Has health anxiety ruined anyone else's life?

[Thelegend27]

I'm 25 and ive posted a few threads here because of lymph nodes in my neck that i have now become obsessed with. If you want to know about my experiences you can read my threads before replying. But for me health anxiety has really taken over my life i even lost my job because i can't stay focused because im always poking my lymph nodes and also worried about stupid heart palpitations. I had a doctor feel my lymph nodes and also had cbc and ultrasound and she said they looked fine, i also had echocardiogram chest xrays lots of blood work and monitored on ekg for a total of 5 days which caught some pvcs but i was told my heart is in good shape and that there's no disease. But after all of the "good news" i still feel like there's some sort of undiagnosed disease and i am tearing my life apart with all the worries. I mean a normal person would be relieved after receiving good news from the doctors but someone like me convinces themselves that the doctors have missed something. I am aware i have a problem and i am aware it is taking a bad impact on my life and overall mental health and i desperately want help but it seems like the doctors ive seen are not worried about possibilities and more focused on moving on to the next patient. I hate my life as it is at the moment i can't take care of my responsibilities as a husband and father due to the endless cycle of fear and panic. I just keep telling myself there has to be a reason your lymph nodes in your neck are so palpable i mean i can barely touch my neck and feel a small lump and that terrifies me because all google has told me is lymph nodes arent suppose to be palpable at all and that they should be less than 1 cm and mine is 1.1 cm and they even found one that is 1.9 cm but i don't know which one that is but apparently they aren't concerned with it. I also have a very visible blue vein running down my right bicep and 3 down my forearm and i obsess over that too at times. Ive even looked into the toilet bowl after taking a poop looking for a problem. I am constantly looking for something to be worried about andbi don't know why. Anyone here have any advice or worries this much?

[Toaster]

I see zero things to be concerned with in your entire post. My opinions below.

1. Doctors have felt the nodes and weren't concerned.
2. My nodes are palpable in my neck and have been for long enough that I would be dead if they weren't normal.
3. My doctor says that 1cm might warrant additional investigation, but he only cares about ones that are grape sized.
4. If the ultrasound was on the nodes, it would have detected changes to the nodes. (if they became fibrous, cancerous, had their structure replaced)
5. A blue vein on your arm? Why are you worried about normal veins? I have countless. They're veins...

You inquire about mental health assistance. They'll really help you filter out the irrational beliefs.

[DonnaT]

yes I do, I think lots of us on here have been affected majorly by ha. I'm a complete different person than what I was before this started, I never worried about anything, people used to joke that I was so laid back I would be asleep. NOT NOW. The complete opposite. everyday I wake up frightened, the first thought I have every day is ALWAYS about my health. I have four lovely children and I cant enjoy time with them because of worrying. It drives my husband mad. I wouldn't wish health anxiety on my worst enemy. its very debilitating. just remember your not alone and everyone her is struggling to. hope your ok

[Toaster]

You're not alone... that's for sure.

But I cannot recommend mental health assistance enough. It works wonders.

[xBettyBoopx]

To say it's ruined my life would be the biggest understatement in history. I can't begin to tell you how much of my miserable existence has been taken up with anxiety. BUT I will not focus on that, I want to get well, it's not over til the fat lady sings:wacko::wacko: Am I allowed to say fat lady?! :blush::ohmy:

Get as much help as is humanly possible, don't be fobbed off. There is a lot of help on the internet. There are some really good anxiety apps you can download for free if you have a mobile device.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Mav]

I'm 19 and the node in my neck has driven me mad. It's probably 1.5cm's or possibly more, soft and "rubbery". I had bloods and X-rays but everything is clear, waiting on an ENT appointment and I just don't want a diagnosis that I've convinced myself of. My life is miserable and I wish I focused on normal 19 year old girl worries. :(

[Thelegend27]

I see alot of people actually do live the nightmare i do everyday and in some ways its comforting knowing im noy alone but in other ways i know how bad it is to wake up every morning and the first thought on your mind os your health and the last thing on your mind before going to sleep. I think its a cycle you get lost in and if you ever do overcome one obsession something else comes in to replace it. It is very exhausting and nerve racking. I know i affect people around me because I'm always talking about health issues and feeling around on my body for anything abnormal. I try to take doctors words for things but then i get online and see people saying that their doctors said they were fine but later turn out to be something serious. Health anxiety consumes ones entire life and its almost like you cant escape. My nodes havent changed size at least not that i can notice and they are not painful but my neck around the nodes becomes a little sore but that could be because i touch them so much. I wish there was an easy answer because i know alot of people are affected by this monster and several of my family members suffer from it i don't know of they suffer to the same extent as me but Ive had long conversations about anxiety with my sister and brother. Me and my wife are about to leave for a vacation so maybe it'll help me clear my mind and enjoy myself for the first time in 6 years. Thanks for all your feedback and i hope you guys keep it coming because it does help to read other peoples stories knowing that they arent much different from you. By the way the nodes on my neck aren't large and they are side by side and almost completely symmetrical to the 2 nodes in the other side of my neck which i hear is a very good sign so hopefully i can push past this and finally regain control over my life. Someone so young shouldn't have to live in fear because its a long road ahead of us and we cannot keep pulling this weight around with us it will drive us completely insane and we will lose everything we have ever worked for. I wish the best of luck to everyone affected by health anxiety and i hope that we can all get past this and resume a normal happy life. I used to be a very happy social person and this anxiety has taken everything from me.

[GlassPinata]

/ raises hand.


:weep:

[PASchoolSyndrome]

Guilty!

[montys]

I've been there, and it gets better, but only after concerted effort.

The sticky posts in this forum have a number of tips on how to regulate symptoms and not let them get the best of you.

Doctors won't hear you out to the extent that you need because they're not mental health specialists, but a psychiatrist will, so you should try to find one.

Small lifestyle changes like diet, exercise, and meditation will go a long way as well.

And if you haven't already, stop Googling.

What has helped me a lot is journaling to keep note of all of the symptoms I've felt. That way, whenever I experience a new one, I go back and notice whether or not I've felt it before. If I have, then I can safely stop worrying about it, because it's happened before and obviously I'm still alive.

Hang in there. Time heals, and HA is no different. :)

[rainbow]

It's ruining mine atm, been referred for cbt but could wait a while for it.

[Kay8010]

Yes it is me, still trying to differentiate what is real and what is anxiety, on citralopram for 9 days now and feel more panicky than what I did! Waiting CBT appointment too.