I'm worried - please reply :)x

[Ljthompson10]

Hi again :)

I haven't been on here for about a month and am very proud of myself.
I have had a horrendous time with intrusive thoughts and frustrating repetitive thoughts (some which don't even mean anything, they may even be repetitive mental pictures/colours etc).

I have had HOCD, POCD, Suicide OCD, a fear of forgetting things (which was horrible), and MANY, MANY more. I have had a horrific time. I also have minor compulsions but not loads. So whether this is true OCD I'm not 100% sure.

Anyway, I have made great improvements in the last month, to the point where I had a very good 2 straight weeks with less thoughts than I have ever had. However, in the last week ALL the thoughts have come back. And I feel trapped, crazy and frustrated.

I have got a fantastic life and have got loads of things to look forward too. And I want to stop these intrusive thoughts (maybe "OCD").

So, I am considering seeing a GP about it next week as I am SO SO motivated to get rid of it. And that motivation is something I have never lacked. I'm motivated in everything I do.

However I'm worrying that I will never get rid of it. I have heard the success rate of CBT is just 80%. What if I'm in that 20%, even if I try my best at it (which I know I deffo will!), I'm terrified I will live with this forever and I know how much living I have to do and how much opportunities i have to succeed in life. I love life deep down!!

Anyway. Has anyone got any tips on HOW TO BEAT INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS!!!!!?????

And can you give your opinion on what I'm worrying about, I just don't want to be in that 20% (that is if I have OCD)

I'm so determined to beat this!!!!!

Thankyou - there are some very helpful people on here and I have decided to use private messaging now that I'm not as reliant on reasurrance seeking!!:yesyes::winks:

[viking111]

I am pretty sure that you will get through this. I got through it myself with only the help of mynameisterry and this forum, so I am really positive that with therapy you will too.

[Ljthompson10]

But I'm terrified that I will not. I just want to know that I can if I put my mind to it :(

[Kuatir]

You've had two great weeks, remember that. You already know you can feel better. Getting help should improve things even more. These things take time and you will definitely have ups and downs as you find out the best way to manage your issues.

[Ljthompson10]

Thanks for the reply.

I have always been such as happy boy who loves life. And the fact I have certain 'issues' makes me so sad. I know if I can get through this I will, but I am so so scared I will have this forever and I can't live like that. I'm a happy boy

---------- Post added at 15:27 ---------- Previous post was at 14:41 ----------

I just want to know I will be helped if I put my 100% all into this.

I have an incredible year coming up!!

I want to enjoy it to the max :D:weep:

[Ljthompson10]

Anyone?? :(

I am so determined to beat this - but want to know that I can!????

[Catherine S]

Yes you can. You're a happy boy after all.

ISB

[Ljthompson10]

Thankyou!!

I'm a very happy boy but these intrusive thoughts and feeling like I may not ever beat them really gets me down.

I couldn't think of anything worse. You know:(??

[Catherine S]

Happy boys should only think happy thoughts, and as in the song from the Disney movie Frozen, you owe it to yourself to...let it go.

ISB

[Ljthompson10]

Ahhaha thankyou. I love Disney!!!!

And it's hard you know! (I'm sure you do ahah)

But I have read not everyone gets cured but surely I will if I try??????:(

I'm fine a lot of the time when I'm distracted anyway:)

[Catherine S]

Sometimes being part of an anxiety forum, while has its obvious pluses if you are a sufferer, it can sometimes lead you into a state of mind where you get stuck, because you're surrounded by negativity from the start if you think about it, albeit from people trying to recover, but it has to be said that sometimes this can slow the recovery process down. You have to decide what works for you and what doesn't.

ISB

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's a false, and negative, target to set to stop your intrusive thoughts. You can't, they are experienced by anyone as they are just part of how the human mind works. It's just like someone saying they won't to stop all future anxiety.

It's a false target that sets you up for failure. It adds pressure and falls right into another trap in OCD - perfectionism.

