View Full Version : Worried about flying
I've been all week worrying about booking a flight for next week and can't decide if I want to go anybody give me any advice not flown in about 3 years?
What are some of your fears about the flight?
I used to be afraid of crashing/problems until I flew a lot. It would help me to think about how in this very moment, thousands of planes are taking off and landing without a hitch! We only hear about the bad stuff.
I might have a panic attack and can't get off the flight is only an hour but can't bring myself to book it.
You"ll be totally fine if its only an hour, I say go for it! Get some things to distract you, meditations, audiobooks...whatever works for you. I'm mega fidgety so I always take a rubix cube so people dont notice my restless hands. Good luck ☺
Catherine S
15-01-17, 21:01
I get a bit panicky on the plane but fly regularly from Hannover Germany to Birmingham to visit family, which only takes about an hour and 40 minutes, and I have to have all my 'props' in my hand luggage as far as i'm allowed, such as one of those menthol sticks that you breathe through your nose with, because panic can often start with feeling you can't breathe. I also use earplugs to drown out most of the unnecessary chatter around me.
I usually pay a bit extra (with Flybe) so I can choose my seat when I book online and always choose a seat in the first 3 or 4 rows, an aisle seat not a window seat. I then just try to read the inflight mag about all the cities they fly to and what's going on there, just to distract myself.
By the time the snack trolley comes around followed by the duty free trolley, the descent starts, which is the last 20 mins of the flight. I've never flown long haul so not sure how I'd cope with that. I think about all the celebs who fly back and forth across the Atlantic as if they were catching a bus, or the business people who have to fly in and out of Europe, or across the UK each day to get to their jobs.
Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and just do it. How have you coped in the past?
ISB :)
I coped fine before but I always have big gaps when I fly takes me years to build up courage to go on holiday again. I've driven my girlfriend bonkers now and don't think she's willing to book it now so not looking good. I plan on going euro star in the summer however if like to head to Dublin but the only way is to fly.
Well that's it left it too late as the flight is in a few days. Beating myself up over this as the anxiety has won when it came to booking I couldn't bring myself to the checkout stage. :doh::lac:
Sorry to hear that. It may have won the battle but you can win the war.
Fear of flying is perfectly rational so don't beat yourself up over it.
I changed my mind and booked it going to worry now got a few days before the flight..
Hey that's awesome!! Good for you! It will be better than you expect.
Well done! Just think how great you're going to feel when you land.
Good for you! I had the same feelings as you about flying, but eventually I got to fly without any problems after about six flights. I won't tell you it was easy the first and second time but the more familiar it becomes, the easier it gets. I agree with the poster who advises taking 'props' to make you comfortable. This might sound lame, but I logged on to You Tube, and some video of planes taking off and landing taken by people going on holiday. They shot the film through the plane window so I put my chair sideways and imagined I was on the plane, taking off. OK so I now sound completely barking and I can't believe I've told anyone this............................but you know what, after a few goes at it I did feel a bit better. Please don't tell anyone I did this!!
Pansy, that's a brilliant idea! I haven't flown for over 20 years. I've booked a holiday in Lapland with my partner. I wasn't too worried at the time but now there are only three weeks to go and I have to say I'm terrified! Every night as I drift off to sleep I feel myself on the plane taking off and I wake up with a lightning bolt of panic thinking that I just can't do it. We don't live that far from Heathrow, and every day I look out of my window and see the planes peacefully going by, not crashing ... I'm not even sure what it is that frightens me so much - it's probably fear of fear as much as anything - but I have done it before without having a massive panic and embarrassing myself! I had a good cry this morning, I just wish I was a braver person and was actually looking forward to the holiday of a lifetime! :scared15:
I fly for the first time in 4 weeks and I am super nervous but then I am going to be prepared as I can be and hoping my two kids will keep me distracted too lol x
Phil06,
This all may be too late. You didn't say when the flight was, but...
-meditation mps on an ipod or your phone
-a book you have already read and loved (even a childhood favourite)
-write some good things about what is waiting for you after the flight (ie- a great restaurant, a productive work meeting, a comfy hotel room, etc) and focus on those
-Think about the other times in your life where you have experienced anxiety. I would imagine there have been some times that have lasted just as long as your flight. And what I mean is, worse case scenario, you feel really uncomfortable for two hours. But it's likely something you've battled through before in different circumstances.
I flew this past September, a 5 hour flight, for the first time in 11 years and I had worked myself up horribly. But it was really okay and when we landed I even cried a bit because I was so proud of myself.
(I also had brought a colouring book with me that I didn't even need in the end)
Please keep us posted!
