Why do I feel depressed even though I have a perfectly good life?

[Alpieland]

Many apologies for the terribly whiny novel.

What do I actually have and how do I stop it?

I have a perfectly normal life with a few good friends, great family and currently doing quite well in college, but all the time I have this constant feeling of being misplaced, like I'm useless or just always in the way, I've always been an introvert and I think I'll always be someone who prefers being alone etc but I feel like whenever I'm with people they don't want me there even my family. I've suffered with insomnia and anxiety for as long as I can remember but I'm aware of it and know how to help it but this feeling I've been have for the past two months I'm not sure what it is, I don't think it's depression as I have nothing to be depressed about yet it doesn't feel like a "normal feeling as a teenager". Whenever I eat I feel sick and I shouldn't of eaten and all the time I feel like my life is pointless and then I feel massively guilty because I'm extremely lucky to have food, family and a roof over my head. I can't sleep because I'm constantly thinking about every mistake I've made or how I believe my future will flop. The worst thing is my family and friends never notice when I feel like this and if I try to talk to them they compare it to worse situations or tell me to stop being silly. I really want to get rid of this overwhelming sadness and darkness I feel 24/7 these days for no reason and go back to the kinda happy me before people notice. I'm extremely exhausted of smiling when I feel like crying and all I want to do is be alone but then i feel lonely like, WHY MIND. Anyway I could ramble for ages, my question is what do I actually have and how to I help it? without involving people?

[AntsyVee]

Have you ever had any episodes of depression prior to this?

You do sound depressed.

Some people just get periodic episodes of depression throughout their lives. Some people get depressed after a long build up of many little stresses. Some people deal with depression and trying to keep it at bay all of their lives. Unfortunately, there really isn't a set pattern; although it is more common to experience depression after negative life events and triggers.

I'm the type that has always had to deal with depression and probably always will. Unfortunately the best ways to help it (IMO) do involve two people: your doc and your therapist. When I've been heavily depressed, I've needed meds and therapy to pull myself out of it.

[Cakelady]

Hi, you do sound very low. Depression is strange like that, just because you have nothing really to be depressed about doesn't mean you won't get depression. Some people are more prone than others. But there are many things that can help you. Always good to go to see your doctor & explain because he will be able to suggest what may help you best, might be antidepressants. I used acupuncture for some time & found it helpful. Its important to look after you , eating well, keeping fluids up, exercise etc can help your mood. Take care x

[Alpieland]

Thanks guys. I'm really trying to avoid getting anyone involved because I always feel selfish but I'll think about it. But I am only 16 so a therapist is pretty well, scary? I wish I could talk to family or friends but they would just go on about how I have nothing to be depressed about. I just want to stop feeling so empty. I can't enjoy things I used to live anymore.

[Cakelady]

I understand & its not selfish getting help, you matter & help is there. I know alot of people don't understand but honestly just off loading your thoughts to your doctor might help, maybe pick a doctor you have felt comfortable with in the past, they see so many people feeling low they will know how best to help. Also the NHS direct website has a Moodzone with lots of helpful info, might be good to have a look , I know it is scary and daunting but the sooner you find some help the sooner you may start to feel better & start enjoying things again :) xx

[Citydeer]

The things you are saying are very common statements that people with depression make. Please don't write off your genuine mental illness because you feel that you are too young or shouldn't feel the way you do. It is not something you chose to feel, but if you take the right steps you can treat your illness and enjoy life again. Teenage years are tough and lots of people your age have depression, it has nothing to do with how good your life is. If you don't think your family will be able to offer you genuine advice or support you definitely should consider a therapist. I know it may seem scary, but is the idea really worse than how you feel right now? depression doesn't usually just go away if you do nothing, it's more likely you will just get stuck in the same negative thinking patterns and continue to be depressed. You've obviously got some good self-awareness and emotional intelligence to have come on this forum and recognised that you needed help. Good on you. It looks like you're from the UK, if you see an NHS GP they can refer you to treatment on the NHS such as therapy in the first instance or medication if they think that it is necessary.

[Alpieland]

Thanks people it's actually helped just getting someone's opinion even if they are a stranger. I will think about talking to a doctor.

[Cakelady]

That's good to hear, good luck & take care :) xx

[Dave1]

I think you have low self-confidence like I had. Hopefully, your confidence will naturally build as you get older.


if I try to talk to them they compare it to worse situations or tell me to stop being silly.

I lack confidence and I got told exactly the same things when I was your age - it doesn't help, it actually makes things worse. They are just saying that firstly you're ungrateful and secondly you're silly. They are trying to make you feel better about yourself by giving you a double insult. Crazy!