The goal is to change how you react to them. Then the subconscious follows this through observation and changes those neural pathways. It takes time but it's just how the mind works. You've learnt to be like this, now you've got to learn to be a different way.

As far a OCD goes, it can be mostly Obsessions, mostly Compulsions or Mixed. That's how WHO classify it.

In reality, those who suffer the Obsessions more (often known non medically as "Pure O", a false name really) often do have compulsions but they are covert or mental as they are called. It takes understanding to spot what you are doing as people tend to think Compulsions must be physical in nature. They can be either.

OCD is diagnosed not only on having the criteria but also that it is impacting on your life. The reason for this is that traits in OCD can be seen in probably everyone to some extent but they don't bother them.

The worry over that 20% is one we would all share at some point. It's a vague figure in something totally bespoke. Given the quality of therapy greatly differs, as do the qualifications involved, it's perhaps not a great statistic anyway?

CBT places a lot on you doing the work. The best therapist in history couldn't get you into that 80% if you aren't doing the work. So, go into it with that mindset if you can.

Anxiety differs by person and there are severity levels. Some suffer terribly everyday, some have flare ups. See the fact you have good periods as a positive thing because it's better than feeling that bad all the time.

You have to set reasonable goals. Expecting it to just go and you not suffer blips or recycling issues is unreasonable. It's natural to think that way but the more you learn to accept it as just part of the stage you are at now, the less it will upset you.

---------- Post added at 05:34 ---------- Previous post was at 05:31 ----------


I am pretty sure that you will get through this. I got through it myself with only the help of mynameisterry and this forum, so I am really positive that with therapy you will too.

I just answered some questions here & there, Viking, you did all the real work!

You came here after doing your own research and your understanding showed. I wasn't the only one who was surprised at how enlightened you were for such a young guy and also wasn't alone in regarding you as an inspiration to others for your open & positive mindset.

[Ljthompson10]

Ok thankyou guys!!
I really appreciate the replies from you both!!

I just want to know that I can beat these thoughts and stop them bothering me as even when I'm not thinking of them it feels like they are hovering over my head waiting for me to think of them and there is a sense of confusion all the time.

I need to clear my head.
I had a decent day yesterday. (Better, anyway)

But I just want to know that I CAN because I saw some poor people posting online saying they haven't gotten rid of these thoughts in YEARS AND YEARS and I tell myself I won't let that happen.

It just scares me you know???

[Bigboyuk]

Ok thankyou guys!!
I really appreciate the replies from you both!!

I just want to know that I can beat these thoughts and stop them bothering me as even when I'm not thinking of them it feels like they are hovering over my head waiting for me to think of them and there is a sense of confusion all the time.

I need to clear my head.
I had a decent day yesterday. (Better, anyway)

But I just want to know that I CAN because I saw some poor people posting online saying they haven't gotten rid of these thoughts in YEARS AND YEARS and I tell myself I won't let that happen.

It just scares me you know??? Lj I will leave you with this prayer (quote) from my Changes meetings and other 12 steps programmes I have successfully attended and improved my life. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cant change, courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference :) if and when you do struggle again remember that quote! Good luck :) Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

What is the meaning behind the quote ?

---------- Post added at 16:22 ---------- Previous post was at 16:22 ----------

I just want to know that I can beat these thoughts and stop them bothering me as even when I'm not thinking of them it feels like they are hovering over my head waiting for me to think of them and there is a sense of confusion all the time.

I need to clear my head.
I had a decent day yesterday. (Better, anyway)

But I just want to know that I CAN because I saw some poor people posting online saying they haven't gotten rid of these thoughts in YEARS AND YEARS and I tell myself I won't let that happen.

It just scares me you know???L

[Fishmanpa]

I just want to know that I can beat these thoughts and stop them bothering me

There's only one way to find out right? Therapy and meds if needed. When do you start?

Positive thoughts

[Bigboyuk]

What is the meaning behind the quote ?

