Please help me...

[Civics23]

Should I tell this deep dark secret I have been hiding?
So, first off I was 15-16 years old, me and a girl did somethings, nothing sexual. She just did something to me, any way, we made out and did these things just for one day. Well this girl happened to be my best friends sister. I'm 28 now and I have been holding onto it for YEARS now, I have horrible anxiety that if I tell him he is gonna beat the crap out of me. And I have OCD which makes it even worse... that being said, I was even confronted about it by my best friend when we were young days after it happened. Could have swore he was gonna beat me.... His brother spilled the beans and I denied it, all these years went on I would think It would have been brought up since they lived together or probably talked about it afterwards. I was a kid I was dumb...

Anyways, should I come out and tell him or should I put this under the rug abd quit worrying about it because it's eating me.

Plus he is gonna be my best man, what do I do?

I have terrible anxiety please help, I'm medicated just been off of it and getting back on now.

[SLA]

What stands out as the best option to you?

Everyone has a "dumb shit" story. They are of little consequence. People laugh at that kind of stuff.

[Civics23]

I'm not sure SLA I wish I could say I have the right answer. Everyone I have talked to just say to let it go, it happened years ago, but my anxiety and OCD make it come back and worse.

I also struggle with intrusive thoughts about everything I need to read your blog

[Clydesdale Epona]

I've always felt the need to come out about everything,
last week my partner asked me to bring them some milk over and i forgot to, i was almost crying when i told them it slipped my mind because i felt so bad haha.
my best advice is letting things go are great but if you really can't let it go then its best to just be honest about it and get it off your chest x

[swgrl09]

I mean it would be one thing if it was your friend's wife, but it's not, it's his sister. She's free to make whatever choices she wants. So either way I don't think it would be a big deal. But the question is - is getting it off your chest going to help or is that something that your OCD is hyperfocused on and it would be better to try to challenge that pattern of obsessive thinking?

[Lucinda07]

I get the impression that the girl was happy to have this experience with you. She isn't complaining. Why is the brother acting as her keeper. Is his male ego threatened?
The incident happened 12+ years ago & concerns only you & the girl. I don't see that its any of your best friend's business!

[Chris 614]

I just don't see what good can come from telling your friend about this. And, it involves someone else...his sister. By telling him you would be sharing a secret that his sister may not want shared. You should respect her privacy. This was a moment in time that is really none of his business. I get that you are best friends and all...but that doesn't mean you can't have a private life.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree with the above you said on the other thread that you were both the same age so it's just a case of two young people liking each other and learning about your bodies.

I really think you are attaching far too much to it.

He may not like it as her brother but quite frankly he is going to have to accept things like this because his sister is going to have sexual relationships. If he can't, he is the one with the problem. If you are bragging about it, he could be understandably annoyed but you've been mature about it all this time so no one has been hurt.

If he is your best man I would be thinking you are good friends and he shouldn't be annoyed or upset by someone having a mutual relationship with his sister and treating her with the respect you have.