View Full Version : How to live with the fear of cancer
Lately my fear of developing cancer has become an obsession. I am beyond terrified and feel that it's inevitable that I will get cancer. It comes up daily in the media or on facebook and it seems like we are all doomed.
The recent heartbreaking story of a couple that died within days of each other from cancer has made it all the more real. The poor children that are left behind.
I don't know how to move forward with my life other than having a full body mri, which I know is highly unlikely. I know I'm being unreasonable but atm I jut can't see the point.
Sorry for this self indulgent post.
BrokenGirl
13-02-17, 13:29
I don't have an answer for you rainbow, but just wanted to say that you're not alone.I feel exactly the same as you do. I couldn't have written the post better myself.
Hopefully there'll be some responses here on how to cope with it, and even kick that cancer fear in the butt :ohmy:
PASchoolSyndrome
13-02-17, 13:46
I too have this fear almost daily - I'll range from many different types of cancers from very treatable ones to death sentences.
I try to help myself by doing something I love or being with people I love, which isn't always possible because I moved away for school and still have another year and a half to complete! Sometimes I even tell myself that if I'm destined to get sick I'll get sick so theres no point in wasting my life until that point.
Thanks for replying,
Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way too. It's the thought of not being here for my kids that terrifies me so much. They need me. I can't bear it!
BrokenGirl
13-02-17, 13:53
Thanks for replying,
Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way too. It's the thought of not being here for my kids that terrifies me so much. They need me. I can't bear it!
I think it's the fear of not being here for my kids is what fuels my HA.
I know there is no point worrying about it but it's like there's a switch in my brain that I just can't turn off :weep:
Honestly, a full MRI might give you a short space of time where you feel better about this. You can't really have a regular MRI just to make sure.
You need to deal with whatever is causing you to react and entertain these thoughts.
I think it's the fear of not being here for my kids is what fuels my HA.
I know there is no point worrying about it but it's like there's a switch in my brain that I just can't turn off :weep:
I think that's behind mine too. I have kids aged 32,30,25,13 and 10. I worry more about the young ones. If I can just live for another 10 years until they're old enough to cope.
---------- Post added at 14:14 ---------- Previous post was at 14:12 ----------
Honestly, a full MRI might give you a short space of time where you feel better about this. You can't really have a regular MRI just to make sure.
You need to deal with whatever is causing you to react and entertain these thoughts.
I know it's not feasible to have regular mri's. It's the health anxiety and fear that's causing my thoughts. Can't shake this feeling, been really bad for almost six months now.
OK, what are you doing to shake the feeling?
Being a survivor, I have an understanding of this fear. Interestingly enough, I don't really fear it anymore. If anything, if indeed I get it again, it will be more a PITA than anything else. Even if it's not treatable. What a PITA! :mad:
Most cancers are treatable and the cure rates are high these days. So do you fear the illness or the things that go along with it? Yep, it sucks and the treatment sucks too but you deal with it and heal and move on with your life.
Now, nearly 4 years out, the memories of the treatment and what I went through are fading just like the memories of loves lost and broken hearts do.
The thing is, you are ill, just not physically. Hopefully, with treating your anxiety, those fears will become distant memories as you heal.
Positive thoughts
YES Rainbow ALL THE TIME!!!! Currently I know I have lung cancer........and I too have to have a full body MRI scan!!!
And right now I am in such a panic and state..............also, few months back Breast lump, GP felt nothing however I do.....thinking it could be BC now that has spread hence why the shoulder! OMG, sorry just seriously panicked and struggling...
OK, what are you doing to shake the feeling?
Tbh, nothing really. I keep looking up statistics which is probably making me worse.
Tbh, nothing really. I keep looking up statistics which is probably making me worse.
So do I!
Being a survivor, I have an understanding of this fear. Interestingly enough, I don't really fear it anymore. If anything, if indeed I get it again, it will be more a PITA than anything else. Even if it's not treatable. What a PITA! :mad:
Most cancers are treatable and the cure rates are high these days. So do you fear the illness or the things that go along with it? Yep, it sucks and the treatment sucks too but you deal with it and heal and move on with your life.
Now, nearly 4 years out, the memories of the treatment and what I went through are fading just like the memories of loves lost and broken hearts do.
The thing is, you are ill, just not physically. Hopefully, with treating your anxiety, those fears will become distant memories as you heal.
Positive thoughts
You seem like an extremely strong person, unfortunately I'm very weak mentally and the fear of leaving my children without a mother tortures my every waking moment. I haven't had a feeling of true happiness for about six months.
I do realise that a lot of people survive cancer but many die too. My biggest fear is bowel cancer and even though my symptoms have settled down I still get intense fear if anything is out of the ordinary.
I admire your outlook and wish that I could change mine.
---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:41 ----------
YES Rainbow ALL THE TIME!!!! Currently I know I have lung cancer........and I too have to have a full body MRI scan!!!
And right now I am in such a panic and state..............also, few months back Breast lump, GP felt nothing however I do.....thinking it could be BC now that has spread hence why the shoulder! OMG, sorry just seriously panicked and struggling...
Hi, sorry to see that you're having such a hard time. I know how you feel, it takes over. Is your gp helping with your anxiety. I can't bring myself to go and see mine. My phobia of anything medical has escalated at an alarming rate. The thought of it causes massive panic and anxiety to the point of feeling paralysed.
---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:46 ----------
So do I!
Do you find it helps you?
I have struggled with the cancer fear for a long time. I still have it rear it's ugly head from time to time, but I think I cope with it better than I used to. I use thought blocking techniques, acknowledge that I know it is an unhelpful thought, and try to rationalize. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I do find I come "down" from the anxiety quicker than I used to. I also have to really limit my reassurance seeking, which is so hard but I do think that has helped as well long term.
I think I just got so exhausted from being scared all the time that I was like "F it, if it gets me then I'll deal with it then."
I admire your outlook and wish that I could change mine.
You can... with therapy and meds if needed along with a lot of hard work, you can!
I sought therapy after my cancer as I did after my heart attacks. I took meds for a bit and they helped while I got my feet under me. I have a "chill pill" now that I can take as needed and have needed dealing with my wife's illness. Most of all I worked my ass off to get better both physically and mentally.
IMO, you can overcome this. If I did it with what I went through, you can and you haven't even had to deal with the physical illnesses I have. These are words on a screen. Cathartic? yes.... the road to healing? Only if you act on them.
Good luck and as always
Positive thoughts
You seem like an extremely strong person, unfortunately I'm very weak mentally and the fear of leaving my children without a mother tortures my every waking moment. I haven't had a feeling of true happiness for about six months.
I do realise that a lot of people survive cancer but many die too. My biggest fear is bowel cancer and even though my symptoms have settled down I still get intense fear if anything is out of the ordinary.
I admire your outlook and wish that I could change mine.
---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:41 ----------
Hi, sorry to see that you're having such a hard time. I know how you feel, it takes over. Is your gp helping with your anxiety. I can't bring myself to go and see mine. My phobia of anything medical has escalated at an alarming rate. The thought of it causes massive panic and anxiety to the point of feeling paralysed.
---------- Post added at 15:46 ---------- Previous post was at 15:46 ----------
Do you find it helps you?
What I cannot get is what is real and what is not!!! I am not sure if the pain in my shoulder is indeed real or is this from anxiety OR lung cancer! Does it help me looking at stats, yes it does....I continually checking them over and over again......geez......I am back at the GP next week Monday going to ask for an Xray or something, I have ordered bloods to be done too, read that abnormal sodium levels is a strong link to Small cell lung cancer and can cause breathlessness......Rainbow, petrified......& yes just like you....I have to build the courage up to see the GP but I have to...this could be THE ONE that gets me!
One a different note, I was watching Telly this Saturday evening and just burst into tears....husband looks all confused and cannot understand what this is doing to me...I feel helpless and stupid but scared I have a tumor in my lung right now! Persistent symptoms are getting to me right now, sorry for the rant but I am genuinely petrified.
---------- Post added at 15:59 ---------- Previous post was at 15:53 ----------
I think I just got so exhausted from being scared all the time that I was like "F it, if it gets me then I'll deal with it then."[/QUOTE]
I tell myself that but then symptoms rear themself
Also, all I have done today is google and google some more........dammit!!!
Kay - and they do for me too. Just this weekend was terrified because my husband has unexplained tailbone pain. I had to do a LOT of mental work to not escalate and to calm down. It's getting easier than it used to, but I'm far from perfect.
I lost a dear friend to lung cancer last year. There was no mistaking it, just like there was no mistaking my cancer or anyone else I know who's a warrior or survivor.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
Positive thoughts
I lost a dear friend to lung cancer last year. There was no mistaking it, just like there was no mistaking my cancer or anyone else I know who's a warrior or survivor.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
Positive thoughts
Yes, when my mom was diagnosed they knew immediately and it wasn't any cancer we had even heard of. She said to me in the hospital that it was no use worrying all her life, as it didn't change what happened and nobody could have predicted or seen it coming. It messed me up for a while but now I think I understand what she meant by that.
Kay - and they do for me too. Just this weekend was terrified because my husband has unexplained tailbone pain. I had to do a LOT of mental work to not escalate and to calm down. It's getting easier than it used to, but I'm far from perfect.
I wish I could be locked up and put in a straight jacket - seriously what the hell is going on....its getting so bad to the point I do not want to go out or work as I need to find the cause for this shoulder pain and cough......nervous wreck!
