Introducing Myself

[Quiet-Lift]

:sofa: Hello to you all at No More Panic...This is my first thread so I hope you will bear with me. I've been diagnosed with a recurrent depressive disorder for which I've been taking 10mg. Seroxat each day. For many years I've become aware of steadily increasing Agoraphobic symptoms which are affecting my ability to go outside and do the normal everyday things that other's seem to take for granted...shopping for example...using a debit card without feeling I'm being watched by someone...crossing the road without imagining I'm going to be sent flying by some hit and run speed merchant ( I was hit by a car a few days before Princess Diana's fatal accident but unlike her, I managed to get away without any broken bones and just a few bruises )...
Over the past few years, since my elderly Mother's road traffic accident which resulted in the loss of one of her legs and her subsequent move to Wales ( a long way from me ) and the more recent unexpected death of one of my Brother's after his long stay in a Psychiatric institution and half-way house...I've been growing more and more depressed and finding it harder and harder to cope with even the simplest everyday tasks...life seems to have slowed down for me and I'm not getting any younger...
I'm hoping to get some Counselling soon, though I have mixed feelings about it. Being a pragmatic Londoner, I sometimes have my suspicions about such practices. It all looks good on paper but the real world tends to get in the way ( and in your face with alarming regularity ). I know that Counselling is more than just a cosy chat where you get someone to agree with all your opinions and offer sympathy.
I recently managed to stop smoking and have been a non-smoker for about 5 months now...but boy! The craving doesn't go away and I see so many bad examples when I do venture on to the streets...it's enough to make you join 'em again!
Thats it for now...I'm exhausted and unsure as to whether I've started off on the good foot...any responses, advice, coping strategies etc. would be most welcome...

[eastender]

H Allan,
another Londoner here. Sounds like you've had a lot to deal with, and giving up smoking! Thats my latest failure, stopped for 6 weeks had a crisis and started again, stupid I know! Anyway welcome to NMP, its very friendly here, I've found it a great help.

[Ellen70]

Hello Allan and welcome to NMP.
You are indeed having a difficult time and those past tragedies have understandably taken their bearings on you.
Like yourself, I am a longtime sufferer from mental health issues and you will find many others here on the site will have experienced similiar problems to yourself.

You haven't said if you are under regular medical supervision but I do hope your medication is under regular review.

From what you have said it does seem that you are quite isolated, especially from your family. I have lived on my own for ten years myself and have found how easy is it to become 'separated' from society. Do give counselling a fair chance, what have you got to lose? I had weekly sessions with a great psychotherapist for three years and though I am still suffering from panic, gad, depression and a certain amount of agoraphobia, that psychotherapy was very beneficial to me. It helped me put to rest several ghosts from my childhood. There are many types of psychotherapy/counselling and if you meet with one who just agrees with everything you say then I would advise you to move on and find another one who listens but challenges you when needed as well.

A support group is also a good option, no medical professionals involved and I have made some very good friends from a support group.

Anyway I hope you find some likeminded people here at nmp and maybe I will bump into you in the chatroom sometime.

Bye for now

Eibhlin

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xx

[groovygranny]

Hi Allan59! Big :welcome:to you!

You're amongst friends here! WELL DONE for the giving up smoking BTW!

I felt like you about Counselling but, I've got to say, it was the best move I made. Yes facing my fears and insecurities and becoming 'vulnerable' to someone else wasn't my idea of fun, there has to be a huge element of trust and I found that quite difficult at first. But as time went by that trust developed and led to my floodgates opening....... big-time! Wasn't always a smooth ride but I stuck at it - and I hope it will be the same for you. :)

Everyday things were a no-no for me too, just try and take each day at a time - a cliche I know but a good one - once you get the hang of it!

You'll have plenty of support here

Take care!

PS: don't worry - there are no 'right' or 'wrong' feet on NMP......just feet!

[tnt808]

Welcome to the site. You will find tons of support here!

[happyone]

Hi there Allan

You have had an awful lot to put up with in your life. I am so sorry about the loss of your brother, that is very sad. Losing a sibling, is in my experience a dreadful pain that takes a lot of time to come to terms with.

You do sound like you are becoming more isolated, so it would be good if your counselling helped. As others have said, there is lots of different types of counselling and it doesn't have to be a one off. I am on my third lot as my skeletons keep falling out of the closet!
CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is a tool that many sufferers of panic or depression benefit from and it is available on NHS, although possibly with a wait.
Also, like someone else said, I hope your drugs are being reviewed regularly. It also sounds like you might benefit from a referral to your local mental health team where you can receive support from a nurse or therapist there.

