on here in the past about how she can be manipulative, needy, and downright mean sometimes to me. I have really increased my boundaries with her for my own good, but she's been going through a hard time lately. I have been reaching out to her just to be supportive (something she never does for me) and I feel like she is being manipulative again. For ex she never wants to just spend time with me, she wants to use me for a free babysitter. I will invite her over or ask if she wants to do something, then she will somehow twist it into her going and doing what she wants and leaving me with the kids. This isn't just sometimes, it is legit all the time. I haven't spent actual time with HER in years. Or she will ask questions in a way that doesn't give me an opportunity to say no, such as saying "Hey what are you doing today?" and I'll say "Nothing" and then she'll say "Will you babysit? I am dying! I can't handle it!" and then I feel like an ass if I say no. When we are together, it's always about her. I could go on ...
So yesterday I reached out to her because she is going through a lot with her job and offered to come over with wine so she can vent, etc. I have stopped doing this because she exhausts me. She said "I'm tired tonight, but how about tomorrow?" and I said sure, that's fine. And you guessed it, it turns into "Great, can you watch the kids so I can do a few things?" .... Last weekend we had a party scheduled for my dad's birthday, but he canceled it because of a stomach bug. She calls right away going "Hey are you home now that the party is canceled?" When I said yes, the first response is "Will you watch the kids so I can go to a movie?"
I love my nephews, I really do, but they aren't my kids. And yes, I want to start my own family, but that's different. Sometimes I just want to spend time with my sister and not just be valuable for what I can do for her. But when I said no in the past, she ripped me a new one and called me all these awful things, said I do nothing all day, just watch TV with my dog. She never apologized.
Sorry for the long rant. I just feel like she uses me and if I can't do what she wants, I am worthless to her. But then when I set a boundary and distance myself, I feel guilty. So I am going over to babysit today, but I am resentful for it because I asked her if SHE wanted to spend time together and she twisted it.
I've got an image of you shouting you just wished it would bloody well happen, as he's taking off his socks and now looking a bit under pressure! :biggrin:
You have nothing to apologise for. Anyway after reading a few threads on the women's problems board I'm not sure I can blush anymore!
Yeah, you've explained about how you have to code. I had a read about the ICD and it did say it was the official one for the US but whenever I've read US articles they tend to quote from the DSM. Is it more about transitioning to the ICD? So, the systems are "new world" hence are built to ICD coding but your medical system still uses the DSM until they cross over? It's bound to be confusing for patients and take some time to migrate properly.
It reminds me of the utility industry over here. Because we were nationalised it was expected every region was the same. Actually we were also regionalised and guess what? Yep, no one standardised the systems. Then they privatised in 1998 for elec and we had unknown problems such as one region entered your Economy 7 day/night readings one way and another did it the opposite way. Out come huge bills because of the transpositions and then it was over to us to sort the mess out so that we transposed them back until we put in a better solution.
You've talked about your sister before. Because you are such a nice person, some people take advantage and you kick yourself because you feel guilty for not doing something, probably also if you had plans so couldn't look after them, feel guilt for saying no despite being totally in the right, etc. It's basically a matter of - you are a kind, compassionate person.
Your sister on the other hand uses that consciously, unconsciously or both. They're her kids, you don't have to be involved in their lives at all. She needs a break as it's killing her - so what? Welcome to parenthood. I don't have kids, but when we watch programmes with these scenarios or talk about others we know that's what my folks say.
If I had kids my parents would be very happy to be involved but if I acted like your sister my mum's response would be "they're not my kids, you shouldn't have had them then" in that old fashioned way. She's spent most of her life working with kids from old fashioned nursery nurse to part time supervisor when she was easing back. I know she has seen, and taken action, against parents for things but she has also talked about parents with serious challenges like the autistic kids years ago. Pulisa knows all about challenge like this.
To me, unless your sister is under immense pressures like a child with such difficulties, then she's really just like everyone else and she has to suck it up and accept it.
When you confront her and she has a strop, are you the peacemaker? Does she make you back down first?
I don't know what is best. Some say to hit them full on with an assertive no and then await them to come crawling so that the balance of power shifts. The trouble is, does that work or do they just not come back?
What does your husband think?
You work hard swgrl and give so much to people so it is maddening that have a sibling acting this way towards you.
Your sister is really taking advantage of your kindness and generosity but it's so hard when you're dealing with your own family. I'd say don't make yourself too available-I can't see her putting herself out if you were to need her help for anything?
The coordinators are trained to host the sessions but that's all. They do a NVQ2 or 3, can't remember which. So, any advice they give will be their own untrained opinion.
---------- Post added at 05:36 ---------- Previous post was at 05:08 ----------
I've got an image of you shouting you just wished it would bloody well happen, as he's taking off his socks and now looking a bit under pressure! :biggrin:
You have nothing to apologise for. Anyway after reading a few threads on the women's problems board I'm not sure I can blush anymore!
Yeah, you've explained about how you have to code. I had a read about the ICD and it did say it was the official one for the US but whenever I've read US articles they tend to quote from the DSM. Is it more about transitioning to the ICD? So, the systems are "new world" hence are built to ICD coding but your medical system still uses the DSM until they cross over? It's bound to be confusing for patients and take some time to migrate properly.
It reminds me of the utility industry over here. Because we were nationalised it was expected every region was the same. Actually we were also regionalised and guess what? Yep, no one standardised the systems. Then they privatised in 1998 for elec and we had unknown problems such as one region entered your Economy 7 day/night readings one way and another did it the opposite way. Out come huge bills because of the transpositions and then it was over to us to sort the mess out so that we transposed them back until we put in a better solution.
You've talked about your sister before. Because you are such a nice person, some people take advantage and you kick yourself because you feel guilty for not doing something, probably also if you had plans so couldn't look after them, feel guilt for saying no despite being totally in the right, etc. It's basically a matter of - you are a kind, compassionate person.
Your sister on the other hand uses that consciously, unconsciously or both. They're her kids, you don't have to be involved in their lives at all. She needs a break as it's killing her - so what? Welcome to parenthood. I don't have kids, but when we watch programmes with these scenarios or talk about others we know that's what my folks say.
If I had kids my parents would be very happy to be involved but if I acted like your sister my mum's response would be "they're not my kids, you shouldn't have had them then" in that old fashioned way. She's spent most of her life working with kids from old fashioned nursery nurse to part time supervisor when she was easing back. I know she has seen, and taken action, against parents for things but she has also talked about parents with serious challenges like the autistic kids years ago. Pulisa knows all about challenge like this.
To me, unless your sister is under immense pressures like a child with such difficulties, then she's really just like everyone else and she has to suck it up and accept it.
When you confront her and she has a strop, are you the peacemaker? Does she make you back down first?
I don't know what is best. Some say to hit them full on with an assertive no and then await them to come crawling so that the balance of power shifts. The trouble is, does that work or do they just not come back?
What does your husband think?
You work hard swgrl and give so much to people so it is maddening that have a sibling acting this way towards you. So similar to on here then some one posts something asks a question etc some one replies it's the same thing then!! Cheers
---------- Post added at 12:57 ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 ----------
I actually cant wait for the middle of Feb for the local pub meal to take place Iam definatley going to that :) Why I didn't go back to changes a few years back I will never know!!! :yesyes: Cheers
The coordinators are trained to host the sessions but that's all. They do a NVQ2 or 3, can't remember which. So, any advice they give will be their own untrained opinion.
---------- Post added at 05:36 ---------- Previous post was at 05:08 ----------
I've got an image of you shouting you just wished it would bloody well happen, as he's taking off his socks and now looking a bit under pressure! :biggrin:
You have nothing to apologise for. Anyway after reading a few threads on the women's problems board I'm not sure I can blush anymore!
Yeah, you've explained about how you have to code. I had a read about the ICD and it did say it was the official one for the US but whenever I've read US articles they tend to quote from the DSM. Is it more about transitioning to the ICD? So, the systems are "new world" hence are built to ICD coding but your medical system still uses the DSM until they cross over? It's bound to be confusing for patients and take some time to migrate properly.
It reminds me of the utility industry over here. Because we were nationalised it was expected every region was the same. Actually we were also regionalised and guess what? Yep, no one standardised the systems. Then they privatised in 1998 for elec and we had unknown problems such as one region entered your Economy 7 day/night readings one way and another did it the opposite way. Out come huge bills because of the transpositions and then it was over to us to sort the mess out so that we transposed them back until we put in a better solution.
You've talked about your sister before. Because you are such a nice person, some people take advantage and you kick yourself because you feel guilty for not doing something, probably also if you had plans so couldn't look after them, feel guilt for saying no despite being totally in the right, etc. It's basically a matter of - you are a kind, compassionate person.
Your sister on the other hand uses that consciously, unconsciously or both. They're her kids, you don't have to be involved in their lives at all. She needs a break as it's killing her - so what? Welcome to parenthood. I don't have kids, but when we watch programmes with these scenarios or talk about others we know that's what my folks say.