---------- Post added at 16:11 ---------- Previous post was at 16:08 ----------
Yes, when my mom was diagnosed they knew immediately and it wasn't any cancer we had even heard of. She said to me in the hospital that it was no use worrying all her life, as it didn't change what happened and nobody could have predicted or seen it coming. It messed me up for a while but now I think I understand what she meant by that.
Really deep down I know I cant do anything about it if this is the big C however I want to 'catch it' before it becomes terminal, am I sounding crazy.....sorry guys! Melt down :weep:
I wish I could be locked up and put in a straight jacket - seriously what the hell is going on....its getting so bad to the point I do not want to go out or work as I need to find the cause for this shoulder pain and cough......nervous wreck!
---------- Post added at 16:11 ---------- Previous post was at 16:08 ----------
Really deep down I know I cant do anything about it if this is the big C however I want to 'catch it' before it becomes terminal, am I sounding crazy.....sorry guys! Melt down :weep:
Yeah, I know how that feels and it's debilitating. When I got to that point, I went on lexapro and it was a lifesaver for me. After a few months, my anxiety was much more manageable and helped me be in a better place to learn in therapy as well.
Yes, when my mom was diagnosed they knew immediately and it wasn't any cancer we had even heard of. She said to me in the hospital that it was no use worrying all her life, as it didn't change what happened and nobody could have predicted or seen it coming. It messed me up for a while but now I think I understand what she meant by that.
That's what I'm talking about. Of the tens of thousands of fears I've read about here and responded to, I know of only two that actually were ill and guess what? They dealt with it and during their battle, their anxiety took a back seat. Ironically, it's remained there afterwards (they're both doing great now). When you actually face your fear, there's no time to worry as you're in the midst of the battle and it's all about winning it. You come to appreciate the little things in life that are most important and cherish them. (READ MY SIGNATURE!)
I have real physical issues that can put me 6 feet under. You have an illness that's doing that to you above ground. Fortunately, you can get treatment and I'll tell you it's a lot less painful that the treatments I had! I'm telling you as a survivor how I did it. Take my advice on board or not...
Good luck and as always
Positive thoughts
You can... with therapy and meds if needed along with a lot of hard work, you can!
I sought therapy after my cancer as I did after my heart attacks. I took meds for a bit and they helped while I got my feet under me. I have a "chill pill" now that I can take as needed and have needed dealing with my wife's illness. Most of all I worked my ass off to get better both physically and mentally.
IMO, you can overcome this. If I did it with what I went through, you can and you haven't even had to deal with the physical illnesses I have. These are words on a screen. Cathartic? yes.... the road to healing? Only if you act on them.
Good luck and as always
Positive thoughts
Thank you,
I want to get this under control but don't know how to, I'd have to go to my gp but I can't physically make myself go. Fear is my biggest problem, how can I overcome that? My worry of being diagnosed with cancer is'nt for myself, it's what it would do to my kids.
---------- Post added at 16:48 ---------- Previous post was at 16:45 ----------
What I cannot get is what is real and what is not!!! I am not sure if the pain in my shoulder is indeed real or is this from anxiety OR lung cancer! Does it help me looking at stats, yes it does....I continually checking them over and over again......geez......I am back at the GP next week Monday going to ask for an Xray or something, I have ordered bloods to be done too, read that abnormal sodium levels is a strong link to Small cell lung cancer and can cause breathlessness......Rainbow, petrified......& yes just like you....I have to build the courage up to see the GP but I have to...this could be THE ONE that gets me!
One a different note, I was watching Telly this Saturday evening and just burst into tears....husband looks all confused and cannot understand what this is doing to me...I feel helpless and stupid but scared I have a tumor in my lung right now! Persistent symptoms are getting to me right now, sorry for the rant but I am genuinely petrified.
---------- Post added at 15:59 ---------- Previous post was at 15:53 ----------
I think I just got so exhausted from being scared all the time that I was like "F it, if it gets me then I'll deal with it then."
I tell myself that but then symptoms rear themself
Also, all I have done today is google and google some more........dammit!!![/QUOTE]
I wish I could say something to make you feel better but there isn't anything that will help. I hope you get the answers you need when you see your gp.
Thank you,
I want to get this under control but don't know how to, I'd have to go to my gp but I can't physically make myself go. Fear is my biggest problem, how can I overcome that? My worry of being diagnosed with cancer is'nt for myself, it's what it would do to my kids.
I've told you how. Therapy and meds and a lot of hard work. That's how! As a mother, I'm sure you would do anything for your children. Then do it for them! Your fear would not be a factor in protecting and helping them would it? Then get your rear end to the doctor, talk about your anxiety and get some help!
Help yourself and you help your children!
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
I saw this
Tbh, nothing really. I keep looking up statistics which is probably making me worse.
and came here to post this:
I've told you how. Therapy and meds and a lot of hard work. That's how! As a mother, I'm sure you would do anything for your children. Then do it for them! Your fear would not be a factor in protecting and helping them would it? Then get your rear end to the doctor, talk about your anxiety and get some help!
Help yourself and you help your children!
s
Start working on it now.
Carrie8484
13-02-17, 16:59
Yes, I live with an intense cancer phobia 24/7.
To me it's not 'if' I will get cancer, it's 'when'.
Yes, I live with an intense cancer phobia 24/7.
To me it's not 'if' I will get cancer, it's 'when'.
100% the same! I think about what will happen when I go.
Yes, I live with an intense cancer phobia 24/7.
To me it's not 'if' I will get cancer, it's 'when'.
Exactly! It's like my mind won't let me think otherwise. It's a foregone conclusion.
---------- Post added at 18:15 ---------- Previous post was at 18:12 ----------
I've told you how. Therapy and meds and a lot of hard work. That's how! As a mother, I'm sure you would do anything for your children. Then do it for them! Your fear would not be a factor in protecting and helping them would it? Then get your rear end to the doctor, talk about your anxiety and get some help!
Help yourself and you help your children!
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
I'm on meds, have been since having pnd after the birth of my 4th child. I've had cbt twice and atm I'm having art therapy for a separate issue. If I see my gp about more cbt my art therapist said that she would no longer be able to work with me.
I'm on meds, have been since having pnd after the birth of my 4th child. I've had cbt twice and atm I'm having art therapy for a separate issue. If I see my gp about more cbt my art therapist said that she would no longer be able to work with me.
Got it... thank you for your honesty. I wish you and all that suffer with this fear the best.
Positive thoughts
Got it... thank you for your honesty. I wish you and all that suffer with this fear the best.
Positive thoughts
Thank you.
I think I just needed to hear that I'm not the only one that has this huge, obsessive fear. I'm ashamed that I'm letting it take my peace of mind. I'm not the person I used to be or that I want to be.
I too have a fear of the big C. A family member was diagnosed just over 2 years ago (cancer was caught early thankfully), but it's made me even worse watching this person break down etc and them talking about the chemo etc (although I also have an allergic reaction fear too so am scared of drugs and the likes). I'm worried about a lot of illnesses due to my HA, but that terrifies me the most because of the way it's supposedly increasing.
I'm scared of getting cancer and dying too particularly as my adult children both have special needs and my daughter relies on me completely and fears my imminent death because she has no one else who understands her. I have HA but I refuse to let it take over my life and I will not ask for reassurance from anybody. I also believe my test results. I need to be there mentally for other people and HA does not allow me to be a proper mother or partner.
Some people are stronger than others...... cant sit here and say im going to try as ive said it many a times, pointless now! GP next week asking for xray and bloods, take it from there. If it is LC then well..... hopefully it gets sorted! Symptoms can also be real, ive had many real symptoms and they proved fatal to me so..... we cant ignore symptoms (im not saying we are assuming this) but to me the symptom is real and cant doubt myself as i could say 'if only i checked it out'
Some people are stronger than others......
And all have the ability to lift themselves up and overcome or at the very least improve their situation. It's a matter of desire, determination and persistence. How long it takes is not a concern. It's all about putting one foot in front of the other.
Positive Thoughts
I'm not a particularly strong person, Kay, whatever that means...But I refuse to give in to something over which I have a choice. Learn to manage it or spend your life suffering "disease" after "disease".
Those poor people who have a cancer diagnosis have no choice. We do.
Those poor people who have a cancer diagnosis have no choice. We do.
Well Said! :yesyes:
Positive thoughts
Geez ok! I get it.........
Lastly please dont get annoyed with people and HA.....we all here for a reason.
Cheers!
I'm scared of getting cancer and dying too particularly as my adult children both have special needs and my daughter relies on me completely and fears my imminent death because she has no one else who understands her. I have HA but I refuse to let it take over my life and I will not ask for reassurance from anybody. I also believe my test results. I need to be there mentally for other people and HA does not allow me to be a proper mother or partner.
I admire your way of thinking, I only wish I could apply it to myself. The thing is I can be strong in a lot of aspects in my life, had a hell of a lot to deal with over the years and I've coped, quite well I think. When it comes to the thought of leaving my children without a mother I literally fall to pieces. I know I'm wasting my precious time on earth with this constant worry but please don't think I want to be like this or that I'm not trying to help myself. I'm still doing the things I need to do for my family it's just a lot harder to get through every day like this.
Lastly please dont get annoyed with people and HA.....we all here for a reason.
Cheers!
Kay,
It's not an annoyance. Please try and see it from another perspective. People come and ask for help and advice as well as reassurance. In many cases, good advice and/or reassurance is offered and the replies are almost an argument as to why it won't work, or why one cannot do this or that or a series of "What If's" to counter the advice and reassurance. It's almost as if one would be happier being told that actually have the illness they fear or stay the way they are.
