My Boyfriend is Fed Up. [Archive]

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MariMari19

11-02-17, 02:23

So I had a bad relapse, really bad, I became suicidal and attempted suicide last Wednesday. I would probably be in the hospital right now but as I live in the US. That would cost a a lot, and it's money me and my family don't have.

Now I think, if Im rational, pretty sure I have gall stones. I know Im young, just 19, but the pain that comes after eating sometimes, the diarrhea and nausea, Just the absolute sounds that my liver or maybe gallbladder is making is ridiculous. Also just the sweating and fevers.

Now this is where Health Anxiety comes in, I think I have Liver Cancer as well. Who knows, and since I had a breast MRI 3-4 months ago my doctor is hesitant to get me more scans, he felt me side, he said everything seemed fine.

I was going to go in for a second opinion as I feel just really sick, but decided it was all in my head and stayed home, some gurgling later I felt a bit better. there is still pain but not as intense, although I do feel just generally sick and sweaty.

I was telling my boyfriend this how it comes and goes, all i've eaten today was a granola bar and 3 grapes. I don't want to even eat.

He's fed up I guess, because he said its really draining him and its getting annoying, I understand, I mean Im stuck with myself.

I feel alone in this. I really do, I have no other friends he's basically the only person i talk to, but I just kind of had to promise him I wont talk about Health Anxiety to him again.

Im feeling all around bad now, Guess just a bad day for me. :(

Cusper

11-02-17, 02:45

GlassPinata

11-02-17, 03:57

I think my health anxiety was at its WORST when i was your age.
At some point, you just realize you're not going to die and therefore you have to live.... with it.
You have to live with it.
And so you do.
19 is a very bad age for health anxiety; like I said, that's when mine peaked.
But now I'm 44, and I still have it, I still live with it.
I am actively looking for ways to combat it, at this point.
I don't WANT to live with it for another 30 years.
If you want to get past it as well, stay on this forum, read the articles, and research other sites that have to do with recovering from health anxiety.
I know you can beat this, and not have it rule your life. you are still young.
Now is the time.

Best wishes.

swajj

11-02-17, 07:48

If you are so anxious that you have attempted to commit suicide then you need to be talking to a psychiatrist urgently. Have your family and boyfriend suggested going to the doctor and getting a referral? You need professional help.

---------- Post added at 17:18 ---------- Previous post was at 17:07 ----------

btw I am married to a wonderful man. No one could ask for a more supportive partner. But even he reached his limit with my HA. He said I was a completely different person to the person I used to be. So try to understand how your boyfriend is feeling.

MariMari19

11-02-17, 08:06

Hi MariMari,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I still have health anxiety and I went through it rough at your age. It did get better. My boyfriend used to get so upset with me and eventually I had to leave him because it was too much for either of us. Is there a way you could get a therapist? I only ask because at 20 I went to see a therapist which was basically all the money I had at the time but I did slowly get better. I am now twice your age now but I remember having all the same symptoms you had. My doctor did not know what to do with me. (and this was way before google) so I had books on every sort of disease you could read up about. Therapy really helped. My parents also helped me pay (i think they felt responsible since they loved to tell me about diseases when I was young)

I am attaching a link to a woman who has changed me and my fear of death.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcJNJbRJ6U

It's a TED talk. There are lots of inspiring ones, but this one helped me.

Thank You So Much for this it is very hard to accept that I am going to die eventually. Im scared. But Im still trying. A lot of people are telling me this is the hardest time, and yeah I totally feel that.

All I can do is get this time sorted out and just really push myself forward.

Thank You Again. :)

---------- Post added at 02:00 ---------- Previous post was at 01:58 ----------

I think my health anxiety was at its WORST when i was your age.
At some point, you just realize you're not going to die and therefore you have to live.... with it.
You have to live with it.
And so you do.
19 is a very bad age for health anxiety; like I said, that's when mine peaked.
But now I'm 44, and I still have it, I still live with it.
I am actively looking for ways to combat it, at this point.
I don't WANT to live with it for another 30 years.
If you want to get past it as well, stay on this forum, read the articles, and research other sites that have to do with recovering from health anxiety.
I know you can beat this, and not have it rule your life. you are still young.
Now is the time.

Best wishes.

Yes you are very right. I don't want to be suffering with this. I can't. I actually want to become a doctor, thats what Im studying for right now and having Health Anxiety, in Med School? Yeah right. It would destroy me.
So I have to deal with it and start being really pro active about this.

Thank You :)

---------- Post added at 02:06 ---------- Previous post was at 02:00 ----------

If you are so anxious that you have attempted to commit suicide then you need to be talking to a psychiatrist urgently. Have your family and boyfriend suggested going to the doctor and getting a referral? You need professional help.

