thepalequeen
23-02-17, 12:32
I recently started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to deal with my HA and my therapist made a really good point that though I spend so much time Googling symptoms of terminal illnesses, I haven't spent much time researching HA itself. This forum has made me feel a little bit better and understood already
I've always been an anxious lady, but since October I've started developing acute health anxiety that is completely consuming me. I started therapy because I know that I'm being irrational and have gotten to a stage where I'm really worrying about pushing my family and partner away because ALL I want to do is talk about my health fears and seek reassurance that only lasts a few minutes.
In the past four months I have convinced myself I have:
- bone cancer, because I was suffering from a bulging disc in my back
- bowel cancer, because I had constipation
- Cervical and ovarian cancer
- HIV (due to unprotected sex)
I'm also checking my body compulsively for signs of breast and skin cancer. I haven't slept properly in months. It's affecting my work, and my relationships, it's all I can think about.
Right now I have a weird headache that's not even particularly painful, it just feels like a ton weight is on my head- a lot of pressure. I've felt my head and have become convinced that there's a lump on top of it, even though my boyfriend says it just just the shape of my skull. And because I have eye floaters, I'm convinced even more that I have a brain tumour.
Deep down I know I probably don't- because I don't have any other symptoms other than a tight/pressured head and some floaters, but it's a daily, exhausting struggle trying to convince myself I don't have a tumour, or anything else. When I thought I had bowel cancer I spent £70 on a home test that could detect gastrointestinal bleeding and when it came back clear I felt so relieved and excited to start living a life that wasn't plagued by the worry of bowel cancer and then literally the SECOND I stopped worrying about that, I started getting this strange tense sensation in my head.
I know the chances are I don't have anything wrong with me, and these are just symptoms brought on by anxiety and stress. But I can't escape the worry that I'm going to die. CBT isn't working as well as I thought it would.
I'm sorry for typing such a long message- I'm just so aware that I have talked this to death with my family and boyfriend and they don't understand. I don't want to be this way- I just want to enjoy my life. I guess if anybody had any tips or coping mechanisms to share with me I would really appreciate it. Also my therapist said I shouldn't ask for reassurance but I would REALLY like to know I don't have a brain tumour. :unsure:
I've always been an anxious lady, but since October I've started developing acute health anxiety that is completely consuming me. I started therapy because I know that I'm being irrational and have gotten to a stage where I'm really worrying about pushing my family and partner away because ALL I want to do is talk about my health fears and seek reassurance that only lasts a few minutes.
In the past four months I have convinced myself I have:
- bone cancer, because I was suffering from a bulging disc in my back
- bowel cancer, because I had constipation
- Cervical and ovarian cancer
- HIV (due to unprotected sex)
I'm also checking my body compulsively for signs of breast and skin cancer. I haven't slept properly in months. It's affecting my work, and my relationships, it's all I can think about.
Right now I have a weird headache that's not even particularly painful, it just feels like a ton weight is on my head- a lot of pressure. I've felt my head and have become convinced that there's a lump on top of it, even though my boyfriend says it just just the shape of my skull. And because I have eye floaters, I'm convinced even more that I have a brain tumour.
Deep down I know I probably don't- because I don't have any other symptoms other than a tight/pressured head and some floaters, but it's a daily, exhausting struggle trying to convince myself I don't have a tumour, or anything else. When I thought I had bowel cancer I spent £70 on a home test that could detect gastrointestinal bleeding and when it came back clear I felt so relieved and excited to start living a life that wasn't plagued by the worry of bowel cancer and then literally the SECOND I stopped worrying about that, I started getting this strange tense sensation in my head.
I know the chances are I don't have anything wrong with me, and these are just symptoms brought on by anxiety and stress. But I can't escape the worry that I'm going to die. CBT isn't working as well as I thought it would.
I'm sorry for typing such a long message- I'm just so aware that I have talked this to death with my family and boyfriend and they don't understand. I don't want to be this way- I just want to enjoy my life. I guess if anybody had any tips or coping mechanisms to share with me I would really appreciate it. Also my therapist said I shouldn't ask for reassurance but I would REALLY like to know I don't have a brain tumour. :unsure: