ponylover
13-04-07, 22:42
:weep: :weep:
I don't know what to do. I can't see any hope of being able to do anything with my life, and I'm only 20. What is the point. I'm not going to end it, I couldn't do that to my friends and my pony. I've never been one for taking the easy way out, but sometimes I wish that I could.
And I have no excuse either. Yes, I lived in a constant state of high anxiety for the first 17 years of my life, waiting for the next time my dad would randomly and spontaneously explode, but that's over now. He won't do it again...so why do I still feel so awful? I have friends (ok, they're all old enough to be my mum, but that's more because that's who I meet through work than from choice), but I never go out, I can't ring my friends as often as I'd like because they all have their own lives and I'm too independant to be that needy.
I hate feeling so down, and I hate myself for feeling this down. But I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I also have trouble coming to terms with the fact that I may have to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life, because when I try and stop them, this happens:weep:
Sorry for the moan, but I have noone else to talk to.
I don't know what to do. I can't see any hope of being able to do anything with my life, and I'm only 20. What is the point. I'm not going to end it, I couldn't do that to my friends and my pony. I've never been one for taking the easy way out, but sometimes I wish that I could.
And I have no excuse either. Yes, I lived in a constant state of high anxiety for the first 17 years of my life, waiting for the next time my dad would randomly and spontaneously explode, but that's over now. He won't do it again...so why do I still feel so awful? I have friends (ok, they're all old enough to be my mum, but that's more because that's who I meet through work than from choice), but I never go out, I can't ring my friends as often as I'd like because they all have their own lives and I'm too independant to be that needy.
I hate feeling so down, and I hate myself for feeling this down. But I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I also have trouble coming to terms with the fact that I may have to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life, because when I try and stop them, this happens:weep:
Sorry for the moan, but I have noone else to talk to.