Obsession I have cancer taking over my life

[emsniall]

Hi all,

It's taken me a while to face up the issues I am having, but has all hit an all time low yesterday and today. I have been so see GP na the tears have finally flowed tonight.

Basically I have a huge fear that I have cancer. Everytime I get a pain or something new feeling to the body, I assume it is this. Many family members have passed away thanks to the big C so I am bound to have these hang ups??? I have been to the docs many times lately fearing that bleeding inbetween my coil is cancer, that piles were cancer, I suffer with sicaitica and sometimes I think that is really cancer.


The last week or so have been worse. I have been so tight chested and feeling like I cannot get enough air in. Feels like a huge weight on my chest. I convinced myself I have lung cancer and went to see GP yesterday, who seems convinced it is anxiety. I of course cannot absorb this and still believe there is something very very wrong with me. It is not affecting my daily life with all this worry and it is making me feel very low. I have cried this evening, after holding the tears in all day at work and dont want this to bethe start of utter misery. I am constantly thinking the worst for myself all the time.

Does anyone else on here feel this too??? That they are losing grip on their sanity and dont know what else to do?

[bottleblond]

Hi Ems

This is classic 'Health anxiety' I'm afraid. I used to suffer myself very badly in the past.

Over the years, I convinced myself I've had cancer (of the mouth, throat, lungs, brain and neck)...The least little ache or pain, I'd get myself in a such a state, it wouldn't matter who told me otherwise, the only person I would believe would be a GP. Even then, it would take several visits until I was fully convinced.

It's very easy to fixate on an illness especially if other family members have been effected by it.

To cut a VERY long story short. I developed Health anxiety in my early teens, I am now 45 and I have never had a seriously illness in my life. (touch wood)...I wasted all those years worrying that I had something sinister when I should have been out there living my life to the full. Get help and advice for it now because I'd hate to see someone else waste those years for the same reason.

Lisa
xx:flowers:

[emsniall]

Hi Lisa,

Thanks so much for your kind words. It is so helpful to talk to someone else who knows how I am feeling. Those who don't suffer with it justt have no idea and think its pathetic almost, but so not the case.

So you were diagnosed with Health Anxiety then too? What symptoms did you used to get? Did you get the shortness of breath etc like me?

It is great to have someone to talk to.

My GP has referred me to CBT, which I have said I am more than happy to do as I reallly can't keep on like this. She said she did not want to take me down road of tablets (yet anyway)

Ems

[bottleblond]

Hi Lisa,

Thanks so much for your kind words. It is so helpful to talk to someone else who knows how I am feeling. Those who don't suffer with it justt have no idea and think its pathetic almost, but so not the case.

So you were diagnosed with Health Anxiety then too? What symptoms did you used to get? Did you get the shortness of breath etc like me?

It is great to have someone to talk to.

My GP has referred me to CBT, which I have said I am more than happy to do as I reallly can't keep on like this. She said she did not want to take me down road of tablets (yet anyway)

Ems

I'm so glad your GP has referred you. If you catch these things early enough and get that proper help you need, the difference can be remarkable.

Seriously Ems, the symptoms I have had over the years 'thinking back' are utterly mind blowing. This is going to sound so bizzare but I was having symptoms before they even had a name. lol....Yeah shortness of breath (that's a common one), Chest tightness, palpitations, hyperventilating, shaky limbs, sweating, tight chest and so on.

No one should think you are pathetic. Has anyone said that or do you actually fear that is what people will think of you?. You would be so surprised just how many people do suffer with anxiety and anxiety related conditions.

Lisa
x

[emsniall]

Hi Lisa,

Yes I am thinking people think I am pathetic. Which ultimately is probably making things worse still.

I have the same symptoms as you, i feel like I cannot get enough breath in, not so much hyperventilating and hoping it doesnt reach that stage. My chest is very tight. I am also finding that walking up and down staurs and doing basic things is making me short of breath (hence the docs visit). SHe checked me over and doesnt think there is anything wrong. But me of course I am thinking otherwise. I have read that getting more breathless when walking about etc is the anxiety also.

I have to get out of my head that this is lung cancer. But as you can imagine the breathless feeling is only making me worry more. You cant win can you x

[bottleblond]

Hi Lisa,

Yes I am thinking people think I am pathetic. Which ultimately is probably making things worse still.

