Chocolateface
01-02-17, 14:00
Hi all
I have not been around for a while as I have been managing my anxiety with running and logically thinking through my issues.
Today however it has come crashing back at me and it is all work related. I have done so well over the past year with positive reviews and no run ins with my manager (the year before I had lots of issues).
A bit of background, I had a new person start with me and I have handed over my job to her whilst I move on to other things in the team.
Well yesterday I noticed something had not been done so to try and improve the process I made a small change so a spreadsheet now goes a colour to indicate to do a job which I thought would help everyone. I was explaining this to my manager and she said there was a report to do it, I said I didn't know about this report, I did but did not think it was very good (I didn't say this though). At the end of the day the same job gets done so there is no real harm in what I am doing.
The problem is my manager expects all jobs to be done as per documented procedures. I am now all anxious that she will have a go at me for the following
1) not raising the issues with it earlier - I can't say I did raise them as it would look like I am finding excuses
2) not following the procedure even if a different way does the same job with more appropriate and friendly words
3) not showing a new person the documened procedure
I know this doesn't seem like much and she can't sack me over it as at the end of the day the job still gets done, but I am so anxious she will go to hr about me and this is causing me so much anxiety right now that I am getting all the old feelings of nausea, paranoia back and I know I will let them take over
Thanks for reading if you got this far and if you can let me know how to deal with this
Clare
I have not been around for a while as I have been managing my anxiety with running and logically thinking through my issues.
Today however it has come crashing back at me and it is all work related. I have done so well over the past year with positive reviews and no run ins with my manager (the year before I had lots of issues).
A bit of background, I had a new person start with me and I have handed over my job to her whilst I move on to other things in the team.
Well yesterday I noticed something had not been done so to try and improve the process I made a small change so a spreadsheet now goes a colour to indicate to do a job which I thought would help everyone. I was explaining this to my manager and she said there was a report to do it, I said I didn't know about this report, I did but did not think it was very good (I didn't say this though). At the end of the day the same job gets done so there is no real harm in what I am doing.
The problem is my manager expects all jobs to be done as per documented procedures. I am now all anxious that she will have a go at me for the following
1) not raising the issues with it earlier - I can't say I did raise them as it would look like I am finding excuses
2) not following the procedure even if a different way does the same job with more appropriate and friendly words
3) not showing a new person the documened procedure
I know this doesn't seem like much and she can't sack me over it as at the end of the day the job still gets done, but I am so anxious she will go to hr about me and this is causing me so much anxiety right now that I am getting all the old feelings of nausea, paranoia back and I know I will let them take over
Thanks for reading if you got this far and if you can let me know how to deal with this
Clare