Example of how HA can mess with your head!

[Rhiannon.]

So today I went for a hike with my boyfriend, our two dogs and two friends. Was a fairly miserable day today, but thankfully not cold, just wet!

It was a two and a half hour walk through woodland in the middle of nowhere. My anxiety started to pick up around 1 hour because of my heart worries and the fact there was literally only woodland and fields around us on all sides. It was beautiful, quiet, and we only saw two other pairs of hikers on our whole walk. I'd never done the walk before though and started to be a bit panicky. I almost went back, but managed to press on.

When we reached our destination, a woodland theatre, I felt a little better. The place is frequently used by the local pagan's and is full of beautiful wooden carvings and a wooden stage. It is quite a sight since it is so remote.

Knowing that the theatre is only about 45 minutes from the town where we live I perked up and felt better... until that is we had to cross a field.

What's wrong with that? I hear you ask. Well, nothing. Apart from the field contained cows and they were ALL on the footpath. Instantly I remember a time I was hiking a mountain by the house I grew up in and ended up hopelessly lost when my usual trail was blocked by cows and a heavy fog left me unable to deviate from the path.

But here is the interesting part. I didn't fear getting trampled to death, I fearing catching something from the cows! Now I am home, dry and safe I know how stupid that is, but at the time I was really freaked out. What if these cows were quarantined? What if we crossed the path and found a sign warning people to stay away? What if what if?

If my anxiety had any sense it would have caused me to fear the cows physically. They are big animals and we had two dogs with us, one of whom the cows were very interested in (my partner ended up carrying the pair of them through). My fear of my physical safety wasn't even alerted when we realized halfway across that there was a bull in there too, who we passed within four feet of.

Of course we got through fine, the cows moved away from us and the bull just snorted. And of course, there was no warning sign on the other side!

I wanted to post this to show people how irrational our fears can be, even eclipsing fears that are legitimate :roflmao:

[PASchoolSyndrome]

It's good that you saw how silly your fears were!
The problem with anxiety is we can't see how irrational we're being when other people can't.. so it's always awesome when we catch/walk ourselves through it!!

Plus that hike sounds amazing!

[Rhiannon.]

I was pretty impressed with myself being able to rationalize my fears and also actually going ahead and walking through a field full of cows!

The hike was amazing. Beautiful countryside. I even saw my first hare. Seen millions of rabbits out hiking but never a hare. It was huge, bigger than one of my dogs! That took me by surprise :roflmao:

But the theater, gosh, it was stunning. It's so surreal seeing these sculptures and the huge stage in the middle of nowhere.

Included a photo of my smaller dog with one of the sculptures, Peter Pan I believe it is

[PASchoolSyndrome]

Good for you girl!

And that does sound amazing! Quite jealous as I've been stuck in the house for a while. Your dog is adorable!!!

[GlassPinata]

I was really freaked out. What if these cows were quarantined? What if we crossed the path and found a sign warning people to stay away? What if what if?

You could actually visualize that sign so clearly in your head, couldn't you? :D
I can visualize it, just hearing your story. It's like a movie, but real. But also, of course, not real, because there was no sign.

As I mentioned the other day, I am beginning to think that many of us HA sufferers are just people with really, really good imaginations (combined, perhaps, with a somewhat morbid disposition; I mean, we don't visualize or expect positive things very often, do we?)

I am a writer (as a hobby; not for a living). Sometimes my catastrophic turns of mind help me write good stories. Like, in your cow experience... if you'd actually seen such a sign, then what? instead of "what if, what if", you should be asking yourself, "What next? What next?"
It is the basis of a really good story.

And so, while you were walking through the cows, thinking about this terrible sign that seemed likely to suddenly appear, you should've taken the story farther, in your mind. What if we saw that sign? What if the cows were diseased, quarantined? What would happen next?
You could've written a whole awesome piece of short fiction in your head during your walk, and then when you got home you could've typed it up.

I'm just saying, listening to the vivid imaginings of many on this forum (and reflecting on my own), I think many of us might be helped (or at least distracted, momentarily) if we turned our fears into art of some sort, some type of creative expression.

Just an idea.