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Joydivider
01-02-17, 10:44
Hi everyone.

I didnt know how to title this so a little background on me.

Im now in my early fifties and more recently its all been getting on top of me. I have suffered some real anxiety attacks or what I think are anxiety attacks...waking up at 4am with short sharp breaths a pain in the back of the lung area and just curling up into a ball while riding it out.

I can be ok on some days but for days or even weeks at a time I just cant face the day and go back to bed where I feel some sense of safety more than anything.

I have become very reclusive with part of me seeking comfort in that. From a proud person I cant seem to get any job and indeed seem scared of work now, not in a lazy way but pure anxiety. Indeed its getting so deep that Im seeing all the problems with dealing with people and none of the benefits.

I dont know what the future holds and cant see much of a future so its deep issues triggering this

Ive been unemployed for a while and the dwp have been playing a good cop bad cop routine with me and have advised I go and see the doctor. Ive been.....some doctors have been nice and another couldnt care less. I was handed an IAPT prescription for therapy. I booked it once, it took two months then I couldnt face it. I thought I was feeling better but the truth is after a wad of what I thought was patronising literature, I just thought it would be embarrassing to go.

I now know that I have had depressive tendencies all my life and feel its all far deeper than that literature was suggesting

I intend to book it again. I found this site today and intend to read all the threads.

I wondered what people on the forum may think of The IAPT ( Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) prescription or the help I need. Thankyou

venusbluejeans
01-02-17, 10:51
Hiya Joydivider and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

Joydivider
01-02-17, 10:57
Thankyou I will do and I was starting to browse them before writing this post

I intend to build up as much information as I can.

Ive coped better than this in the past but it all seems to be getting out of control

Bigboyuk
01-02-17, 11:22
Welcome aboard Joydivider to NMP :) Hope you find what you are looking for!! Cheers

MyNameIsTerry
01-02-17, 12:52
Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

IAPT was the framework brought in to sit in between your GP and the Community Mental Health Teams (CMHT). It took ages to access the CMHT, mine was 12 months minimum wait when I had my breakdown 10 years ago and when I relapsed about 5 years ago the IAPT had come in.

They have a website if you need to understand more. But if you Google "NHS IAPT" it will pull up the NHS Choices webpage with a search function for your area. You can usually self refer now.

They offer Level 2 & 3 services. Level 1 being your GP, Level 4 is the CMHT & above. Level 2 is quicker to access but shorter in length & intensity, Guided Self Help, group workshop, etc. Level 3 is more one on one CBT. It's either CBT based or another discipline but IAPT are lesser trained than the CMHT, hence them creating this service to speed up getting help, so they offer shorter and less multidisciplinary services.

It's worth trying, you will learn from it. Whether it means recovery is a very different question and there are many factors in play. I did both levels. Level 2 was 4-5 20 minute sessions of telephone support based on CBT in Guided Self Help. It's little more than being on here or at a charity walk-in in many way (in my opinion) but it's better than nothing and if you are new to mental health issues it is useful. Level 3 was 12-15 sessions of CBT lasting 50-60 minutes each. This was better but recovery for me has been about slow stages hence at the time my improvement was limited. What I would say is that whilst I struggled with goals during that time, I carried on post therapy found myself working on them on my own.

Part of CBT is supposed to be about self treatment anyway, but I didn't reach that far in treatment, however you can still make it part of your attitude to recovery do even if things don't move as fast as you want, don't think you won't carry on once treatment is over.

Joydivider
01-02-17, 13:36
Thanks very much MyNameIsTerry.

Yes I will give it a go. I had a very nice introduction phone call but I hadnt quite expected the two months wait after that. I know thats not long in Health Service terms.

Its just something Im not used to but I accept that my life suddenly had no meaning.

I think it was the wait and literature along the lines of "Jennifer doesnt like your shirt so you shouldnt let it get you down...its not personal etc etc" to paraphrase slightly. I thought ooh I hope they realise its a bit more serious and complex than this. Maybe Im just making excuses but I didnt like the look of it

I just feel my life is collapsing and didnt really want to face a counsellor or therapist that wasnt going to take it seriously or understand the depths of the human mind.

I just want to be assessed actually because I feel I have never been in touch with life. Ive always drifted never wanting serious relationships and Ive not kept in touch with building any sort of a career or prospects.

Its brought out a numbness and a fatigue in me that I cant explain and its all getting a bit much now.

So thanks again and I will book it and accept the therapy on offer

MyNameIsTerry
02-02-17, 06:43
No problem, it's what we are all on here for, go support each other. Everyone will understand and I've seen threads discussing similiar concerns. It's only natural to worry about opening up about such personal issues.

I agree with you about the literature in your example, that's just trivialising a serious condition. Sometimes very simplified examples are given to non sufferers to demonstrate stigma and that might easily have fit!

If you are having Level 3, whilst it's a bit of life time to wait when you are in pain, it's not bad. Mine was 3 months. Level 2 was more 30 days which is expected as the lesser intensity means they support more current patients and have a faster turnover.

