View Full Version : Docs appt tomorrow, Cancer fears AGAIN
Docs appointment tomorrow morning. I can't wait, been worrying over a lump i found in my neck/bottom of head for about 3 weeks. I didnt feel it because it hurt, i was literally checking my whole body for lumps, and found one, its in the back of my head/top of my neck, about as high as the bottom of the ear. Feels like pea sized, if you cut a pea in half and placed it under the skin, it feels like that. Whats absolutely crazy is, i started googling, and started reading about lymphoma, all the symptoms etc, and i decided that itching kept coming up and i didnt have any itching at all, so didnt worry about it for the next few days. Then guess what, out of the blue, 4 days later, i have this horrible itch all over my boy, and a red rash, and im now convinced that my veins are alot more visible than they used to be.
When im not panicking i try to rationalize and make sense of things. Am i either A) really unlucky and suffer from HA aswell as developed this disease B) Did my subconscious mind somehow remember this itching symptom (i swear i did not think about itching at all, it wasnt like i was waiting for it to happen and it did, i literally forgot about it or so i thought and my health anxiety has made it appear? I dont know the answer, but if the answer is B i actually find it amazing that our minds can do such a thing, i thought id forgot about it.
15 months ago i last went to the docs, i literally went in with stomach problems, and came straight out with im pretty sure i have colon cancer. I think she there and then thought i was nuts, but was very nice, did some blood tests, all came back fine, she reassured me i had nothing to worry about and i felt a new lease of life for about 2 months, the stomach aches went away too.
A few months later, they came back, followed by thoughts that my doc had gotten it wrong. Another thing that is quite odd is, i still had these stomach problems 2 months ago, and since i found this lump in my neck, and have convinced myself i have lymphoma or some cancer that has swollen it, my stomach has been fine!?!! and now, im obsessed with itching sensations, and feeling my neck for swelling.
I have contacted someone about anxiety counselling last week who im due to see this week (i just want to check the doc doesnt confirm im right first, if they do, theres no point i guess). Its gotten really bad, i have pretty much spent the last 12 months as a dying man, without being sure, ive made sure all life insurance is in check for my OH, working out how much she will need if im to go now, cost of funeral, paying off house, etc etc, some days its not even just a what if, its a certainty in my mind and i want to be prepped for it. Then i have a 10 minute rationalize and think, ive just been out walking the dog for 2 hours, came home and did some DIY on the house, went out for a 6 mile run and did my daily pressups, is that really what somebody does who i believe has been dying of cancer for the last 2 years.
I dont know if i will ever get over this tbh, if i go there tomorrow and they tell me im being daft, and im fine, i might feel ok for a month or so, but i know i will go back to something else wrong with me, so ive set myself a long time away date. If i get to the age of 35 (Im 32 now) then there is no doubt about it, its all in my head,ive not been dying for 5/6 years, and theres pretty much no room for me to make excuses. Might seem a silly idea to some, but, its a bit of a backup, if im still like this then, i think it will help me realise how long this has been going on and all in my head.
Will update tomorrow after the docs looked at this lump along with some other symptoms ive had. If again, its all in my head, hopefully the counselling will help, i just cant take my mind off it for more than 10 minutes.
Just to let you know I know how you feel!!
Tomorrow is the 3rd time im going to the GP as Im concerned I might have lung cancer and i have found a lump near my hip! I am worried to the point that I cant function, I know its wrong as worry will make it worse but I just cant help it!
I know how you feel!
Hi Kay, have just read your own post, and sounds like you are panicking even more than i am, im sure your doc will put your mind at ease tomorrow, please update us. Hopefully we can both celebrate tomorrow after our appointments that we are in fact, just loonies but physically fine ;)
PASchoolSyndrome
20-02-17, 04:12
The sound of your "lump" doesn't sound like a lump at all. It sounds like a normal lymph node, which is what I'm sure you're doctor will tell you. PleaE take a little comfort in the fact that if anybody went looking for lymph nodes in their body they would be able to feel quite a few.
And I hope when your doctor tells you it feels normal or he/she is not concerned, you believe them and move on. Good luck at your appointment and maybe speak to them about your anxiety.
The sound of your "lump" doesn't sound like a lump at all. It sounds like a normal lymph node, which is what I'm sure you're doctor will tell you. PleaE take a little comfort in the fact that if anybody went looking for lymph nodes in their body they would be able to feel quite a few.
And I hope when your doctor tells you it feels normal or he/she is not concerned, you believe them and move on. Good luck at your appointment and maybe speak to them about your anxiety.
I do not and did not purposely look for lymph nodes......did not even know you get these in the skin above your hip......
One will see what she says about it all....need to put closure to this issue now today! Getting bored now....
I think PAS was talking to me about feeling for lumps Kay, which i was guilty of.
