cfafly
28-01-17, 03:05
A month ago, I dislocated my left knee which is on my dominant leg from landing a handstand in a funny way. Although this did not change anything about my sport, I still have anxiety about the very thought of it. It was so painful when it happened, it changed how I act during athletics.
To practices I wear a knee brace for some extra support since we usually run. Even though it has been a month now, I still feel the need to wear it in case my knee cap pops out and moves to the side of my leg again. Others have expressed worry that I am becoming dependent on the brace and it is unhealthy for a natural recovery.
But I just can't stop thinking about what happened. It hurt so much it actually changed my mindset. I now walk slowly up stairs and hop around like a chicken when I am forced to run. I sometimes even find my left hand beside where my kneecap came out just in case it happens again while I'm walking. And I have completely given up handstands which used to be good for building my upper body strength.
I have also become obsessed with regularly checking my knees to see if they are still symmetrical. I find myself absentmindedly running my fingers on the bones and tendons in my knees to see if they are all still there and that they match up. I also have a big thing about kneeling and bending them. I'm just so scared that it will happen again now that it has happened before.
While I have no knowledge of having a torn meniscus, a commonly damaged tendon in patellar dislocations that needs surgery to restore, I still believe I did some sort of damage. I, myself snapped my kneecap back into place a few seconds after it happened. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to avoid pinching a nerve, tearing a few tendons, or shattering my actual kneecap. But my knee is not as functional as it was previous to the accident.
I still feel pain when completing certain exercises or when putting weight on the knee. I fear that my knee will never be the same again. I also fear the knee's ability to function in my older years. If it were to lock up and I would fall, it would potentially cause a horrible effect.
I'm unsure whether I should continue on this topic or try to pretend like my kneecap never even came out of place.
To practices I wear a knee brace for some extra support since we usually run. Even though it has been a month now, I still feel the need to wear it in case my knee cap pops out and moves to the side of my leg again. Others have expressed worry that I am becoming dependent on the brace and it is unhealthy for a natural recovery.
But I just can't stop thinking about what happened. It hurt so much it actually changed my mindset. I now walk slowly up stairs and hop around like a chicken when I am forced to run. I sometimes even find my left hand beside where my kneecap came out just in case it happens again while I'm walking. And I have completely given up handstands which used to be good for building my upper body strength.
I have also become obsessed with regularly checking my knees to see if they are still symmetrical. I find myself absentmindedly running my fingers on the bones and tendons in my knees to see if they are all still there and that they match up. I also have a big thing about kneeling and bending them. I'm just so scared that it will happen again now that it has happened before.
While I have no knowledge of having a torn meniscus, a commonly damaged tendon in patellar dislocations that needs surgery to restore, I still believe I did some sort of damage. I, myself snapped my kneecap back into place a few seconds after it happened. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to avoid pinching a nerve, tearing a few tendons, or shattering my actual kneecap. But my knee is not as functional as it was previous to the accident.
I still feel pain when completing certain exercises or when putting weight on the knee. I fear that my knee will never be the same again. I also fear the knee's ability to function in my older years. If it were to lock up and I would fall, it would potentially cause a horrible effect.
I'm unsure whether I should continue on this topic or try to pretend like my kneecap never even came out of place.