Do you see that? (I know you do ;)) So in many cases driving a point home and forcing someone to look in the mirror while not pleasant, is necessary.
Again... to all that have this fear. I personally get it as I lived it, but you can overcome it. I not only beat the beast, I beat the dragon that came along with it after the fact ;)
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Kay,
It's not an annoyance. Please try and see it from another perspective. People come and ask for help and advice as well as reassurance. In many cases, good advice and/or reassurance is offered and the replies are almost an argument as to why it won't work, or why one cannot do this or that or a series of "What If's" to counter the advice and reassurance. It's almost as if one would be happier being told that actually have the illness they fear or stay the way they are.
Do you see that? (I know you do ;)) So in many cases driving a point home and forcing someone to look in the mirror while not pleasant, is necessary.
Again... to all that have this fear. I personally get it as I lived it, but you can overcome it. I not only beat the beast, I beat the dragon that came along with it after the fact ;)
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
I do agree with this to be honest. It's only that when I'm deep in the spiral I don't appreciate the harsh words then and there but later if I'm just having smaller bouts of anxiety, I'll remember some tough love words someone has said to me and it helps push me out of the phase.
MyNameIsTerry
14-02-17, 00:25
Some people are stronger than others...... cant sit here and say im going to try as ive said it many a times, pointless now! GP next week asking for xray and bloods, take it from there. If it is LC then well..... hopefully it gets sorted! Symptoms can also be real, ive had many real symptoms and they proved fatal to me so..... we cant ignore symptoms (im not saying we are assuming this) but to me the symptom is real and cant doubt myself as i could say 'if only i checked it out'
Kay,
You said you needed to catch it before being terminal? If you've read about LC then you know that symptoms appear at two stages and one of them is terminal. People caught before those stages are found by chance due to testing for other things.
How long do you think it will be before it takes such an aggressive cancer to pass into the terminal stage? Will it be the many months people post on here about symptoms?
At terminal stages you would be quite ill and without treatment you would become very ill, very quickly. I know someone who was diagnosed as terminal and without 4-6 weeks she had been in hospital a month struggling to breathe and could climb the stairs no more than once a day. Prior to this she an active person in a walking club. Within a couple of months she was in a wheelchair and was in treatment at this point.
I know it's hard, I've been severe in my own anxieties, and I spent over a year like that with nothing helping. What you have too do is try small and let it add up over time. It will be painful but things will change.
I was sitting shaking all day on the settee terrified of moving due to fear of new bodily sensations. I was afraid brushing my teeth eating made me panic, sitting on the toilet made me worse, etc. Then the OCD started and I spent a very long time walking to the supermarket doing the exact same things "or else". I didn't even know what I was afraid of half of that time, but it was there.
Hundreds of compulsions a day. A non stop endless hell. Walking the streets in tears. Often wishing something would just seems it will. That including wishing the things you fear onto myself. Thinking that would be lucky as I could then be at peace and then feeling guilty about leaving my family behind.
It was just pain. I have nothing to apologise for to anyone who has suffered what I wished on myself, it's part of being human when you can't take anymore. I've known people with cancer, terminal as well, and none thought badly of people suffering pain feeling desperate as they understood how your thoughts just go there.
I know you feel you can't get better. I've been there. I didn't think I would get even the slightest bit better, it seemed impossible and I thought that was my life. I did, I'm not cured by a long way but I'm a million miles away from that person.
When I see people say what you are, I know it's flawed and that you will also when you start turning those corners.
And your GP needs to grow a spine and stop ordering tests to get people out of the surgery when they must know it's unneeded.
I worry so much about cancer.
I sure hope I get it - otherwise it'll be a COMPLETE WASTE of all my worrying if I die of something else! :D:D:D
roseanxiety
14-02-17, 00:47
I have major worries about this. That's all.
MyNameIsTerry
14-02-17, 00:54
I worry so much about cancer.
I sure hope I get it - otherwise it'll be a COMPLETE WASTE of all my worrying if I die of something else! :D:D:D
I think there is a missed issue though - if they cured your cancer, do you think all your thinking will change with it because your fear occurred?
Or would you get cured of cancer and then your unresolved anxiety just starts again?
---------- Post added at 00:54 ---------- Previous post was at 00:51 ----------
Tracey,
My GAD includes fear of appointments.
There will have to be a point where you force yourself to go. It will be very hard but I'd necessary. I found I would be less likely not to back out if someone went with me.
Hi Terry,
if they cured your cancer,
No, mine's going to be incurable! :)
GlassPinata
14-02-17, 01:04
I too have major fears about cancer.
Sometimes I will think I have like 3 or 4 different types of cancer in a single week!
I guess the only thing that reassures me is knowing that I'm unlikely to get more than one TYPE of cancer simultaneously... therefore, if I believe I have multiple types of cancer, I'm probably wrong about all but one of them. And therefore, I'm probably wrong about having ANY of them!
But the symptoms seem so real at times.... :(
Hi Terry,
No, mine's going to be incurable! :)
LOL this made me giggle, I totally get this XD :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 01:13 ---------- Previous post was at 01:11 ----------
I too have major fears about cancer.
Sometimes I will think I have like 3 or 4 different types of cancer in a single week!
I guess the only thing that reassures me is knowing that I'm unlikely to get more than one TYPE of cancer simultaneously... therefore, if I believe I have multiple types of cancer, I'm probably wrong about all but one of them. And therefore, I'm probably wrong about having ANY of them!
But the symptoms seem so real at times.... :(
I usually don't get like this unless I'm really bad. But the other day, I was in a dark place and sincerly believed I had
-Throat cancer
-Thyroid cancer
-Lymphoma (only the lord knows what type I thought I had)
- A brain tumour or possible fatal brain infection.
All in the space of a couple of hours. How is this even possible to believe such things? :(
MyNameIsTerry
14-02-17, 01:41
Hi Terry,
No, mine's going to be incurable! :)
Hi Dave,
But imagine if you believed in reincarnation and came back as yourself! :winks:
Kathryn313
14-02-17, 03:38
My HA is always Cancer related. EDMR seemed to work well for me...alongside self care...massage, nightly youtube meditations ect...but I still have a passing thought most days of the 'what if'.
I almost have to try and live my life as if I do have cancer, which I know sounds wierd...makes me appreciate the time I do have.
Kay,
You said you needed to catch it before being terminal? If you've read about LC then you know that symptoms appear at two stages and one of them is terminal. People caught before those stages are found by chance due to testing for other things.
How long do you think it will be before it takes such an aggressive cancer to pass into the terminal stage? Will it be the many months people post on here about symptoms?
At terminal stages you would be quite ill and without treatment you would become very ill, very quickly. I know someone who was diagnosed as terminal and without 4-6 weeks she had been in hospital a month struggling to breathe and could climb the stairs no more than once a day. Prior to this she an active person in a walking club. Within a couple of months she was in a wheelchair and was in treatment at this point.
I know it's hard, I've been severe in my own anxieties, and I spent over a year like that with nothing helping. What you have too do is try small and let it add up over time. It will be painful but things will change.
I was sitting shaking all day on the settee terrified of moving due to fear of new bodily sensations. I was afraid brushing my teeth eating made me panic, sitting on the toilet made me worse, etc. Then the OCD started and I spent a very long time walking to the supermarket doing the exact same things "or else". I didn't even know what I was afraid of half of that time, but it was there.
Hundreds of compulsions a day. A non stop endless hell. Walking the streets in tears. Often wishing something would just seems it will. That including wishing the things you fear onto myself. Thinking that would be lucky as I could then be at peace and then feeling guilty about leaving my family behind.
It was just pain. I have nothing to apologise for to anyone who has suffered what I wished on myself, it's part of being human when you can't take anymore. I've known people with cancer, terminal as well, and none thought badly of people suffering pain feeling desperate as they understood how your thoughts just go there.
I know you feel you can't get better. I've been there. I didn't think I would get even the slightest bit better, it seemed impossible and I thought that was my life. I did, I'm not cured by a long way but I'm a million miles away from that person.
When I see people say what you are, I know it's flawed and that you will also when you start turning those corners.
And your GP needs to grow a spine and stop ordering tests to get people out of the surgery when they must know it's unneeded.
When symptoms dont go that when my HA gets to breaking point like it is now
---------- Post added at 08:44 ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 ----------
Petrified to go back to the GP even though I want to....my mind is just not well!
Lastly please dont get annoyed with people and HA.....we all here for a reason.
Cheers!
Actually I think when you can start getting annoyed with your HA it will be the start of your recovery from it. I wish you well, Kay, but I know you're not receptive to my approach to HA so I'll leave this thread and hope that things improve for you in terms of your anxiety.
Rainbow, getting through each day with HA is exhausting. I think all you can do is live as healthily as you can to minimise the obvious risks but ultimately you have to accept that element of uncertainty.
MyNameIsTerry
14-02-17, 09:54
When symptoms dont go that when my HA gets to breaking point like it is now
---------- Post added at 08:44 ---------- Previous post was at 08:43 ----------
Petrified to go back to the GP even though I want to....my mind is just not well!
Some of my symptoms go back to the beginning, that's 10 years now. I've had new ones pop up and going on the meds brought a lot of new problems.
At some point you have to find that gap and stick a wedge in it and push for your life. I hope you find it and fight for recovery. Sometimes that can mean hitting rock bottom and getting sick of it all.
