Worry. Ocd. Diazepam and meds.

[smoothiefun]

Hi. I just wanted to try get my thoughts down as they are running around my head and getting worse. Basically i have Ocd and Generalised anxiety and started a new job recently I really struggle especially on a morning leaving my kids. I have been worrying a lot and the separation anxiety and other anxiety are making it really hard to do my job. I am a grown man and and at times felt like crying whilst at work. I want to tell them i have anxiety but never declared it on my application so really too worried to admit i suffer anxiety.
It all got too much so i rung in sick with an excuse of an alternative to anxiety but now my mind is trying to make the excuse become real. My mind tries to destroy me and make bad things happen. I really needed a few days off to try and get help for my anxiety but now my mind wants to make really bad illnesses happen to me as punishment. Please help me. I really want to help others on here too but my Ocd kicks in and stops me doing ceratin things. I need the confidence to ignore my Ocd but it scares me.
I do believe in God but i feel scared.
I have accepted 2mg diazepam from the doctor to help on bad days and it's a low dose so maybe it can have a placebo effect at least. I have tried meds previously such as citralopam and sertraline but didn't help too much and i am tried to take them again because of not trusting what they do to my mind. Sorry to ramble but hopefully we can support each other. Thank you.

[PunkyFish]

Hi. I just wanted to try get my thoughts down as they are running around my head and getting worse. Basically i have Ocd and Generalised anxiety and started a new job recently I really struggle especially on a morning leaving my kids. I have been worrying a lot and the separation anxiety and other anxiety are making it really hard to do my job. I am a grown man and and at times felt like crying whilst at work. I want to tell them i have anxiety but never declared it on my application so really too worried to admit i suffer anxiety.
It all got too much so i rung in sick with an excuse of an alternative to anxiety but now my mind is trying to make the excuse become real. My mind tries to destroy me and make bad things happen. I really needed a few days off to try and get help for my anxiety but now my mind wants to make really bad illnesses happen to me as punishment. Please help me. I really want to help others on here too but my Ocd kicks in and stops me doing ceratin things. I need the confidence to ignore my Ocd but it scares me.
I do believe in God but i feel scared.
I have accepted 2mg diazepam from the doctor to help on bad days and it's a low dose so maybe it can have a placebo effect at least. I have tried meds previously such as citralopam and sertraline but didn't help too much and i am tried to take them again because of not trusting what they do to my mind. Sorry to ramble but hopefully we can support each other. Thank you.

Hi :)

I started a new job about two months ago and ended up telling my manager I had anxiety is the first few weeks. Being honest has really helped me as my workplace have been brillient and very patient with me. It's up to you if you want to tell your employer about your anxiety but sometimes I feel as if it is helpful. Having a supportive employer and boss I feel can really help manage your anxiety.

I have had a little bit of OCD in the past and for me the only way to get past it is with specialist help if you can't do it on your own. Sometimes medication can be help OCD but if you don't want to do down this route again then you do need some sort of therapy such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which is a talking therapy that helps to teach you how to change the way you think and respond to your OCD and anxious thoughts. The NHS do this so I would go back to your doctor and see if you can get a referral or maybe if you can afford it go and see a private therapist as this would be quicker. :)

[smoothiefun]

:-) thank you @punkyfish and i am glad you are getting good support from work, it must be a relief. I went to see the doctor and she was really understanding and signed me off sick for a shortvtime and i started taking citralopam. I always try not to take meds but going to try and on the long waiting list for therapy. Thanks for your advice and taking time to reply.