Fear of turning gay

[phil06]

For the last few months I've had an obessional fear of turing gay, I find these thoughts horrible and disgusting as I am straight and have a girlfriend. I get thoughts like "what If I turn gay later in life" and "what if I turn bisexual" even though I know I'm not gay and I've only ever fancied girls.

I looked up the internet and came across this:

http://www.brainphysics.com/hocd.php

Not sure if this is what I have, can't find anything on the No More Panic Forum about it...does anybody else suffer this? and can you reassure me it's just anxiety?

[yorkylover]

Hello Phil,I really wouldnt worry about these feelings.I think alot of people probably have gone through the same.If you only fancy girls Im sure you will be ok.My brother is gay and he knew from a very young age.I can understand the thoughts are scarey,but its nothing to be disgusted about.You wont just turn gay.

[Krakers]

Phil - anxiety can cause a lot of scary thoughts, whatever they may be. I couldn't get the idea of dying out of my head for over a month last year, and yet here I am typing away, not dead, not afraid anymore. Anxiety can make all your worst thoughts and fears come to the fore and bombard your brain with them.

Realise your fears for what they are - its not reality, its anxiety getting to you through the constant "What ifs". It'll take a little time, but it will go away. Anxiety is a bit like pandoras box - whatever we fear most is hidden inside.

Once you realise thats its the fear thats got you rather than the reality (a hard distcinction to make at the time, but its important to reassure yourelf it is the anxiety), then over time it'll lose its grip on you.

You *know* what you are about, so don't let anxiety push in that doubt. Every time you have these thoughts, tell yourself the positives. You're with a girlfriend, you enjoy being with her, you've been with other girls - what you are experiencing is nothing but anxiety pushing your buttons.

Its likely others haven't had the same experience, becasue the buttons it pushes for them are different.

Use self talk to tell yourself the positives. There is nothing to be afraid of - you know that, and you need to tell yourself that. It all comes from you mate.

Krakers.

[wildchildajx18]

Ive gone throught it . Im 14 and i get turned on about girls and now all of sudden im afraid of bieng and tunring gay. I assure you ..that people around you would ask you if you were gay. http://members.optusnet.com.au/~austbua/normal.htm

[Rain]

Have you considered that the use of the words 'horrible and disgusting' in this post might be offensive to gay members of No More Panic?

[happyone]

Hey,
I am a 35 year old woman, mother of two and married!
I recently (february) decided I was gay. This lasted a week and it felt very real at that time. I look back now and think 'what???'
I don't think I am hiding anything in the recesses of my mind. I think it was just indicative of my confused state of mind at that time and desperation to find a solution to 'why' I was like this.
Coupled with a bit of a crush on a female I have to admit:blush: , but I since learned that it wasn't a crush, it was 'transference' a natural feeling when in therapy towards your therapist.
Don't worry about it.

Rain, I didn't interpret what Phil said as offensive, he is being honest in what his feelings are to him. I don't detect that he is saying that homosexuality is disgusting. Quite frankly when I had my feelings that were mixed up, I found them rather disgusting too. I certainly have no problem with homosexuality but I did have a bit of a problem thinking that at 35 I was going to come out of a closet that I didn't know I was in! The reason I found them disgusting is because I felt disloyal to my husband and children.
I had similar thoughts towards another man too when I was very unhappy. I found them horrible and disgusting too as I couldn't understand why I was having those feelings.
I am sure nothing was meant by it.

happyone
xx

[eeyorelover]

If you find the thoughts 'horrible and disgusting' then you aren't gay.
The fact is that whether it's what ifs about sexual preference or death or anything else under the sun - they are just thoughts. You're thoughts don't mean anything unless you act on them.
Alot of us here have what if thoughts. They help to fuel anxiety and the only thing that you can do is to tell yourself that it's a silly thought,maybe giving yourself a reason why it's silly (ex. I am not gay - I have a girlfriend that I care deeply about) and then move on and concentrate on something else.

xxx
Sandy

[phil06]

Have you considered that the use of the words 'horrible and disgusting' in this post might be offensive to gay members of No More Panic?

Sorry my post was not meant to offend, I was just saying how I was feeling about my thoughts.

Thanks for all the replies...I have found them helpful. :)