My HA is always Cancer related. EDMR seemed to work well for me...alongside self care...massage, nightly youtube meditations ect...but I still have a passing thought most days of the 'what if'.
I almost have to try and live my life as if I do have cancer, which I know sounds wierd...makes me appreciate the time I do have.
Kathryn, I've been following your posts and you seem to be doing really well with your positivity. I can relate to living your life as if you do have cancer, unfortunately for me it makes me feel worse. Since I turned 50, in my mind it feels inevitable that I'm going to get cancer.
At some point you have to find that gap and stick a wedge in it and push for your life. I hope you find it and fight for recovery. Sometimes that can mean hitting rock bottom and getting sick of it all.
Thanks :)
Actually I think when you can start getting annoyed with your HA it will be the start of your recovery from it. I wish you well, Kay, but I know you're not receptive to my approach to HA so I'll leave this thread and hope that things improve for you in terms of your anxiety.
Rainbow, getting through each day with HA is exhausting. I think all you can do is live as healthily as you can to minimise the obvious risks but ultimately you have to accept that element of uncertainty.
Every day feels the same to me, I barely go out, can't remember the last time I went to town. I try to eat healthy but barely exercise as I feel more anxious when I move around. My fear is made worse by the fact that I'm about 3 stone overweight although have lost almost 3 stone overweight six months due to the anxiety. I know that obesity is linked to many cancers, so that's another nail in my coffin.
I often find myself wondering what's the point of it all? Why are we here just to die.
---------- Post added at 10:53 ---------- Previous post was at 10:50 ----------
I think there is a missed issue though - if they cured your cancer, do you think all your thinking will change with it because your fear occurred?
Or would you get cured of cancer and then your unresolved anxiety just starts again?
---------- Post added at 00:54 ---------- Previous post was at 00:51 ----------
Tracey,
My GAD includes fear of appointments.
There will have to be a point where you force yourself to go. It will be very hard but I'd necessary. I found I would be less likely not to back out if someone went with me.
My fear is of needing some medical testing done, I couldn't cope with the waiting for results, I honestly think I would break down.
Kay,
It's not an annoyance. Please try and see it from another perspective. People come and ask for help and advice as well as reassurance. In many cases, good advice and/or reassurance is offered and the replies are almost an argument as to why it won't work, or why one cannot do this or that or a series of "What If's" to counter the advice and reassurance. It's almost as if one would be happier being told that actually have the illness they fear or stay the way they are.
Do you see that? (I know you do ;)) So in many cases driving a point home and forcing someone to look in the mirror while not pleasant, is necessary.
Again... to all that have this fear. I personally get it as I lived it, but you can overcome it. I not only beat the beast, I beat the dragon that came along with it after the fact ;)
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Thank you & honestly I know you are right...I am trying to see other peoples perspective, I am taking my anti depressants for about 3 weeks now, I just need to focus my mind and overcome this, like you say, I can overcome this....
Thanks again :)
Kay,
What antidepressants are you on? Hope you're feeling a little better today x
Kay,
What antidepressants are you on? Hope you're feeling a little better today x
Hi
On citralopam - feeling worse than yesterday only because the back pain when breathing in is getting sharper...
Starting meds along with trying to quit smoking at the same time is a recipe for increased anxiety. No wonder you're having a hard time :(
Hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
I might just go to Emergency after work if this continues........scaring the hell out of me....like something is pressing on my back....hurts every time I breathe in deeply & now I am breathing in deeper and deeper all the time and feeling it all the time...
I'm feeling the same fear too
I'm feeling the same fear too
Its terrible - I feel worse than ever
Sorry to be harsh but Accident and Emergency is not there to provide re-assurance.
Sorry to be harsh but Accident and Emergency is not there to provide re-assurance.
No problem - I am not seeking re-assurance - I have had two PE's in my life including Pneumonia I don't want to take risks, that's all, will see how I feel later
MyNameIsTerry
14-02-17, 23:52
I might just go to Emergency after work if this continues........scaring the hell out of me....like something is pressing on my back....hurts every time I breathe in deeply & now I am breathing in deeper and deeper all the time and feeling it all the time...
That can easily be muscular tension, Kay. I didn't get it on Cit bit since going on Duloxetine I've had muscle aches like never before.
With this I found myself controlling my breathing more and that caused more aching. When we try to manually breath more, we change how are normal breathing occurs and put more strain on ourselves. Then you get the aches & pains.
It made me feel like an old man in my thirties.
---------- Post added at 23:52 ---------- Previous post was at 23:45 ----------
My fear is of needing some medical testing done, I couldn't cope with the waiting for results, I honestly think I would break down.
There is a way around this. Tell your GP that you have HA and you fear testing. GP's seem to perform reassurance tests far too really because HAers are pushing for it. Knowing you want help with your fears only, they can be more assertive (as they should be anyway with all patients) and focus on the true issue without the push.
I know you are having art therapy for other reasons but can your GP agree that treatment alongside is needed for your anxiety? It's a list & box culture but if they want to change it for the patient's best interests, they should be able to.
My fear is of needing some medical testing done, I couldn't cope with the waiting for results, I honestly think I would break down.
Any tests I have, my GP says book an appointment in 2 weeks time for the results. When I complained I would get anxious waiting that long, he said, if it was anything serious, then of course he wouldn't wait two weeks he'd get in touch straightaway! That helped me to feel more relaxed about waiting.
YES Rainbow ALL THE TIME!!!! Currently I know I have lung cancer........and I too have to have a full body MRI scan!!!
And right now I am in such a panic and state..............also, few months back Breast lump, GP felt nothing however I do.....thinking it could be BC now that has spread hence why the shoulder! OMG, sorry just seriously panicked and struggling...
Kay, this is my theme ATM too... I have a cough and sore right lung so I think it's a melanoma on my lung as we see a few of these at my hospital where I work. I'm wondering if I make the cough worse by coughing ( if that makes sense). Do you do this?
---------- Post added at 14:37 ---------- Previous post was at 14:35 ----------
Being a survivor, I have an understanding of this fear. Interestingly enough, I don't really fear it anymore. If anything, if indeed I get it again, it will be more a PITA than anything else. Even if it's not treatable. What a PITA! :mad:
Most cancers are treatable and the cure rates are high these days. So do you fear the illness or the things that go along with it? Yep, it sucks and the treatment sucks too but you deal with it and heal and move on with your life.
Now, nearly 4 years out, the memories of the treatment and what I went through are fading just like the memories of loves lost and broken hearts do.
The thing is, you are ill, just not physically. Hopefully, with treating your anxiety, those fears will become distant memories as you heal.
Positive thoughts
Fishmanpa, you should be voted president of no more panic. Your replies are always the best.
[QUOTE=Leah88;1647937]Kay, this is my theme ATM too... I have a cough and sore right lung so I think it's a melanoma on my lung as we see a few of these at my hospital where I work. I'm wondering if I make the cough worse by coughing ( if that makes sense). Do you do this?[COLOR="blue"
Not sure what I do anymore, just in panic mode right now, nothing makes sense
That can easily be muscular tension, Kay. I didn't get it on Cit bit since going on Duloxetine I've had muscle aches like never before.
With this I found myself controlling my breathing more and that caused more aching. When we try to manually breath more, we change how are normal breathing occurs and put more strain on ourselves. Then you get the aches & pains.
It made me feel like an old man in my thirties.
---------- Post added at 23:52 ---------- Previous post was at 23:45 ----------
There is a way around this. Tell your GP that you have HA and you fear testing. GP's seem to perform reassurance tests far too really because HAers are pushing for it. Knowing you want help with your fears only, they can be more assertive (as they should be anyway with all patients) and focus on the true issue without the push.
I know you are having art therapy for other reasons but can your GP agree that treatment alongside is needed for your anxiety? It's a list & box culture but if they want to change it for the patient's best interests, they should be able to.
I do want to see my gp about the anxiety but I worry that once I'm there I'll break down and just ask to have all the tests to ease my mind. This obsession over my bowels has been going on for 6 months now and while the anxiety is a little lower than before, it's still there. I keep reading about people diagnosed with bowel cancer that had no symptoms but are stage 4 and terminal. I feel certain that I am going to be one of those people even though I had no issues with my bowels before this started. I just want to feel happy again.
I do want to see my gp about the anxiety but I worry that once I'm there I'll break down and just ask to have all the tests to ease my mind. This obsession over my bowels has been going on for 6 months now and while the anxiety is a little lower than before, it's still there. I keep reading about people diagnosed with bowel cancer that had no symptoms but are stage 4 and terminal. I feel certain that I am going to be one of those people even though I had no issues with my bowels before this started. I just want to feel happy again.
This is exactly how I feel, no symptoms or just a 'sore back' and they turned out to be Terminal LC. I am at the GP tomorrow to get this back pain looked at.
I do not know what to say anymore (maybe I have said too much, doing my head in)
Hope other than the anxiety that you are ok
This is exactly how I feel, no symptoms or just a 'sore back' and they turned out to be Terminal LC. I am at the GP tomorrow to get this back pain looked at.
I do not know what to say anymore (maybe I have said too much, doing my head in)
Hope other than the anxiety that you are ok
I'm not too bad but had an episode of diahorrea yesterday which freaked me out so a bit wobbly today.
We really shouldn't read these stories should we? It's so damn tiring, I hate this. Hope your gp appt goes ok.
