One_phobic_gal
09-02-17, 20:01
I have major health anxiety, but I've not yet ever experienced an episode this bad.
It all started two Fridays ago, I read this scary article on a girl who died of bacterial meningitis, I have always been scared of that illness since I knew someone who nearly died from it. Anyway that Monday (last Monday) I woke up And guess what? For the first time in my life I had a stiff neck!! Stiff enough I couldn't bring my chin to my chest. So naturally I started compulsively checking and in doing so I made it get even worse :weep:
I then developed horrible nausea, and shaking so I decided to go to a walk in clinic, waited for hours and was told I most certainly did not have meningitis. He did do a quick reflex check on me etc. After seeing him I felt better for a few hours but then began thinking oh my gosh, what if (especially because his English was VERY poor) he wasn't competent and now I'm going to slowly die of meningitis!! I tried to push the thought out of my mind, but meanwhile was still waking up every morning shaking with crippling nausea. Thursday morning I was particularly nauseous and all I could choke down was an orange, but after a few bites I vomited (and since there wasn't much in my stomach it was more like dry heaving) I FREAKED and ran to the emergency room thinking this was it.
The Dr saw me and assured me with meningitis I wouldn't even be able to move my neck and all my symptoms were anxiety. Me being so stupid, I decided to read more stories from meningitis survivors and saw that many people didn't even have a stiff neck at all! Just flu like symptoms!
Fast forward to this week, I'm still waking up nauseous every morning to the point all I can eat is apple sauce, and at the beginning of the week I had a headache that didn't go away for 2 days, Tuesday night I woke up drenched in sweat, and now yesterday I seemed to develop a cough! Today my throat is starting to feel scratchy and I feel achy so I'm CONVINCED I'm a goner, the meningitis has been slowly developing over the last week and now any moment I'll become horrifically ill. I was tempted to go to the emergency room last night because I woke up shaking uncontrollably and feeling achy but my dad imsisted I calm down and not go.
I am terrified I'll chalk up my symptoms to anxiety but really it will have been caused by meningitis, I don't know how to deal with these latest symptoms, even if I'm just getting sick, I just know I'll be tortured thinking I'm slowly devolving meningitis. I've literally been paralyzed with fear for nearly 2 weeks now, I can't think about anything else, I can't eat properly, very day I feel like a new symptom pointing to Meningitis pops up:weep: Please please help me, any advice or comport would be SO appreciated.
It all started two Fridays ago, I read this scary article on a girl who died of bacterial meningitis, I have always been scared of that illness since I knew someone who nearly died from it. Anyway that Monday (last Monday) I woke up And guess what? For the first time in my life I had a stiff neck!! Stiff enough I couldn't bring my chin to my chest. So naturally I started compulsively checking and in doing so I made it get even worse :weep:
I then developed horrible nausea, and shaking so I decided to go to a walk in clinic, waited for hours and was told I most certainly did not have meningitis. He did do a quick reflex check on me etc. After seeing him I felt better for a few hours but then began thinking oh my gosh, what if (especially because his English was VERY poor) he wasn't competent and now I'm going to slowly die of meningitis!! I tried to push the thought out of my mind, but meanwhile was still waking up every morning shaking with crippling nausea. Thursday morning I was particularly nauseous and all I could choke down was an orange, but after a few bites I vomited (and since there wasn't much in my stomach it was more like dry heaving) I FREAKED and ran to the emergency room thinking this was it.
The Dr saw me and assured me with meningitis I wouldn't even be able to move my neck and all my symptoms were anxiety. Me being so stupid, I decided to read more stories from meningitis survivors and saw that many people didn't even have a stiff neck at all! Just flu like symptoms!
Fast forward to this week, I'm still waking up nauseous every morning to the point all I can eat is apple sauce, and at the beginning of the week I had a headache that didn't go away for 2 days, Tuesday night I woke up drenched in sweat, and now yesterday I seemed to develop a cough! Today my throat is starting to feel scratchy and I feel achy so I'm CONVINCED I'm a goner, the meningitis has been slowly developing over the last week and now any moment I'll become horrifically ill. I was tempted to go to the emergency room last night because I woke up shaking uncontrollably and feeling achy but my dad imsisted I calm down and not go.
I am terrified I'll chalk up my symptoms to anxiety but really it will have been caused by meningitis, I don't know how to deal with these latest symptoms, even if I'm just getting sick, I just know I'll be tortured thinking I'm slowly devolving meningitis. I've literally been paralyzed with fear for nearly 2 weeks now, I can't think about anything else, I can't eat properly, very day I feel like a new symptom pointing to Meningitis pops up:weep: Please please help me, any advice or comport would be SO appreciated.