Anyway ive just got back from doctors, told me it is a swollen lymph node as i thought, checked the rest of my body (arm pits, groin, neck etc) and said there are no others, infacti had to direct him to the swollen one, it was a little higher up than he was checking, its just that isolated one he said. He has ordered for blood tests and an appointment to go back in a month, said of course ill be contacted beforehand if anything urgent shows up on blood tests. We spoke about anxiety and HA, told him i am going to counselling as of this week for it, he thinks its a good idea and seemed to think it was my most likely problem but said we should get the bloods done anyway to see if anything comes up with the swollen lymph node and it might help put my mind at rest.
Kicking myself a little bit as i was determined to not walk out with questions unasked but i didnt say to him well if its not what i think it is what could it be, i forgot in the moment. But i know they can come up with infections and ive heard of them not going down.
Anyway we will see what the bloods show i suppose.
I do not and did not purposely look for lymph nodes......did not even know you get these in the skin above your hip......
One will see what she says about it all....need to put closure to this issue now today! Getting bored now....
Perhaps their comment was meant for the OP, who did say they were literally checking their body for lumps.
Op I have a palpable node in my neck, just noticed it a few weeks ago, I take comfort in the comment by PASchoolSyndrome saying it sounds like a normal node and I think you should too. You would know if it was truly swollen as it'd be like the ones you get when you're about to get a could and they're much bigger than a pea.
---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 ----------
Sorry didn't see your post. Hopefully the test will put your mind at ease.
Perhaps their comment was meant for the OP, who did say they were literally checking their body for lumps.
Op I have a palpable node in my neck, just noticed it a few weeks ago, I take comfort in the comment by PASchoolSyndrome saying it sounds like a normal node and I think you should too. You would know if it was truly swollen as it'd be like the ones you get when you're about to get a could and they're much bigger than a pea.
---------- Post added at 10:43 ---------- Previous post was at 10:41 ----------
Sorry didn't see your post. Hopefully the test will put your mind at ease.
SORRY all - in a state of panic - not quite 'there' anymore! :) :shrug:
Good luck today Kay i can feel your worry i hope they put your mind at ease
Good luck today Kay i can feel your worry i hope they put your mind at ease
Thanks - need a xray and bloods or something this is getting crazy, worrying like this cannot be good for the body, its constant!!!
What exactly did the doctors say today, were they concerned and do they think you are overly worried? Did you discuss anxiety/health anxiety?
What exactly did the doctors say today, were they concerned and do they think you are overly worried? Did you discuss anxiety/health anxiety?
No havent been as yet, the appointment is this evening.
PASchoolSyndrome
20-02-17, 15:47
I think PAS was talking to me about feeling for lumps Kay, which i was guilty of.
Anyway ive just got back from doctors, told me it is a swollen lymph node as i thought, checked the rest of my body (arm pits, groin, neck etc) and said there are no others, infacti had to direct him to the swollen one, it was a little higher up than he was checking, its just that isolated one he said. He has ordered for blood tests and an appointment to go back in a month, said of course ill be contacted beforehand if anything urgent shows up on blood tests. We spoke about anxiety and HA, told him i am going to counselling as of this week for it, he thinks its a good idea and seemed to think it was my most likely problem but said we should get the bloods done anyway to see if anything comes up with the swollen lymph node and it might help put my mind at rest.
Kicking myself a little bit as i was determined to not walk out with questions unasked but i didnt say to him well if its not what i think it is what could it be, i forgot in the moment. But i know they can come up with infections and ive heard of them not going down.
Anyway we will see what the bloods show i suppose.
So I went in with the same complaint and was given the same plan - he did every blood test, even a urine test, under the sun and told me to come back in month for reevaluation. Bloods were perfect, apparently had mono once, and when I went back a month later the size hadn't changed and some that were once palpable disappeared. Now I don't bother with them, sometimes when I'm in an anxious state I will feel for them (I have them all down the back of my neck), I have a hard time even finding them.
I do think it is important to get swollen lymph nodes, or even palpable ones checked out. Take comfort that when lymph nodes are cancerous, they grow fast and they grow to the size of tennis balls, in the absence of any other infection. The only advice I can give for this next month of waiting (it killed me!) is to quit poking them and checking them because if it grows you will know.
Kay, good luck on you're appointment tonight! I'm sure everything will be okay but that you get all the answers you need.
Kay, good luck on you're appointment tonight! I'm sure everything will be okay but that you get all the answers you need.
Thank you, holding thumbs, its so nerve wrecking for me, part says get it checked other part says 'doom'....I have to build myself up mentally to get there in the first instance and then the examinations and questions I think to myself 'why she asking that'....
Part of me would just crumble if she says 'let me refer you' and 'lets take some bloods'....OH DEAR ME!