---------- Post added at 16:22 ---------- Previous post was at 16:22 ----------

I just want to know that I can beat these thoughts and stop them bothering me as even when I'm not thinking of them it feels like they are hovering over my head waiting for me to think of them and there is a sense of confusion all the time.

I need to clear my head.
I had a decent day yesterday. (Better, anyway)

But I just want to know that I CAN because I saw some poor people posting online saying they haven't gotten rid of these thoughts in YEARS AND YEARS and I tell myself I won't let that happen.

It just scares me you know???L Basicaly it saying some things you will be able to change so you use your courage to make those changes and there will be some things that you cant change, and have the wisdom to know the difference between the two :) HTH :) Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Oh my...

I think I'd rather kill myslef than not be able to calm the thoughts.

Surely I can. :unsure::scared15::unsure::lac::weep::mad:

[Lucinda07]

It is possible to "dampen" the thoughts so they don't have such an impact. With strategies & practice, its possible to regard them as nonsense. Eventually they will fade away.

[Ljthompson10]

Thankyou Lucinda!!

Is that 100% possible with the strategies?

That's what motivates me.

[Bigboyuk]

Oh my...

I think I'd rather kill myslef than not be able to calm the thoughts.

Surely I can. :unsure::scared15::unsure::lac::weep::mad:As the next poster says
is possible it's like with me I suffer from Depression to name a few conditions it will never go away completely but I can now get to the point where it's doesn't affect me but I will never be completely cured just like my gambling addiction I have it under control through a 12 step programme so it's manageable I always say just for today I wont gamble cant say I wont tomorrow or next week/year so you get me?! Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Ok that's makes sense.

Fortunnately my thoughts arnt as debilitating for me as it sounds like it is for some people!!

I'm not even sure if I actually have OCD

But I just need to know I will calm them if I make the right techniques.

You know?!?!

And well done in calming your struggles !! :yesyes:

[Bigboyuk]

Ok that's makes sense.

Fortunnately my thoughts arnt as debilitating for me as it sounds like it is for some people!!

I'm not even sure if I actually have OCD

But I just need to know I will calm them if I make the right techniques.

You know?!?!

And well done in calming your struggles !! :yesyes: No even so you want to be able to manage them right?! Have you been seen by any specialists to give you a firm diagnosis? if you haven't then do so and get a plan of action ( Meds/Therapy Ect) in place And yes you can calm them down with the right tools in place :yesyes: Thank you that means a lot to me:winks: Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Haha thankyou. But what about the people who never beat them :(

And I hate the thought of meds.

It's a short term relief and 'fake happiness'

[viking111]

It is a common fear to be afraid of never coming back. I have it too to some degree since I had a really great and awesome summer and after that I got stuck in DPDR due to weed. And I am sure you will get better with therapy. Even I have come out of scary corner of feeling real bad to a place where I feel kinda comfortable.

[Bigboyuk]

Haha thankyou. But what about the people who never beat them :(

And I hate the thought of meds.

It's a short term relief and 'fake happiness' It's cool :) Firstly you need to stop thinking negativity feeling oh I wont get better I used to think like that daily but I have took proactive steps to start to change that and I feel miles better. The motto is never give up I suggest you take that on board :)

[Ljthompson10]

Yeah but you see I can't live the rest of my life like this.

I had a fantastic day at college today where the thoughtS 'hardly' bothered me!!

---------- Post added at 19:31 ---------- Previous post was at 19:30 ----------

I just need to get back to my 100% self

---------- Post added at 19:36 ---------- Previous post was at 19:31 ----------

Even when the thoughts aren't even there. when I'm bored or not talking to anyone there is a feeling of negativity and confusion over my head like there are loads of negative thoughts and feelings just waiting!

I guess this shall pass though because I don't get it as much sometimes. (When really distracted

[Bigboyuk]

Yeah but you see I can't live the rest of my life like this.

I had a fantastic day at college today where the thoughtS 'hardly' bothered me!!