I have the same symptoms as you, i feel like I cannot get enough breath in, not so much hyperventilating and hoping it doesnt reach that stage. My chest is very tight. I am also finding that walking up and down staurs and doing basic things is making me short of breath (hence the docs visit). SHe checked me over and doesnt think there is anything wrong. But me of course I am thinking otherwise. I have read that getting more breathless when walking about etc is the anxiety also.

I have to get out of my head that this is lung cancer. But as you can imagine the breathless feeling is only making me worry more. You cant win can you x

Sorry for quoting you in my replies, It's so I don't miss anything out....

You can bet your bottom dollar, no one will think you are pathetic!. People I have spoken over the years (on this site) that suffer the same include, Nurses, Train drivers, A paramedic, school teachers, very successful business people, to name but a few. Anxiety is a more recognised condition in modern day society and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. :hugs:

The feeling of not being able to get enough air in is classic!. I bet you try very hard to take deep breaths?. That will make your chest feel tight because you are over using the chest muscles. It won't do you any harm at all but can sometimes make you feel breathless and light headed?.

CBT is definitely a good idea for you!. Just try to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Yes you feel like crap at times but it's more behavioural than medical is that makes sense.

xx

[emsniall]

Yes that is exactly it!!! I am thinking too hard about my breathing too. Like when I am in work I am getting up to walk to the loo and telling myself im probably going to be breathless by the time I get there!!!! How terrible is that. But then I must not feel terrible about it as it isnt anything to be ashamed of.

Do you ever get the feeling of weight across your back and chest? Thats another one I am getting lately.


Sorry to ask so many questions, it is jus good to talk to someone in the same shoes as myself

xx

[bottleblond]

Yes that is exactly it!!! I am thinking too hard about my breathing too. Like when I am in work I am getting up to walk to the loo and telling myself im probably going to be breathless by the time I get there!!!! How terrible is that. But then I must not feel terrible about it as it isnt anything to be ashamed of.

Do you ever get the feeling of weight across your back and chest? Thats another one I am getting lately.


Sorry to ask so many questions, it is jus good to talk to someone in the same shoes as myself

xx

Yes exactly!. So you get up to walk to the loo and tell yourself you will be breathless by the time you get there!..Well of course you will because you have already convinced yourself that this will happen and "bob's your uncle" it happens. It happens because you are focusing on your breathing and if you weren't, your breathing would be completely normal. Your back and chest weight is because you are over working your chest muscles by constantly focusing on how your breathing, How deep is your breathing, are you getting enough air etc etc. I honestly don't want to come across as a "know it all", I honestly don't but these symptoms are so so common, I wish you could kick their ass. You can't do that because you don't know how to yet.

It's a horrible thing but you really need to keep telling yourself that nothing bad is going to happen to you, It's anxiety!, it can't and won't harm me and I will kick it's ass when I have the tools to do that through CBT.

I'm going to head off for the night Ems but contact me any time. You can pm me here by clicking on my user name.

Please try not to worry and also try to get a good nights sleep knowing you're absolutely fine. :flowers:

Talk soon

Lisa
xx

[beatroon]

Wanting to second what you've been saying about the tight-chestedness. I convinced myself I had asthma/lung cancer for about three years because of my panicky breathing - and all the time it was just that, panic. I cannot stress enough how much of a thief of time health anxiety is, and how useless it makes you feel, but it really is just anxiety. The irony is that were you to find you had a serious condition you would probably cope brilliantly.

One thing that really helped my breathing was the 4-4-7 technique - in for 4 through the nose, hold for 4 and out for 7 through pursed lips. If you are feeling tight chested it may be because you are actually hyperventilating slightly through anxiety, always trying to get a big breath in but never being quite able to fill your lungs? Classic panic behaviour. You need to slow it down. It will feel uncomfortable at first but then you'll feel better. Yoga breathing is also very good for this.

I wish you all the best with the HA. I found tablets to be helpful and CBT also, and another thing is that I found my health obsessions faded with age - I'm in my thirties now and in some ways I just got past them. And on to other obsessions - but that's another story! :) But without being flippant, what I wanted to say really is that I think there *is* a phase in one's late twenties where suddenly you realise you're not immortal, and perhaps family members are getting ill, and that can set it all off.