Just need some help from my anxiety peeps

[hopeful927]

So, I go for my colonoscopie next week Wednesday. I think I have been dealing with my anxiety ok, it comes and goes. Once I go and if the test is clear it will be so relieving. Anyway, this is what I am currently struggling with. I'm evaluating my bowel movements so closely now, it is making me worried about the test. Today it felt like I had a little bit of loose stool, and of course when I look it up, that is a sign of colon cancer. My appetite has also been so off, I almost have to force myself to eat. I'm super alert to what my bowel movement looks like, checking the bristol chart. When I read the symptoms of colon cancer I have like 3 of them, nausea, diarrhea and loss of appetite. Here comes the panic attack. How can I make it until Wednesday and I am so afraid they will find something sinister. Please help!

[hopeful927]

Just had a loose stool again and my anxiety is so over the top. I'm so afraid of Wednesday. Please help NMP community

[pulisa]

I really think your anxiety over the colonoscopy is upsetting your digestive system. No matter how anxious you get it won't change the result of the colonoscopy so the positive thing is that you are being thoroughly checked out and won't be left wondering any longer..

To me these symptoms sound very common and could well be linked to IBS and certainly nothing sinister. You will get a definitive answer very soon and once you get the test out of the way you'll get the reassurance only the colonoscopy can give you. It's easy for me to say try not to worry because you will but please try not to assume the worse when you have no reason to?

[StephA]

You need to relax. Wednesday will be here soon enough. Is it this Wednesday? The worst part of the colonoscopy is the prep the day before. I don't envy you. Lol! Anxiety wreaks havoc on the gut. Have you see the list of anxiety symptoms on the forum? Loose stool can be caused by so many things, and most of them are not anything sinister. I have IBS-D and have loose/watery diarrhea every week! It sucks and does cause my anxiety to skyrocket but I just live with it. As long as you don't have a fever, blood, etc., I'll bet it's your anxiety. I'm no doctor, however, but speaking from experience, stress will always get my bowels in an uproar. Calm down and hang in there!

[hopeful927]

So today was prep day, what a long day. So scared and worried about tomorrow I just feel like I am going to throw up.

[hopeful927]

Well I am sitting here waiting to be called for my colonoscopy. Nerves are through the roof. I'll let you know how it goes.

[rainbow]

Hope it's all gone well x

[hopeful927]

Well it is over. The doctor removed the lump, which was extremely painful as it was in the area with lots of nerve endings. He said that it could be a thrombized hemmeroid, a wart but that it was not cancer. I asked him how he knew that and he said because it was fibrous. I have to see him in3-4 weeks to see biopsy results but part of me is relaxed and feel like it is over. Part of me still worries that maybe he got it wrong and it could be something. How can I control my brain in these next few weeks. I wanted it to all be over today but I still feel I have to deal with it.

[hopeful927]

Anyone know how I can control my thoughts? My brain just started saying " I wonder if the doctor just said it wasn't cancer because I struggle with anxiety"
Help?

[Pigeon]

Hopeful927, he didn't say it because he knows you are anxious, he said it because that is his diagnosis.

If he had any doubts, he would have said he couldn't be certain and would have to wait for the biopsy results.

There's nothing for you to worry about any more. It's all OK. :hugs:

[hopeful927]

Just finding it so hard to just trust the doctor. Why do I do this to myself. My worst fear is that these next 4 weeks are going to be full of anxiety and stress. I really want to invest in my family again, and start living but this anxiety just keeps pulling me down.

[TimeSoup]

Pal, for the sake of argument, let's say you got the worst scenario: colon C (which i highly doubt given your symptoms). You must know that it's a very teatable one, it's a cancer that got very big attention from the research and the Pharma bidness and there are a LOT of options even at advanced stages. Heck I know of a guy who is with a stage iv since more than a decade, he practicality sees itS malady as a chronicall disease know.
Doo't worry there are but minute chances u have one, and if you do, there'll be plenty of fight let to beat that sh...

[hopeful927]

Thank you for your response. I agree with you. The problem I have right now is that I do not take what the doctor is saying to me as truth. I am not trusting him. Most people when a doctor says it is not cancer they think, ok, end of story. Why do I always second guess them? It is so frustrating.

[pulisa]

Will you believe anything the doctor tells you? Or is it purely the "it's not cancer" bit? that you don't accept?

Will you accept the biopsy results? Would you question a benign biopsy result?

[hopeful927]

Yah it is just the cancer that I wouldn't trust. Funny how my anxiety mind works. The nurse just called to make my appointment for results which again sent me into a panic attack. Grrrrr. I tried to explain that my anxiety is so high, and if the doctor could just call me when the pathology results are in, I would then schedule an appointment after that. Getting a call that the results are in, and then having to wait a day or two will be torture for me. I think she was getting frustrated. Sometimes it is so hard when people don't understand anxiety.

[hopeful927]

I'm really struggling. How can I make it 4 weeks to wait to hear the biopsie results. I'm never going to make it.

[TimeSoup]

Yes u are. Just tell yourself that you re entitled to be scared two days or so before the results. Before that accept not to be worried. It's just à state of mind u need to have.