---------- Post added at 17:18 ---------- Previous post was at 17:07 ----------

btw I am married to a wonderful man. No one could ask for a more supportive partner. But even he reached his limit with my HA. He said I was a completely different person to the person I used to be. So try to understand how your boyfriend is feeling.

Its not the anxiety. Its the depression.And as I said in my post. I would be sitting in a behavioral health hospital by now if I had the money. I see a psychiatrist monthly and a psychologist weekly. Juts lately everything has been hard. School Stress, I am a violinist and solo cellist and that brought on anxiety with some auditions coming up, Health anxiety, job anxiety. Its been a stressful month to be honest.
Im doing fine now. In some pain but managing.
---

Also, yes I talked with him and we made an agreement that If I feel anxious I should tell him, even health anxious, but I should not dwell on it for days and hours or at least really try not to talk about the pain or bring it up every time. I can agree on that as well.

montys

11-02-17, 09:39

Hey MariMari,

So sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

I'm 21, and I've been on the receiving end of this before, having been in a relationship with someone that suffered from severe depression and frequently engaged in self-harm.

I think the biggest thing to remember is to is that we're all still young, and learning. You're still learning how to cope with everything going on mentally, and he's still learning how to be supportive for you. It's natural to feel overwhelmed and frustrated in situations where every development is new and stressful.

I think the agreement you two came upon is a good sign that he's in this for the long run, and hopefully that will mitigate any future pent-up frustrations from happening on either side. Open communication is key to every successful relationship, and it's especially important for those that are dealing with situations like these.

I'm also a student that suffers from anxiety, and I'm totally with you on the fear of underperforming academically. :lac: Graduating on time is difficult enough these days, and preparing for grad school is even more of an ordeal :weep:

Don't worry so much though about meeting some sort of timeline to be "fixed" before med school. Finding the right treatment is a time investment, and as we get older health anxiety may as well be replaced by other, more practical concerns like having a family, bills, etc. What's important at our age is building the right habits and thought behavior to help guide us through stressful times, whatever the cause might be :)

Also, remember to stay hydrated and get some nutrients in you. That goes a long way with the digestive stuff and you'll feel better throughout the day.

Best of luck on those auditions, and stay strong. I'm rooting for you!

countrygirl

11-02-17, 12:16

I have been married for 37 years and had health anxiety since age 6 so rather alot of experience!
My husband says the hardest part for the other person in your life is that anyone with HA does not just say " I feel awful with a pain xxx or whatever" then stop, they talk incessantly about whatever is worrying them with great detail and all the possible reasons and they do this over and over and over again day after day. This is what he cannot cope with and now if I find myself doing this I make myself stop.
He is happy for me to tell him whatever is wrong with me and even say that I am worrying about it and he will be lovely and even help me to make a plan of what to do but he does not want me to keep on about it.
HA makes us totally totally absorbed with self, we cannot think about anything else as in obsessive ( told its connected to OCD).
Use this forum to talk about your fears as we all understand and its a good outlet but do try and not obsess to your boyfriend if you can x

Mav

11-02-17, 13:05

I'm 19 and I get it. I'v had health anxiety for 7 or 8 months now but it was at it's absolute worst in December. I remember crying uncontrollably, not being able to eat anything and positive I had what I was worrying about.

It's still quite bad but I have my appetite back now, and I'm not in absolute hysterics anymore. I still feel like I'm waiting for "the" diagnosis but somedays are better than others. I can surpress it on somedays and other days I'm really absorbed in fear that I feel like how you described.

At one point I felt suicidal too, but it was only at my worst and I didn't attempt it. However, I can understand why anxiety like this can take you to that dark place, my mindset was "Well why wait for Death and constantly be tortured by the idea of Death when I could just die on my own accord?". However, I was deeply frustrated, scared and tired of the anxiety which is how I suspect you're feeling at present.

Just know, with anxiety like this, there comes good days and bad days. Everyone realises their not immortal at some point and I think they deal with it a lot better than some of us anxiety sufferers.

Just know that it will be okay, whatever it is, it will be okay.

nivekc251

11-02-17, 18:28

I really don't talk about my illness du jour to my fiance. She knows when something is wrong because I'm quiet or I'm constantly checking for symptoms. I don't want to burden her with my illness because I feel like it's unfair for her. Having her helps me because she gets me out of the house and it gets my mind off of things. I'm not saying take my approach because everyone is different. I talk to my psychologist and my sister about my Illness du jour, I just bug the hell out of them because one of them is getting paid for it and the other one cant leave me were family lol. I'm sorry you're having relationship problems , but you want someone who is going to be there for you through thick and thin, but you have to look at his side and how certain actions can affect his health as well. Hang in there and want to get better. Don't give up tell yourself you will get over this no matter what.:yahoo: