Feel so alone and tired from worrying :-(

[BrokenGirl]

I just feel so alone and so tired of being worried all the time.
Does anyone else feel like this?
My current HA is focused on breast cancer and I'm getting worse by the day.
The thoughts are so strong I just don't know what to do anymore.
I've made an appointment to go back to my doctor tomorrow but I'm afraid she'll kill me for annoying her. I was only there last week. I'm nearly dreading going to see her but I'm at my wits end here.

Sorry for moaning. I just need to let it out and I have nobody else to turn to....

[ServerError]

You really do need real-world help. There is a pretty hard and fast limit to what anyone can do on here. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of understanding and sympathy here, including from me. But it won't make you better. Anxiety forums don't cure people. Bottom line is, if you want things to improve, you must seek real world help.

[Mav]

I know :( It's so hard.

And there are very little plus sides to health anxiety but I must say, health anxiety has opened my eyes to people who are ill, especially cancer sufferers. I find their courage and bravery really amazing. I've seen people smile and vlog their chemotherapy infusions and honestly, before my health anxiety I didn't know anything about people who are ill, but now I have developed this whole new outlook on life.

Everything makes us stronger, this experience will make us stronger.

We are never happy because we worry, life is supposed to just be lived and then tackle whatever comes our way, we are messing with that dynamic a lot.

Anyway my point is, even though things seem so dark and horrid, even this anxiety has a few plus points. But regardless, nothing stays the same forever, you will be able to handle the stress better with time because in time you will realise you are fine (even though you don't believe that right now).

You will be okay, we will all do just fine :)

[BrokenGirl]

You really do need real-world help. There is a pretty hard and fast limit to what anyone can do on here. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of understanding and sympathy here, including from me. But it won't make you better. Anxiety forums don't cure people. Bottom line is, if you want things to improve, you must seek real world help.

Thanks Server. I appreciate your honesty.
I am starting counselling on Wednesday so hopefully that will be the beginning of better things for me.
I guess in the meantime and until the counselling start to take effect, I'm just going to have to put up with these thoughts and feelings, and pray that I'll look back on this some day and say "what was I thinking?"

Surely there has to be more to life than this!

[ServerError]

I look back on my own anxious breakdown and laugh at some of the things I thought were happening to me! I've no problem saying I was being ridiculous and silly. It was hard, though. I also admit I was seriously unwell and needed help.

My advice to you is to apply yourself as best you can to your therapy when it starts. Don't expect miracles, recognise that healing has to come from within, but be open and prepared to work with your therapist. In the meantime, I wouldn't say "put up" with how you feel. I prefer a more positive turn of phrase - acceptance. Live your life, and accept your reality as it is in the current moment. This doesn't require you to like how you feel. It just makes sure you keep on living and gradually teaches your brain to think and react differently.

[Sphincterclench]

What about Anxiety meds to help buffer the therapy. Im on meds now and waiting for therapy to start. makes the wait that much more tolerable and helps to derail some of the more serious intrusive thoughts.

[Nzxt27]

I feel alone sometimes too. Family and friends don't truly understand.

[Sphincterclench]

I find that attempting to talk to them about only increases my anxiety because they either look at you with pity or contempt. I try to just shut up about it and when asked just say Im having a bad day without explaining.

[Nzxt27]

I'm to the point even if I mention going to get checked out it that something hurts then they all get upset with me. High then increases my blood pressure because I get upset in return.

[BrokenGirl]

What about Anxiety meds to help buffer the therapy. Im on meds now and waiting for therapy to start. makes the wait that much more tolerable and helps to derail some of the more serious intrusive thoughts.

I've tried a lot of meds in the past but unfortunately they don't work well with me. I think therapy is my only way out of this!!

HA, or any other form of anxiety, really really sucks. I think it's different for everyone but unless someone has been through it themselves then there's not a hope that they will understand.
That's one of the good things about this place - others understand what you're going through and therefore don't judge you!

[Nzxt27]

I've tried a lot of meds in the past but unfortunately they don't work well with me. I think therapy is my only way out of this!!

HA, or any other form of anxiety, really really sucks. I think it's different for everyone but unless someone has been through it themselves then there's not a hope that they will understand.
That's one of the good things about this place - others understand what you're going through and therefore don't judge you!

Yeah I agree.

[Merle]

I know exactly how you feel. I have been through the health anxiety rollercoaster so many times. The worst for me was 2015. It comes in waves and really takes its toll on my well being. Have you heard of mindfullness? I am trying it out and so far seems good. There is a girl from Australia called Mellie O'Brien, she goes under the name of Mrs Mindfullness. She is very good. I would send you a link but not sure I can on this. Check it out. Hope it helps some. You should also check out Louise Hay.

I am only learning all of this myself. It has been a difficult two years so far but thing is, we're still here and that is the main thing.

[swajj]

You are doing the right thing by starting therapy. At first you may think that it isn't working but you will begin to understand how your thoughts are perpetuating your anxiety. As server said it isn't a miracle cure and it is hard work but it works. You don't need to be on anxiety medication to beat HA. I never used anxiety meds. I had a bottle of Valium that lasted me for more than a year because I rarely used it. Anyway it's good to hear that you are taking the right steps to treat your anxiety.

[bcf_101386]

I feel you on this. The "what ifs" drive me crazy too. My HA is regarding sexual health - STIs. Both my partner and I have been tested and everything is negative. Yet - I know the test misses 5% of infections and I'm just waiting every single day for symptoms to appear.

The "what ifs" are what keep my brain racing all day, every day.