anyone else panic when u make a mistake at work? [Archive]

KarloShen

29-01-17, 22:13

I have been at my job for almost 3 years and every time a mistake is brought to my attention by upper management I automatically think I'm on borrowed time. many times it's very demeaning and makes you feel an inch tall. I dread those emails but am getting better about not having a heart pounder and ruining my evening but have to admit I still obsess about it a little. Anyone else do this? :shrug:

This is actually more common that you think.

A lot of people are raised to repect the authorities and when you get punished or talked-down by them, then you should feel bad. And authorities can be bosses and upper managers as well.

I used to have the same reaction as you do. I think it was even worse, whenever I saw a smile that seemed out of order I thought to myslef: "Well, this is it, I can clearly see that they don't like me and I'm getting fired pretty soon."

Criticism would totally smash me, I would feel down for hours, and the worst part was that I wasn't able to do any work, while I was feeling that way.

The solution that helped me.

I started to get into Stoicism that lead me to CBT. I was having a lot of issues, and this particular exercise I did for depression, but I adapted it for work as well and it did wonders.

Basically you make two columns on your computer, I did it in an excell file.

In one you write the automatic thought that you're having and in the other you write down the rational response.

Here is one from my log:

Automatic thought: Daniel definitely thinks that I'm a total looser and will probably pretty soon exclude me from the main team, because he thinks that I'm a total looser.

*comment*
Just to put in some context, I had no basis for making the assumption that he looks down on me, that was just all in my head.

Rational reply: I have no basis to think that I'm getting fired, I'm doing a good job, maybe not the best that I could, but better than others here. Also, noone has ever told me that Daniel looks down on me and I've made that one only on my own ideas and as history shows me I'm a terrible judge when it comes to this. Multiple times when I've asked people if there is a problem or have I've done anything wrong when I think I have, they've always told the, that everything is cool.

I did this exercise daily and still do it. Within the first few days I was feeling a lot better.

Every time you get upset just write down the thought that makes you upset and come up with a rational response.

The only rule here is that you have to absolutely believe the response that you write down. !