BMember
20-01-17, 00:06
Hey, first time poster. Think just typing down my thoughts might help me. Got a feeling this is going to be a long post.
I'm starting a new job on Monday in a call centre and have been freaking out a bit the past few days. This will be my first proper full time job since 2010. That job was ended with me breaking down, being diagnosed with depression and anxiety and taking time off only to go back to education to get a degree. This lead to me becoming a professional in that field. Due to my depression and anxiety, as well as other factors, this fell apart and I ended up walking away from it. I'd basically worked for nearly a decade to get the career I wanted and then it feel apart after about 10 months. This was a few years ago and since then I'd move cities for a year before returning to my Mum's flat. I'm now in my 30s and have been living back at home for two years without being able to find a job or really having a life. At the start of this year I decided things had to change so I started applying for call centre jobs. I've worked in call centres before and know they are the easiest job to get in the city I'm in. After two years of looking for a bar job with no luck after three weeks of looking for a call centre job, I got offered two. One of which I'm starting on Monday.
Thing is, I'm really freaking out about it now. It's not only the idea of working full time again but also of having to sit at a desk and do the actual call centre job for hours a day. I keep telling myself that it's money which will help me to move out and have a life and make me a better person but everytime all I can think is; you are going to hate this. I know there are millions of people that do shitty jobs for hours everyday. How do these people do it? What keeps them going to get up everyday and sacrifice their time to a job they hate? I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to handle doing this job but feel there isn't any other way to fix the situation I'm in. I want to be the type of person that can do a job they hate but I don't think I am.
I'm starting a new job on Monday in a call centre and have been freaking out a bit the past few days. This will be my first proper full time job since 2010. That job was ended with me breaking down, being diagnosed with depression and anxiety and taking time off only to go back to education to get a degree. This lead to me becoming a professional in that field. Due to my depression and anxiety, as well as other factors, this fell apart and I ended up walking away from it. I'd basically worked for nearly a decade to get the career I wanted and then it feel apart after about 10 months. This was a few years ago and since then I'd move cities for a year before returning to my Mum's flat. I'm now in my 30s and have been living back at home for two years without being able to find a job or really having a life. At the start of this year I decided things had to change so I started applying for call centre jobs. I've worked in call centres before and know they are the easiest job to get in the city I'm in. After two years of looking for a bar job with no luck after three weeks of looking for a call centre job, I got offered two. One of which I'm starting on Monday.
Thing is, I'm really freaking out about it now. It's not only the idea of working full time again but also of having to sit at a desk and do the actual call centre job for hours a day. I keep telling myself that it's money which will help me to move out and have a life and make me a better person but everytime all I can think is; you are going to hate this. I know there are millions of people that do shitty jobs for hours everyday. How do these people do it? What keeps them going to get up everyday and sacrifice their time to a job they hate? I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to handle doing this job but feel there isn't any other way to fix the situation I'm in. I want to be the type of person that can do a job they hate but I don't think I am.