-Dora
I managed the flight wasn't too anxious but it was a quick flight. Have to return today so need to go on another. :blush:
jackanakanory
24-01-17, 13:52
I haven't been on this site for a few years but I too am afraid of flying and it brings me out in panic just thinking of holiday.
We went to Turkey two years ago and I went to a hypnotherapist as I was willing to try anything.
He was brilliant, really understood everything, did a couple of sessions with me and gave me a usb stick to download what he had said onto my phone/tablet to listen to as and when needed.
It actually worked, the flight out was the best flight I have had in years, no panic whatsoever. Flight back was a fine too just listened to his recording.
I am going to Greece in June and New York in November and have booked back in with him.
I was very very sceptical of hypnosis but as I say I was prepared to try anything. It may not work for everyone but its worth a try.
Best of luck
Hey there, I suspect you've already had plenty of responses to this but here's what worked for me and my partner (she was terrified!):
1 - hypnotherapy. Sorted me out so I was able to go on honeymoon!
2 - Valium. It really is an option, GPs are fairly happy to give you one or two for flights I think, although obviously not a first line treatment
3 - Codewords and things to distract you on the flight, soothing music
4 - choosing your seat so you can feel comfortable wherever you are on the plane
5 - this might be alarming, but there's a website which teaches you how to survive a plane crash. I know it sounds silly but I think sometimes it's good to approach these things with a mixture of practical and soothing tactics. Apparently more than 50% of people survive crashes, and you can boost your chances by sitting in seats less than 7 rows from an exit, and making sure you carry a torch ?? Silly little things like this, but reading it made me feel more in control.
Happy holidays going forwards, hope the flight back was OK!
Happy to offer any advice as I was a pilot for 30 years. To put things into perspective - one would have to fly every day and all day for 102 years before they crashed! You are 100 times more likely to get injured in a car crash than you are in a plane!
When you fly - look at the guys and gals who service you and think about their temprement and their confidence with flying. They are perfectly relaxed boys and girls who know the truth about flying. They wouldn't be there if it was remotely dangerous - it is simply an unusual experience if someone hasn't done it often enough.
up a ladder
24-01-17, 23:01
Happy to offer any advice as I was a pilot for 30 years. To put things into perspective - one would have to fly every day and all day for 102 years before they crashed! You are 100 times more likely to get injured in a car crash than you are in a plane!
When you fly - look at the guys and gals who service you and think about their temprement and their confidence with flying. They are perfectly relaxed boys and girls who know the truth about flying. They wouldn't be there if it was remotely dangerous - it is simply an unusual experience if someone hasn't done it often enough.
My fear of flying differs in as much as it's me I don't trust not the palne or pilot. I have visions of losing control and trying to pull the emergency exit door out mid flight. Add to that the thought of being recorded on 100 phones and being posted on you tube. If I could sit on a chair on a wing, I'd fly, but being on a plane for 7 hours knowing there is absolutely no escape makes me think I will panic.
I'd just like to say that I was really nervous about my holiday in Lapland - I hadn't flown for around 20 years and always hated it. I took Pansy's advice and watched lots of YouTube videos (starting with simple takeoffs and reassuring pep talks, progressing to banking, crosswinds and emergency landings, also information about how planes actually work and why they stay up there). I also asked my GP for some beta blockers, as recommended by a friend who used to be a flight attendant, and found them really helpful. It was still fairly nerve-racking at first (sitting with my eyes shut and asking my partner "Is it supposed to be doing that"?) but gradually I began to be able to interpret the weird sensations and relax enough to embark on a giant crossword that occupied me most of the way there. So the goldfinch has finally flown! I don't honestly think that I will ever enjoy flying, but we had such a wonderful week that it was well worth it, and I'm already starting to look at holidays in Iceland ... all you fellow aviophobes, don't give up.
Hi I was really interested to read these posts and yours Phil. I have not been able to go home to Ireland in a year and a half but have a flight booked for Friday . The worst bit is worrying I will check in and then will not be able to board. Has anyone any advice on Valium for flying? I have 2mg tablets which I never take hardly except when I have acute anxiety. They seem to have little effect and don't stop the heart racing.not sure when to take them either I.e how soon before a flight. If you have this anxiety very bad in my experience no distraction works except some form of medication. Any tips anyone?
Hi Arletta, beta-blockers definitely helped with the racing heart, knot in the stomach etc. I didn't find they made me drowsy as diazepam can, but you can take both.
I'm keen to book another flight but worried again as I seen a news story about oxgen masks coming down during a flight.
I got the train to France this summer as i much prefer this to flying.
