View Full Version : Life feels put on hold
Does anyone feel like this?
Everytime I sink into the health anxiety cycle I feel like my future plans don't matter and I try to stop planning due to fear of dying of the specific illness I'm worrying about.
I'm in the middle of a lymph node scare and I still need to be checked out by the ENT and I cannot stop imagining the absolute worst and it's making me stop thinking about the future and I'm only 19 :/
Everytime I think, "thats it, I'll get back to the gym tomorrow" I feel really shitty because I feel like I might recieve a horrible diagnosis and have to stop it all.
How do you get over this? :weep:
this is me exactly. I was ordering a workout dvd last night because exercise helps anxiety a ton- and I thought yea but if I have xyz then this purchase is so unnecessary because I will just die! You know that is such a silly way to think. Even if you have an illness exercise and doing things that are positive and happy are so important to quality of life. But I often feel like that- I am thinking to start an anti-anxiety medicine I have been dealing with this for too long-
this is me exactly. I was ordering a workout dvd last night because exercise helps anxiety a ton- and I thought yea but if I have xyz then this purchase is so unnecessary because I will just die! You know that is such a silly way to think. Even if you have an illness exercise and doing things that are positive and happy are so important to quality of life. But I often feel like that- I am thinking to start an anti-anxiety medicine I have been dealing with this for too long-
Same, it's been 7 months and I'm just so sick and tired. I used to be very depressed, and all my family are happy I'm not in that black hole any more and keep saying things like "I'm glad your happy now" but if only they knew how horrid I still feel, just in a different way.
I want to go to the gym, my cousins wedding is in the summer and I want to tone up and feel good but I keep thinking when I go to the ENT he will tell me that I'm ill and all that will fall to pieces. :weep: It's a silly way to think but I just cannot help it.
I am exactly the same way. In my mind I'm thinking "what's the point".
But the thing is- if all this is anxiety- we need to move on- we need to take care of ourselves so that we can feel better and happy
---------- Post added at 18:54 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------
After my neuro visit - if she says stress and anxiety then I will really need to move on- I am hoping that I can. I want to feel normal again
Honestly, I think so many of us can relate to this. I get like this every time I am struggling with HA. If I catch myself relaxing at all or enjoying myself it's like I have to check myself and think 'what are you doing being happy when you have a death sentence hanging over you?' I hate it, it's so hard to break free from. I try to accept what will be willl be, but if what will be is dying and leaving my family and my life half unlived, it's pretty hard to feel ok about it. I wish I had the answer, but I know how you feel.
BrokenGirl
05-02-17, 19:02
This is exactly how I feel as well. It's nice to know I'm not alone but sad that we think that way.
Every time I do something for my kids I think in my head - who is going to do that for them when I'm gone?
It's crippling thinking this way all the time.
I hope someone comes along here and give a little advice on how to deal with it, cause it's no way to live :weep:
I remember once I was having bad health anxiety over something that turned out to be a pulled muscle. My daughter's birthday was coming up and I kept thinking myself "I hope I make it to her birthday"
PASchoolSyndrome
05-02-17, 19:12
I relate to this completely all the way. That's why I joined this forum because I feel like in it's own way its sort of a support group.
I write little notes to myself in my daily planner, reminding myself that I am going to live a long healthy, happy life in hopes that if I write it enough I'll start to believe it.
I relate to this completely all the way. That's why I joined this forum because I feel like in it's own way its sort of a support group.
I write little notes to myself in my daily planner, reminding myself that I am going to live a long healthy, happy life in hopes that if I write it enough I'll start to believe it.
Does writing positive notes seem to help you?
PASchoolSyndrome
05-02-17, 19:32
Does writing positive notes seem to help you?
In a way it definitely does! Unless I'm in a particular spiral, deep down I know that if there were really something wrong with me (physically lol) it would probably be a bit more obvious or the doctor would be more concerned, so when I write that I am going to live long and healthy it helps me envision my wedding/vacation/future children more than my funeral!
If people looked at my planner or my little notebooks they'd probably think I was mental haha.
In a way it definitely does! Unless I'm in a particular spiral, deep down I know that if there were really something wrong with me (physically lol) it would probably be a bit more obvious or the doctor would be more concerned, so when I write that I am going to live long and healthy it helps me envision my wedding/vacation/future children more than my funeral!
If people looked at my planner or my little notebooks they'd probably think I was mental haha.
