Pancreatic cancer worry

[Worriedwellornot]

I posted yesterday about my returning Pancreatic Cancer worry and only had a couple of responses. Today to add to my concern I've started getting a really bad back. My HA is now ramping up to massive proportions and I've started trawling the PanCan website and case stories again. I really feel I have most of the symptoms now. I've got another GP appointment in a month but don't feel I can wait that long. I can't believe all these symptoms can come from Gerd/acid reflux. Feeling so worried.

[Kathryn313]

A couple of responses in one day is an expected amount so am not sure whether you are perceiving that as a problem...

You mention in your previous post that you haven't yet had any treatment for anxiety, is it time to look into it?

PanCan websites will align your symptoms with theirs, since initial symptoms can be vague but vague symptoms can be many things. Which I think you know by now having lived with HA for many years.

Are you going to try for an earlier appointment?

[Worriedwellornot]

Hi Kathryn thanks for your response. I think it's because my HA is really heightened at the moment that I was looking for more responses. I've been on and off anti depressants which did help but not currently having any treatment. For the last 6 months I've been on a real health kick with lots of exercise etc but after Xmas I realised I had lost a lot of weight and I then started with the stomach problem. Despite eating properly over last 2 months I'm still losing weight which I then started to put symptoms together ...hence the cancer worry. I work full time so very difficult to get an earlier appointment

[Kathryn313]

weight loss is a massive trigger for me, so much so that i am scared to eat healthier and lose weight intentionally, which is pretty unhelpful behavior in its-self.

What do you think you might do between now and the appointment by way of distraction?

[Worriedwellornot]

It's my birthday next week so hopefully will take my mind off things. I really don't want to keep googling....

[GlassPinata]

It's my birthday next week so hopefully will take my mind off things. I really don't want to keep googling....

When i'm stuck in "google mode" the one thing that sometimes helps is to stop googling my disease du jour and instead start googling "health anxiety" or "GAD" or "anxiety disorder".
My symptoms always fit so much better under "anxiety" than they do under whatever type of cancer i currently believe I'm suffering from. Plus, i occasionally get a helpful tip for dealing with anxiety and related symptoms.

[beatroon]

A birthday sounds like a good distraction. As a way to help stop googling, have you thought about a solution like Freedom software, or website blocking? If you use a certain browser, you can make some sites off-limits - like whatever sites you are currently checking for this particular worry. I've found this helpful when I'm trying to cut back on anxiety-based compulsions, i.e. Dr Google.

I'm sure you already know this, but checking the internet for symptoms is a ritual to keep your anxiety at bay. it's extremely uncomfortable to just stop Googling altogether but if you can wean yourself off it, that's how you break the anxiety cycle (and get your life back on track!). A legitimate use of Google might be to look online for some help sheets detailing how to reduce compulsions like this. Print 'em off and have a real go at cutting down the amount of time you spend checking, you'll be amazed how much better you feel. Again, i know it's excruciatingly hard, but it's the best way to fight this thing.

[Worriedwellornot]

Hi Glasspinata I recognise that you name from when I was in a previous health spiral! I did what you were suggesting yesterday actually and that made me feel a bit better. I went Birthday shopping today but really didn't want my husband to get me anything in case I wasn't going through be around to use it... I wish I didn't worry so much. My biggest worry is my weight loss over 1.5 stone in 6 months and I didn't need to lose weight. That to me screams cancer and not just a healthy diet. All my work friends keep telling me I'm too thin but I keep telling them I'm not trying to lose the weight...

---------- Post added at 16:57 ---------- Previous post was at 16:53 ----------

Thank you Beatroon. When I'm not having a flare up I don't Google at all and then suddenly the few twinges form a sinister cocktail in my head. My gp diagnosed gastritis and gerd but I always think what if she has missed something. It's weird that once I get the all clear after a test the symptoms stop. They were definitely real so how does that happen!