If I had kids my parents would be very happy to be involved but if I acted like your sister my mum's response would be "they're not my kids, you shouldn't have had them then" in that old fashioned way. She's spent most of her life working with kids from old fashioned nursery nurse to part time supervisor when she was easing back. I know she has seen, and taken action, against parents for things but she has also talked about parents with serious challenges like the autistic kids years ago. Pulisa knows all about challenge like this.
To me, unless your sister is under immense pressures like a child with such difficulties, then she's really just like everyone else and she has to suck it up and accept it.
When you confront her and she has a strop, are you the peacemaker? Does she make you back down first?
I don't know what is best. Some say to hit them full on with an assertive no and then await them to come crawling so that the balance of power shifts. The trouble is, does that work or do they just not come back?
What does your husband think?
You work hard swgrl and give so much to people so it is maddening that have a sibling acting this way towards you.
Well I think the person who does our billing probably knows the answer to why we need both DSM and ICD 10. I know in strictly medical diagnostics, I believe it is all ICD 10 but the mental health aspect for some reason makes it confusing. They say we are using the ICD code but the DSM diagnostic criteria. At this point I don't ask questions anymore, just do what will get us paid and the biller won't get mad at me :shrug: lol
Yeah, I do post about her a lot. My family has been one of the dynamics that caused a lot of anxiety and guilt for me growing up, and I guess a lot of that lingers. I was able to cut off ties with my other sister (there are two, they are identical twins) because of her husband. She is finally divorcing him, our relationship has improved a little but she's never apologized so I am just keeping it distant but amicable.
This sister, on the other hand, tends to be very emotionally reactive. If anybody sets limits with her, she gets very upset/loud/yelling/insults you/drags everybody else into it too. I mean it was like this about other things even growing up as kids. Both sisters were quite similar in that respect.
I think I always ended up the peacemaker or at least the one who just backed down to calm the situation. But that's too much to do forever.
My husband usually supports my decisions in telling her no. Once in a while, he tells me I should just go over there and do it, which I understand but he is lucky he hasn't grown up with this dynamic in his family forever. Every once in a while we disagree about it, but usually not.
You know, in the past when I set a firm "no" I just kind of don't hear from her ever. And then if I want to have any type of "sister" relationship, as soon as any communication starts again, she starts asking me to do things for her right away. It's never about spending time together or just having a relationship. I almost feel like it has to be no communication in order to not be used all the time.
Pulisa - I do tend to try to be "unavailable" a lot if I can be. It seems like the way she asks me questions is a way to "trap" me? (I know that sounds paranoid and I don't mean it to lol). Like she will say all friendly "Oh hey how are you? What are you doing today?" and if I don't have concrete plans, that's when the begging comes. So I think I just have to be ready for that every time she reaches out unfortunately.
I guess I just feel like I really don't have siblings even though I have two. I get sad seeing how close my husband is with his brothers. But at least I can be a part of that family.
Thanks for your thoughts, guys. I think I get repetitive when things come up again like this. I appreciate your patience :hugs:
---------- Post added at 08:28 ---------- Previous post was at 08:10 ----------
Also just to add on a light note - Terry, I actually did yell "I JUST WISH IT WOULD HAPPEN" last night :roflmao:
I know it's difficult for you swgrl09 And I too can get repetitive in what I say lets try and keep this thread positive I always start a new thread else where if I am down or need to rant on LOL :) Cheers
I think swgrl09 is just working some ideas through with us in order to move forward with her somewhat challenging sister so I'd say this is a positive thing?
I think swgrl09 is just working some ideas through with us in order to move forward with her somewhat challenging sister so I'd say this is a positive thing? Yes I can see that so this is good :) Going back to me I think I will continue 'both' meetings for various reasons all good ones 1. It gets me out of the house. 2. Meeting new people. 3. It's positive WTG. 4. while Pm's are also a great way to chat it's a bit face less in some ways, where with the changes groups/meetings you actually meet people :) Cheers
Sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread! Just was checking in yesterday and it was on my mind.
Sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread! Just was checking in yesterday and it was on my mind. That's ok now lets hear about your recovery or a plan for your recovery :) Cheers
Cant wait till Thursday and Friday for my next meetings, this week is dragging slow Ahh.
Well positive meetings last week folks and have met some nice ppl at one of the Peer Support Groups one has just phoned me as we exchanged our numbers after the meeting and spent 15 mins on the phone talking to each other, My friend who I have known for 12 months comes to see me most sat nights when he called last sat he actually could sense the positivity in me too and mentioned it and gave me some good advice stay away from negative ppl :) Also looking forward to the social get together this week at a local pub so looking forward to that too :) Yeah all good at the moment :) Thanks for reading hope this has inspired some one by reading it. Cheers
mezzaninedoor
20-02-17, 12:30
Glad to here about your positivity.
