Hello there

[Rubix76]

Hi,

I am a 40 year old bloke, who is married (to my fantastic wife) with 3 kids (10,8 & 4yo) Our 8yo is diagnosed with ASD, our 10 year old has some anxiety issues, our 4yo daughter is adopted so has separation anxiety and attachment issues. My wife has been on and off sick for the last year with depression, we are both on anti-depressants. our boys (10 and 8yo) seem to constantly fight, the eldest sees it as unfair that we parent the younger one differently as he sees his autism differences as unfair.

Errrrm sounds pants when written down. I'm pretty sure I have ASD/Asperger traits (as did my dad - he was very OCD)

But I'm employed, have a roof over my head, air in my lungs and so are grateful for all the good things i have - just struggle with the bad.... :unsure:

I never thought i was bothered by what people think, but have realised in the last 6 months of counselling that stuff does REALLY bother me, I just struggle to understand, what and why (by myself) without discussing it with others.

R

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Rubix76 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[fduop]

Good morning Rublix76.

I understand your situation, I have suffered silently with panic and anxiety since 1999. Plus my wife and I have a 26 year old son that suffers from Asperger's. Reading your post brought back a lot of memories both good and bad. We have 3 other "normal" adult children who grew up around their brother.

I don't want to push any agenda on you and your family about "how we did it". Because I can already see that you and your family are being proactive at doing what needs to be done. All I will say is love your kids and wife with all your heart. Hopefully like myself you'll discover you're not as bad at this parenting thing as you might think.

Best to you Rubix76!

[Rubix76]

Thanks for your replies,

Fduop, your kind words were very reassuring. I guess the "parenting" we have to do doesn't fit the social norms and that can be a struggle in itself, along with dealing with his struggles. I'm really not looking forward to puberty when he goes through - he's a big enough kid as its is and when he starts "throwing" his weight around we certainly know it (he's only 8 !!)

We have even (voluntarily) brought in social workers to try in earnest to get help as we are fast running out of ideas (and hair - apart from the grey ones fast pushing through :roflmao:) we are currently at CIN (child in need) status as he's pushed his brother down the stairs in the past (whilst he was holding his sister).

[fduop]

Rublix76

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of those is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)

[Rubix76]

Amen to that.