PASchoolSyndrome
04-02-17, 18:07
Obviously we're not.
We obsess over every little thing and convince our self it's cancer, MND, insert other terminal illness. We think something that is so rare and it happens to people, why wouldn't it happen to us? We don't want to die.
I've been struggling with my health anxiety for some time now. I'm not quite in a spiral, I have some bad moments when I find myself planning my on funeral and how I am going to live out my final days. I imagine myself getting diagnosed with cancer, beat it, only to have it metastasize 5 years later and kill me. It happens to women that I follow on Instagram, what's to stop it from happening to us? I feel my breasts in the shower every day, expecting to find a lump and be one of those 5% of women who get breast cancer in their 20s.
I'm in the process of getting some more long term help with my anxiety, whether it be medication or therapy. I've been more active in my yoga practice and taking time from my hectic schedule to be with my loved ones and being more social. But I have to ask myself this question all the time. I am healthy at the moment. Even when my legs are twitching a mile a minute and I'm convinced I'm one of the unlucky few to get ALS, I ask: why am I so eager to die? Why am I so eager to find a lump? To have my pre-existing lumps be cancer? If I'm going to get sick, I'm going to get sick. No need to go out and looking for it.
Just some thoughts I'm having.
We obsess over every little thing and convince our self it's cancer, MND, insert other terminal illness. We think something that is so rare and it happens to people, why wouldn't it happen to us? We don't want to die.
I've been struggling with my health anxiety for some time now. I'm not quite in a spiral, I have some bad moments when I find myself planning my on funeral and how I am going to live out my final days. I imagine myself getting diagnosed with cancer, beat it, only to have it metastasize 5 years later and kill me. It happens to women that I follow on Instagram, what's to stop it from happening to us? I feel my breasts in the shower every day, expecting to find a lump and be one of those 5% of women who get breast cancer in their 20s.
I'm in the process of getting some more long term help with my anxiety, whether it be medication or therapy. I've been more active in my yoga practice and taking time from my hectic schedule to be with my loved ones and being more social. But I have to ask myself this question all the time. I am healthy at the moment. Even when my legs are twitching a mile a minute and I'm convinced I'm one of the unlucky few to get ALS, I ask: why am I so eager to die? Why am I so eager to find a lump? To have my pre-existing lumps be cancer? If I'm going to get sick, I'm going to get sick. No need to go out and looking for it.
Just some thoughts I'm having.