Wish I never went

[aangel]

I went to see a psychiatrist today about the intrusive thoughts. She diagnosed me with OCD and depression. But what she said afterwards really upset me. She asked me what took me so long to see someone and I said I had avoided coming because I didn't want to be misunderstood or thought of as crazy. I just wanted to know that I was a safe person to be around. She said it was good that I came in because OCD can be dangerous because of the compulsive part of it. I confided in her about some of the sexual intrusive thoughts. First she said that a person could have a thought for years and years and never act on them.

Then she basically implied that I (or any person with OCD) could act on a sexual intrusive thought to get relief from anxiety and then feel bad about it afterwards. I basically shut down after that. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room, I felt so sick. I rambled on about how I don't want to do those things. I mentioned how everything I read had said the thoughts were meaningless (a person isn't going to act on their worst fears). I said the thoughts went against my morals and I mentioned how one of the things that really comforted me was that people with these thoughts never act on them. She said, "Well, I never say never" and sent me on my way. I don't think she even realized how bad she made feel. She also said I could get talk therapy. I ended up crying after I left the office all the way home.

[MyNameIsTerry]

When she said you could act on your intrusive thoughts to gain relief first and then feel guilty afterwards, she didn't mean your compulsions take the form of your thoughts. For instance, someone may feel the need to mastibate for relied from the sexual feelings and this leads to guilt & shame because "I've done it go my thoughts do deep down I must like them". But it's not, it's relief of physical tension.

If you relieved anxious tension from your intrusive violent thoughts by punching a punch bag for 10 minutes, why would that have any connection to being violent? It just gets the adrenaline down.

Doctors tend not to say never when something is 99.9% because they are wary of giving patients false hopes and leaving themselves open to later action. This is the same across all medical fields. A specialist checking a lump won't say "no chance of cancer" unless they have enough evidence to back it up. My dad, brother and brother's GF have had such scares and that's what every single doctor has said.

It is rare to act on intrusive thoughts. But not impossible therefore "never say never" applies but what you have to remember is that all evidence and the psychiatrists professional opinion is that you won't. So, concentrate on the 99.9% not the 0.01%.

And actually we action our intrusive thoughts all the time - with compulsions. But these are not the thoughts, they mitigate risk to reduce anxiety or are more subtle mental compulsions that suck us into the worrying trap (e.g. mental checking & testing).

Can OCD compulsions sometimes be dangerous? Yes. Think about how severe contamination can themes can get when a sufferer is washing in bleach. What about hoarders living in unhealthy conditions?

[aangel]

I don't know. I started to shut down when she was talking and it felt like I was zoning out. Maybe I heard her wrong. But it sounded like she said that a person with OCD could do something sexual to someone to gain relief from their anxiety and then feel guilty afterward. She didn't mention it in the context of masturbating or anything like that. I just feel worse than I did before I went.

[Dave1]

Hi A,

Can you change to another psychiatrist? I don't think it's going to work if you don't feel comfortable with her. Her bedside manner seems poor to me.

[sporque]

What are these sexual thought? Maybe we can help you put it in better context than your heartless psychiatrist!

[aangel]

She said she needed to know what types of intrusive thoughts I had and I explained that I had blasphemous thoughts, health related obsessions, harm intrusive thoughts, and I mentioned sexual intrusive thoughts too.

[sporque]

She said she needed to know what types of intrusive thoughts I had and I explained that I had blasphemous thoughts, health related obsessions, harm intrusive thoughts, and I mentioned sexual intrusive thoughts too.

My point is that some of those thoughts may be normal. Meaning that your reaction to those thoughts is what's causing the problem, not the thoughts themselves.

[Catherine S]

angel, just wanted to say to you that you do not have to give any details of your sexual thoughts openly on this thread if it makes you uncomfortable to do so ok? So far you've only had replies from men, but there are also female ocd sufferers on the forum, so if it makes you feel more comfortable you can request female only replies if you prefer. You have that option ok?

No disrespect to anyone, but it's not always appropriate for men to be asking a young girl to describe her obsessive sexual thoughts.

ISB

[MyNameIsTerry]

I don't know. I started to shut down when she was talking and it felt like I was zoning out. Maybe I heard her wrong. But it sounded like she said that a person with OCD could do something sexual to someone to gain relief from their anxiety and then feel guilty afterward. She didn't mention it in the context of masturbating or anything like that. I just feel worse than I did before I went.

No, that is where we are getting into the rare issues of someone acting out their intrusive thoughts.

Your morals are still there your anxiety can't take you over to commit abuse or criminal acts.

---------- Post added at 03:43 ---------- Previous post was at 03:41 ----------


My point is that some of those thoughts may be normal. Meaning that your reaction to those thoughts is what's causing the problem, not the thoughts themselves.

That's possible, but less so in an OCD context because intrusive thoughts are egodystonic, the opposite of character.

Overreacting to normal unconscious thinking is another area.

---------- Post added at 03:44 ---------- Previous post was at 03:43 ----------


What are these sexual thought? Maybe we can help you put it in better context than your heartless psychiatrist!

The psychiatrist hasn't been heartless. She explained things correctly. She may not have released the patient's misperception.

---------- Post added at 03:52 ---------- Previous post was at 03:44 ----------

You don't have to discuss anything you feel uncomfortable with. However, this is an open forum so anyone on the Internet can read it. Whilst you can request female replies, just bare in mind we are all reading it. Only PM is going to work properly.

You could change your title for female responses but this board is pretty slow so you may have to wait a bit.

If you are uncomfortable discussing details with men, please say and we can respect your wishes.

To be honest, we don't need to know much detail anyway. General themes tend to suffice. If it's POCD then don't be afraid to talk because we have had plenty of POCD sufferers.

