giraffesinscarves
10-01-17, 14:29
Hi everyone :)
Sorry if this is a very long rambly post or if it comes off as a rant. I live with my best friend who has bad problems with anxiety. Things have been getting worse over the past few months and I have no idea how to help.
A lot of it is health anxiety. At the moment he's suffering with quite a nasty cold that's going around. Whenever he feels ill he worries that he has a severe illness or that it will develop into a terminal illness eventually. He will google symptoms and no one will be able to convince him that he'll be ok. He will eventually coincide that he'll feel better soon but this can take hours or days to reach this point. Then it's starts over again. He'll also get anxious about relationships and work. When he is anxious I try not to minimise his anxiety but also reassure him that situations will not always have a negative outcome. The problem is this does little to reassure him and the anxiety will cycle on for hours. At that point I try to change the subject or find a distraction for both our sakes.
I've reached the end of my tether today. He often has panic attacks upon waking (they seem to be panic attacks but he's not fully awake?). If I'm around during these attacks I'll try and reassure him that he's ok and not in any danger. Today he had a panic attack upon waking after napping in the living room and I started to reassure him he was alright, but he continued to scream at me that I was a liar and he wasn't ok. I wasn't sure if he had woken up or was still half asleep.When he had woken up he said he couldn't understand why I was the one looking anxious. That he was the one in panic and I should be less selfish. He then went up to his room. This has happened before and he doesn't speak to me for a long time. He will sometimes call his girlfriend to complain about how unsupportive I am after episodes like this. (This has also happened vice versa where he'll complain to me that his girlfriend is unsupportive of is anxiety.)
I'm so angry about his attitude. I also have anxiety and depression and was at a pretty low point in November last year. If I seemed upset about something he would ask me what was wrong. I would try to tell him what was bothering me but then he would say he couldn't give me the support I needed and he couldn't talk about it. End of discussion. Strangely though he would get angry with me if I kept how I was feeling to myself. And I'm being selfish? :mad: I try to tell myself he probably wasn't in the best place himself to give much support but it still annoys me. Happily I changed my meds and and am feeling much brighter now :)
Things are great when he's well. He says he recognises he has a problem with anxiety and that he hates it, but he just won't get help. I want to be a good friend and I want him to feel better. But right now I also want to scream at him for how selfish he's being and that he needs to GET HELP! I don't want to move out on bad terms or lose a friend but I'm unsure of how to proceed.
Thank you x
Sorry if this is a very long rambly post or if it comes off as a rant. I live with my best friend who has bad problems with anxiety. Things have been getting worse over the past few months and I have no idea how to help.
A lot of it is health anxiety. At the moment he's suffering with quite a nasty cold that's going around. Whenever he feels ill he worries that he has a severe illness or that it will develop into a terminal illness eventually. He will google symptoms and no one will be able to convince him that he'll be ok. He will eventually coincide that he'll feel better soon but this can take hours or days to reach this point. Then it's starts over again. He'll also get anxious about relationships and work. When he is anxious I try not to minimise his anxiety but also reassure him that situations will not always have a negative outcome. The problem is this does little to reassure him and the anxiety will cycle on for hours. At that point I try to change the subject or find a distraction for both our sakes.
I've reached the end of my tether today. He often has panic attacks upon waking (they seem to be panic attacks but he's not fully awake?). If I'm around during these attacks I'll try and reassure him that he's ok and not in any danger. Today he had a panic attack upon waking after napping in the living room and I started to reassure him he was alright, but he continued to scream at me that I was a liar and he wasn't ok. I wasn't sure if he had woken up or was still half asleep.When he had woken up he said he couldn't understand why I was the one looking anxious. That he was the one in panic and I should be less selfish. He then went up to his room. This has happened before and he doesn't speak to me for a long time. He will sometimes call his girlfriend to complain about how unsupportive I am after episodes like this. (This has also happened vice versa where he'll complain to me that his girlfriend is unsupportive of is anxiety.)
I'm so angry about his attitude. I also have anxiety and depression and was at a pretty low point in November last year. If I seemed upset about something he would ask me what was wrong. I would try to tell him what was bothering me but then he would say he couldn't give me the support I needed and he couldn't talk about it. End of discussion. Strangely though he would get angry with me if I kept how I was feeling to myself. And I'm being selfish? :mad: I try to tell myself he probably wasn't in the best place himself to give much support but it still annoys me. Happily I changed my meds and and am feeling much brighter now :)
Things are great when he's well. He says he recognises he has a problem with anxiety and that he hates it, but he just won't get help. I want to be a good friend and I want him to feel better. But right now I also want to scream at him for how selfish he's being and that he needs to GET HELP! I don't want to move out on bad terms or lose a friend but I'm unsure of how to proceed.
Thank you x