Anxiety affecting work, help?

[Mazzii342]

I'm fed up. My anxious thoughts have started to really affect my work once again. A couple of years ago my anxiety and depression caused issues at my workplace. I found myself getting later and later, calling in sick, not caring about my hygiene to an extant it was picked up on at work etc. I also found myself crying over small things. It's back again. I have a different job now, and I think because it's in it's early stages that's why I'm so anxious. Perhaps. I keep thinking of excuses. Lying about big things. I've told them things like my Mum's in hospital etc. I missed a day due to being sick, which was actually genuine. The latest 'reason' for missing work was that I had my bag "stolen". Actually, I lost my debit card and had no money to get there. I even went to the bank to get money out, but it's a sunday and it's closed. But I could have easily borrowed the money off my friend next door, instead I lied and told them I was robbed.

Yesterday I went in, and found out I had missed a day of work during the week, and I got so embarrassed and anxious that I walked out and went back home. It's getting regular and I have a feeling they're going to get sick of it. I haven't been there long, and I was only supposed to be a Christmas temp but they kept me on so I really don't want to give them an excuse to sack me or tell me they don't need me anymore, so I really don't feel like I can tell them about my deteriorating mental health.

Basically has anybody any advice? Anybody feel similarly? I'm feeling very alone and tired of being laid in my bed all day and all night too anxious to go to uni or work. I've missed two weeks of university after a mini breakdown I had and then my illness. Shall I go to the doctor? What will they do for me? I'm just so tired.

[Clydesdale Epona]

I would go to your doctor and see if you can get any support with your mental health especially as its affecting your daily life and Uni x

All the best :hugs:

[montys]

You mentioned that you're a student at a university. I am very confident that your school has free or almost-free mental health counseling/resources, whatever they might be. You should consult a professional at this point, given the anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life.

They can actually do quite a bit for you. Professionals can give you referrals to CBT specialists or get you on medication, and discuss small, everyday adjustments to your life that can help in big ways.

[ana]

I'm in a situation similar to yours and it has earned me a few '1 on 1 conversations in the office' with my boss. I got accused of not being interested in the workplace and getting involved with group activities at work when all I did was try and avoid situations that would make me feel extremely anxious and panic. I'd also miss days, call in sick, find an excuse to not do extra work, etc. etc. I don't believe I can disclose my mental health issue either.
I'd advise seeing a doctor and explaining to them how draining and stressful you are finding work. When mental health issues start affecting your daily functioning is the best time to seek help as it's really difficult to crawl out of that hole on your own.

[Zuluwarrior]

Sounds very similar to my recent situation. I started to tell white lies and use avoidance strategies in order to get out of work situations that I thought (or predicted) would be stressful or cause me to be anxious. It was a coping strategy (albeit not a healthy one) for dealing with stress/anxiety.

It starts to become a vicious circle - the more you avoid anxiety provoking situations, the more you cement the belief that you can't handle the anxiety/stress provoking situation. It also affects self esteem and can cause feelings of shame.

Currently trying mindfulness (Headspace) to try get a greater awareness of my negative thoughts/reactions to stressful situations. I've also read a really good book by Dr Sarah Edelman called "Change Your Thinking with CBT" and will be starting a CBT programme shortly.