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[ell19]

hello, just wanted to introduce myself so maybe i would find someone in my same situation. i'm 19 years old, have suffered of anxiety for eight months. i used to live in italy (where everything started) and then on august i moved to london where i think it got worse. so everything started on may, it was a normal day, i remember on the evening that i fought really bad with my parents (don't even remember why) and i went out with my friends. i was going to meet them and then my upper back started to hurt. i looked on the internet what it could be and everything i found was "cancer in your lungs". i didn't think about that a lot at first place. then everything started to be horrible. i was with my friends and i started to feel strange. i couldn't breathe, my chest was hurting, my head felt so light, i was shaking. i thought i was having a heart attack. and then i start thinking "what if that cancer is real". since then i've never been the same person. i became a completely different person. always scared, sad, i don't feel brave anymore. everyday i have to take enough strength to survive during the day. because yes, i don't feel like living anymore. i feel like i'm trying to survive every single day.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya ell19 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[SLA]

Hi Ell,

Welcome to the site.

What state of mind are you in at the moment? What does your mind seem to get drawn to focussing on?

J

[ell19]

Hi Ell,

Welcome to the site.

What state of mind are you in at the moment? What does your mind seem to get drawn to focussing on?

J

since that day my mind has always been stocked with that thought about the lungs cancer. that made my health anxiety a lot worse. so everyday i focus a lot on my health, on how i'm feeling and it seems like everyday i find out something new that makes me worry.

[SLA]

Cool. Sounds like a familiar story, and one I have been through.

Let's unpick it, and put it all in perspective.

So on the day it happened you fought with your parents, so I guess you weren't in the best frame of mind. That's cool, it happens...

You get a pain in the back that you decide to Google. (Its a pain in the back!)


everything i found was "cancer in your lungs".

So thats bullshit right? Or did everything you find literally say that?

I just spent 3 minutes reading about it, and nothing said cancer in your lungs.

So, it's either an exaggeration, or your misrembering. Either way, it's not right, and I guess you had primed your brain to find the worse possible scenario.

(Please bear in mind at this point, I am trying to help you. x)

I say this, because I used to do the same thing. Anyway...

When you saw the C word, it triggered a panic attack.

At this point the brain goes into fight or flight. It looks for threats and reasons to worry. So it looks for reasons why its cancer, and because it goes looking for them, it finds them even where they don’t exist.

You then form an irrational belief that you have cancer.

Then you had intrusive thoughts…


and then i start thinking "what if that cancer is real"

Which is quite a funny one, because it suggests you know its not real.

----

So what is the answer?

You need to become highly self-aware, and realise that this mess you are in is the result of a stressed and anxious sub-consious brain.

The rational, logical conscious part (i.e You) needs to take the reigns back, and start working on strategies to help you overcome your anxiety, and to beat it.

[ell19]

Cool. Sounds like a familiar story, and one I have been through.

Let's unpick it, and put it all in perspective.

So on the day it happened you fought with your parents, so I guess you weren't in the best frame of mind. That's cool, it happens...

You get a pain in the back that you decide to Google. (Its a pain in the back!)



So thats bullshit right? Or did everything you find literally say that?

I just spent 3 minutes reading about it, and nothing said cancer in your lungs.

So, it's either an exaggeration, or your misrembering. Either way, it's not right, and I guess you had primed your brain to find the worse possible scenario.

(Please bear in mind at this point, I am trying to help you. x)

I say this, because I used to do the same thing. Anyway...

When you saw the C word, it triggered a panic attack.

At this point the brain goes into fight or flight. It looks for threats and reasons to worry. So it looks for reasons why its cancer, and because it goes looking for them, it finds them even where they don’t exist.

You then form an irrational belief that you have cancer.

Then you had intrusive thoughts…



Which is quite a funny one, because it suggests you know its not real.

----

So what is the answer?

You need to become highly self-aware, and realise that this mess you are in is the result of a stressed and anxious sub-consious brain.

The rational, logical conscious part (i.e You) needs to take the reigns back, and start working on strategies to help you overcome your anxiety, and to beat it.

when i started to feel that pain on my back I also started to find it difficult to breathe. i couldn't take deep breaths and if i did my back was hurting. that's what i looked for on the internet and i think that's why i found those answers.
i always think that having a cancer on your lungs at 19 it's quite odd (i think) but my mind doesn't want to move on. i always associate that pain in my back to those answers on the internet. and the fact that in eight months it didn't get better but just worse made everything worse.

[SLA]

my mind doesn't want to move on.

I can tell!

So, whats the plan?

[ell19]

I can tell!

So, whats the plan?

i wish i knew it. i'm seeing a therapist, there are days when i'm okay. the problem is when anxiety came back really hard and makes me feel really down for weeks or months and then everything start again. i feel okay, anxiety comes back, i feel awful, i try to be strong, and again and again.