See what it's like, whilst they conform to standards they can vary, but it's nothing lost. I took it as better than sticking in the mess I was in.

Later on my therapist recommended I join a local sufferer lead charity as they had group support sessions. I was always against this because I'm more used to dealing with things on my own but it did help and the social element was useful in rebuilding my confidence with not being in work.

There is lots of support on this forum. I've met some great people on here and they really do understand.

pulisa
02-02-17, 08:23
I think it's a question of using IAPT as a means to an end and hopefully you will be allocated some Level 3 support in a reasonable time frame. I was offered therapy within about 6 weeks. The questions you are asked during the telephone assessment can be a bit frustrating (for me anyway-I can't bear quantifying my emotions!) and it's all a bit as if you're going through the motions and the person is just reading the questions from a screen but if you can bear this process then you'll be in the "system" and there will be appropriate therapy for you at the end of the process.

Good luck with it all and please let us know how you get on?

Joydivider
02-02-17, 23:08
Thanks everyone.

I will do. Its almost like Im finally waking up to what life is really all about but at the same time I cant move forward.

The worry the anxiety and the depression have been overwhelming. Ive always been quite an anxious person and worrier but Ive not had anxiety attacks until quite recently.

Im sure the Health professional understand something about anxiety and depression...they clearly have the pointers in too much sleeping and not coping with certain aspects of my life.

I think my fear is sitting in front of someone who tries to trivialise it. Actually my fear is sitting in front of someone and trying to explain this mess.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

lior
02-02-17, 23:14
MyNameIsTerry is like a textbook for IAPTS :) He's really well read about this stuff.

Different regions have different waiting times. CBT is a good starting point for therapy. See if it works. If you still need therapy once you've done the course, they can point you in the direction of other kinds of therapy, such as group therapy or psychotherapy. Sometimes it's free, sometimes it's not - if money is an issue, if you do your research you'll be able to find something affordable.

Give it a go, and see if it works for you :) these people are professionals who are trained to not trivialise things - they take mental health of everyone seriously.

It's hard to explain one's emotions, especially to a new person. You'll get used to it after a few goes. Good luck

Bigboyuk
03-02-17, 09:29
Joydivider it will get better and 2 months is nothing in the NHS now a days!! I have recently joined a Charity MH Organisation and been to 2 meetings and going to a third later today it's called Changes they have many different things going on so very varied. I wish you well and do let us know how you get on :) Cheers

Kuatir
03-02-17, 09:50
I used the IAPT service. They put me on their stress management course which covers depression, anxiety etc. I went in with an open mind and the goal of learning how to make myself better. With that outlook I found it was really successful.

Joydivider
05-02-17, 03:14
Thanks everyone.

Yes I do need some therapy but at the same time I feel its going to be hard to open up in the way I should. I hope Im not going to be getting lightweight tick box answers. I hope it directs me to a proper plan of action and therapy

Some people have private therapy just to talk things through and thats a very healthy outlook on life.

I have tended to bottle things up and rely on delusional thought and a false pride. I have never known what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be with and its all coming home to me now

I relied on stangers for work to give me a sense of purpose. They of course just work me to the grindstone these days. I cant seem to get motivated now and Ive had some horrendous work and situations where I was bullied. I was clutching at any jobs and its getting really tough. I ended up on £2 an hour driving a taxi for someone then sort of gave up

I was on a training course recently and someone again thought they could seriously bully me. I had to call the authorities and gave up the course. Im not soft so much as everything is out of control and Im in random trade environments where I have no control and no real desire to actually be there

Anyway its all been adding up to deep anxiety problems. I just cant see if Im ever going to be good enough to earn money to support myself I was starting not to like people but the reclusive thing has been going on for years.

So its all booked and I will let you all know how I get on

MyNameIsTerry
05-02-17, 07:18
Sounds like you've had a tough time and who would think it strange that you may worry about others when you've been on the end of nasty behaviour. As hard add it may seem, try to be open minded even if it's a place like this. People reply to support and help, the kind of people who have treated you so badly wouldn't unless something was in it for them.

Sessions do include the monitoring forms because it's a standard way to track progress. And don't be offended by the self harm assessment form, my therapist said it was just a safeguard to spot anyone saying they may take action so the therapist can fulfil their obligations under The Mental Health Act. She said it was common for people to answer the "do you feel life isn't worth living?" question as Yes but was very clear it was the other questions that mattered more about taking steps, rating probability to act and what stopped you acting.

I filled that question in as a Yes at every single meeting. Nothing was ever asked. But I've mentioned it as some people think it's a bit intrusive.

The rest of the time they make their own notes or give you homework which may involve filling in information, particularly in the early data gathering sessions. For instance, if you had OCD they may ask you to record a weeks worth of compulsions. It just helps them understand the problems and their impact. Goal setting is another and what obstacles exist.

---------- Post added at 07:18 ---------- Previous post was at 07:15 ----------


MyNameIsTerry is like a textbook for IAPTS :) He's really well read about this stuff.



Ha, too much late night reading...I need more hobbies! :biggrin:

Nice to see you, lior, I hope you are well and all your hard work is paying off :flowers: