I have a brain illness and dont want to live anymore

[bukendaa]

I developed schizophrenia last November and I can't function like I used to be able to...its severely affected my cognition and quality of life. I miss my pre schizophrenic life

[Catherine S]

Hi bukendaa, schizophrenia can be a challenging illness for sure, and may take a while to adjust to living with it and to the meds etc. I noticed in your November thread that you talked about your anxiety, was schizophrenia diagnosed just after you posted that thread?

ISB x

[bukendaa]

Yeah what I thought was anxiety was a psychotic episode....its really hard to live with I was a HIGH functional 20 year old ...road trips work uni study's now all I do is lie down you can't think deep at all and you have strange thoughts.

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Austin,

I'm just curious... I know that with schizophrenia one can still have good days and moments of clarity and I suppose that's what's taking place thus leading you to be aware of the changes and missing your old self, but are you still having times of delusions and breaks from reality?

Are the meds you're helping to a degree thus leading to the times of lucidity?

Positive thoughts

[bottleblond]

Hello again bukendaa

I remember you from years ago. I'm really sorry to hear your news. :hugs:
Are you receiving adequate help with this from your doctor/ councillor?.


Lisa
x

[bukendaa]

Hey bottle I remember you too. I do receive councling although it does very little. I was 21 just about to take off on in life had all my higher functions and then slammed with this illness...fish well...theres not really good days there's just a hope it's not as bad as before. I'm currently waiting on a cure they say might be on its way i don't know it's robbed me of my life. It's deffintily a illness you can fell the malfunctions inside you re head.

Well yeah a little bit I thought the Drs I work with were hiding the cure from me

[bottleblond]

Ok so it's a quite a new diagnosis so I'm wondering if the medication you are on could be changed or adjusted in any way to alleviate your symptoms?.

[bukendaa]

I've tried all there medication...haldol...zyprexa seroquil every drug and that doesn't do much no...

[bottleblond]

That's a lot of meds to have tried in just over two months. Don't they give you a period of time one one to see how it works before swapping them?. I'm sure swapping them so often could also leave you feeling this way. It's like swapping anx meds, your body needs time to readjust surely?.

[Ethansmom]

My father in law has this and is well medicated. He is doing wonderful. Please don't give up. We are all here for you.

[bukendaa]

Well in November I was in my acute psychiatric ward and yeah they trialed me on risperdone...olanzipine..seroqul haloperodol ...my cognitive skills are just getting worse and worse I was going to take of to university Feb 2017 was studying in October before mental illness struck...i was just so damn happy.

---------- Post added at 21:51 ---------- Previous post was at 21:46 ----------

I was in the acute ward in November and they trailed me on all those drugs

[bottleblond]

:bighug1:

Look please don't lose heart, there are many many people living with the same condition and although it's not idea for you, you can still do the things you want to do. Perhaps it's a case of taking things slowly until not only your mind, but your body works out how to deal with these changes. It's a HUGE thing for you but when huge things happen to us, we slowly get used to a new, perhaps different way of life but still a very fulfilling one.

You're young with your whole life ahead of you!. Just keep remembering that.

Lisa
xx

[Catherine S]

As Lisa said, don't lose heart. I don't know too much about the meds for this, but I hope you find a balance...as i'm sure you will given time. Ethansmom talks about her father in law living a good life with the meds that suit him, you'll find yours too. I'm also not sure if there are any specific support websites out there for this? Besides us here of course. We're behind you. Keep posting.

ISB ☺ x