So disappointed with my counselling :-(

[BrokenGirl]

Some of you may know that I've been in a very bad HA spiral lately.
Anyway, I started counselling yesterday and was really hoping that it might be the start of better things for me. Boy was I wrong.
My counselor, I hate to say it, was useless. He was young and inexperienced and still in 3rd year in college (perhaps he's only on work experience).
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I thought he was no good because of his age and lack of experience. I realise everyone has to start at the bottom and work up, in all professions.
For most of the session he just sat there and stared at me, didn't ask me questions and just made the whole experience extremely uncomfortable.
He didn't even talk to me for the first few minutes to help me relax and settle in.
He didn't give me anything to say or do to keep me going till our next session.
And when I asked him at the end if health anxiety is treatable or even curable, he hesitated and kind of just said it might be, we'll see.
Some people are definitely not cut out to be counselors.

Any advice what I should do. Should I give him another few sessions to see, even though I really feel that this isn't going to work out.
I just feel so disappointed :weep:

[ServerError]

Based on your description, it sounds like you've drawn a short straw. Young, inexperienced counsellors can still be good. Mine was young and clearly hadn't been practicing for long, but he was great.

Don't give up after one session, though. I was about six or seven sessions in before I felt it was starting to help me. If things don't improve, see about switching. But whatever you do, don't throw in the towel with counselling completely.

And for what it's worth, it is most definitely possible to recovery completely from an anxiety disorder. Not everybody does, but it remains possible.

[Sphincterclench]

I wont be starting mine for a few more weeks yet, and maybe I am wrong, but Im going in with a slightly lower expectation.

Im not necessarily seeking a cure, but rather a way to make my life more manageable and take control of it rather than it controlling me. I dont know if this can be CURED but if I could just learn a few ways to beat it back so that I have some kind of control over my life again I will be ecstatic.

That being said...if it can be CURED...I WANT THAT TOO!

[SLA]

If you want to get better you'll find a way I am sure.

[BrokenGirl]

I'm not going to give up on it just yet, but my gut is telling me this is a dead end. But even if it is, I'm going to find another way......
My main goal in life now is to get better and kick this HA in the butt

It's just so disappointing because I can't afford to go private at the moment - counselors / psychiatrists cost a small fortune.

I honestly don't know why this guy even wanted to be a counselor. You either have it or you don't and to say he doesn't have it is an understatement.....

[ServerError]

I completely understand that, if your counsellor isn't up to the job, you'll get nothing from the process. However, if you believe that counselling is another "dead end", then that is exactly what it will be. The thing about therapy is that, if you expect to act on your anxiety the way paracetamol acts on pain, you'll be disappointed. It doesn't work that way. Therapy, at its best, is a part of the body of armour you build up gradually to help you tackle the problem.

You need a good therapist, it's true. You also need a certain attitude which, to be fair, does seem to be there in this thread. Be prepared to try and change your counsellor if it's at all possible. Finding one you can connect with is a huge bonus. After that, just recognise that recovery is a process with many facets, and much of it comes from within. Don't expect counselling to be a magic fix. But do remember that you can be fixed.

[MyNameIsTerry]

They all get exposed to patients whilst still in training, otherwise they get qualified without real world experience - which is much worse.

However, he will have a supervisor. Even fully qualified regulatory bodies tend to stipulate ongoing supervision to ensure they remain in line with expectations.

The first sessions are data gathering. Don't expect much from then anyway, in my opinion.

He doesn't sound experienced but perhaps it's best to assess his performance over another session or two? If you have concerns, they shouldn't have an issue with a patient swapping because you don't gel anyway so you could raise your concerns.

[swgrl09]

He may be pretty "green" and still learning. It's possible he is not the right fit, however I do think you need more than one session to really know. As Terry said, the first session is really about gathering information than anything else.

In sessions I have with people, I encourage them to speak up/provide feedback. Ask him if you would like more structure/feedback. It shouldn't hurt his feelings.

[swajj]

My psychiatrist rarely talked to me. I did all the talking and he would just sit there and look at me. I don't know about other countries but here in Australia a psychiatrist is a qualified doctor who has done further training in mental illness. A psychologist does not have a medical degree. In my early sessions I would always try to discuss my symptoms with him because I knew he was a doctor. He absolutely refused to do that. He never told me why I thought the way I did either, he made me work it out myself. I guess we go hoping that these professionals will tell us what we need to do to fix our HA. My psychiatrist always told me that he couldn't fix me and that i needed to do it myself. It was so frustrating at the time but now I can see that he was right.

[BrokenGirl]

Thanks for the replies everyone.
I think that what people here are saying in general is to give it another few sessions before I make any decision. And that I will do.
If I feel after a few more sessions that he's just not the right person for me, then I'll ring them and ask politely if it's possible to be moved to someone else.
Maybe he just needs experience before he settles down, and that's fair enough.
But if i'm getting no benefit out of it in the meantime then I'll have to look out for myself there.
Fingers crossed so for next weeks session!!

[MyNameIsTerry]

My psychiatrist rarely talked to me. I did all the talking and he would just sit there and look at me. I don't know about other countries but here in Australia a psychiatrist is a qualified doctor who has done further training in mental illness. A psychologist does not have a medical degree. In my early sessions I would always try to discuss my symptoms with him because I knew he was a doctor. He absolutely refused to do that. He never told me why I thought the way I did either, he made me work it out myself. I guess we go hoping that these professionals will tell us what we need to do to fix our HA. My psychiatrist always told me that he couldn't fix me and that i needed to do it myself. It was so frustrating at the time but now I can see that he was right.

Over here a psychiatrist is a normal medical doctor who has gone in to study in the specialism of psychiatry.

A psychologist is a non medical doctor trained person who has studied to degree level in psychology and most likely also a Masters degree (so usually 4-6 years). A psychologist hasn't trained in meds so cannot prescribe but of the two is more likely the one trained to perform therapy. A psychologist is also completely limited in diagnosis to their field whereas the psychiatrist still has their MD allowing them more ability to look at broader issues, like any specialist since they all go through enough training to originally become a doctor, although they will obviously refer you to the correct diagnostic route like any other.

It depends on the type of therapy how much involvement they have. Some forms require much more guidance & involvement. The mistake some make in a form like CBT is that they take a counselling role and let the patient just talk rather than take the therapist role being more involved.

[swajj]

That sounds the same as here Terry. I think we need to be careful that we aren't rushing to judgement when it comes to our therapists. People with HA always just want to be how they used to be before they developed HA. So they go off to their first counselling appointment full of optimism that they are finally going to get answers. Of course it doesn't work like that. I think the OP needs to stick with this therapist for a few more visits. Then if she still feels that his inexperience is a problem then she can ask for a referral to another therapist. As you know it takes sometime to start feeling better after counselling begins. ��

[Catherine S]

I've never had any form of counselling ever, i'm from the generation who told us to put up with it, so not much help here sorry, but just wanted to say if I had that little doggy in your profile pic, i'd be cured. Such a cutie. I want that little dog :D

ISB ☺ x

[swajj]

Istillbelieve, do you ever wonder if counselling may have helped you overcome your HA?