Breast cancer worry please read

[Sarahjt]

Hello everybody,
This may be long so make yourself a cuppa and get comfy!
Bit of background first- I have a history with health anxiety. It started after my father died 8 years ago, I never went to the doctors afraid I had different conditions, I recognized I was not thinking straight and went to the doctors and asked for help with anxiety. I had CBT and counselling and this helped a lot. I am still quite an anxious person in general and get bad thoughts a lot but I am usually able to rationalize and not get stuck in the anxious cycle again.
A bit before Christmas a spot came up on my left breast. It didn't have a head and only a small amount of clear liquid came out when i squeezed- it was different to my usual spots I get. I googled and inflammatory breast cancer popped up. I did worry a bit but then i decided it was unlikely and ignored it.
Then not the Friday just gone the one before I had just came home and I felt a burning sensation on the same breast around the nipple. I went and had a look and around the top of my nipple was red, it felt bruised when I touched it, you could see something was going on from the inside, the edge of my areola was really raised and the breast looked swollen. Googled again- inflammatory breast cancer showed up again, like it was all that showed up no matter how I worded my Google search. Also I read ibc is often misdiagnosed as an infection.
By the Sunday the rash and swelling had gone down quite a bit. I went to see a doctor on the Monday who diagnosed an infection, I showed him my breast and he noted swelling but he refused to do an exam and gave me antibiotics and told me to come back in a week. I was hoping for an exam so I was really upset after seeing the doctor, he done nothing to relieve my anxiety, he asked no questions like family history or am I breastfeeding (which I'm not) I also have not felt I'll like I've had an infection. He just said because of my age (29) BC is unlikely.
Well I took the antibiotics, the rash and areola swelling has stayed away, I feel the breast does look more swollen than the right one. I'm feeling pain and burning sensations all over the breast and armpit but I don't know how much of this is real or caused by anxiety.
I went back to the doctors yesterday, he didn't even look this time and refused to examine again. He did refer me the breast clinic and my appointment is actually tomorrow! They managed to squeeze me in because I had another appointment on the day they wanted to see me.
I am terrified! I am not being rational about this at all- I just can't be, every time I think positive something tells me I'm not OK. This whole experience has sent my ha back years. I have 2 little boys (5&10) and I'm so scared they will lose me.
I have had a biopsy on a lump in that breast about 8 years ago, my breasts are really lumpy anyway and I just don't know what is normal and what is not. About 2 years ago I went to the doctor about lumps which she reasurred was just breast tissue that has been damaged from having children, she said she would see me again in 4 weeks but I was so reassured I didn't go back! I'm so worried there was something there and now its been 2 years!
I did use this forum before when my ha was bad and it was a great help. My partner is being so supportive but I just feel really alone. I know I can post on here and act as irrational as I need to and not feel like a weirdo. 😆
Sorry its so long and for any typos, im on my phone, and well done if you have managed to read it all without falling asleep 😁
Any support anyone can give will mean so much x

[TheGroundhog]

You are doing the right thing, you have seen a gp, you are now being seen by the breast clinic which is tomorrow.

Worrying will not make any difference to anything. Leave your boob in your bra, there is no need to look at it or check it between now and the appointment tomorrow, anything you see/don't see/think you see is immaterial now, leave it to the experts.

Do not google, please if you can, stay off of here, don't use this evening worrying, checking, getting upset. Instead do something nice with your kids, a film, a puzzle, baking, wrestling.

Do not check, look, poke, prod, google, or seek reassurance. Just accept there is nothing you can do until you visit the clinic tomorrow, accept that you feel anxious (don't try to squash it) if necessary say aloud 'I feel anxious right now, but I am going to choose to (insert fun activity).......', and then get on with something else.

Good luck, I've been there for many many years, you can do this.

[Stecakes]

2 years is a very long time for something sinister to be
Present without causing a lot more symptoms. As said above,
You're doing the right thing seeing gp, don't try and guess in the meantime.
I think you're doctor will be reassuring you once again.

[Sarahjt]

Thanks for your replies,
My appointment is at 3, trying not to panic- I know it won't change anything.
Do you think I should mention my health anxiety to the doctor? I want him to understand how worried I have been and how its set me back, but I don't want him to think I've made it all up in my head and not take it serious. When I started to get symptoms I had not been thinking about my breasts at all x

[Stecakes]

I wouldn't, because after they tell you you're ok,
You'll spend the rest of the day wondering if they just blamed it on your anxiety.

[TheGroundhog]

How did you get on yesterday? :)