louise34
01-03-17, 16:16
I've been browsing the site since the height of my anxiety back in 2013 using it as a tool for guidance and reassurance that I wasn't the only person feeling this way even though at my lowest points that's exactly how I felt!
My anxiety came out of the blue around xmas 2012, I understood my trigger was the death of my mother in law from breast cancer in 2011, but getting my head around the fact that the only illness I was suffering from was health anxiety was another story, I've had what felt to me very real and very scary symptoms and upon consulting doctor google each time I saw the word cancer staring back at me, numerous trips to the doctors and not getting the answers I thought I was going to hear resulted in sinking lower into depression and continuous doomed thoughts it got to a point where I couldn't be away from a computer just incase i needed to google a new symptom!! Finally the last doctor I saw gave it to me straight and said I needed CBT, the result of which I have managed to live my life for the last 2 years in some sort of normaiity with only the occasional anxious thought creeping in which I've been able to deal with.
The reason I have decided to post now is I have today been referred to a breast clinic after finding what I wasn't sure to be a lump, nodule, lobule or breast tissue about a month ago, it could be hormonal, it could have always been there, it could be nothing but my doctor as much as reassuring me that she's not worried, "it's moveable, smooth to touch and doesn't feel it's sinister "wants me to have a scan for my own piece of mind and I'm assuming as part of routine, I've had tears and some feelings of dread even those little 'what if 'voices started rearing their ugly heads again!! I'm desperately trying to remain focused and positive and determined not to go back to that horrible anxiety driven place I was in but I'm struggling a bit with what will be a short but testing waiting time.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS:)
My anxiety came out of the blue around xmas 2012, I understood my trigger was the death of my mother in law from breast cancer in 2011, but getting my head around the fact that the only illness I was suffering from was health anxiety was another story, I've had what felt to me very real and very scary symptoms and upon consulting doctor google each time I saw the word cancer staring back at me, numerous trips to the doctors and not getting the answers I thought I was going to hear resulted in sinking lower into depression and continuous doomed thoughts it got to a point where I couldn't be away from a computer just incase i needed to google a new symptom!! Finally the last doctor I saw gave it to me straight and said I needed CBT, the result of which I have managed to live my life for the last 2 years in some sort of normaiity with only the occasional anxious thought creeping in which I've been able to deal with.
The reason I have decided to post now is I have today been referred to a breast clinic after finding what I wasn't sure to be a lump, nodule, lobule or breast tissue about a month ago, it could be hormonal, it could have always been there, it could be nothing but my doctor as much as reassuring me that she's not worried, "it's moveable, smooth to touch and doesn't feel it's sinister "wants me to have a scan for my own piece of mind and I'm assuming as part of routine, I've had tears and some feelings of dread even those little 'what if 'voices started rearing their ugly heads again!! I'm desperately trying to remain focused and positive and determined not to go back to that horrible anxiety driven place I was in but I'm struggling a bit with what will be a short but testing waiting time.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS:)