Do I have separation anxiety??

[anxietyyqueen]

So about 3 weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend who I'd known/been with for about 3/4 months. In that time, everything was just so intense and I just formed this really strong unhealthy emotional attachment to him and I would just have constant break downs at the idea of him leaving me or not wanting what I wanted (A relationship). I kept trying again and again but it was just the same dynamic and it eventually got to a point where he couldn't handle it anymore and he broke up with me (He'd done it before but this time it was a kinda "I don't wanna see you till I'm over it" way). I tried so hard to convince him to stay or still at least be friends with me but it didn't work and I came off as quite desperate and pathetic actually.

Anyway in correlation to this, in the past few weeks I've been feeling REALLY anxious about really small day to day things. People and situations make me anxious so easily and I get very jumpy very easily. Sometimes I don't want to leave my house because I'm too afraid of the outside world and I feel too sad/unmotivated to do so. I'm constantly in my head with these thoughts that make me feel everyone is against me and that everyone is going to leave me. I hadn't really connected this recent extreme anxiety with the break up until my friend made the link yesterday.

I had a lot of anxiety during the relationship as well in fear of him leaving me, and I just never remember being this anxious prior to the relationship. I suffered with depression before this for a while so I kinda thought maybe the anxiety was replacing that.

I also have very low self esteem and a limited amount of people that I feel comfortable reaching out too which fuels the anxiety even further. I'm trying to take on everything on my own and trying to be independent but it just shows that I'm not coping when I can't even leave my house.

I can get myself worked up so easily with just thoughts and I don't know what has caused this. I just don't understand how I can get separation anxiety if it IS that from someone I simply knew for 3 months???

[Fear-Not]

Hey anxiety queen - 3 months is a long time actually so I think what you feel is perfectly normal! In any case, we can get extremely attached to people very quickly and still feel enormous loss even if they have not been around for long. Sometimes its grief about losing the 'what might have been' as well as the time you have actually been together. Don't give yourself a hard time and remember that when you get together with someone its because they want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. When you suffer from low self esteem, it can be hard seeing yourself as an equal person in a relationship - but you are so try and remember that even though its not easy! xx

[Abbic]

Hi Anxiety Queen, I was diagnosed with ASAD yesterday, which I have had almost all of the adult life but only just come to terms with it - I'll try and explain my feelings for you - When I am in a relationship, if my partner decided they wanted to do something with their friends and a date was set - the dread would set in as soon as I knew about it - and it wouldn't go away until the event was over - I would feel really anxious about it - playing stupid things over in my head, what if they find someone else, what if they have a accident while away from me, the feeling inside is indescribable and really really horrible. I would be asking constant questions about the event, like who is going to be there and when would they be home, and making their life quite difficult about it, and usually end up going to the event myself (even though I didn't want to go) just so that I didn't have to suffer the feeling of being without them. If my partner goes to clean the car, if they are slightly longer than expected - the anxiety starts again, me thinking they have had an accident or even that they are off with someone else for a secret meeting, I know all this is totally outrageous BUT its so so hard to think straight when your in that anxious state of mind. I find myself checking facebook constantly and also whatsapp to see when they were last on line! Its very unhealthy and I am not really hoping that CBT therapy will help my thoughts because I really don't want to loose my partner or feel like this for the rest of my life.

I hope that gives you an insight to me Adult Separation Anxiety .

Abbi x