No, you shouldn't deliberately seek these stories out but that is an HA compulsion. Can you recognise that and try and check that compulsion? Why would you knowingly read these stories when you know they will just feed your HA? This is where you HAVE to be tough with yourself. No amount of pills or therapy will do this for you-impossible though it might seem you need to resist the urge to deliberately search these stories out in order to make a start on managing your HA.
Im only new here, stumbled over this site as I was googling my latest cancer symptoms, a mole giving me back and shoulder pain! and got such a sense of relief that there are other people who feel the same way Im heading for 60, and Ive never ever spoken about this before except to one counsellor who was great but could only afford a few sessions with her. My father died of cancer of the jaw in the 1970's plus I had to do nursing for a year in a terminal hospital when I was 18.. from then on Ive known its been my destiny to get cancer. literally over the last 40 years its taken over my life so I totally totally understand, in my head its payback for all the bad things Ive ever done, and the modern trend for cancer awareness is just the worst thing-check for this, check for that, these are the symptoms... its so awful... I fit the symptoms of every type of cancer, currently its melanoma.. I know there is more stuff all linked in with this, but Rainbow, my heart goes out to you and I totally hope hope hope you find a way of dealing with this that allows you live your life without this hanging over your head xx
I have the cancer fear too. It tends to switch from one type of cancer to another, but my 'fallbacks' seem to be brain tumour (been battling this fear on and off for around 4 months now), ovarian cancer and skin cancer. It's just really tiring. I write a blog about my experiences and I find that helps. I do relaxation and I have acupuncture. I've been putting off going back on meds since before Christmas now. For me, leaving my kids is also the biggest fear I have. I could cry just thinking about it. Love to you all.
Im only new here, stumbled over this site as I was googling my latest cancer symptoms, a mole giving me back and shoulder pain! and got such a sense of relief that there are other people who feel the same way Im heading for 60, and Ive never ever spoken about this before except to one counsellor who was great but could only afford a few sessions with her. My father died of cancer of the jaw in the 1970's plus I had to do nursing for a year in a terminal hospital when I was 18.. from then on Ive known its been my destiny to get cancer. literally over the last 40 years its taken over my life so I totally totally understand, in my head its payback for all the bad things Ive ever done, and the modern trend for cancer awareness is just the worst thing-check for this, check for that, these are the symptoms... its so awful... I fit the symptoms of every type of cancer, currently its melanoma.. I know there is more stuff all linked in with this, but Rainbow, my heart goes out to you and I totally hope hope hope you find a way of dealing with this that allows you live your life without this hanging over your head xx
Hi, sorry that you suffer like this too. We are surrounded by cancer and it's terrifying. Could you try to access some counselling from your gp? I'vr had cbt and it really did help but I definitely need a refresher course. I'm tired of living in fear and all the intrusive thoughts that comes with it.
---------- Post added at 08:24 ---------- Previous post was at 08:19 ----------
I have the cancer fear too. It tends to switch from one type of cancer to another, but my 'fallbacks' seem to be brain tumour (been battling this fear on and off for around 4 months now), ovarian cancer and skin cancer. It's just really tiring. I write a blog about my experiences and I find that helps. I do relaxation and I have acupuncture. I've been putting off going back on meds since before Christmas now. For me, leaving my kids is also the biggest fear I have. I could cry just thinking about it. Love to you all.
It's awful isn't it? People without this fear just don't understand. I'm glad that you have ways to deal with it that helps. Why are you putting off going on meds? How old are your children?
almamatters
16-02-17, 08:48
I have this fear and have had for years. Sometimes I can cope and other times (like at present) I can't. I'm classed as 'cancer phobic' at the surgery which I feel doesn't help as the doctor just thinks I'm anxious even when I feel ill. The thought of this illness is enough to make me have panic attacks. I'm on my third lot of CBT and still I'm struggling with it. I hope you are feeling better soon Kay.
MyNameIsTerry
16-02-17, 09:12
It's all subjective, rainbow. Anxiety gets crippling no matter what the theme. I think it's all a matter of complexity & intensity, the more things you struggle with the more you get triggered but some people get fever pitch or panic attacks so it depends how we are.
In terms of the theme though, I agree with you. I have no understanding of what you go through. It's just alien to me. I find a lump or bump and I just couldn't care less. See a cancer advert, doesn't affect me at all. But you would be the same with my themes. That's good though because it allows us all to help each other on here because the rest of you could easily tell me where I'm being irrational & why.
I would hope that if you took in something like you write on here, your GP should be able to take control of the meeting. My GP won't order tests for love nor money, and I'm not a HAer, he's just more used to being assertive I guess? I had to see a new GP at the practice who wanted me to have an ECG just because I had an asthma attack & panicked but I got into see my regular GP and he used said "rip it up, there is nothing wrong with your heart". He knew it was anxiety/panic symptoms and recognised a doctors ruling out check was a waste of NHS money.
On the day it probably will be hard. The way around it is to write it beforehand and hand it over. Something explaining your irrational fears over the current theme. Since you've been through treatment for your HA, they will already have knowledge of what is going on. But giving them a note explaining "I know it's all in my head but please I need to speak to you about my anxiety and not my HA theme". If they understand that, they could stop discussion of those symptoms and take the conversation back to the anxiety only.
Ask yourself what good worrying is doing for you, and what does it change?
I'm actually having issues right now, and waiting on a colonoscopy to get things checked.
I've been a little more stressed and anxious than normal, but there is really no point me panicking and jumping to conclusions.
And I have had health anxiety really bad at times.
Put things in perspective.
Kathryn313
16-02-17, 09:41
Rainbow - what good things are there in your life right now?
I guess an obvious answer to the question 'how do you cope?' Is we come to this site and share our experiences.
Me too.....I had recent scare with symptoms of bowel cancer. Been for tests and got all clear but still petrified. So much so I've taken to the couch and won't leave the house.
I'm sooo worried yet there is still a part of me telling me to pull myself together...it will be something else next month...hate this situation soooo much. :weep:
I'm sooo worried yet there is still a part of me telling me to pull myself together.
Thats the part you need to listen to.
Life is currently passing you by. Before you know it, years will have passed.
Will today be the day you make a change?
Yes....today is the day! My life is indeed passing me by.
There is still that part of me that is strong and will get me up and going again...which is the very reason I need support to do so and joined the forum.
I need a good kick up the backside I'm afraid.
Maybe not a kick up the backside but you do need to actively want to do something about your situation rather than just compare symptoms/fears with other HA sufferers.
It's certainly not easy but your quality of life will be so much better.
Ask yourself what good worrying is doing for you, and what does it change?
I'm actually having issues right now, and waiting on a colonoscopy to get things checked.
I've been a little more stressed and anxious than normal, but there is really no point me panicking and jumping to conclusions.
And I have had health anxiety really bad at times.
Put things in perspective.
I do ask myself these questions and I really do try to stop worrying but something will happen and all my good intentions just disappear. If you don't mind me asking what are your symptoms that's prompted your gp to refer you for a colonoscopy?
---------- Post added at 12:19 ---------- Previous post was at 12:12 ----------
It's all subjective, rainbow. Anxiety gets crippling no matter what the theme. I think it's all a matter of complexity & intensity, the more things you struggle with the more you get triggered but some people get fever pitch or panic attacks so it depends how we are.
In terms of the theme though, I agree with you. I have no understanding of what you go through. It's just alien to me. I find a lump or bump and I just couldn't care less. See a cancer advert, doesn't affect me at all. But you would be the same with my themes. That's good though because it allows us all to help each other on here because the rest of you could easily tell me where I'm being irrational & why.
I would hope that if you took in something like you write on here, your GP should be able to take control of the meeting. My GP won't order tests for love nor money, and I'm not a HAer, he's just more used to being assertive I guess? I had to see a new GP at the practice who wanted me to have an ECG just because I had an asthma attack & panicked but I got into see my regular GP and he used said "rip it up, there is nothing wrong with your heart". He knew it was anxiety/panic symptoms and recognised a doctors ruling out check was a waste of NHS money.
On the day it probably will be hard. The way around it is to write it beforehand and hand it over. Something explaining your irrational fears over the current theme. Since you've been through treatment for your HA, they will already have knowledge of what is going on. But giving them a note explaining "I know it's all in my head but please I need to speak to you about my anxiety and not my HA theme". If they understand that, they could stop discussion of those symptoms and take the conversation back to the anxiety only.
My daughter is like you, she doesn't worry about lumps and bumps and things like that, I'm in awe of her.
I worry if I go to the gp about the HA only that I'm going to be really ill and it'll be too late for me. My symptoms are vague but every time I notice anything different it sets off a massive anxiety attack. I can barely do anything at all, I just want to sit and not move or talk. My thoughts torture me every waking moment.
[QUOTE=rainbow;1648489]I do ask myself these questions and I really do try to stop worrying but something will happen and all my good intentions just disappear. If you don't mind me asking what are your symptoms that's prompted your gp to refer you for a colonoscopy?[COLOR="blue"]
Trust me every GP is different some will refer some wont. As you know mine did after 4 trips to him with the same issue plus the anxiety, he probably thought I just want to get rid of her..... i would have thought if red flags arent present or its an ongoing issue with no real effect with meds if given also taking age and symptoms and NICE guidelines into consideration they will or wont refer. I hate the word symptom its such a broad term as 1 symptom could be a factor in diagnosing but combined or not with something else could, so glad im not a GP. Saw a GP today with my back ache and cough, had the NICE guidelines open infront of him. I said to him 'i am a person' please listen to my symptoms they might not be textbook!
