HIV OCD and anxiety is back again

[twtm2002]

I suffer from acute OCD around contracting HIV. I have been working hard at it with a therapist but every few months it is triggered usually by some event or moment which puts my brain into a spin. It often also coincides with periods of stress, tiredness or being run down. Last tuesday I went for a massage - massage is sadly a double edged sword for me. I love it for relaxation and calm but sometimes it triggers my fears around contamination. The masseuse was professional, clothed and covered my body with a towel. However, as she working on my thighs and inner thighs I felt for a second that she may inadvertently have grazed my penis with her nails (which were long as she is a beautician). It was a momentary sensation and to be honest it could easily have been the towel rubbing my penis but suffice to say I felt something. I checked my penis after and of course, there was no scratch I could see i.e. no skin broken or any blood or graze. I tried to put my irrational fears behind me but within days I got a winter cold and of course thought...oh my god...it's HIV. Even I am struggling to see how I could get HIV here (even google is saying it's a NO) but want some reassurance.... 1. That kind of scratch or momentary touching - no risk for hiv? 2. even IF she had grazed the skin - no risk for hiv? 3. even if her hands were dirty/had blood - no risk for hiv? 4. getting a cold with snot is not a sign of ARS - i have not had a fever or swollen glands etc bottom line is i want to beat this fear without testing which would be a waste of time and money.

[Kuatir]

No risk. You're OK.

[twtm2002]

thanks for that reassurance - I think I understand the science of why you say this !

I also wondered if other people get enormous tiredness/lethargy during these OCD periods. I often find it coincides with a cold/flu which triggers OCD which then causes fatigue/lethargy.

[PASchoolSyndrome]

Yes please rest assured that was a 0% risk.

Also - yes. I think it's your mind and body being so worked up with anxiety that it just tires itself out as well.

[MyNameIsTerry]

thanks for that reassurance - I think I understand the science of why you say this !

I also wondered if other people get enormous tiredness/lethargy during these OCD periods. I often find it coincides with a cold/flu which triggers OCD which then causes fatigue/lethargy.

Fatigue is just a response to the overworking you are doing from being so anxious. Think how non manual work can tire you out due to the stress. Anxiety is full throttle stuff compared to mere stress in my opinion, and I used to live off stress in my twenties.

[D Ray Morton]

Hey,

I used to be a bit like this when I was younger myself so I know the fears are horrible. But it usually came after sexual contact not day to day contact.

The best thing to do is look at %'s and odds. You are 0% risk at all for the contact made in this instance so hopefully that should reassure you. Not only that but the chances of the massage having it is tiny also but passing it on is 0%. Ive read in past even if someone who has the virus sleeps with a partner over and over that doesnt even mean they will contact it, or they could 1st time depends on many factors. So in a lot of ways its really not easy to catch, so try not to worry if you can.

[twtm2002]

I want to thank you all. I am overcoming this OCD brute! I know that this was a no risk scenario - EVEN if she did scratch me; even if there was blood; even if she had HIV...I know it is no risk. I didn't bleed; I didn't have an open wound and I am sure she didnt have anything on her nails to transmit to me...SO...I need to chill...

what however is scary is how much I feel run down; exhausted; achey; slightly woozy; have a painful neck/scalp etc...I assume all classic anxiety symptoms? No fever but definitely a sense of achey neck/shoulders...glands don't feel up but more achey!

[Miznuvem0412]

I have OCD ( hiv ) mine was bad a couple of years and it got worst when I was pregnant. I think what sent mine over the roof was working with someone who actually had hiv . I wasn't on Paxil anymore when I was pregnant so my anxiety/OCD went out of control .

I never caught anything from him and he would cough & sneeze left and right . Man, all the what ifs . There's no way you can catch that through a massage and I know how much OCD /anxiety can make u believe crap.


I got too the point that I couldn't even touch doorknobs due to the fear at work .

Nothing but irrational fears especially when I'm well educate it on how you do/don't contract hiv .

Rest easy you didn't catch anything that's just anxiety making you believe nonsense.

I don't fear hiv like I use tooo

[PASchoolSyndrome]

I have OCD ( hiv ) mine was bad a couple of years and it got worst when I was pregnant. I think what sent mine over the roof was working with someone who actually had hiv . I wasn't on Paxil anymore when I was pregnant so my anxiety/OCD went out of control .

I never caught anything from him and he would cough & sneeze left and right . Man, all the what ifs . There's no way you can catch that through a massage and I know how much OCD /anxiety can make u believe crap.


I got too the point that I couldn't even touch doorknobs due to the fear at work .

Nothing but irrational fears especially when I'm well educate it on how you do/don't contract hiv .

Rest easy you didn't catch anything that's just anxiety making you believe nonsense.

I don't fear hiv like I use tooo

I'm glad you don't fear HIV anymore - because worrying about contracting it by simply working with an HIV patient is a negative stigma that needs to be squashed.

[Purple_1985]

You are fine. This risk of anything like that happening is literally 0%. Even if she did scratch you you won't get HIV from that. You need to be I contact of body fluids. If your having unprotected sex then of course there is a risk.

I worked at a HIV clinic for a few years and I took blood from HIV patients, as I'm a train phlebotomist. Yes there was a high risk for me too get a needle stick injury, but it never happened. Also I've seen couples in relationship knowing there is HIV involved and I can tell you now that not everyone can get it, some very lucky people have some sort of suppressant in there immune system that prevents them from catching it. I've see a husband and wife who have sex and the husband is HIV positive and he's wife has never got it regardless of the fact they gave unprotected sex!

So your risk of getting anything like that is almost non existent. Try not too worry you be fine.