I often find that very hard to grasp at a core level.
Always good to hear about people getting better.
Glad to here about your positivity.
I often find that very hard to grasp at a core level.
Always good to hear about people getting better. Thank you :) But actually 6 weeks or possibly slighty longer my mind set was yuk and I couldn't find a way out, thought I was trapped for a very long time. but then doors open and you have to go through them before they shut behind you as you never know when the next one will open :) this is why I started this thread up as there are some very negative threads on here where some members are trapped which is sad Positivity is the WTG :yesyes: Cheers
MyNameIsTerry
21-02-17, 13:33
When the meeting Coordinators positions come up, why not consider it? You're a positive ideas type man and have tried to calm dispute on here several times.
I think you would be great at it!
Only if you want to though, don't feel pressure to do anything, it's just my observation.
When the meeting Coordinators positions come up, why not consider it? You're a positive ideas type man and have tried to calm dispute on here several times.
I think you would be great at it!
Only if you want to though, don't feel pressure to do anything, it's just my observation. Thank you Terry I actually do feel more confident now havent felt like this for quite a few months now! But I am moving onwards and upwards now :) So Yes it's something worth looking in to :) Thanks again. Oh BTW You should have a couple of unanswered Pm's I sent you The other thing I want to say is (and it's a observation too) you are always giving good advice out and helping members on here, so Iam passing on the 12th step from changes and passing it on you, I would like to think sometime in the near future that you will come back to changes as your input at say Peer Support would be invaluable and benificail to all ;)Cheers
Clydesdale Epona
21-02-17, 22:39
Been a while since i checked in with this thread, been very very tired and busy :roflmao: just wanted to say i'm still alive and functioning(just about haha!) hope everyone else is doing well x
All the best :hugs:
Been a while since i checked in with this thread, been very very tired and busy :roflmao: just wanted to say i'm still alive and functioning(just about haha!) hope everyone else is doing well x
All the best :hugs: Well that's good to know :) Yes doing very well thanks to this forum and of course my changes meetings and hear Changes also have now opened a new office in Bristol, so any one from that area do pop in and check out the many varied work shops and meetings too :) I am also going to my first Changes Social Activity tonight so do wish me well folks :) Cheers
Hi bigboy
Just wanted to say have a good evening tonight.
Well done in getting out there :)
Hi bigboy
Just wanted to say have a good evening tonight.
Well done in getting out there :) I will apparently one of the Guys from a Peer support Meeting which I go to will be there to meet me as there are many Peer Support Groups in the area and a lot of them go to other meetings in other surrounding areas I have never seen before so that will be a ice breaker for me :) Thank you! Hope you evening will be good too :) Cheers
---------- Post added at 14:05 ---------- Previous post was at 14:00 ----------
I have wasted too much time sitting in and having too much me time on my own which is soul destroying! So moving on now :) Cheers Well It went very well apart from Changes, not contacting to say the time had changed 1hr earlier :eek: So I was there at 5:45 but the table had to be rebooked a hr earlier for some reason and changes did have my contact number at the office, but some how got mislaid so they were just finishing their derserts off as I was ordering my main! Some left but about 4 remained and we all chatted only knew one person there a coordinator but it was good and will be going to more and will try and get the Churnet Valley Railway (CVR) on one of the social meets in the next few months as I think quite a few members will be interested in Steam Trains like I am :) Cheers
Update: Had nasty cold the last few weeks so didn't attend till last week new member just started got to know him a bit better and it transpires he also likes steam trains and has car too so got talking to him in the break today and we could be seeing a few steam train preserved railways so something to look forward to :) Update on Changes radio nearly ready to go on line they are just finishing off a few things like laying a new carpet in the studio etc will post the launch date here just to remind you all any one can access it providing they have a Broad Band connection in any country :) Cheers
Clydesdale Epona
16-03-17, 22:12
Glad to hear you're doing better Bigboy :) x
All the best :hugs:
Glad to hear you're doing better Bigboy :) x
All the best :hugs: Thank you Clydesdale I know we are still in winter but better weather is on it's way but can only look forward to that if I am with someone enjoying some activities together so fingers crossed some new things will happen for me :) Cheers
Catherine S
16-03-17, 22:24
I'm looking forward to the radio station BB, I hope I'll be able to log into it when it's ready :yesyes:
ISB ☺
I'm looking forward to the radio station BB, I hope I'll be able to log into it when it's ready :yesyes:
ISB ☺ Yes you will ISB and no VPN required either ;) Cheers
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