I have realised life is a gamble, worry or not the outcome is all the same at the end of our lives. Like SLA said what is worrying going to help other than make you go insane like i currently feel, it will change no outcome. Im going to try and take my own advice! Persisting symptoms do need investigation however when its anxiety fuelled or not I have to learn to tell the difference.
How to live with the fear of cancer?
9 pages on the subject. Some excellent advice and suggestions but it still comes down to actually taking action.
If you have the inner fortitude and discipline to treat yourself and your anxiety, then that puts you in the 1% and good for you. Otherwise, professional help (therapy and/or meds) is needed to overcome your anxiety. Then, along with professional help, a LOT of hard work! Been there done it as I stated earlier in this thread.
You can go on with this 9 more pages but it won't change a thing until you actually act on your own behalf.
A few weeks from now, it will be obvious who has and who hasn't.
Positive thoughts
Well im sorry but I prefer to talk about my anxiety rather than building them up!! Yes 9 pages the same thing over and over and yes we all need help some will take the advice some wont some will be an exception some wont but its so obvious that this "cancer phobia" is bigger than what I thought (personally)
Anyway good luck to all.
Cheers
How to live with the fear of cancer?
9 pages on the subject. Some excellent advice and suggestions but it still comes down to actually taking action.
If you have the inner fortitude and discipline to treat yourself and your anxiety, then that puts you in the 1% and good for you. Otherwise, professional help (therapy and/or meds) is needed to overcome your anxiety. Then, along with professional help, a LOT of hard word. Been there done it as I stated earlier in this thread.
You can go on with this 9 more pages but it won't change a thing until you actually act on your own behalf.
A few weeks from now, it will be obvious who has and who hasn't.
Positive thoughts
I honestly have taken all the comments on board, the advice is really good and I'm grateful for that.
How do I get the fear to back down? I start off thinking today I'm going to try harder but something will freak me out and I'm back to square one again. I'm obsessive over my bowel movements, they are the main focus of every day and I can honestly say that this is slowly driving me insane. I think I'm a lost cause.
MyNameIsTerry
16-02-17, 12:55
Crikey, a GP actually referring to NICE guidelines! That's like when I see a post where a GP got a book out to check meds. It's good because many, like mine, just seem to think they know it all in their minds and don't refer to anything.
I would prefer one that actually does some research over one that just assumes the advice they give is the right way to go.
this "cancer phobia" is bigger than what I thought (personally)
Yep... it's one of the biggies if not THE biggest fear. Cancer of all types and the things that go along with it... nodes, poo, boobs etc. Then you have the niche groups... ALS, MS, HIV etc. .. and the really niche groups... brain eating amoebas, rabies, SFI etc.
The OP was a valid question. How to live with the fear of cancer?. Does knowing that dozens of others on the forum suffer the same fear help you overcome the fear? Perhaps there's a bit of comfort in that you're not alone but that's not going to stop the fear.
Some perspective... Do you worry about dying in a traffic accident? Does that stop you from driving? There are dozens of other analogies I could make but again, it still comes down to taking action.
Keep in mind, just talking about your fears in this medium may actually be keeping them alive. All the "I feel this way too" and then the inevitable "Do you get XYZ symptoms?" while it may be cathartic in a way, is actually keeping the cycle of worry going as you're focusing on the fears as opposed to actually doing pro-active things to deal with them.
Again... I lived it and yeah, it sucks big time, but you all don't have it yet you're living as if you do. I find it sad and in some ways insulting to all that actually suffer. If I had one... ONE test that gave me the all clear I would have been jumping for joy. Many here have had more tests. scans etc. than I've had with two heart attacks and cancer and STILL worry... smh. If you want to get well, there's treatment and I can 100% assure you, it's WAY easier than chemo, rads, and major surgery!
Positive thoughts
I honestly have taken all the comments on board, the advice is really good and I'm grateful for that.
How do I get the fear to back down? I start off thinking today I'm going to try harder but something will freak me out and I'm back to square one again. I'm obsessive over my bowel movements, they are the main focus of every day and I can honestly say that this is slowly driving me insane. I think I'm a lost cause.
You are certainly not a lost cause, rainbow. What about trying to flush away your bowel movements without inspecting them? It'll be very hard at first but not impossible. You'll be terrified that you've "missed" something and the anxiety will be high but you have to make a start on this otherwise you'll still be in this high anxiety state for the foreseeable future...and that's such a sad way to live your life when you have no actual cancer diagnosis.
I honestly have taken all the comments on board, the advice is really good and I'm grateful for that.
How do I get the fear to back down? I start off thinking today I'm going to try harder but something will freak me out and I'm back to square one again. I'm obsessive over my bowel movements, they are the main focus of every day and I can honestly say that this is slowly driving me insane. I think I'm a lost cause.
You are lost in your own subconscious fears. They are steering the ship.
The conscious "you" realises this, and this is what causes anxiety, because "you" are not in control.
We all have deep fears of illness. I do, and I am managing HA today.
But, I CHOOSE to move on and focus on different things. Work... cycling... relationships... LIFE.
Time to take charge of your life, and stop living on auto-pilot.
If you think you are a lost cause then you are.
If you don't want to be a lost cause then you don't have to be.
Simple as that. And if someone says, "its not as easy as that" I am leaving!!!
Spending your time focussing on symptoms, asking about other people's symptoms, saying how awful things are etc is only going to keep you firmly entrenched in the HA victim mindset. You do have a choice as to whether you want to get better and make the most of your life or spend the rest of your life in fear of something over which you have little control.
Yep... it's one of the biggies if not THE biggest fear. Cancer of all types and the things that go along with it... nodes, poo, boobs etc. Then you have the niche groups... ALS, MS, HIV etc. .. and the really niche groups... brain eating amoebas, rabies, SFI etc.
The OP was a valid question. How to live with the fear of cancer?. Does knowing that dozens of others on the forum suffer the same fear help you overcome the fear? Perhaps there's a bit of comfort in that you're not alone but that's not going to stop the fear.
Some perspective... Do you worry about dying in a traffic accident? Does that stop you from driving? There are dozens of other analogies I could make but again, it still comes down to taking action.
Keep in mind, just talking about your fears in this medium may actually be keeping them alive. All the "I feel this way too" and then the inevitable "Do you get XYZ symptoms?" while it may be cathartic in a way, is actually keeping the cycle of worry going as you're focusing on the fears as opposed to actually doing pro-active things to deal with them.
Again... I lived it and yeah, it sucks big time, but you all don't have it yet you're living as if you do. I find it sad and in some ways insulting to all that actually suffer. If I had one... ONE test that gave me the all clear I would have been jumping for joy. Many here have had more tests. scans etc. than I've had with two heart attacks and cancer and STILL worry... smh. If you want to get well, there's treatment and I can 100% assure you, it's WAY easier than chemo, rads, and major surgery!
Positive thoughts
No I don't worry too much about dying in a road accident but I hate flying and since there's been all the terrorism in the world I can't bring myself to fly again. We were going to Turkey every year for the last 7 years and had amazing holidays but neither myself or my children want to get on a plane again. Also my mum died of a stroke at the age of 45, my dad had a heart attack and had ms and I don't overly worry about these things. I can't bear the thought of my kids having to watch me go through treatment and possibly dying. If it wasn't for my kids I honestly don't think I would be this bad. My youngest kids are only 13 and 10, they need me.
I really am sorry that you find it insulting to yourself and other sufferers and I understand why you do. And you're right, keeping talking about it isn't helping me at all but reassurance seeking is one of the main parts of HA.
---------- Post added at 14:34 ---------- Previous post was at 14:28 ----------
You are certainly not a lost cause, rainbow. What about trying to flush away your bowel movements without inspecting them? It'll be very hard at first but not impossible. You'll be terrified that you've "missed" something and the anxiety will be high but you have to make a start on this otherwise you'll still be in this high anxiety state for the foreseeable future...and that's such a sad way to live your life when you have no actual cancer diagnosis.
I have tried to do that and you're right the anxiety is high and I do worry that I'm missing something. The compulsion to check is over powering and every now and again I will "see" something that makes the anxiety increase. I've been through exactly this almost 6 years ago and it lasted for around a year until it seemed to no longer be an issue. I'be now lost 3 stone in 6 months as I'm afraid to eat much in case it affects my stomach.
I am ashamed and embarrassed by my weakness.
---------- Post added at 14:41 ---------- Previous post was at 14:34 ----------
You are lost in your own subconscious fears. They are steering the ship.
The conscious "you" realises this, and this is what causes anxiety, because "you" are not in control.
We all have deep fears of illness. I do, and I am managing HA today.
But, I CHOOSE to move on and focus on different things. Work... cycling... relationships... LIFE.
Time to take charge of your life, and stop living on auto-pilot.
If you think you are a lost cause then you are.
If you don't want to be a lost cause then you don't have to be.
Simple as that. And if someone says, "its not as easy as that" I am leaving!!!
You make a lot of sense and I know you're right. Don't think that I'm not trying to overcome this, I am, but I feel like I go one step forward and three steps back sometimes. I have a lot of extra issues in my family life, my son who self harms and is addicted to prescription drugs which has been on going for the last 16 years. My relationship is pretty much finished after 15 years as my partner can be extremely nasty, so I think it's harder to get myself out of this rut that I'm in as there is rarely a day passes without some incident that really tests my sanity.
