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View Full Version : Why wont the irrational fear go away???



KrazyK
16-01-17, 13:56
I am going crazy at myself atm. I just cannot control my anxiety at all. The fact I am 26w pregnant is not helping of course. I am constantly crying and getting upset about silly things I know shouldn't bother me.

But.....

Two weeks ago I passed my driving test. Yay to me :yesyes: This weekend we bought a new car that I am able to drive but is also big enough for our growing family (we already have a 3yo)
It's my dream car. The Kia Sportage. I had to drive it home from the dealership and my husband drove back with our son. It was fine, of course I was far from perfect. The car is large and I learnt in a teeny car. Overall it was ok though.
Then all Sat night I couldnt stop crying. I was scared to drive the car again.
Yesterday my husband took me out driving so I could adjust to the new car and have the safety of him being with me. (When in public I am always much happier when he is with me) I drove for a total of around 3hrs on and off with swapping seats n going in couple of shops. On way home I stalled..... and again..... and again.....
I ended up in the middle of a traffic light controlled junction with a car right up my arse (despite the fact i had stalled she didnt back off) and a bus coming straight at me (he was obviously waiting but was rather close and petrifying) i couldnt calm myself down n went into panic mode. My husband ran round n got in n drove rest way home.
I could not stop crying all evening. I would just burst into tears. I have been having awful heart palputations and am now really fearful. My husband has been great and said he is confident I will be ok on my own again. He said if anything like that happens again to take 2seconds n centre myself as then i will be able to regain control quicker.

My problem is... I have to drive to the hospital this afternoon. I have to drive there, park, and drive home by myself.
I am so scared although we did the trip twice yesterday with me driving (even went in the car park)

I know how to drive, I wouldnt have passed my test if I couldnt. I know I am being irrational and overthinking it all and once I get in the car I will be fine, I will just get on with it.

All morning my hearts being going crazy. I keep randomly bursting into tears and my hands keep shaking. I cannot concentrate on anything n feel sick to my stomach (although that may be pregnancy related)

How do I get this feeling to go away? Right now I dont even want to get in the car. I have to leave at about 12.45 and I am so scared. :scared15:

---------- Post added at 13:56 ---------- Previous post was at 10:58 ----------

More proof it's all irrational.....

I have arrived and my drive was exactly as it should be. I even parked between two cars (although i drove in was a car behind me so didnt want to attempt to reverse in)

Now at my app and feeling more confident... i know my confidence will grow each day and I need to try and ignore these nasty demons (being pregnant and off my meds is not a good time for change:doh:)

Onward and up. Heres to ignoring the demon voice inside my head!!!:yesyes:

KeeKee
16-01-17, 14:04
Good for you. Don't forget pregnancy hormones can make you feel dodgy too.

KrazyK
16-01-17, 14:08
Thanks.
And yes I know. Pregnancy hormones + no meds = a very emotional anxious me :doh:

I reversed out of the bay in one swoop and was off home. I was running late to pick up my 3yo so parked in quickest safest place (instead of directly outside as would have had to reverse etc..) and ran up the school. Still got to school by 2.55 and was still other parents going in.
One thing i have found is wearing a certain pair of boots. I wasnt over the weekend instead wearing uggs which have such thick soles. Today i wore the pair i wore when i passed my test and everything felt much more comfortable. My husband said its quite common for people to have driving shoes so for now they are staying in the car and I will be always wearing those lol