Will there ever be change

[Itsonlyme26]

For the past 4 years I feel like my whole life is going round and round to which I end up where I started. You could call it Groundhog Day. I have a personality disorder and yes I take medication for it but I feel like it does nothing and I also feel no professional ever listens to me , so I feel no point in trying to argue with them. I'm tired of going back and forth trying to get someone to listen. To do that requires a lot of energy and I barely have any to get through the day , so I'm not going to waste it when I know the outcome. My moods as well as interests change from moment to moment , hour to hour or if I'm lucky day to day. I say lucky because if I can stick to one thing it feels like an achievement. Due to me changing my opinion so quickly this has lead me to never knowing who I am or wher I want to go in life or what I want to do and I'm 30 years old. 31 in may ! I feel like a teenager who is still figuring things out and it's driving me absolutely nuts ! I can't take it anymore. What shall I do so I can have one mood throughout the day instead of 20 moods in one day ? This is too much

[KeeKee]

Sorry I can't be much help but I do understand the feeling like a teenager comment. That's how I feel, I feel like I don't know who I am etc, I don't know what I want in life and so on. I'm 28.

[Itsonlyme26]

Thanks for replying. It never gets better. I know people say "things get better" but I strongly disagree. I honestly believe that things just stay the same but we become better liars to ourselves and this somehow tricks us into thinking things have become 'better' , whatever better is. They say medication doesn't work for my disorder so why do they up the dosage ? It makes no logical sense

[Kuatir]

It's hard work. You need to throw yourself into this despite the doubts, despite the issues, despite every adversity.

Only you can do it. You'll need help, but you have to be the driving force behind it.

Throw yourself into therapy, try different therapists if you're not clicking with a current one. If they suggest something, try it and try it again and again until you can categorically say it is or isn't working. Talk about different medications. If one doesn't work, talk about trying another. Come off one and going on another is often difficult, but if you don't try it you'll never know.

It's energy sapping and many steps forward will often be countered by two, three or more back, but I think it is the only way of seeing improvements.

Do you have a good support network? Family, friends, etc?