Please don't think I'm making excuses, just that it makes everything seems much more insurmountable.
You do have to start at some point though. I appreciate your difficulties, but there is a better way of thinking, and a way to beat anxiety.
The solution is always the same regardless of your situation.
Start taking control over your thoughts, and life. Become self-aware and start to make small changes each day.
How to live with the fear of cancer?
Many here are familiar with my story and what I'm dealing with concerning my wife. You want a fear? How about knowing that there are NMDA antibodies in her blood and she could relapse at any time? That's real life reality.
I have heart disease and am a Stage IV cancer survivor. Both of which could put me six feet under at any time. That's real life reality.
Over the last 4 years, I've taken one step forward and three back more times than I can count BUT... I always get up and take another step forward.... always!
Real life reality: What choice do you have? Deal or don't. Live or choose not to. Despite the challenges... I choose to deal and live life to the best of my ability. What will you choose?
Positive thoughts
You do have to start at some point though. I appreciate your difficulties, but there is a better way of thinking, and a way to beat anxiety.
The solution is always the same regardless of your situation.
Start taking control over your thoughts, and life. Become self-aware and start to make small changes each day.
I am trying to change my thought pattern, I listen to music and affirmations for health anxiety before I go to sleep. I have fun with my kids and do my best but I still struggle.
---------- Post added at 16:29 ---------- Previous post was at 16:11 ----------
How to live with the fear of cancer?
Many here are familiar with my story and what I'm dealing with concerning my wife. You want a fear? How about knowing that there are NMDA antibodies in her blood and she could relapse at any time? That's real life reality.
I have heart disease and am a Stage IV cancer survivor. Both of which could put me six feet under at any time. That's real life reality.
Over the last 4 years, I've taken one step forward and three back more times than I can count BUT... I always get up and take another step forward.... always!
Real life reality: What choice do you have? Deal or don't. Live or choose not to. Despite the challenges... I choose to deal and live life to the best of my ability. What will you choose?
Positive thoughts
I really do get what you're saying and I think you have an amazing outlook given what you've faced. My dad was very like you and never let his illness bring him down even when he ended up in a wheelchair. If I could find a tiny bit of his strength I would be able to overcome this.
I have been faced with many hurdles in my life and I've always come through them. My parents split up when I was 9, 3 miscarriages, losing my mum when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter while my dad had just had a heart attack at the same time, marriage breakdown, my son's self harm and suicide attempts, having to help my daughter cope with her ex partner raping and trying to kill her (he's serving 10 years in prison for this) caring for my father especially when his mind started to fail, then watching him die, an abusive relationship and helping my other daughter who has ocd and anxiety.
I'm not saying this for sympathy but to show that I have managed to stay strong through some very challenging times. I sometimes think all my strength has been used up.
You never run out of strength if you want to get better.
You've dealt with a lot of difficult and painful issues, rainbow, so challenging your HA would be just another one of those hurdles you could overcome. I appreciate that you have a mental block about it and see yourself as a "hopeless case" but why not try to modify that mindset and think that you beat this once before and there's no reason why you can't do it again?
Unhappiness and despair can keep you feeling powerless but you don't need to be passively accepting your HA fate. Have confidence in yourself that you can actively get some control back in your life? What sort of quality of your life do you have worrying about your bowel movements? Why do you need to know about other people's symptoms? There is a life for you away from the FEAR of bowel cancer or any other cancer but you have to make the first move to stop fuelling your fear.
You never run out of strength if you want to get better.
Fantastic line! So true!
The challenges I've faced have only made me stronger and more resolved. I faced depression and "scanxiety". I sought help, took meds as needed and worked my ass off. I beat some pretty extreme physical issues and I'll be damned if I let a mental issue take me down! I also watched my daughter, who really suffered with depression and anxiety, kick it's a$$ and graduate college. She works her butt off to keep it under control but she's doing it.
Rainbow, if you've come through those challenges as you have, you should be able to kick anxiety's a$$! :yesyes:
Positive thoughts
You never run out of strength if you want to get better.
You've dealt with a lot of difficult and painful issues, rainbow, so challenging your HA would be just another one of those hurdles you could overcome. I appreciate that you have a mental block about it and see yourself as a "hopeless case" but why not try to modify that mindset and think that you beat this once before and there's no reason why you can't do it again?
Unhappiness and despair can keep you feeling powerless but you don't need to be passively accepting your HA fate. Have confidence in yourself that you can actively get some control back in your life? What sort of quality of your life do you have worrying about your bowel movements? Why do you need to know about other people's symptoms? There is a life for you away from the FEAR of bowel cancer or any other cancer but you have to make the first move to stop fuelling your fear.
I know every word you've written is right, I know how to fight this...but I seriously feel close to a breakdown. My quality of life is very poor atm, every day is a chore and filled with fear. I don't want this, I want to enjoy the little things again .
---------- Post added at 08:15 ---------- Previous post was at 08:10 ----------
Fantastic line! So true!
The challenges I've faced have only made me stronger and more resolved. I faced depression and "scanxiety". I sought help, took meds as needed and worked my ass off. I beat some pretty extreme physical issues and I'll be damned if I let a mental issue take me down! I also watched my daughter, who really suffered with depression and anxiety, kick it's a$$ and graduate college. She works her butt off to keep it under control but she's doing it.
Rainbow, if you've come through those challenges as you have, you should be able to kick anxiety's a$$! :yesyes:
Positive thoughts
You are to be commended for your strength and determination, your daughter obviously takes her courage from you, you must be very proud of her.
I don't know how I've coped with everything that's happened in my life but I suppose I just had to. All I can do is to keep pushing through. My mind is so strong and it won't give up, constantly bombarding me with unwanted thoughts and what ifs.
It's YOUR mind though so you have control over what thoughts you accept and what thoughts you put down to HA.
How do I control the thoughts? I do try to rationalise them but sometimes they are so distressing that they stop me in my tracks. It's a constant stream of intrusive thoughts that make me feel weak and scared.
---------- Post added at 14:31 ---------- Previous post was at 12:24 ----------
I'm considering doing cbt online but not sure if it would work without a therapist. Has anyone tried this?
I'm considering doing cbt online but not sure if it would work without a therapist. Has anyone tried this?
I did the CBT4PANIC that was offered here when I was in therapy for some depression after my cancer. My therapist was all for it. It was very useful and I still use some of the techniques to this day to help deal with life situations (work issues, my wife's illness). I found the worksheets very helpful (thought records, self talk worksheets etc.)
IT's HARD work and you have to be totally committed to it and making changes. Keep in mind, keeping a positive attitude is more than half the battle.
Positive thoughts
It's certainly possible to manage your HA successfully without a therapist. You do have to believe that you have HA though and once you are totally committed to this fact therapy will become more manageable.
I do have to say that continuing to post on here about symptoms etc will be detrimental to your progress. Everyone will support you to manage your HA though but symptom-talk is a definite no-no if you want to get better.
I did the CBT4PANIC that was offered here when I was in therapy for some depression after my cancer. My therapist was all for it. It was very useful and I still use some of the techniques to this day to help deal with life situations (work issues, my wife's illness). I found the worksheets very helpful (thought records, self talk worksheets etc.)
IT's HARD work and you have to be totally committed to it and making changes. Keep in mind, keeping a positive attitude is more than half the battle.
Positive thoughts
I will look into that, I have to get better. I have done cbt with a therapist twice in the past so I do know what it entails. I will try the positive approach even though I'm an eternal pessimist. Thanks so much for your input, it's much appreciated.
---------- Post added at 17:58 ---------- Previous post was at 17:54 ----------
It's certainly possible to manage your HA successfully without a therapist. You do have to believe that you have HA though and once you are totally committed to this fact therapy will become more manageable.
I do have to say that continuing to post on here about symptoms etc will be detrimental to your progress. Everyone will support you to manage your HA though but symptom-talk is a definite no-no if you want to get better.
I know I have HA anxiety, no doubting that.
I should probably stay away from here altogether as that is what I was advised to do in the past, although I did weaken at times. Hopefully I'll eventually be able to visit my gp and address the things that concern me about my health. Thank you for trying to help.
If you just take a look at all the dramatic and alarming thread titles on here it's enough to counteract all your hard work re coping with HA. I know it's comforting to know that there are like-minded people out there with similar fears but....if you really want to get better you need much more than the tea and sympathy approach which will just keep you where you are..struggling and talking to people who are also struggling..
I do hope you can have a look at the cbt online course as it will be a start and knowing that you are actively doing something could be so liberating for you? You very much deserve to be able to enjoy life with your children without these awful fears dominating everything.
I know I shouldn't be posting this but having a wobble. I had diaorreah last night and all the fears are intensifying, my mind I'd trying to tell me that it must be bad. It's the second time this week and it's scaring me. I've probably had about 6 episodes of diaorreah in the last 4 months. I do have ibs and this does happen maybe once a month or so usually but this is really getting to me now. Sorry just had to write this down.
Please read the post in this link. This is a young boy who for months and months was consumed by the fear that his mother was dying of lung cancer.
He argued with any evidence to the contrary and was totally consumed by his fear.
I came on line this morning to see this thread where he lists the things that have helped him.
If he can do it, so can all of you.
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=194946
Please read the post in this link. This is a young boy who for months and months was consumed by the fear that his mother was dying of lung cancer.
He argued with any evidence to the contrary and was totally consumed by his fear.
I came on line this morning to see this thread where he lists the things that have helped him.
If he can do it, so can all of you.