That's good. I asked because I was thinking of doing something similar. Writing some positive thoughts down each day
I feel you. I've been going through a scare for many weeks now and it's been almost all I can think about. I can't make myself do anything productive until my symptoms subside or I get a non-serious explanation for them. I have so much I should be getting on with in life but I see no point. The gym (just recently joined) has been a good distraction for me but right now I'm too physically ill to go. Now I'm thinking "my health is already messed up, there's no point in trying to work out and get in shape and have a healthy lifestyle, I've already ruined my body".
PASchoolSyndrome
05-02-17, 19:55
That's good. I asked because I was thinking of doing something similar. Writing some positive thoughts down each day
Give it a try! I do it every day, just a couple of words, one or two sentences. It helps focus my mind on a healthy future so I can stop obsessing about bad things that aren't happening.
Sphincterclench
05-02-17, 20:19
I know exactly what you mean..
I stop doing anything that is further out than a few days by rationalizing good chance I wont be here then so why waste the time/effort/money. For instance, I was setting up the pool last year and I remember thinking, this is the last time I will be doing this, or needing a new car and thinking, why waste the money if I wont be here to drive it.
Since being on anxiety meds I do that LESS but it still hasn't really left me.
I did get a new car tho finally
I'm glad there are others who feel like this how ever I wish none of us did. I feel so upset when I see people planning for the future without a care in the world and then there is me thinking such horrid thoughts.
I really just want to be happy and healthy, more than anything in the world. I hope the ENT says everything is fine and then I can really offically leave all of this behind.
It's been over 6 weeks since I went to the gym (I stopped going when I found this swollen lymphnode in my neck because I felt to anxious and stressed) and I was looking back and thinking if I had continued going for 6 weeks I would have felt a lot better about my body and health now, even though this lymphnode is still in my neck.
I know exactly what you mean..
I stop doing anything that is further out than a few days by rationalizing good chance I wont be here then so why waste the time/effort/money. For instance, I was setting up the pool last year and I remember thinking, this is the last time I will be doing this, or needing a new car and thinking, why waste the money if I wont be here to drive it.
Since being on anxiety meds I do that LESS but it still hasn't really left me.
I did get a new car tho finally
Wow that's me exactly. Nice to see other people think the same as me. I don't feel so weird.
Does writing positive notes seem to help you?
I've been starting my day with a positive quote for well over 20 years. I share them in the "Positive Thoughts" (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=173453) thread. It's been a wonderful asset and attitude boost to my life.
Positive thoughts
Miznuvem0412
06-02-17, 04:29
Sometimes the only thing we can do is go on with life. You can't think the worst it will only make you sick. I'm sure you don't have some crazy deadly disease . Go to the gym de-stress and have faith everything will
Be fine .
You have to believe you will be fine. There's two outcomes here the ent will say doesn't seem serious and if it's something to be concern about he'll run additional tests . I doubt it's anything bad
I had a lymph node that was inflamed for a while
And it ended up being I was still fighting a viral infection.. that I believed I was done with .. that viral infection took more than 2 months to clear up
By the way ugh. ..
You are never going to get all that wasted time back. I wasted 3 years on HA. When I finally beat it I thought how ironic it would be if I actually developed a serious illness now. I think I would spend all my time wishing I could get those 3 years back when I didn't have anything wrong with me. It is really difficult to beat HA on your own. I never used meds but I did have a psychiatrist.
You are never going to get all that wasted time back. I wasted 3 years on HA. When I finally beat it I thought how ironic it would be if I actually developed a serious illness now. I think I would spend all my time wishing I could get those 3 years back when I didn't have anything wrong with me. It is really difficult to beat HA on your own. I never used meds but I did have a psychiatrist.
This is true, very true. I feel like that about the last 6 months which is why I've been trying to do more. I've started learning hoe to drive, helping the homeless et etc. I try to get out and do more but sometimes the thoughts are strong and make me feel horrible :(
You are never going to get all that wasted time back. I wasted 3 years on HA. When I finally beat it I thought how ironic it would be if I actually developed a serious illness now. I think I would spend all my time wishing I could get those 3 years back when I didn't have anything wrong with me. It is really difficult to beat HA on your own. I never used meds but I did have a psychiatrist.
That's an absolutely brilliant post! When you actually have a physical illness, you go to a medical doctor. When you have a mental illness, you see a mental health professional. When you're sick, sometimes you need meds. This holds true for mental illness as well.
Positive thoughts
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