Waking up depressed? Bizarre dreams

[jenni89]

My mother passed away in 2014, and I keep having these really horrible dreams about her. I usually wake up crying and it sticks with me all day long. I guess this post is designed for people who might be going through or have been through something similar?

My mom passed away from cancer. I typically have these dreams where the setting is in a past house. One dream type is where she is diagnosed with cancer, and shows no symptoms whatsoever for months. I start to question in my dream, should she go to the doctor to see if maybe it is just gone? Why isn't she showing any symptoms if the doctor said she only had six months to live? I guess these are the better of the dreams, because my mom is her normal self.

Another dream type is my mom ill as can be. She spends most of the time in bed, and I come home from work or whatever errands I am running to the stress of the inevitable. It's like, I know she is going to pass away, but am not sure when and I do not want to be alone with her when it happens.

Last night in particular I had a dream that she was in bed for 3 days straight. I had not seen her or checked on her and I was having a conversation with my brothers who also said they hadn't gone into her room to check on her. It was bizarre, but I was almost afraid to go in there. I knew she hadn't eaten or anything. We finally went in there and she was about to pass away. I had this thought like "why didn't I come in here sooner, and bring her a little something to eat or see if she needed help with anything?" "I am going to regret this when she passes away" Another bizarre incident is in my dream, she had already passed away once. I didn't wanna have to go through it all again, I just wanted to get it all over with. As terrible as this sounds, I was just wishing I could go back to after she passed away the first time because it was so much stress having to deal with it all again.

After these dreams, I wake up crying. It sticks with me all day, and I am not sure why it happens so frequently. It's been a few years, and time has definitely helped me heal. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean I do not miss her from time to time. But i am not as hung up on it as when it was fresh. I hate the fact that I have these dreams where I am literally thinking "I just want her to die already." It sounds so horrible! What does this mean?! Is anyone in a similar boat?

[Shazamataz]

Sorry about the loss of your mother. It's hard!

My Dad died October 2014 and I have phases of dreaming about it a lot. I'm in one of those right now. Dad died from pneumonia as a result of a form of blood cancer and it was just awful to watch.

Last night I dreamed about him and instead of being physically ill he developed sudden and severe dementia and was just babbling and not making any sense and doing all sorts of strange things. I was desperately asking around for help with putting him out of his misery and was contemplating putting a pillow over his head myself.

Needless to say I woke up very upset.

I think you just have to write it off as a dream and try and get back to the present. I believe the brain continues to process stuff we haven't dealt with properly and this shows up in our dreams and will continue to do so until we are at peace with what's happened. The dreams are part of the processing so see them as doing the work for you.

Not much fun though!

[MOchp]

I lost my father to pancreatic cancer in 2008. I have and still sometimes have bad dreams and just plain weird dreams about him. I doubt I ever really processed what was happening when it happened as the whole thing felt like I was somewhere else mentally. I sat in my room on World of Warcraft trying to distract myself when I was home. I could barely stand to be in the room when he was at hospice care. It's a lot for anybody to process and I agree that I think our brains are still trying to process something and that shows up in our dreams. Even without bad dreams though I still tend to have worse anxiety and/or depression in the morning when I wake up. I'm not really a morning person though and never really sleep good so I figure that probably contributes to it. Just know you aren't alone, we are in it together.

[jenni89]

Sorry about the loss of your mother. It's hard!

My Dad died October 2014 and I have phases of dreaming about it a lot. I'm in one of those right now. Dad died from pneumonia as a result of a form of blood cancer and it was just awful to watch.

Last night I dreamed about him and instead of being physically ill he developed sudden and severe dementia and was just babbling and not making any sense and doing all sorts of strange things. I was desperately asking around for help with putting him out of his misery and was contemplating putting a pillow over his head myself.

Needless to say I woke up very upset.

I think you just have to write it off as a dream and try and get back to the present. I believe the brain continues to process stuff we haven't dealt with properly and this shows up in our dreams and will continue to do so until we are at peace with what's happened. The dreams are part of the processing so see them as doing the work for you.

Not much fun though!

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Never easy losing a parent!

---------- Post added at 23:06 ---------- Previous post was at 23:04 ----------


I lost my father to pancreatic cancer in 2008. I have and still sometimes have bad dreams and just plain weird dreams about him. I doubt I ever really processed what was happening when it happened as the whole thing felt like I was somewhere else mentally. I sat in my room on World of Warcraft trying to distract myself when I was home. I could barely stand to be in the room when he was at hospice care. It's a lot for anybody to process and I agree that I think our brains are still trying to process something and that shows up in our dreams. Even without bad dreams though I still tend to have worse anxiety and/or depression in the morning when I wake up. I'm not really a morning person though and never really sleep good so I figure that probably contributes to it. Just know you aren't alone, we are in it together.

My mother also passed from pancreatic cancer. Was not pleasant. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father to such a terrible illness.

[beatroon]

I understand how very upsetting these dreams can be. I still have anxiety dreams about my grandmother (more like a mother to me really) who passed away in 1999, where I'm late to visit her, or don't make it to her bedside, that sort of thing. I've come to think of them as the mind's way of processing feelings, but almost as a way of keeping in touch with her, also, which can be a more positive perspective on the situation. And in time, some of the flavour of the dreams has changed: last week I had one where we were just all in a restaurant having a nice meal together, and it felt nice, so perhaps in time your dreams will also start to feel more comforting than terrible. Either way, I'm so sorry for your loss, and wish you all the best for feeling more like yourself in the months and years to come.

[MOchp]

I honestly think that the ordeal with my father amplified my fear of death a lot. I guess it makes sense though, witnessing something horrible happen to someone close to me. It really sucks though. But just remember to never stop fighting, because we are better and stronger than our anxiety/depression, even if sometimes we dont feel like it.

[Jull]

Dreams can affect my mood of that day, I can understand your story.. I feel really sorry for you, can't do nothing but hope you'd get better soon :(

[Malsais]

Once I have a bad dream about my father who already passed away.
In the dream Im so happy to meet him, when I come to him he doesn't recognize me, I cried horibly in the dream and waking up sobing..