A very big well done for giving up the smoking. The cravings will go, or they will lessen in time. remember, smoking isn't just an addiction, it is a way of life, a habit. So some of the cravings come from the psychological aspect of it as opposed to the physical need. Keep up the good work and congratulate yourself on achieving this, especially in the face of what you are dealing with.

This place is full of friendly, helpful people. I'm sure you will find good support here.

Happyone

[honeybee3939]

Hi Allan

And a BIG warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice while making new friends on the way.:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[domino]

Hi alan, I can only echo what everyone else has already said ,:welcome: and don,t be:sofa: we are a friendly bunch on here.

[kelbob]

xxxxxxxx....:welcome: to the site..theres loads of support here and you will make great friends..xxxxxxx

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Eastender...
Thanks for your response...
Try not to be too hard on yourself over the smoking...6 weeks is better than 6 hours...maybe at sometime in the future you can try again?

Take Care

Allan59

[Quiet-Lift]

Hello Eibhlin...

thankyou for replying to my Post...your advice about Psychotherapy was most welcome...glad you got so much that was beneficial out of your experiences...I did have some individual/group Psychotherapy many years ago but the Therapist had to leave due to poor health...it was something of an ordeal at times and I lost my resolve on several occasions.

A Support Group sounds like a good idea. Something I'll have to investigate further...

Best Wishes

Allan59

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Happyone

So kind of you to respond to my post in such detail...Thanks for the encouragement and support about smoking...I suppose I have done quite well under the circumstances...I've put some weight on though!
I've always been interested in CBT. It seems to have a lot of potential... Negatively self-critical thought patterns which become ingrained over time do seem to represent a major root cause of ongoing depression as far as I'm concerned. Something like..."if I try this, I'll fail and that will reinforce my belief that I'm useless etc."
I do have some connection with my local CMHT and have regular contact with a Psychiatrist...I suppose I could request a change of Medication, though I've tried so many other kinds of anti-depressants in the past and became a misguided believer of the "magic pill" theory. After many years I've come to realise that there is'nt one!

Best wishes

Allan59

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Andrea :)

Many thanks for your response

Best Wishes:hugs:

Allan59



Hi Allan

And a BIG warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice while making new friends on the way.:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[manmoor]

Hi Allan,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[jo61]

As you can see you'll get lots of help and advice here. Keep it up.

[SANDYJANE]

Hi.

just want to say sorry your having such a hard time , and a big warm welcome , hope to chat soon xxxx


love Sandy xxx

[lilibet]

Dear Allan

I joined this site last december, after the death of my brother in law who had also just left our local mental health hospital and was in a half way house too!! He was only 40 and it was a huge shock, if you need to speak to me about it then thats fine.

Anyway this site is great, i tend to check in every day and i know you will get lots and lots of support here.

Take care

Lilibet

x x

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Lilibet

Thanks for your response.
Sorry to hear of your Brother In Law's passing...
Our experiences seem to have a few things in common. It is a shock isn't it? Like having a door slamming in your face with no chance of opening it again. My brother was 60. He wasn't looking after himself and was obviously having a lot of trouble adapting to my Mother's move to Wales. He'd lived with her all his life and had never learned how to look after himself. I was hoping he might be able to recover and rehabilitate himself but this wasn't to be.

I'm not the fastest typist in the world or the quickest reader but I will try to visit as often as possible. I do agree with your comments about NMP and am glad I took the plunge.

Best Wishes

Allan

xx

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Manmoor (unusual name!)
Many thanks for your welcome...

All the best

Allan

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Sandy

Many thanks for your kind comments...
It's tough at the moment but I am managing to keep my head above water as I hope you are too.

Best wishes

Allan

xxx

[lilibet]

Dear Allan

Thank you for replying to my post, yes we do seem to have similar experiences dont we? Just try to take care of yourself and you can always pm me if need be

Lilibet x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Allan

Wow you have been through so much! Hugs for you.

Just wanted to welcome you aboard and lovely to see you here.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Nicola

Many thanks for your welcome.

The last few years have been a bit traumatic but I try to be optimistic about my troubles and hopeful that something positive can emerge from them.

Hugs for you too and take care

Allan

xx