---------- Post added at 19:31 ---------- Previous post was at 19:30 ----------

I just need to get back to my 100% self

---------- Post added at 19:36 ---------- Previous post was at 19:31 ----------

Even when the thoughts aren't even there. when I'm bored or not talking to anyone there is a feeling of negativity and confusion over my head like there are loads of negative thoughts and feelings just waiting!

I guess this shall pass though because I don't get it as much sometimes. (When really distracted
Well there you go you already have a positive tool in place and this is college :)
you need more tools now :) Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Hi everyone.

I feel good sometimes and really bad at others like the negative feelings and thoughts are just hovering over me and I get constant reminders of them.

What can I do to minimise these and deal with them

Is there anything I can tell myself??

[Bigboyuk]

Ok Here are the 12 steps recovery programme:1. Admit you have a problem.2. Take Action.3.Trust and Cooperate.4.Get The Power.5.Use and Develop Wellness Tools.6.Begin Personal Evaluation.7. Cultivate Healthy Thinking.8.Cultivate Healthy Behaviour.9.Realise that feelings aren't always facts!.10. Get on With your Life!.11.Give it Time.12 Pass It On. The other thing to note is these 12 steps will work with any condition too :) Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Is there anything I can say to myslef when I feel the thoughts of feelings coming?? :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

LJ

When you are saying you want someone to tell you that treatment will work for you because you dread not getting better, this is reassurance seeking. Be mindful of that. Also it's multiple elements of Cognitive Distortions being employed, which we all have at some point.

The bottom line is - no doctor on the planet can give you this assurance because there is no treatment that works 100%. They all fail many people but you have to also remember that this is a very complex issue to treat that involves the patient doing a lot of work. Treating a broken leg is easy, as long as you don't purposely hit your leg everyday with a cricket bat it will simply repair itself inside that cast and by you following advice about not using it much. Rewriting neural pathways is much more complex because there is a lot of mental cricket bat battering going on too.

Never judge it based on the failure of therapy stories. Aside from the above there are so many factors from crap therapists to patient resistance. People may not truly understand why things aren't working, I've seen this on here where therapy isn't even conforming to what it should be in some way.

[Bigboyuk]

Yes realise that those feelings aren't always Facts :) And replace them with Healthy thinking Don't dwell on Negative feelings! As said before I have done 2 12 step programmes for my other 2 addictions, so know the 12 steps do work when applied.Meditation and Reike could help too only you can do this with the help and advice given to you. Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

So I may never get better great!

I was having a OK day aswell today

[Bigboyuk]

So I may never get better great!

I was having a OK day aswell today You can greatly improve to the point where the intrusive thoughts 'actually' mean nothing. Just like I have with my conditions about 6 weeks ago I was in right state, not now I am not Iam quite happy for a change :) remember the serenity quote you have the courage to change the things you can sometimes everything cant be changed and you must have the wisdom to know the difference. So you can continue to have a OK day today one day at time ok! Cheers

[Catherine S]

Why are you making people here feel so responsible for your feelings? which appear to change every 5 minutes. People continue to advise you but you seem to like to make them feel guilty for making you feel worse instead of better....."I was feeling really happy until you said that" is wearing thin now don't you think? Play nice Jamie, and give people a break, they deserve better.

ISB

[Bigboyuk]

Why are you making people here feel so responsible for your feelings? which appear to change every 5 minutes. People continue to advise you but you seem to like to make them feel guilty for making you feel worse instead of better....."I was feeling really happy until you said that" is wearing thin now don't you think? Play nice Jamie, and give people a break, they deserve better.

ISB Actually your signature says it all :) I rest my case thanks Cheers

[MyNameIsTerry]

So I may never get better great!

I was having a OK day aswell today

It's a possibility you may not, it's a possibility you may. If you want "you definitely will" then it would be irresponsible in my opinion. I sometimes say to people "keep going and you'll get there" because I can see their progress and feel it's supportive.

In your case, I view the question as part of anxiety in that you feel the need to be told. Giving you false hope is not helpful, it will tick the reassurance seeking box too and I think that is wrong because with this issue you need to learn to be ok with things not being black & white. It will continue to trap you.

