View Full Version : Going back to doctor today - again :-(
BrokenGirl
23-02-17, 12:23
I'm in the middle of a breast cancer HA spiral and so I'm going back to my doctor again today looking for reassurance for my latest symptom.
I'm so scared she'll start getting mad at me for going back to her, or that she'll tell me this new symptom is a bit worrisome.
I can honestly say I've never been as scared in my life as i have been this past week. My counselor is teaching me nothing, not giving me one piece of advice of how i can start to tackle these thoughts (which of course are real in my head).
I'm just hoping i come back on here later and tell you that she reassured me about my breast issue and hopefully she might advise me what to do with the whole counselling issue.
Sorry for the rant, but i have no where else to turn to at the moment.
I feel physically ill even typing this :weep:
I am sorry your anxiety is slapping you around. It really is a tough feeling that way.
Catherine S
23-02-17, 12:33
Just take a few deep breaths and tell her everything that's worrying you. Write it all down if you have to. She shouldn't be angry, it's her job and you're not the only lost soul she sees. But look, from what you say she may feel she can't win...if she offers more tests you'll freak out, if she doesn't offer any and tells you all is well you'll still worry.
I think the important thing, and the most positive thing is to get her to agree to a different counsellor because the right counsellor will set you on the right path.
Deep breaths, good luck.
Cath ☺ x
I once became VERY anxious about visiting my GP about a reoccurring HA issue.
In the consulting room, I explained how I had panicked about visiting, was afraid of being seen as a time waster & being told off. The doctor was exceedingly nice, gently reassured me about the HA & said that anxiety was a valid reason to make an appointment (& that I wasn't to think otherwise).
I hope your appointment goes well!
BrokenGirl
23-02-17, 12:58
Thank you for the replies.
All I want is for her to reassure me about my breast and put me on the right road for counselling, because at the moment i'm not there.
I've never been so ill with worry. How can HA become so bad??
How the hell did i ever get to this?
I just wish today's visit was over with.....
BrokenGirl
24-02-17, 11:17
So I went to the doc yesterday and I'm not sure how i feel about it really.
She was nice, but refused to look at my breast again. She said she would have seen if there was anything there when she last examined me. I was really hoping she'd look at it and reassure me, but maybe she was trying to break that cycle. Maybe she thought if she did look at me and reassure me, I'd be fine for a while but then there'd be something else!
I'm trying to keep myself calm, tell myself everything is ok, but it's so damn hard!!!
And she also thinks i should give the counselling a few more sessions before i make my mind up. Not sure if i agree with her on that one! I have nothing to work with for my anxiety from those sessions.
I don't know, should i be happy that she didn't examine me? Should i take that as a good sign, even though i'm still very worried!
So I went to the doc yesterday and I'm not sure how i feel about it really.
She was nice, but refused to look at my breast again. She said she would have seen if there was anything there when she last examined me. I was really hoping she'd look at it and reassure me, but maybe she was trying to break that cycle. Maybe she thought if she did look at me and reassure me, I'd be fine for a while but then there'd be something else!
I'm trying to keep myself calm, tell myself everything is ok, but it's so damn hard!!!
And she also thinks i should give the counselling a few more sessions before i make my mind up. Not sure if i agree with her on that one! I have nothing to work with for my anxiety from those sessions.
I don't know, should i be happy that she didn't examine me? Should i take that as a good sign, even though i'm still very worried!
I just wanted to say that I have been to three different GP's for the same issue and I get the same result but the point I am trying to make is that as with the same as you I saw my GP on Monday evening, explained it all to her again (upper back pain) and she changed the subject totally after telling me that the pain I am experiencing is muscular and then reverted to say 'I need to break this cycle with you', I am not going to send you for tests as two other GP's have seen you and I trust their diagnosis too. Don't worry I am in the same 'boat' as you and I am on my 5th day of citralopam and waiting for my 1st CBT session to the confirmed, I am too trying desperately to trust what the DR has diagnosed, it is hard...you not alone....:)
I think the doctor was quite right not to examine you again. It's hard to accept but she chose not to be enabling and is more concerned with managing your HA appropriately. Any doctor who continually examines the same area or who sends you for tests just for your own "peace of mind" isn't addressing your true pain which isn't disease-related.
ServerError
24-02-17, 12:13
Sounds like a very good doctor to me.
BrokenGirl
24-02-17, 12:53
I know ye are probably right. I hate this feeling of needing constant reassurance. It's withering!!!
I'll just have to keep going, keep telling myself everything is ok, and maybe i'll start believing it eventually!!!
Sounds like a very good doctor to me.
Agreed! That's a doctor that really cares and is pushing you in the right direction.
Positive thoughts
I know ye are probably right. I hate this feeling of needing constant reassurance. It's withering!!!
I'll just have to keep going, keep telling myself everything is ok, and maybe i'll start believing it eventually!!!
That is what I am trying to do....its hard, I know, just remember dont feel alone with it.
Unless you actually believe what the doctor tells you you'll just be going round and round in circles with your reassurance-seeking and endless trips to the GP..It's a very limiting and limited way to live your life.
I just wanted to say that I have been to three different GP's for the same issue and I get the same result but the point I am trying to make is that as with the same as you I saw my GP on Monday evening, explained it all to her again (upper back pain) and she changed the subject totally after telling me that the pain I am experiencing is muscular and then reverted to say 'I need to break this cycle with you', I am not going to send you for tests as two other GP's have seen you and I trust their diagnosis too. Don't worry I am in the same 'boat' as you and I am on my 5th day of citralopam and waiting for my 1st CBT session to the confirmed, I am too trying desperately to trust what the DR has diagnosed, it is hard...you not alone....:)
I am exactly the same I have been to over 5 different doctors about my upper back pain. I have also been reffeeef for CBT and been put on citralopram! Where is ur upper back pain and what does it feel like?
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