I want to book a flight to Berlin but worried as it's 2 hours 20 mins and I will be anxious :ohmy:
Anybody? Been unable to book tonight too stressed
Update:
Booked flight for October but very anxious now about being on plane 2 hours :ohmy:
Well done Phil that's so great you booked it! I hadn't flown since early 2013 until this July and I must say it was an absolute breeze.
I was really worried because I wasn't dealing with anxiety at all the last time I flew, I worried I would have a panic attack on board etc. Just didn't happen. I took a really engrossing book, downloaded some podcasts I love beforehand and focused on all the fun things we would do when we got there. The flight was an hour and a half and really smooth, so that helped. I'll admit I had a little beverage but that was more because I wanted to get into holiday mode! Enjoy yourself, we only live once :shades:
I fly in less than a week dreading it as the flight experience is unpleasant with anxiety :blush:
I’m flying again in a few weeks can anybody give me any tips? My anxiety has been bad lately
I’m due to fly tomorrow can anybody give me anymore tips?
I want to fly to New York but fear being shut in a box for 7 hours with food I don’t like and a small plane I can’t move much about :ohmy:
My mum doesn’t understand why I have flying anxiety as I use to fly myself when I was younger and she is a regular flyer. The issue is the news like Daily Mail any airplane tragedy it’s very graphic in detail and being honest this stuff has stuck in my mind and have lost faith in flying. I feel it’s a risk.
Anyway I was hoping to book a flight on my next holiday in February but I decided a short trip by train to England. I was hoping to do Dublin but just couldn’t handle the anxiety I mean what happens is for days I feel crap and worry at work that the anxiety has defeated me if I don’t fly. I do really want to go to New York and revisit Dublin but other than that I can take the train everywhere. I mean there is snobbery about taking the train as people prefer flying. Interesting climate change is changing that and overnight trains are coming back in Europe.
As I said before I considered myself a “Homebody” partly due to my anxiety but in the past 2 years I got out my comfort zone tried food abroad travelled I took a few flights and I also went to Europe by train. I visited Italy by train and Switzerland Belgium and France and many more. Should I content myself with that should I get use to that I prefer the train? Realistically I worry I may never overcome my flying fear. I have found a love for travelling having never been interested in it before.
So my question is how do I deal with the guilt of not flying? In the past I went through 4 years without flying then I took a few flights then I go back on my box again. I’ve had this pattern for years I wonder if a therapist could root it out as it’s obviously all in the mind?
SnowyGreen
23-01-20, 02:44
At least you don't live in Australia where if you want to fly, every other country is 2.4 billion kilometers away
I am still trying to get my head round when to fly (when the virus is better obviously)
But I have been trying to imagine taking a book, watching a movie, music to break the journey up. I am also keen to book the fear of flyer course to learn about the plane and noises ect
Sometimes I feel I can beat the fear other times not. My biggest fear is being on a plane longer than 2 hours. I last flew 4 hours when I was much younger and can’t remember it much. I coped then but worry I won’t now. My goal to reach America may not be realistic maybe I can’t do it. Maybe I can? I had the same anxiety about long train journeys I did this by breaking it down into smaller journeys in the day which helped my anxiety. I’m not quite sure I can watch a full movie whilst travelling nor do I want to travel being medicated. The fear of flyer course has a 95% success rate but I can’t see me watching a few videos and suddenly being cured or am I wrong? Would £85 be a good investment?
This crisis has meant some large plans have been scrapped which isn’t good news as if I fly I have to take a smaller plane. Sure I’ve only ever flew normal planes never a jumbo but my fear is long haul. I wish I could travel the world however when you have had anxiety about being shut in for 7/8 hours, lack of good food can’t exactly go to McDonald’s mid flight..once lockdown is over I hope to be able to fly. I mean I agreed I could take a short visit to Ireland I guess. People say it’s great I can get to places by rail which great but I also want to visit Poland which is also hard to visit by rail so I wish I could overcome my fear of flying. My ambition is to travel the whole world if possible but that’s very hard when I fear boats and also planes. I have never gave boats a go but I don’t think I would like them..
glassgirlw
26-05-20, 03:50
I understand your fear. I do not like flying at all. I’ve flown previously and every time has just been awful. I can’t sit still, make 900 trips to the bathroom even though I don’t have to go lol, I just need to be up and moving. For me, I think I’ve worked it out to be a lack of control. There’s nothing about a flight I can control, and I don’t like putting myself in others hands. I’m no help on giving you advice to overcome this fear, but it would be interesting to read some others tips about how they handle it. I’d love to be able to travel anywhere and not have to plan for 2-3 days driving time on each trip.
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