Anxiety and worry for new job

[brooklyn79]

Hi all,

Just new here to the forums but just wondered if I could get some advice. Basically I am due to start a new job tomorrow and I am feeling so nervous and anxious I have not slept all week for worrying about it!

I was in a great job that I loved, think because I was usually on my own in the office so didn't have to deal with many people I was then made redundant. Since then I have had two temp jobs (one which the staff were really bitchy towards me) then I have got used to just being at home for the last 3 months but knew I had to start earning money again because me and my partner couldn't live off his wage forever. Anyway I was offered a new part time admin role and feel so scared to go in tomorrow I feel like crying all the time and am worried sick.

I'm worrying about the most stupid things from it has a small car park so how will I get my car in, will I park in somebody's spot how will I get my car out to what will my colleagues be like, I wont be able to do the job, what if I go bright red (I do that a lot). I have tried talking my fears over with my partner but because he is so laid back and tells me why worry it won't change anything then its not really helpful! I honestly feel like not going in!

I think I'm so used to being at home in my safe environment I'm so scared to go to this new job. Its really odd because when my mum was alive she was very similar always worrying and mum stopped working as soon as she could. I just want to be confident and normal and happy to go out to work!

If anyone has any tips would really appreciate it, I'm sure I will have no sleep tonight which wont help. I tried to do some mindfulness courses but I honestly don't think anything will help me at the moment.

Thanks guys x

[PunkyFish]

Hi all,

Just new here to the forums but just wondered if I could get some advice. Basically I am due to start a new job tomorrow and I am feeling so nervous and anxious I have not slept all week for worrying about it!

I was in a great job that I loved, think because I was usually on my own in the office so didn't have to deal with many people I was then made redundant. Since then I have had two temp jobs (one which the staff were really bitchy towards me) then I have got used to just being at home for the last 3 months but knew I had to start earning money again because me and my partner couldn't live off his wage forever. Anyway I was offered a new part time admin role and feel so scared to go in tomorrow I feel like crying all the time and am worried sick.7

I'm worrying about the most stupid things from it has a small car park so how will I get my car in, will I park in somebody's spot how will I get my car out to what will my colleagues be like, I wont be able to do the job, what if I go bright red (I do that a lot). I have tried talking my fears over with my partner but because he is so laid back and tells me why worry it won't change anything then its not really helpful! I honestly feel like not going in!

I think I'm so used to being at home in my safe environment I'm so scared to go to this new job. Its really odd because when my mum was alive she was very similar always worrying and mum stopped working as soon as she could. I just want to be confident and normal and happy to go out to work!

If anyone has any tips would really appreciate it, I'm sure I will have no sleep tonight which wont help. I tried to do some mindfulness courses but I honestly don't think anything will help me at the moment.

Thanks guys x

:hugs:

Hi

Firstly well done on getting your new job!

I have been the same in the past when I have changed jobs. I have worried from not being able to do a job, where to park, what my colleagues are going to be like and so much more. When I started my previous job I don't think I slept for about two weeks in the run up to starting it, I felt sick all the time and could not stop crying. It's a horrible feeling so I know what you're going through right now. It does and it will get easier for you.

If you're worried about parking, could you maybe park somewhere else instead of works car park, say a close by public car park or maybe on the side of a road where it is legal to park. This really helped me when I was in my last job as the car park where I worked was tiny so I parked elsewhere and had about a five minute walk to work which really helped lessen my worry about parking. If you want to park in works car park then why not go a little bit earlier to ensure you get a good parking space.

Your employer is not going to expect you to walk straight into the job and know how to do it. What I find helpful is to take a notepad and write some notes like say how to do certain tasks in a step by step guide when I'm training which helps put my mind to rest.

It's helped me in the past by having a quick word with my manager to say that I'm feeling nervous on the first day. At least then your manager is aware of how you feel. Your work colleagues have also at some time must have been through starting a new job so they are going to be aware of how you are feeling as they would have been through it themselves at some point in their lives.

I try and break up the working day into sections. So say first focus on getting something to eat in the morning and getting ready, then focus on getting there and getting your car parked, next focus on getting through to say break time and then for the rest of the day you can focus on getting to the end of the day. If you feel like things are getting on top of you, make an excuse to go to the toilet and take five minutes out away from the office. If you are feeling panicky try and take deep breaths through your nose, hold the breath in for a few seconds and then release through your mouth. Keep doing this until you calm down.

You are in control of your mind. Simply try to accept that you have these thoughts and feelings but that these feelings and thoughts do not pose a risk to you as you are in control. Just accept these feelings as simply thoughts and feelings. Then try and carry on with the task in hand and the thoughts and feelings should ease.

As the days past by you hopefully will get use to your new work environment and colleagues. I always find once the first few days are over with the worry does get less and less for me as you begin to get use to your new surroundings and job. Keep in mind that you won't be the new person forever and your confidence in your new job will grow. Take one step at a time.

You will be fine. :)

[brooklyn79]

Hey thank you for your kind words. I'm actually in bed and had a little cry and thinking I need some sleep!!

I get what you are saying and I keep re reading your post just to try and get it in my head and feel bit better that you understand how I'm feeling, my other half looks at me like I'm mad at times so I often bottle my fears up. I will try set off early and check out the parking and if it looks hard work il maybe go to a car park I can pay at then I could ask what parking situation is. Just can't afford to pay every day as part time job.

I might write notes in morning too about breaking day up and hope that gets me through the day. I think being off for so long I look at my house as a safe haven and would happily stay here curled up in my bed with my cat where I'm in control and I'm charge.

Really appreciate your help and I'm hopeful by 5pm tomorrow I'm feeling better although not sure I will but need to get through this fear.

xx