The Googlepocalypse
23-01-17, 20:43
Hello everyone, 26 year old male from Scotland and long time lurker of the forum here! Since some of the topics and advice given to others has helped me tremendously the past few years, I thought it might be nice to share my story and issues i've been struggling with recently in the hopes that anyone out there who might also be having similar problems will feel a bit calmer knowing that there are many others out there who suffer from this often debilitating mental illness every day.
I've always been an anxious person, even as a kid I always felt like I was different. Shy, anxious and generally screaming my head off anytime I had to go anywhere near a doctor or hospital. For ten long years i've suffered with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety and Health Anxiety. Sometimes i'd suffer from them all at once, sometimes i'd suffer from one for a while then it would go away for a while only for it to come back years later.
But i'm getting ahead of myself. My first panic attack and diagnosis of anxiety is one i'm sure many people here can relate to. Got chest pains, couldn't breathe, numbness and all that other good stuff that instantly makes you think you're about to die of a heart attack. Didn't help i'd been googling heart attacks 3 days prior to the panic attack.
My mother always used to say to me "You're such a hypochondriac. Stop poking and prodding yourself, there's nothing wrong with you." Funny how I can recall the words clearly but they're quick to disappear the minute I feel those anxious tendencies and self checking compulsions coming back.
So we've established i've got health anxiety, what else is new? Let's have a look at what fueled my health anxiety panic attacks over the past few weeks:
- Swollen Gland in the neck caused by a viral infection. Absolutely convinced myself it was Lymphoma and that I was absolutely going to die. Right down to the disturbing thoughts of you laying in a hospital bed surrounded by Orphans. Of course the gland did go down very quickly in the space of a few days, though the prodding and poking made it very angry and it's unlikely to go back to the size it was before. Doctor checked it and was happy to tell me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. Phew, one problem down!
- Serotonin Syndrome caused by ONE antidepressant. This is not my finest moment. I recently weaned myself off Cipralex 40mg and started on Mirtazapine 15mg. A month later it was put up to 30mg. Then another month, 45mg. Reading the instructions for the Mirtazapine brought Serotonin Syndrome to my attention and I foolishly point blank refused to take them for 3 nights because I was terrified that MIDWAY through treatment i'd suddenly get Serotonin Syndrome. The withdrawal symptoms kicked in and I reluctantly swallowed the 45mg tablet that night, positive that I was going to die. I didn't of course because the chances of such a thing happening are so low i'd be more likely to win the lotto...that I don't even play.
- Bowel Cancer worries brought on by low iron levels and stomach problems. Hoo boy...this one is a doozy. After the blood results came back from the swollen lymph node fiasco I was told I have low iron levels and that I have to take supplements. No problem, i've had this issue before and it hasn't come back at all until 4 years later. But wait...my stomach doesn't feel right...I feel constipated, pressure in the rectum and having to force things out despite me never being a regular once a day person. The stomach cramps and strange movements have been a problem for over 3 years and all of a sudden i'm worried about them? Why? If there were anything seriously wrong with me, I wouldn't be sitting here. I've had an endoscopy and was diagnosed with GERD years ago and as such i've been on Omeprazole 40mg for over 11 years! Of course my iron is going to be low, my diet is awful, I skip meals and eat too much junk food all while my antacids are lowering my iron absorption. As for the stomach problems? Anxiety causes bowel issues, stressing every day about your health and forcing it causes issues and you've just finished a 2 week course of antibiotics, of course you have bowel problems.
I'm rambling now but I will say that i've decided enough is enough with the health anxiety and my doctor has gladly referred me to see the psychiatrist to work through these issues, my first appointment is in a few weeks and I am VERY excited to start working through this problem. I realise this post probably seems strange and that it might even look like i'm rationalizing my own problems, but I find it's quite theraputic and a good reminder that all these problems are caused by my anxiety.
I hope this helps someone out there and I thank anyone in advance for listening!
I've always been an anxious person, even as a kid I always felt like I was different. Shy, anxious and generally screaming my head off anytime I had to go anywhere near a doctor or hospital. For ten long years i've suffered with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety and Health Anxiety. Sometimes i'd suffer from them all at once, sometimes i'd suffer from one for a while then it would go away for a while only for it to come back years later.
But i'm getting ahead of myself. My first panic attack and diagnosis of anxiety is one i'm sure many people here can relate to. Got chest pains, couldn't breathe, numbness and all that other good stuff that instantly makes you think you're about to die of a heart attack. Didn't help i'd been googling heart attacks 3 days prior to the panic attack.
My mother always used to say to me "You're such a hypochondriac. Stop poking and prodding yourself, there's nothing wrong with you." Funny how I can recall the words clearly but they're quick to disappear the minute I feel those anxious tendencies and self checking compulsions coming back.
So we've established i've got health anxiety, what else is new? Let's have a look at what fueled my health anxiety panic attacks over the past few weeks:
- Swollen Gland in the neck caused by a viral infection. Absolutely convinced myself it was Lymphoma and that I was absolutely going to die. Right down to the disturbing thoughts of you laying in a hospital bed surrounded by Orphans. Of course the gland did go down very quickly in the space of a few days, though the prodding and poking made it very angry and it's unlikely to go back to the size it was before. Doctor checked it and was happy to tell me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. Phew, one problem down!
- Serotonin Syndrome caused by ONE antidepressant. This is not my finest moment. I recently weaned myself off Cipralex 40mg and started on Mirtazapine 15mg. A month later it was put up to 30mg. Then another month, 45mg. Reading the instructions for the Mirtazapine brought Serotonin Syndrome to my attention and I foolishly point blank refused to take them for 3 nights because I was terrified that MIDWAY through treatment i'd suddenly get Serotonin Syndrome. The withdrawal symptoms kicked in and I reluctantly swallowed the 45mg tablet that night, positive that I was going to die. I didn't of course because the chances of such a thing happening are so low i'd be more likely to win the lotto...that I don't even play.
- Bowel Cancer worries brought on by low iron levels and stomach problems. Hoo boy...this one is a doozy. After the blood results came back from the swollen lymph node fiasco I was told I have low iron levels and that I have to take supplements. No problem, i've had this issue before and it hasn't come back at all until 4 years later. But wait...my stomach doesn't feel right...I feel constipated, pressure in the rectum and having to force things out despite me never being a regular once a day person. The stomach cramps and strange movements have been a problem for over 3 years and all of a sudden i'm worried about them? Why? If there were anything seriously wrong with me, I wouldn't be sitting here. I've had an endoscopy and was diagnosed with GERD years ago and as such i've been on Omeprazole 40mg for over 11 years! Of course my iron is going to be low, my diet is awful, I skip meals and eat too much junk food all while my antacids are lowering my iron absorption. As for the stomach problems? Anxiety causes bowel issues, stressing every day about your health and forcing it causes issues and you've just finished a 2 week course of antibiotics, of course you have bowel problems.
I'm rambling now but I will say that i've decided enough is enough with the health anxiety and my doctor has gladly referred me to see the psychiatrist to work through these issues, my first appointment is in a few weeks and I am VERY excited to start working through this problem. I realise this post probably seems strange and that it might even look like i'm rationalizing my own problems, but I find it's quite theraputic and a good reminder that all these problems are caused by my anxiety.
I hope this helps someone out there and I thank anyone in advance for listening!