So I went in with the same complaint and was given the same plan - he did every blood test, even a urine test, under the sun and told me to come back in month for reevaluation. Bloods were perfect, apparently had mono once, and when I went back a month later the size hadn't changed and some that were once palpable disappeared. Now I don't bother with them, sometimes when I'm in an anxious state I will feel for them (I have them all down the back of my neck), I have a hard time even finding them.
I do think it is important to get swollen lymph nodes, or even palpable ones checked out. Take comfort that when lymph nodes are cancerous, they grow fast and they grow to the size of tennis balls, in the absence of any other infection. The only advice I can give for this next month of waiting (it killed me!) is to quit poking them and checking them because if it grows you will know.
Kay, good luck on you're appointment tonight! I'm sure everything will be okay but that you get all the answers you need.
Thanks, im not going to lie, dont feel any better, infact, the fact he couldn't tell me it wasn't cancer has made me a bit more worried, but just trying my best to not think about it. I think i wanted to go in and him say no its not a swollen lymph node its a fatty lump or something, but that didn't happen. Ive rubbed my hand over it a few times, it really does seem like it changes in how much you can feel it throughout the day, not put my finger on it yet (whoops, pun) but i think its when im more active it becomes a bit more pronounced.
Funnily enough, ive had a lot of teeth problem recently. I had a root canal which failed it was killing me so went back and he cleaned it all out and did it again, its still hurting now although no where near as bad, and the act theres no nerve there makes me think it must be an infection above the tooth (when i press from the top of the tooth all the way up to my nose i can feel pain) and im wondering if that could be the cause.
Thanks, im not going to lie, dont feel any better, infact, the fact he couldn't tell me it wasn't cancer has made me a bit more worried, but just trying my best to not think about it. I think i wanted to go in and him say no its not a swollen lymph node its a fatty lump or something, but that didn't happen. Ive rubbed my hand over it a few times, it really does seem like it changes in how much you can feel it throughout the day, not put my finger on it yet (whoops, pun) but i think its when im more active it becomes a bit more pronounced.
Funnily enough, ive had a lot of teeth problem recently. I had a root canal which failed it was killing me so went back and he cleaned it all out and did it again, its still hurting now although no where near as bad, and the act theres no nerve there makes me think it must be an infection above the tooth (when i press from the top of the tooth all the way up to my nose i can feel pain) and im wondering if that could be the cause.
This lump thing I have is the same for me....seeing the GP at 18.30 its scaring me so much I cannot tell you!
PASchoolSyndrome
20-02-17, 17:20
I know it's hard to feel completely relieved after "Well, just watch it." There's a user on this board who's posts always really help me, and one of them is that cancer is an uncontrollable growth of cells. It doesn't just go away and it doesn't stop growing - just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Most doctor's take a very conservative approach with lymph nodes because they have so much experience and while it's always good to check them out - because bad things do happen - most can know right away when it's someone just being overly cautious vs. when it's something that needs to be taken care of urgently.
So I went to the GP says the lump is fatty cyst
Thats great news right Kay!! You can stop panicking now surely? Exactly what i wanted to hear at my appointment, but im glad one of us did. Never heard of anyone dying from a fatty cyst before!! I hope you have some peace now
:bighug1:
Just wanted to keep this thread updated, so I and maybe someone else can look back on it at some point and find it useful.
Had bloods took this morning. Whilst I was there I asked the nurse if she had access to my last bloods which she did and got up on the screen for me, (these were 14 months ago) all normal except slightly low haemoglobin levels? Not researched what it means yet exactly. But she did say it was barely out of the normal range.
Results should be back Friday.
Been having alot of muscle twitching going in in the meantime. Two nights ago it was my thigh muscle, at first I thought it was a pulse, but then I rolled my pants up and watched it twitching like crazy repeatedly for about an hour, I went for a 2 mile run, and it seemed to go away.
Last night lots of twitching under my left arm pit. The same as the thigh, but I couldn't really stop it and eventually I gave up and went to bed. It was gone on the morning.
Have muscle aches all over today but they are probably classed as mild, not stopping me decorating anyway, but nagging me, legs, buttocks, arms and neck.
I actually hope something comes up on bloods now, just want an answer.
PASchoolSyndrome
22-02-17, 11:13
Slightly low hemogloblin just means you were slightly slightly anemic, and if it was just barely out of range than it's nothing to worry about. Clearly the doctors didn't and you went the next 14 months just fine!
The twitching is most likely from anxiety from this ordeal. Muscles twitch from anxiety, even if the anxiety doesn't stem from the muscles!
I hope your bloods come back all clear!!
Bloods have come back all clear today. Docs said i dont need to go in as theres no concerns. Think they are sick of me lol.
PASchoolSyndrome
23-02-17, 14:31
It's not that they're sick of you, its that YOU'RE not sick!
Congratz!
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