Fear of being a bad person/narcissist/psychopath

[lunam]

Hello! Sorry if this is a long post, I have a lot to get off my mind. I'm terrified of being a bad person/narcissist/psychopath or wanting attention, for example I've been ill recently and I was scared that if I talk to people about it they'll think I'm attention seeking and I get awful thoughts in my head like "I enjoy being ill" I try to ignore it but it keeps popping into my mind. I've also become a vegetarian recently and I'm worried I'm doing it for attention whereas when I first became one I actually wanted to do it to help with healthy eating. I'm also afraid of talking about myself too much or not caring enough about other peoples problems (oh the irony of this post). My most recent fear is I'm a manipulative person, it's a long story but I have a friend who I like but she kept letting me down and I was starting to go off her for many reasons but the other day she mentioned she would do something for me (this post is already long I don't want to make it longer haha) and I said I'd go to the cinema with her and I'm beginning to want become close to her again but the thought that I'm using her keeps popping into my brain and that I don't actually like her and only want to be nice to her and spend time with her because of the favour she'll do for me, I have no intention of dropping her if she does the favour for me but argh I don't even want her to do it now because I don't want to seem like I'm just using her! I also keep thinking that what if she didn't offer the favour? Would I have wanted to spend more time with her? The thoughts are so convincing and I've got no clue what to do. I guess I'm looking for reassurance as that's helped me before in the past (temporarily).

I'm sorry if that post was really long but I'm really struggling with fighting my own thoughts and it's exhausting, I have no clue whether or not I'm a bad person and that really scares me.
Thank you so much if you read all of that, I really appreciate any advice given. :)

[ocdbaking]

No real advice, but just to let you know that you're not the only one who thinks about this.

I spend a lot of my day worrying that I have dominated conversations, and made them all about me. I worry my friends complain about this behind my back. Only once have I asked a close friend about my concerns, and she thought I was being weird as it had never crossed her mind.

So when the thoughts come in, I try to ignore them.

OCD thinking sucks, doesn't it?!

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Lunam actually I think the problem lies with your friend who keeps letting you down, you actually seem ok but may have issues on wether you are going to be liked or not, will I fit in here etc. I used to be the same but my life is now back on track and only the other day was told you are looking so positive and stay away from negative ppl I used to hang around with any one just for company but usually got hurt at the end of the day, but I have moved on greatly and don't seek the company of such ppl any more :) So don't keep thinking it's all you at fault cause it's not :) Cheers

[lunam]

No real advice, but just to let you know that you're not the only one who thinks about this.

I spend a lot of my day worrying that I have dominated conversations, and made them all about me. I worry my friends complain about this behind my back. Only once have I asked a close friend about my concerns, and she thought I was being weird as it had never crossed her mind.

So when the thoughts come in, I try to ignore them.

OCD thinking sucks, doesn't it?!

I'm glad but also sad that I'm not the only one who thinks like this, I've also asked a friend about the thoughts and she reacted exactly the same! I'll work on ignoring the thoughts and not giving them any power to control me.

Thank you for the response! I definitely feel less alone now. :)

---------- Post added at 14:11 ---------- Previous post was at 14:04 ----------


Hi Lunam actually I think the problem lies with your friend who keeps letting you down, you actually seem ok but may have issues on wether you are going to be liked or not, will I fit in here etc. I used to be the same but my life is now back on track and only the other day was told you are looking so positive and stay away from negative ppl I used to hang around with any one just for company but usually got hurt at the end of the day, but I have moved on greatly and don't seek the company of such ppl any more :) So don't keep thinking it's all you at fault cause it's not :) Cheers

Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate the kindness! I do worry about whether people like me or not and often feel like I don't fit in, the thoughts don't help at all. I'm glad your life is going well, I hope to achieve the same some day! Again, thank you!! This really helps me. :)

[Bigboyuk]

I'm glad but also sad that I'm not the only one who thinks like this, I've also asked a friend about the thoughts and she reacted exactly the same! I'll work on ignoring the thoughts and not giving them any power to control me.

Thank you for the response! I definitely feel less alone now. :)

---------- Post added at 14:11 ---------- Previous post was at 14:04 ----------



Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate the kindness! I do worry about whether people like me or not and often feel like I don't fit in, the thoughts don't help at all. I'm glad your life is going well, I hope to achieve the same some day! Again, thank you!! This really helps me. :) You are welcome and you will just try starting to change your mind set :) I have wasted too much time in the past, but not any more :) and with the support of this forum you will get there:yesyes: Cheers

[lunam]

You are welcome and you will just try starting to change your mind set :) I have wasted too much time in the past, but not any more :) and with the support of this forum you will get there:yesyes: Cheers

I will :) if it worked for you then it's worth trying! I'll probably pop on this forum more often when I start feeling overwhelmed, everyone's advice is amazing!