If you read about things like Cognitive Distortions you would see your question as including several of them. That negative thinking is worth pointing out because it's something you can work on to improve how you view your situation.

I learnt mine. I changed how I view certain things and have greatly reduced my low moods that it brought on. Or I could have stayed with my thinking around life being shit and looking at others and getting upset that I was going through this when they wandered around laughing without a care when I was falling apart inside.

[Ljthompson10]

The thoughts haven't bothered me as much today.

I think I'm frustrated as they can be persistent and I don't want to be labelled as mentally ill

[MyNameIsTerry]

Mentally ill can mean different things to people. Some include anxiety disorders in that, so they don't see it as a negative term. Some view it more for the more complex issues like bipolar, schizophrenia, dementia, etc.

So, someone may say it without meaning to relate to the more complex psychiatric disorders.

Anxiety disorders are common. One in four will have them in their lifetime.

These are only disorders though, they can be altered to become normal levels of anxiety therefore no longer a disorder. Otherwise the anxiety disorder sufferers who have fully recovered can't exist but they do.

Many say the same about depression. It's incurable, so will come back. Tell my dad that! He had two years of it to the point of being bed bound at one point, dug his way out and has never relapsed in over 40 years! There was no help back then, not even Claire Weekes and the meds were the nastier older variety I would imagine. Talk to him about mental health and he says what the like of Weekes, CBT founders, etc all say about positive thinking, changing your thoughts and being more stoic (CBT has roots in ancient stoicism).

There is stigma around our disorders. There probably still will be when I'm old & grey. But ignorance is changing due to education and it's new generations that always move on from ignorance in the long term.

The fact you have your better periods shows there is less to address which means your chances of success will be greater than for someone like me who's had 10 years of it in lots of forms as I have much more ingrained thinking to deal with. Also my anxiety has always been a daily thing and at the worst strayed into severe. I had over a year without a day I could call great, I'd struggle picking one I would say was good.

That's not to say I'm worse off "boo hoo" (which i wouldn't think about others anyway) my part, it's to give you a positive in that your anxiety hasn't gone that far and dealing with it now is easier than later. I wish I had, I had no therapy until half way in after a relapse and I was much worse then with OCD I never had before on top of my primary GAD disorder. I was pretty bad the first time around when I had my initial breakdown but I know looking back that help then would have given me a much better chance.

We all get frustrated, we wouldn't be human if we didn't given what we are dealing with. It's better you are honest about that, you will more likely to confront it in your recovery so keep it up.

[Ljthompson10]

Thankyou!!

I have so much fun when distracted and even though I have had thoughts trying to get in All day !! I have let the mind do what it wants and not gotten frustrated and I'm proud for that!!

You know??

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, it's half the battle. For over a year since the relapse I just couldn't get that distraction. Even now it's hard on worse days. Distraction certainly helps and I find my mind more resistant to sliding back into the anxiety of an hour before. Enjoy that and keep enjoyment in your life.

The next bit too learn is when you are alone with your thoughts or triggered but you are working on that. Give it time and it will pay off.

[Ljthompson10]

Thankyou!!

Today I have been on my own a lot and have just said to my self when thought come into my head

I'll let my mind do what it wants because I can't control it

---------- Post added at 16:46 ---------- Previous post was at 16:03 ----------

You know?

[Bigboyuk]

Good work Jamie Yes something to be proud of :) its gives a nice feeling of success! Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

Who is Jamie g

[Bigboyuk]

Who is Jamie g I only going by ISB's mention of it! on the previous page Cheers

[Ljthompson10]

IBS?

[Catherine S]

IBS? Yeah that's me, a pain in the stomach. Sorry I thought your name was jamie

ISB

[Ljthompson10]

Ahhaha no problem. It's lewis

[Catherine S]

Well that takes care of the L in Lj I guess.

ISB

[Ljthompson10]

I have done well today