[sporque]

It's not a big deal. She can PM me if she likes and we can discuss it privately. Sometimes I've found it's easier that way. Male/Female OCD/Panic Disorder, WE all suffer and can offer our help because of our individual experiences and knowledge. I have some experience in this area, so it's my pleasure to offer her any advise she needs publicly or privately.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know what you mean by normal thoughts, sporque. It can depend on your personal views of what is acceptable. Everyone varies in our sexuality, within the terms of the law of course, but some sufferers create their own fear out of something many see as ok e.g. voyeurism, BDSM, etc.

If that's what you meant?

[aangel]

At the appointment I was pretty general about the thoughts I didn't really go into a lot of details. I don't have a problem posting about some of them but right now I really don't want to drudge that all up. It's been such a long day I wish I could forget it. I don't know I was expecting to feel hopeful after my appointment but I really don't. I was so distraught that I ended up confessing to my mother. She knew just by looking at my face that I was upset and she didn't react in the way I feared she would.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do what's best for you then right now. If you just need to let off steam we will all understand. There is plenty of time to discuss anything you want to.

To be honest, it can be hard to remain objective when upset by things like this and after some time and a nights sleep it might feel less raw so you can.

There is always the option of later putting your concerns to her so she can explain. From what you have said, I can't see that she isn't explaining what I believe to be correct from my experience of mine and everything I've read.

From a professionals point of view, without absolute evidence they tend not to give absolute answers but you get the next best thing in their opinion based on all the evidence. And as you are a HAer too, can you see that this is often one of the battles in believing doctors in general? If a doctor assesses symptoms and doesn't need any further testing, they have a diagnosis in mind BUT know it's nothing serious.

However, if a doctor ever sees something that could be serious, they don't mess about. Therefore if your psychiatrist had a concern, they would tell you. All they have seen is OCD, that's good news in that you know in a professionals opinion that you are no risk to anyone. Now it's putting belief into what she told you just as you would if you saw your doctor about a physical issue.

Try to get some rest and be kind to yourself. Don't berate yourself over when you shutdown, it happens, anything discussed there can be checked on if needed. A less anxious mind will help you to see it from other angles.

Like we all say, take your time and discuss things when you feel ready. There is never any pressure on here.

[sporque]

At the appointment I was pretty general about the thoughts I didn't really go into a lot of details. I don't have a problem posting about some of them but right now I really don't want to drudge that all up. It's been such a long day I wish I could forget it. I don't know I was expecting to feel hopeful after my appointment but I really don't. I was so distraught that I ended up confessing to my mother. She knew just by looking at my face that I was upset and she didn't react in the way I feared she would.

That's tough. Been there many times. PM me if you need any advice :shades:

[Miznuvem0412]

I went to see a psychiatrist today about the intrusive thoughts. She diagnosed me with OCD and depression. But what she said afterwards really upset me. She asked me what took me so long to see someone and I said I had avoided coming because I didn't want to be misunderstood or thought of as crazy. I just wanted to know that I was a safe person to be around. She said it was good that I came in because OCD can be dangerous because of the compulsive part of it. I confided in her about some of the sexual intrusive thoughts. First she said that a person could have a thought for years and years and never act on them.

Then she basically implied that I (or any person with OCD) could act on a sexual intrusive thought to get relief from anxiety and then feel bad about it afterwards. I basically shut down after that. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room, I felt so sick. I rambled on about how I don't want to do those things. I mentioned how everything I read had said the thoughts were meaningless (a person isn't going to act on their worst fears). I said the thoughts went against my morals and I mentioned how one of the things that really comforted me was that people with these thoughts never act on them. She said, "Well, I never say never" and sent me on my way. I don't think she even realized how bad she made feel. She also said I could get talk therapy. I ended up crying after I left the office all the way home.



I would honestly change her. I've been with the same psychistrist on and off for almost 10 years and never once has me made me feel uncomfortable or cried because of something that was said :/

I suffer from OCD and have had different obsessions and was not once told by my psychiatrist that the compulsive part can be dangerous. He just gave me tips on how to better manage the anxiety that came with it . Plus not everyone that acts on sexual impulses has OCD and never once do you hear a case of someone with OCD acting on sexual or whatever impulses on tv . I once had sexual intrusive thought and never acted on crap and eventually I got over that phase . Like you I have morals and know right from wrong. I knew deep down inside they were just thoughts and I was strong willed and never would do anything :L:noangel: my psychiatrist told me a lot of the times we don't act out on something we fear. The more power you have on that fear the less you would ever act on it . Example fear of dogs the more u fear them the less you want to be around them .


I had different obsessions throrught out the year but my OCD isn't as bad anymore . It went from hiv, germs, blasphemous thoughts, sexual thoughts , and fear of driving once . loool

Honestly if I was you I would not see her again . You really need to have a relationship where u feel comfortable talking to your psych . Mine never made me feel or put a thought in my head of me acting out on any of my thoughts .

I'm suffering from insomnia now and had a fear of fatal insomnia not once did he look at me like I was nuts. He just said trust me I seen people die cjd and you are nowhere near having those symptoms . He was like you're obsessing !! I'm like I'm just crazy huh. He said nah just anxious . Let's get your anxiety under control . Trust me you'll be fine we just need to give it time .

I'm sure another doctor would have thought I was crazy if I would had mentikened fatal insomnia lol


I hope u find someone you can have a good relationship with that can honestly help you. I had OCD really bad was I was younger and if it wasn't for my psychiatrist hearing each and every crazy though idk what I would had done. :hugs: feel better I'm sure you'll never act out any of your thoughts .a lot of us never have