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=194946
Thanks for the link. Have read it and it's very inspiring. Really need that right now.
PASchoolSyndrome
18-02-17, 13:59
Sorry if this is an intrusive post, but here's how I live with it.
A good friend's mom just got diagnosed with lymphoma. She has lupus and gets regular check ups and blood work done, and she sat me down and asked why they were asking her some questions lately: does she have night sweats, is she fatigued, yada yada. She had some isolated lymphocytes in her blood. Now I'm a student so I sometimes feel uncomfortable answering questions.. what if I'm wrong and put someone in a fury of worry? I told her that because she's on a lifetime of lupus immunosuppresive drugs they're just making sure everything's okay and all symptoms she's having are related to lupus. When I got in the car I told my fiance that they're worried she has cancer. 3 months later, unfortunately, she was diagnosed.
Bad things happen. I'd like to say cancer was so rare and so uncommon (even though it relatively is), that it'll never happen to me or another loved one. I lost my grandmother and my father in less than a year to cancer, so I've been plagued with the big C for quite a while. There's not a day where I'm not concerned with my family history and think: when is it my turn? I'm 23 - but I've seen young people get diagnosed with "older people" cancer. I'm applying for a fellow ship at Dana-Farber, which is a huge cancer research hospital and care center here in the states. I'm turning my fear of this disease into passion against it - to help the fight in my own way.
And I remind myself that bad things happen. It's unfortunate. I tell myself that I need to stop looking for it (ie feeling my breasts every time I'm in the shower) and if it happens it happens. And if it does - I will beat it. Medicine is so amazing these days and it's only going to get better. In my head my friend's mom is already cured. She will unfortunately going to go through about 6 months of hell. But she is well loved and this time next year she will be thinking "Wow, that was shitty but I did it." and continue her life.
Sorry if this is an intrusive post, but here's how I live with it.
A good friend's mom just got diagnosed with lymphoma. She has lupus and gets regular check ups and blood work done, and she sat me down and asked why they were asking her some questions lately: does she have night sweats, is she fatigued, yada yada. She had some isolated lymphocytes in her blood. Now I'm a student so I sometimes feel uncomfortable answering questions.. what if I'm wrong and put someone in a fury of worry? I told her that because she's on a lifetime of lupus immunosuppresive drugs they're just making sure everything's okay and all symptoms she's having are related to lupus. When I got in the car I told my fiance that they're worried she has cancer. 3 months later, unfortunately, she was diagnosed.
Bad things happen. I'd like to say cancer was so rare and so uncommon (even though it relatively is), that it'll never happen to me or another loved one. I lost my grandmother and my father in less than a year to cancer, so I've been plagued with the big C for quite a while. There's not a day where I'm not concerned with my family history and think: when is it my turn? I'm 23 - but I've seen young people get diagnosed with "older people" cancer. I'm applying for a fellow ship at Dana-Farber, which is a huge cancer research hospital and care center here in the states. I'm turning my fear of this disease into passion against it - to help the fight in my own way.
And I remind myself that bad things happen. It's unfortunate. I tell myself that I need to stop looking for it (ie feeling my breasts every time I'm in the shower) and if it happens it happens. And if it does - I will beat it. Medicine is so amazing these days and it's only going to get better. In my head my friend's mom is already cured. She will unfortunately going to go through about 6 months of hell. But she is well loved and this time next year she will be thinking "Wow, that was shitty but I did it." and continue her life.
I love your post.I am going through massive fear of lung cancer at the moment but your post has actually made me think 'you right', 'if its your turn its your turn, stop chasing the disease I guess'
Thanks :)
I love your post.I am going through massive fear of lung cancer at the moment but your post has actually made me think 'you right', 'if its your turn its your turn, stop chasing the disease I guess'
Thanks :)
Exactly! In my signature, it talks about chasing the wind. You can do that for a lifetime and never catch it. One day it may catch you and say "tag, you it!" but you'll never be able to win playing tag with the wind.
Worrying about potential illnesses is exactly that. Just worry... And the wind is laughing. The only way to get back at the wind is to enjoy the things in life that are important, that bring you joy and be thankful for the blessings.
Positive thoughts.
Exactly! In my signature, it talks about chasing the wind. You can do that for a lifetime and never catch it. One day it may catch you and say "tag, you it!" but you'll never be able to win playing tag with the wind.
Worrying about potential illnesses is exactly that. Just worry... And the wind is laughing. The only way to get back at the wind is to enjoy the things in life that are important, that bring you joy and be thankful for the blessings.
Positive thoughts.
One life - enjoy it :)
MyNameIsTerry
18-02-17, 14:56
I love your post.I am going through massive fear of lung cancer at the moment but your post has actually made me think 'you right', 'if its your turn its your turn, stop chasing the disease I guess'
Thanks :)
My GF's mum was diagnosed with terminal LC despite never smoking or being around smokers. Sometimes it's just fate. She had bowel cancer decades before and successfully beat it but didn't live with the worry of a relapse or anything else.
But isn't it the same as never leaving the house in case some drunk mounts the pavement and runs you over or you get hit crossing the street? You can take practical steps to reduce risk but fate is still there.
The only difference is the anxiety. Change that and you will be scares of none of it.
---------- Post added at 14:56 ---------- Previous post was at 14:54 ----------
One life - enjoy it :)
Good. You sound more optimistic. I hope your anxiety is calming down allowing you to think more positive.
PASchoolSyndrome
18-02-17, 15:00
I love your post.I am going through massive fear of lung cancer at the moment but your post has actually made me think 'you right', 'if its your turn its your turn, stop chasing the disease I guess'
Thanks :)
Good, I'm glad it helped. You've got one life - enjoy it to the fullest!
My GF's mum was diagnosed with terminal LC despite never smoking or being around smokers. Sometimes it's just fate. She had bowel cancer decades before and successfully beat it but didn't live with the worry of a relapse or anything else.
But isn't it the same as never leaving the house in case some drunk mounts the pavement and runs you over or you get hit crossing the street? You can take practical steps to reduce risk but fate is still there.
The only difference is the anxiety. Change that and you will be scares of none of it.
---------- Post added at 14:56 ---------- Previous post was at 14:54 ----------
Good. You sound more optimistic. I hope your anxiety is calming down allowing you to think more positive.
The anxiety is still in full force but trying to forget about the backache now that is fulling my thoughts. Will try though
Sorry if this is an intrusive post, but here's how I live with it.
A good friend's mom just got diagnosed with lymphoma. She has lupus and gets regular check ups and blood work done, and she sat me down and asked why they were asking her some questions lately: does she have night sweats, is she fatigued, yada yada. She had some isolated lymphocytes in her blood. Now I'm a student so I sometimes feel uncomfortable answering questions.. what if I'm wrong and put someone in a fury of worry? I told her that because she's on a lifetime of lupus immunosuppresive drugs they're just making sure everything's okay and all symptoms she's having are related to lupus. When I got in the car I told my fiance that they're worried she has cancer. 3 months later, unfortunately, she was diagnosed.
Bad things happen. I'd like to say cancer was so rare and so uncommon (even though it relatively is), that it'll never happen to me or another loved one. I lost my grandmother and my father in less than a year to cancer, so I've been plagued with the big C for quite a while. There's not a day where I'm not concerned with my family history and think: when is it my turn? I'm 23 - but I've seen young people get diagnosed with "older people" cancer. I'm applying for a fellow ship at Dana-Farber, which is a huge cancer research hospital and care center here in the states. I'm turning my fear of this disease into passion against it - to help the fight in my own way.
And I remind myself that bad things happen. It's unfortunate. I tell myself that I need to stop looking for it (ie feeling my breasts every time I'm in the shower) and if it happens it happens. And if it does - I will beat it. Medicine is so amazing these days and it's only going to get better. In my head my friend's mom is already cured. She will unfortunately going to go through about 6 months of hell. But she is well loved and this time next year she will be thinking "Wow, that was shitty but I did it." and continue her life.
What a great post, helps to put things in perspective.
Thank you.
---------- Post added at 15:07 ---------- Previous post was at 15:06 ----------
I love your post.I am going through massive fear of lung cancer at the moment but your post has actually made me think 'you right', 'if its your turn its your turn, stop chasing the disease I guess'
Thanks :)
Hi,
It's good to see you're feeling more positive.
What a great post, helps to put things in perspective.
Thank you.
---------- Post added at 15:07 ---------- Previous post was at 15:06 ----------
Hi,
It's good to see you're feeling more positive.
Really got to try as nothing else is helping
Really got to try as nothing else is helping
I know how you feel, sometimes I get so angry with myself over this.
Rather than get angry could you pretend to get bored of it? Anger just fires up adrenaline whereas boredom/ inertia/ just letting it happen without overanalysing or reacting just dampens down everything.
Tbh I am bored with it but still the waves of anxiety wash over me continually. How do I deal with that? The anxiety has been so much worse this weekend because of having an upset stomach twice this week. The little voice of doom in my head is having a great time.
You have control over how you react to that little voice of doom in your head though. It's quite normal to have an upset stomach with anxiety.
You have control over how you react to that little voice of doom in your head though. It's quite normal to have an upset stomach with anxiety.
I really do try not to react to the voice in my head but it's so damn persistent, I end up having a full on arguments with myself. I know that I do get an upset stomach with anxiety and it's happened a lot over the years but I think the frequency has alarmed me, 3 times in 3 weeks, which of course sets me off worrying which then starts up a vicious cycle.
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