Lucky Tune
20-01-17, 17:40
So it all started with some feelings of breath shortness back in November.
One time, it got too far. I started hyperventilating, and in a few seconds I had a full-blown panic attack.
It was a terrible experience, and not only one. It repeated multiple times, until I was left a broken nervous mess.
Around that time I started runniong around doing all kinds of tests.
Echocardiogram, blood tests, abdominal ultrasound, chest x-ray and more and more - all returned clear.
I had a few issues exposed on brain MRI, but, it seems, they are nothing too serious.
I could as well just calm down and revert to my former self, but... There is still one thing that doesn't let me be at rest.
Right, fear of brain aneurysm.
I can't tell enough how terrified I am of it. I literally lose sleep at times, shivering as I try to drive away thoughts of having this terrible condition.
I know ruptures are rare.
I know I am one of the least likely people to have it. My father, who smokes and drinks like there is no tomorrow, was perfectly healthy, and so am I apparently. Even though he had heart attack (had it coming), he's doing just fine now.
If anything, my family has a history of heart problems, but those appeared only in elderly people.
Finally, 24 year old male with no smoking/drinking/drug abuse history, this much should rule out many risk factors.
Yet, my mind yearned to be reassured that I am CERTAINLY healthy in that regard. That my brain blood vessels are all good.
I didn't have enough money to perform MRA, so neurologist suggested that I do a power Doppler ultrasound of brain blood vessels and neck arteries as a viable alternative.
Both tests returned perfectly clear.
But now I question - what if it wasn't enough? Could something be missed?
I am having an appointment with neurologist tomorrow, but just a simple thought of aneyrusm is enough to tear down my rationality and replace it with a vicious circle of irrational obsessive thoughts.
Is there any way to break out of obsessing over this? And no, I don't have money for MRA yet.
One time, it got too far. I started hyperventilating, and in a few seconds I had a full-blown panic attack.
It was a terrible experience, and not only one. It repeated multiple times, until I was left a broken nervous mess.
Around that time I started runniong around doing all kinds of tests.
Echocardiogram, blood tests, abdominal ultrasound, chest x-ray and more and more - all returned clear.
I had a few issues exposed on brain MRI, but, it seems, they are nothing too serious.
I could as well just calm down and revert to my former self, but... There is still one thing that doesn't let me be at rest.
Right, fear of brain aneurysm.
I can't tell enough how terrified I am of it. I literally lose sleep at times, shivering as I try to drive away thoughts of having this terrible condition.
I know ruptures are rare.
I know I am one of the least likely people to have it. My father, who smokes and drinks like there is no tomorrow, was perfectly healthy, and so am I apparently. Even though he had heart attack (had it coming), he's doing just fine now.
If anything, my family has a history of heart problems, but those appeared only in elderly people.
Finally, 24 year old male with no smoking/drinking/drug abuse history, this much should rule out many risk factors.
Yet, my mind yearned to be reassured that I am CERTAINLY healthy in that regard. That my brain blood vessels are all good.
I didn't have enough money to perform MRA, so neurologist suggested that I do a power Doppler ultrasound of brain blood vessels and neck arteries as a viable alternative.
Both tests returned perfectly clear.
But now I question - what if it wasn't enough? Could something be missed?
I am having an appointment with neurologist tomorrow, but just a simple thought of aneyrusm is enough to tear down my rationality and replace it with a vicious circle of irrational obsessive thoughts.
Is there any way to break out of obsessing over this? And no, I don't have money for MRA yet.